The Ability To Start Over
by hazelblye
Summary: AU: Olivia Pope is a recent journalism graduate who takes a job with a public relations firm in order to get the fresh start she so desperately desires. She meets the owner of the firm, Fitzgerald Grant, and something unexpected happens; she starts to fall for him. What's even more unexpected is that she thinks he might be falling for her too.
1. Chapter 1

"Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

* * *

It's my first day and I'm running late. I made the poor decision to trust Abby and use her 'off the beaten path' directions to my new office instead of just following my GPS like any sensible person would. What I really should have done is map out the route a few days in advance and driven it several times before my first day, but since I literally just arrived yesterday from Palos Verdes, I haven't really had time to do anything.

I pull into the parking structure next to the massive building where Grant Global Communications is located. I park my little sports car and get out. Twenty-five years old and I still cannot drive with heels on so I stumble out of the car and put them on praying no one is looking at me because I'm pretty sure this looks extremely awkward. My skirt and blouse are slightly wrinkled from sitting in a hot car in an even hotter suitcase for 6 hours yesterday and my messy hair is falling all over the place because apparently it doesn't want to stay in a bun, which it must in order to cover the red tips I am currently sporting on my dark brown hair since I didn't have time to fix them before coming up here. I try to straighten my outfit as best I can before hastily gathering my things and hurrying into the building. There are several companies in this building and honestly I have no idea where I'm supposed to be going. I make my way into the front lobby and sigh in relief when I spot Harrison; he's the one who got me this job. He sees me and hurries over with a huge smile on his face.

"Olive!" He yells from across the room.

I immediately groan at the use of a moniker I've been trying to shed for ages.

Harrison sees my facial expression and immediately starts to laugh as he pulls me in for a hug. "Sorry, sorry, I forgot you're trading in your old nickname for a hip new one." He says with a grin.

I roll my eyes, "Hey, I've been going by Liv since 6th grade."

Harrison laughs and holds up his arms in defeat, "All right, all right, I guess I can start calling you Liv now."

"So, how have you been?" He says as he grabs my favorite oversized Longchamp bag from where I've dropped it on the floor and we walk toward the elevator engaging in small talk about my much unexpected move to San Jose. We step in and he presses the button on the top floor.

I gulp a little in nervousness. "So, top floor, huh?" I ask him.

Harrison lets out a small laugh; "I don't think I've ever seen you nervous before."

"Shut up!" I hiss, "I'm not nervous." I keep my eyes focused in front of me so I don't have to look him in the eye because I am so lying about that.

Harrison laughs again, "Oh come on, you're totally nervous. Is this this first time ever? I seriously don't ever remember a time when you were ever nervous. This is pretty funny."

I turn my head briefly and scowl at him, I hate that he's right. I don't normally get nervous, I've always been good at public speaking, good at talking to strangers, just plain good on my feet. It's a point of pride for me.

Harrison puts his arm around my shoulders and squeezes, "Don't stress, you'll be fine." He says, giving my shoulders a squeeze and then letting his arm fall back into place next to his side.

"Oh yeah, that would be much more easily done if I was actually aware of what my job is going to entail." I say, making it pretty clear that even though I previously denied it, I am definitely nervous.

"You're going to be working with Fitzgerald Grant." He says, grinning deviously at me.

I roll my eyes because I think he's being sarcastic with me, "Harrison, obviously, he does own the company."

And again, Harrison laughs at me, for some reason I am wildly amusing to him today. "No Olive, you will be working directly with him."

Just then the elevator dings and we arrive at our floor, Harrison exits and I pause for a moment before I realize I should be following him, stunned at what he's just told me. After a moment I emerge from my stupor and catch up to him, "I'm sorry, but I don't feel like I'm qualified to work with the owner of the company." I say, a bit dramatically.

Harrison turns to me as we reach an office door along the far end of the beige colored hallway of offices we have just passed. "Actually, he approved your resume himself."

He turns the door knob of what I assume is his office door and walks in, sitting in his chair behind his desk and motioning for me to sit in a stiff looking leather chair on the opposite side of it.

Once he is seated I give him the annoyed look my Dad claims the women in my family are famous for.

Harrison looks directly at me and drops the pen he's just picked up, "Okay, honestly he didn't care so much about your lack of a resume, in fact I'm pretty sure he stopped reading after 'Berkeley School of Journalism'."

I scrunch my forehead in confusion, "So, the head of a major PR firm prefers Berkeley School of Journalism graduates over actual qualified individuals who probably have degrees in public relations?"

"He actually got a masters in journalism from Berkeley too, and you're fine, you've got an undergrad degree in communications, that's mostly what you'll be doing." Harrison says, further intriguing me about the mysterious Fitzgerald Grant as he begins to rummage around in his files for something.

"Seriously?" I ask, a little bit confused as to why someone with a Masters in Journalism from Berkeley would own a PR firm.

Harrison shrugs and continues looking for something in his filing cabinet, indicating he has no idea why either. He grabs a folder and pulls it out, handing it to me. "At some point today sit down and fill these out, they shouldn't take too long. Then when you're done just bring them to me." He says, handing me a small stack of papers from the file. He then looks at his watch, "Oh, you're new boss will be out of his meeting soon. We should probably head over to his office so we aren't late. He hates it when you're late."

I gather my briefcase and nod, making a mental note in my head to not be late, and I follow Harrison past a few conference rooms to a small sitting area across from what I assume is the corner office that Fitzgerald Grant undoubtedly occupies.

Harrison takes a seat on a plush leather armchair in the little waiting room area where Mr. Grant's secretary's desk is and motions for me to do the same. My rigid body sinks uncomfortably into the leather armchair and I can't get comfortable so instead I sit at the front of the chair and lean forward so I can look around at the artwork decorating the office walls. It's interesting and doesn't strike me as typical artwork for this business, not that I would know considering I've never even set foot in a PR firm before today, but I assumed the walls would be lined with successes, you know, famous clients they have done business with, because from all of Harrison's stories I know it's quite a few. But the artwork here looks like actual art you would buy in a gallery, collages and mixed media artwork that give the mostly white and black room a beautiful pop of life.

A moment later two men emerge from Fitzgerald Grant's office, they are dressed impeccably in suits and ties and both of them have short, perfectly cut hair. A moment later, the man I assume is Fitzgerald Grant himself, walks out and the men say their goodbyes.

I'm a little shocked at the man before me. He is tall and lean, his curly light brown hair is slicked back on his head but in a way that still makes it seem easygoing, there is a curl near the peak of his hairline that I assume falls down in his face a la Clark Kent when Fitzgerald Grant is focusing on something really hard. I'm mostly surprised because I know he's in his late forties and honestly I didn't really expect him to be so handsome, I never really assume older men are going to be attractive unless they're George Clooney or Tom Selleck.

As I'm staring unabashed at him he looks directly at his secretary and taps his watch; she nods and writes something down in a book. I assume this is shorthand for keeping track of how much time he spends with his clients.

Then he turns to Harrison and me, Harrison stands up and I follow suit. Fitzgerald Grant spots us and walks over.

"You must be Olivia Pope." He says, the corners of his mouth turning upward to form a beautiful smile, and offers me his hand.

I nod and reach my hand out to grasp his, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Grant," I say with the most normal smile I can muster up after I've just compared my new boss to Clark Kent in my head. My hand touches his, his much larger one engulfing my tiny one, his hand is strong and warm and I feel a small jolt of electricity surge through my body. I hope he didn't notice.

But he probably did because his smile turns into a quizzical look, but that may also because I've been holding his hand for far too long. Finally I release his hand and place my own behind my back with the other one as if I am standing at attention during one of my Dad's PT sessions with me and my sisters from childhood, this must look awkward. I really _really_ hope he didn't notice and I'm just making things up in my head, if he mentions this I think I may die. I make a mental note to punch Harrison for never showing me a picture of Fitzgerald Grant. That bastard.

"You as well, and please, call me Fitz." He answers with a dashing smile that makes me swoon a bit.

I nod my head furiously, I want to speak but I'm afraid I'll say something embarrassing like, 'I would love to call you Fitz'. Thankfully Fitzgerald Grant doesn't let my awkward silence linger too long and says, "You have a beautiful name, Olivia."

I can feel myself shiver when he says my name; I've never had a problem with my name but I've never been in love with it either, but when he says it I feel like it's the most beautiful name in the world. I'd actually like him to say it again but I'm also nervous that if he does I'm going to topple over and destroy this most likely incredibly expensive glass table that is separating me from Fitzgerald Grant. In fact, I like the way he says it so much I can't even bring myself to ask him to call me Liv.

Unfortunately Harrison does that for me.

"Actually, she prefers to go by Liv." Harrison adds in, winking at me like he deserves a piece of cake for finally remembering the name I prefer to be called.

If I didn't think Fitz would notice, I'd scowl at Harrison.

"That's disappointing." Fitz says, in mock disappointment, though I can't help but get the feeling that there might be some actual disappointment in the undertones of his voice.

I smile awkwardly but keep my mouth shut because what I want to say is, 'No, keep calling me Olivia because when you say it, it sounds like you're reading a romantic poem instead of talking to a toddler.' But I shouldn't say that because it would be wildly inappropriate. So I'm keeping my mouth shut.

Harrison laughs at Fitz's comment and then looks at his watch, "Well, I've got a call with a client soon so I'm going to let Grant terrify you with the details of your new job and the frightening amount of time you're going to have to spend with him." Harrison and Fitz both laugh at this comment, it must be a running joke between them, thankfully their laughter covers up the snort I accidentally let out from hearing Harrison refer to Fitzgerald Grant as just 'Grant', of course he does that. Harrison is such a bro and doing that is a total bro thing to do. Fitz playfully punches Harrison on the shoulder as they both keep laughing, there's probably more to this little inside joke that I realize. I know they're "bros" because Harrison has told me stories of some of the crazier things they've done while working together. But seeing it in person just makes it kind of hilarious.

Harrison then looks at me and gets serious again, "Good luck, your first lunch is on me so just come get me when this tyrant lets you out of your office."

I nod, not really sure what to say to this but I look over and see Fitz is laughing again so I break a small smile as I watch Harrison walk toward his office.

As I watch Harrison walk into his office my stomach drops, I don't know how I'm going to deal with listening to Fitz talk about my duties and whatnot because his beautiful face is too damn distracting. I mean honestly, why would god allow a man in his upper forties to be this good looking? It's just not fair. Plus the way his hair is styled keeps making me think of Clark Kent and therefore I'm picturing Fitz in a Superman costume.

I turn to Fitz and luckily he speaks first, "How about I show you to your office and then we'll get started?" He asks me.

I nod again; still not sure I should open my mouth in fear of what comic book mumbo jumbo may come out. He walks me into an office directly next to his own, from what I saw of his office I come to the conclusion that my office is probably about half the size, though still very large.

We enter the office and he walks around the desk to pull out the chair behind it, "Welcome to your new office, have a seat." He says kindly.

I smile at him, trying not to look like I'm trying to stare into his Mediterranean blue eyes, but really how am I not supposed to stare? I set my bag down on the floor and sit down in the chair, Fitz rolls me forward slightly so I am sitting right at my new desk, he then walks around the front and plops himself down on one of the two leather armchairs in front of my desk.

"What do you think?" He asks, motioning around the office with his hands.

"I feel more Matt Murdock than Lois Lane." I answer without thinking. Crap, I've just referenced not one, but two comic books within fifteen minutes of meeting my new boss. This is going great.

"Sorry." I stammer, "That was a reference to…"

"Daredevil and Superman." Fitz finishes my sentence for me, a wicked grin on his face.

I'm pretty sure my jaw just dropped all the way to the floor but I still can't seem to close my mouth and respond. Fitzgerald Grant reads comic books. Of course now he just went up a notch on the attractiveness scale.

Fitz of course bridges the silence for me, I think this may become routine for us, "So how does this feel like you're Matt Murdock?" He asks.

I finally close my mouth and pull myself together enough to answer him, "Well, this is just similar to my parents' law offices, you know, fancy lawyer-style furniture with fancy leather chairs to make you think being in a lawyer's office is comforting, even if that's just an illusion. Whenever I'm at their office I just always imagine that's how Matt Murdock's office looks."

"And you're a journalist so you always imagined yourself in a bullpen type office like Lois Lane." Fitz says, still smiling but staring at me a little more intently, just enough to make me feel uncomfortable, though that isn't really hard to do when you're an attractive man.

I find that I'm gripping the armrests of the chair like they're the railings of a very narrow staircase and I try to casually let go and put my hands in my lap without looking like I'm attempting to look more casual. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound offensive, I'm a big fan of Matt Murdock and this office is beautiful. It's so much nicer than I ever would have expected my first office to be." I can feel my voice go up half an octave as I speak, how is this man making me more nervous by the minute?

Fitz smiles at me again and shakes his head, "Oh no, no offense taken. When I graduated from grad school I didn't see myself ending up in an office like this either. I assume this isn't exactly what you wanted to be doing after you graduated from school. What actually drew me to your resume was Berkeley School of Journalism, it's always a pleasure to help out a fellow Berkeley grad." He says, his eyes lighting up when he says Berkeley.

I sigh and ease up a little bit, I love to talk about Berkeley. I smile brightly at him, "Best two years of my life." I say, being completely candid. "I only wish I had gone to undergrad there as well."

"Best six years of my life." He says cheekily.

"You went to undergrad there as well?" I ask, Harrison mentioned he went there for grad school but didn't say he went there for undergrad as well.

"Business Administration and Art History." He says.

I shoot him a confused look, business administration and art history don't exactly mix well, nor do they make any sense along with a masters in journalism.

He laughs at me, "I know, it doesn't make sense to get a masters in journalism but halfway through my junior year I saw Fred Friendly speak and I was just mesmerized by him, you know who Fred Friendly is, he's the…"

"Former president of CBS news and produced "Harvest of Shame, he helped Murrow take down McCarthy." I finish for him, of course I know of Fred Friendly.

He smiles at me, "I'm glad you know that, my faith in Berkeley continues to be unwavering." He says before picking up where I interrupted him, "I saw him speak and then found out there was an intro to journalism class being offered and I took it for fun and ended up loving it. That's how I ended up getting my masters in journalism."

I'm pretty amazed, "Wow, that's pretty interesting."

He tilts his head and looks directly into my eyes, "I'm a surprisingly interesting person once you get to know me."

I smile at him, I feel like he's just flirted with me. Though it was possibly accidental or I'm misreading his tone or maybe this is just how he talks to everyone. Because I'm not really sure why he would ever want to flirt with me, I'm such small potatoes compared to him. I know that I'm pretty but he's just so very handsome and so very successful, I'm sure even Victoria's Secret model's are dying to get into this man's pants. He is clearly out of my league. Not to mention he is a whole person who can drink older than me.

I snap out of my little foray into my own world and I smile at him again, "I don't doubt you're an interesting person. I mean, you can't be dull when you graduate from Berkeley."

He laughs and smiles at me, "I couldn't agree more. All right, let's get you started."

* * *

If you want special previews of my new chapters before they arrive follow my twitter and tumblr (the links are on my bio page). Or just follow me because you're a cool cat and you know I follow back ;]. Also_ please_ tell me what you think of this story and feel free to just chat me up on either of those sites or on this one, I love to talk!

Thanks a million for reading. Gladiators rock!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	2. Chapter 2

"If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

* * *

"Abby, stop it, no more!" I yell over the blast of the blender.

We've been unpacking my things and making margaritas since 7 PM and it's now almost 10 and I'm definitely a little buzzed.

She stops blending for a minute to respond, "No way, I had to beg and flash a lot of cleavage in order to get my boss to let me out early on reset day in order to be here after your first day so we are drinking margaritas and you are going to enjoy it!"

She dramatically presses the start button on the blender again and continues making margaritas. Abby is an artist and works at a gallery and on Monday nights they close to reset and take inventory.

I laugh, "You had to flash your cleavage? Abby, isn't your boss a woman?"

"Lesbian." She yells over the blender.

She's done blending the next batch and she pours us both a new glass and walks over to me, handing me the drink.

"I'm going to be hung over on my second day of work, I hate you a little bit." I say as I take the drink.

Abby laughs, "False, you love me and we will stop after this one, I promise. I'm just so excited you're here! Liv we haven't lived in the same city for three years and now we are roommates again! You can't tell me you aren't excited, it's Abby and Liv back together again!"

I smile at her and get up off the floor to sit next to the sofa by Abby. We were assigned as roommates our freshman year at Pepperdine and we've pretty much been best friends ever since. Abby is my rock and I'm so happy to finally live in the same city again.

I grab her hand, "I'm so excited to be here Abs, you're the best for letting me room with you."

She smiles, "You're the best roommate Liv, you know I didn't even think twice when you asked me if I needed a roommate. It's always a yes for you. So, now that you're a little tipsy, what do you really think of the new job?"

I lean my head back against the sofa and I sigh, "It's obviously not what I wanted to be doing but I think it's going to be interesting. I'm at least going to be able to make some good connections to hopefully help me get a decent journalism job."

"How's working with Harrison?"

I laugh, "It's good, he kind of does his own thing, he's basically the second in command over there which I did not realize, he even has his own secretary."

"Damn, I'd never peg Harrison as someone who can be professional. I'll always remember the first time I met him at your parents New Years Eve party and he got so blasted that he fell in the pool and thought he was drowning in the shallow end and then jumped back on the floating platform and proceeded to do a striptease to "We Didn't Start The Fire"."

We both burst out laughing, that is definitely one of my favorite memories of Harrison.

"So how do you like that Fitzgerald Grant guy? I hear he's kind of a big deal; my boss says he's really into philanthropy. He sponsors an art show for charity every year at a different gallery. She also said he's really handsome, which is a big deal coming from her."

I take another gulp of my margarita, "She's right, he's very handsome. He's really nice too; definitely one of those bosses who expect a lot but I don't think it's in an over the top way, he just expects his employees to put forth their best efforts."

Abby smiles, "That's great Liv, I'm so happy for you. Now all you need to do is get rid of Jake and you'll have your perfect little San Jose fresh start!"

I shake my head, Abby is referencing my boyfriend, she doesn't really like him very much. "I told him I needed a break for a little while but honestly I think I just want to break it off completely."

Abby rolls her eyes at me, "You know I've been telling you that for ages. Jake is a good guy, he's just not good for you."

"I know, I know. I think my two years at Berkeley just kind of made me forget how terrible we were together because we rarely saw each other and then when I moved home we were doing well for a couple weeks and then it all just went to crap. At least _I _think it all went to crap, Jake of course thinks we're doing fine. He just doesn't see me, I don't know, does that make any sense?"

Abby sets her glass on the coffee table and leans forward so she can place both of her hands on my leg. "It makes complete sense, he doesn't see that you are fine just the way you are. Jake's problem is that he's always trying to fix you but you don't need to be fixed Liv, you are great."

I set my glass down too and grab her hands, "You're the best Abby, you know me better than anyone."

Abby smiles, "That's what best friends are for little weirdo."

"Okay, I appreciate your help with the unpacking and the alcohol but I should probably get to bed."

Abby laughs, "Yeah, yeah but don't think that because you have a big girl job now that you get to be boring all the time. Friday night you and I are going out with my friend Quinn, we are getting blasted drunk and then we are going to sit by the pool all day on Saturday and then we're going on an art crawl Saturday night. It's going to be great!"

I laugh, "I'm all for that but right now I'm going to bed."

Abby and I both get up off the sofa, "Goodnight Liv, I'm glad you're here." She says as she hugs me.

"I'm glad I'm here too, Abby."

The next morning I am surprisingly not hung over. At work I do mostly editing all morning, the office is fairly quiet right now but Harrison says it's usually pretty busy.

There's a knock on the door that connects my office to Fitz's and he pops his head in.

I look up and smile at him, "Come in."

He smiles back at me, he really has a fantastic smile. His whole face really, it's just very very nice and I wish I could stop swooning over him because he's going to start noticing.

"How's everything going? Are you adjusting?" He asks as he sits down in one of the chairs across from my desk.

He sinks into the chair and crosses an ankle over his knee; he looks so casual and cool and like he should be photographed for GQ instead of sitting in an office.

I lean back in my chair and attempt to be casual, "It's going well, thankfully I'm a weirdo and enjoy grammar and sentence structure so editing is actually something I like."

Fitz laughs, "That's good, I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch with me today? Since you got to meet everyone yesterday at lunch and saw the kitchen area where most of the staff eats daily I thought I could take you to lunch around the block as a sort of welcome to GGC. Of course Harrison is coming too, he invited himself."

I laugh, that's a totally Harrison thing to do. "Yes, thank you, I'd really enjoy that."

"Wonderful, we can head out in five?"

I nod my head okay and he gets up and leaves my office. I let out a long breath I didn't even know I was holding in. I wish Fitz didn't make me so nervous.

Five minutes later I walk out of my office and see Fitz and Harrison waiting in the hall.

"There she is!" Harrison says happily, "Let's get going, I am starving!"

We walk around the corner to a cute little burger place and get a table. Harrison gets a regular burger, Fitz gets a turkey burger, and I get a black bean burger.

"So, Liv, Harrison tells me you two grew up together, I take it that means you're a Marine Corps brat also?"

I smile, "Yeah, we lived next door to each other on base in Okinawa and our dad's have been friends since they were in OCS together."

Harrison smiles, "Yep, Marine Corps family is a bond like no other. Fitz was Navy so he knows a little about that."

I look over at him and size him up, he isn't the type of guy I would peg as a sailor and then it hits me, "You were a flyboy, weren't you?"

Fitz grins, "How the hell did you guess that?"

I shrug, "It's a talent." I applaud myself in my head for being able to respond to Fitz so casually when he is flashing me that gorgeous grin.

Harrison laughs, "Liv has a weird intuition, that's why she's going to make a kick ass journalist one day."

I smile at Harrison; I really do love him like a brother.

"So what did you fly?" I ask.

"F-14's."

I grin, "Tomcats, so did you train at the fighter weapons school at Miramar?"

Fitz looks surprised I know what I'm talking about. "I did actually, in 1992 a few years before they merged it with the strike and air warfare school at Fallon."

My mouth drops open because I can't believe Fitz was at Miramar in 1992, "Seriously? That's so funny, my Dad was stationed at Miramar then. We lived on base through 1993."

"Wow, small world. Were you born in San Diego, then?"

I nod, "I was."

"It's a great city, I enjoyed my time there. I'd love to open an office down there someday."

"So Liv," he continues, "What do you like to do in your spare time?"

"I don't know, I write and read a lot. I also enjoy live music and I like pretty much any activity that involves the ocean. I'm pretty boring." I say with a shrug.

Fitz is looking at me with his fiercely blue eyes as if he's studying me. I'd feel uncomfortable if I wasn't so mesmerized by them.

"I don't believe that for a second." He says, his gaze unwavering.

Harrison is pretty much ignoring both of us in favor of his burger so thankfully he hasn't noticed the little moment Fitz and I are having.

I'm a little flustered so I abruptly turn my head away, unable to form any coherent thoughts in my brain.

Thankfully Harrison comes out of his burger haze and decides to comment before I can make this any more awkward. "Liv, don't be ridiculous. You are one of the least boring people I've ever met. Fitz, have I ever told you about the time when I was nineteen and came back to Okinawa from my first summer of college? My parents and Liv's parents decided that they were going to take us to see the Great Wall of China and thirteen year old Liv decided that she wanted to zip line off the Great Wall. She then proceeded to convince her older sister and me to come with and failed to mention she hadn't asked our parents."

"Hey, that was fun and you know it!" I say in defense of my actions. "And by the way our parents would have said yes."

Harrison laughs, "Yeah, that wasn't why they were pissed Liv, they were pissed because they thought they lost us in China!"

I shrug, "Hey, I was thirteen, you were supposed to be the responsible one!"

Harrison continues to laugh and Fitz is just shaking his head and smiling at me.

About an hour after lunch Fitz and I are going over a few things in his office when there's a knock at the door.

"Come in." He says without even looking up from the papers in front of us.

A very tall brunette girl walks in. She's wearing a cute pair of harem pants with a grey and maroon bohemian sweater and she's got fabulous ankle boots on, I definitely didn't meet her yesterday, I would have remembered someone who looked like her.

"Fitz, I have the mock-ups for the banners you wanted and I also updated the logo a little bit to make it stand out."

Fitz stands up and takes the papers from the girl, "Thanks so much, these look great. Oh Lauren, this is Olivia. Olivia this is Lauren. Olivia has been given the daunting task of being my assistant, hopefully I don't scare her away too quickly." He says, grinning as he introduces us.

I stand up to shake Lauren's hand.

"It's nice to meet you." I say with a smile.

Lauren returns mine and seems genuine, "You too, you're Harrison's friend, right?"

I laugh, "Guilty."

"Don't worry, I won't hold it against you." Lauren quips. I already think I'm going to like her.

"Lauren is one of our fantastic graphic designers. She's also my go-to for advice on how to be hip."

Lauren laughs and rolls her eyes, "Right, what did we say about using the word 'hip'?"

Fitz laughs, turns to me, and shrugs, "I'll clearly never be cool."

I smile, I love how Fitz is so casual with his employees, it makes him so much less intimidating.

"Hey, Lauren, would you mind giving Liv a tour of your creativity lair?"

Lauren smiles, "Yeah, I'd love to."

My ears perk up, "That sounds great, thanks Fitz."

Lauren and I walk out of the office and down the hallway to the opposite end of the building where the designers work.

"You like it here so far?" Lauren asks.

I nod my head, "Yeah, I really do. Um, this may be a weird question but is Fitz always this nice or is he going to turn into a crazy workaholic nutjob once I get settled in?"

Lauren laughs, "No, Fitz is probably one of the most sincere people you'll ever meet. He expects a lot out of his employees but he also cares a lot about them. He's truly just a nice guy. He gets angry every once in a while and it can be a little scary, but you know, he's the boss, it'd be weirder if it didn't happen."

Lauren opens the door to a large room at the end of the hallway; it's set up with five cubicle type areas and has a bunch of logos and ads decorating the walls. It's bright in here and is very different from the subtle and minimalistic décor around the rest of the obvious. I think I also spot a 3D printer in the corner and I hope that Lauren will show me how to use it; I've always wanted to see how they work.

"So, this is the graphic designers lair, it's pretty casual in here because we're shut off from every one else. If you ever need a break feel free to come find me in here."

I smile at her, "Thanks, I will." I'm thinking I should invite Lauren out this weekend; she seems like the kind of girl who Abby would really enjoy hanging out with.

Later, as I am leaving work for the day Fitz pokes his head in my open door, "Hey Liv, I'm glad I caught you before you left for the day." He steps inside my office and he looks like he's ready to be done for the day, his suit jacket is off and his tie looks like he has loosened it from around his neck just the slightest. His shirtsleeves are rolled up to his elbows and I can see the muscles in his forearms. He must work out at least a little bit because his muscles are defined in the best way, not bulky but just defined enough to be incredibly attractive.

"I just wanted to tell you that you're doing great and I hope you are enjoying working here. You're an absolute pleasure to work with and I know I can get a little frustrating but I hope you enjoy working with me as well."

I smile at him, good lord he's beautiful, and my brain scrambles for something to say, "Thank you, I am enjoying it here and you're not frustrating, you're a pleasure to work with as well."

He grins at me and I can feel my face get flush, "You're sweet Livvy, have a good night." And with that he's out of my office and back into his own. I plop myself down in my chair and I sigh, he just called me Livvy. And I didn't hate it, not even a little bit. Actually I liked it. A lot. God, it is going to be exhausting trying to work with this man if he's going to continue to say my name like that.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I really hope you enjoyed chapter 2! Feedback is ALWAYS appreciated so please leave me your thoughts and don't forget to check out my bio page for links to my twitter and tumblr so you can get special previews of my new chapters! Seriously though, THANK YOU for reading!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	3. Chapter 3

"Most of us are content to exist and breed and fight for the right to do both, and the dominant idea, the foredoomed attest to control one's destiny, is reserved for the fortunate or unfortunate few."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Offshore Pirate

* * *

My first week at Grant Global Communications went by surprisingly fast. I had been nervous that it would take me a while to adjust but I've found that adjusting wasn't that hard and I feel like I'm already in a rhythm. Abby, Quinn, Lauren, and I went out last night to a dueling piano bar. Lauren introduced us to her girlfriend, Savannah, and we spent the night singing along to ridiculous songs and ended up closing down the bar. It kind of felt like we were back at Pepperdine, like we were just a bunch of college students without a care in the world. It felt good, it felt like life was finally back to normal, after years of trying so hard to find myself, like all the twists and turns my life took since freshman year of college finally started to make sense.

We slept in until eleven and then made ourselves comfortable on deck chairs at the apartment pool. I can definitely get used to this, friends, sunshine, and wine. Three things I love.

Late that night I find myself standing alone in a sea of people at Abby's gallery. This is the last stop on our art crawl and I've had fun so far, I like looking at all the art but what I really enjoy is people watching. It's funny to see how different people react to different art: the couples on first dates trying to impress each other, the significant others who are clearly just humoring their spouses, the art snobs with their noses stuck up in the air, the friends like me who are just along for the ride, there are so many different people and I love watching them. I'm standing in the middle of the room pretending to look at a sort of paper sculpture hanging from some wires attached to the ceiling, there are several others around the upper floor of the gallery but this one gives me the best vantage point to people watch and since Abby is helping her boss with a quick crisis this is all I have to keep me occupied for a little while.

I am suddenly knocked back into reality at the sound of a voice next to me.

"You think she knows he's doing a crossword on his phone?"

I abruptly turn my head in the direction of the voice; I can feel my face heating up with embarrassment at the fact that someone has caught me people watching.

I exhale when I see the source of the voice, my boss, Fitzgerald Grant. He's standing next to me wearing a gorgeous navy suit and a light blue pinstripe shirt, he has forgone a tie in favor of leaving the top couple buttons open. He looks casual but still completely put together, his hands are in his pockets and his suit is unbuttoned and the look is really working for him.

"Fitz, hi." I manage to stammer out.

"Hi." He says, grinning at me.

I can't form a coherent thought in my mind and so I just smile at him for a moment.

Thankfully he breaks the ice, "My bet is that she thinks he's genuinely interested, he's probably convinced her that he's just googling art terms."

I can't help but laugh, "You're probably right." I take a deep breath, "I didn't expect to see you at this kind of thing."

Fitz laughs, "Art history degree."

I shake my head, "That's right, I forgot you've got all kinds of secret talents."

"You better believe it." He retorts, winking at me as he speaks. "So are you here alone?"

I shake my head, "No, I'm with my roommate. She actually works here, she's an artist, we did an art crawl tonight and this is our final stop. They had some kind of issue and she got roped into helping so I'm trying to keep myself occupied until she's finished. What about you, are you here alone?"

Fitz shakes his head and points at a group of three people—two men and a woman, "I'm here with them."

I can feel my breath hitch in my lungs and before I can stop myself I am asking, "Your girlfriend?"

Fitz shakes his head and laughs, "No, I don't have a girlfriend."

"Boyfriend?" I ask, apparently the boxed wine in this pastic cup is making me brave.

Thankfully Fitz thinks I'm funny and he bursts out laughing, "No those are my friends Cyrus and James, they are married and the woman with them is someone they're trying to set me up with."

I look over at her, she looks like she's in her thirties and she has pretty blonde hair, she's kind of short and she's thin and she's wearing what I know is a very expensive Tory Burch dress.

"You don't like her?"

Fitz shrugs, "Don't get me wrong, she's very nice, she's just not my type."

"Do your friends set you up on dates a lot?"

Fitz laughs again, "They try to, but I'm not much of the dating type."

"Ahh, so you're like the George Clooney of San Jose? Forever a bachelor."

Fitz is still grinning at me, "Hey, I'll have you know that I am only 42, I've got a solid ten years to settle down before I turn into Clooney. But I won't lie, I'm a fan of Clooney's so I don't hate the comparison."

Now I laugh, almost spewing the boxed wine I'm drinking all over Fitz.

"What? I can't be a fan of George Clooney?"

I shake my head, unable to speak from the combination of laughter and for fear that the wine I've practically inhaled is going to come out my nose.

All of a sudden the two men and the woman Fitz is here with are next to us and thankfully our laughter has died down. The blonde woman stands in between us and sort of sizes me up as if I'm her competition. Liv, I'd like you to meet my friends James Novak, Cyrus Beene, and Michelle Burke." He points them out to me as he introduces them. "This," he says, motioning toward me with his hand, "Is my brilliant new assistant, Olivia Pope."

Michelle seems to relax now that she knows I am Fitz's assistant and I'm not just another woman vying for his affection. The man he's identified as Cyrus steps forward and shakes my hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you Olivia, you've only been Fitz's assistant for a week and he's already raving about you. I'm just impressed you made it through a week with this man, he can be quite a handful."

I shake Cyrus' hand and laugh, "He's not so bad." I say with a wink.

Cyrus, James and Fitz all start howling in laughter, "I hope you can keep this one around for a while Fitz, she's feisty, you could use that." The man named James says.

It's then that Michelle interrupts, "We should get going if we want to have enough time to get through the next gallery."

Michelle barely gives me the time of day before she turns around and heads to the door but Cyrus turns to me, "It was a pleasure to meet you Olivia."

I smile at him, "You as well."

James then shakes my hand too; "I hope we meet again soon Miss Pope."

"I hope so too Mr. Novak, it was a pleasure."

James and Cyrus walk toward the door and now it's just Fitz and I again.

"Well, I guess I should be going." He looks back and for a minute I think I see something in his eyes that tells me he would rather stay here with me. But I must be imagining that because there's no way a handsome, successful, sweet, man like Fitz would ever want to be with me when he could probably date a movie star if that's what he wanted.

"It was wonderful to see you, Livvy. I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. I look forward to seeing you on Monday."

"Goodnight, Fitz." Is all I can manage to squeak out because he called me Livvy again and it's making me all wobbly.

He turns around and heads toward the door and before he exits the gallery he turns around and waves. I stay frozen to the spot I'm in because my legs have turned to jello and I'm afraid that if I move I will just fall over.

I'm still staring out the door when Abby approaches me a moment later.

"Hey, Liv, I'm so sorry. Major problem with one of the backdrops, I am so sorry I ditched you. You ready to go home? I'm thinking we open up a bottle of wine and watch Tangled? I'm just in that kind of mood.

I laugh, "That sounds absolutely amazing, let's go."

And with that I hook my arm around Abby's and we waltz out of the gallery together and head home.

A while later as Abby and I are cuddled together on the sofa, wine glasses in hand. We are at the point in Tangled where Rapunzel and Flynn are on the boat singing "I See The Light".

I look over at Abby, "Abs?"

She turns to look at me, placing her head on the back of the sofa, "Yeah?"

"Do you believe in destiny or fate?"

Abby sighs, "Well, I guess maybe, in certain contexts."

I know I look confused because she starts to clarify, "Like, I don't believe certain things are destined to happen to you but I do believe that you are destined to meet certain people and that those people and their influence—or lack of—is what helps you become the person you're meant to be."

I sigh, "Do you really, truly believe that?"

Abby smiles at me and grabs my hand, "Well, I know that I started out as a marketing major and then I met my freshman year roommate and she saw my art and she helped me to realize that I truly wanted to be an artist. And even though I knew it wasn't the most reliable career choice I knew that nothing else was going to make me as happy. I don't know if I would have come to that realization if I had never met you. So to answer you, yes. I do truly believe that because I believe you're one of those people for me."

I pull her hand to my heart, "I think you're one of those people for me too, Abs."

Abby grins, "I'm so glad you're here, Liv."

"Me too."

* * *

THANK YOU for reading! Sorry this chapter was short, it was originally supposed to be tacked on to the last chapter but I just felt it kind of needed to be on it's own. Because it is so short though, I have posted the sneak peak of Chapter 4 on my tumblr! (the link is on my page) So check that out as well! Anyway, leave me some comments & as always thanks a million for taking the time to read my little story!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	4. Chapter 4

"His dark eyes took me in, and I wondered what they would look like if he fell in love."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Love Of The Last Tycoon

* * *

I've been at Grant Global Communications for a month now and I have to say I've been enjoying myself. I'm making friends at work, I love living with Abby again, and I'm finally to the point where I can have a conversation with Fitz and act like a normal human being.

Fitz and I have actually developed a good repertoire. Working with him is really enjoyable, he's a really funny guy and although this job isn't ideal, I find myself truly enjoying it and I think it's because I really just like Fitz. And not like him as in think he's really hot, which I do, but actually truly like his personality.

I'm working quietly at my desk one day when Fitz barges into my office, he's funny in the way that he's very cautious of my personal space unless he has something he's either really excited about or if he's on a roll with something he's working on.

I look up at him and he's plopped himself down in one of the leather chairs across from my desk and is grinning at me. I'm sure I look like a maniac because I'm trying to smile normally but at the same time I can't help but be slightly nervous about why he's grinning at me.

"Hey, Fitz, what's up?" I ask trying to seem casual.

He leans forward in his chair, "I was thinking that we have a client dinner on Thursday and I'd really like it if you came."

I swear if I was standing up I would have fallen over, I'm wracking my brain trying to find an appropriate response. "I'd…that would…I would really like that." I manage to stutter out and internally curse at myself for reverting back to being unable to form a coherent sentence around Fitz when I'd been so proud of myself for supposedly getting over that.

"Great!" He says, jumping out of his chair. "I'm going to send a car for you-these things can get pretty boozy. Be ready at 7:00."

I nod my head because I still have a hard time saying normal things around him and all his handsomeness.

"Perfect." He says, tapping his hand on my desk before waltzing back into his office.

A few hours later I'm sitting on the patio at lunch talking to two of the girls who work in the office; one is Lauren who has become someone I really enjoy spending time with. She's super creative and eclectic and we get along really well. And then there is Amanda who is four years older than me and although she's nice, she can be kind of fake. She's one of those people who you have to be careful what you say to because it will get around the office in a flash if she finds out.

We've been making small talk for most of our lunch hour and just enjoying the beautiful weather when Fitz suddenly appears outside. He stops at a table about twenty feet away from us to talk to Harrison and another coworker and Amanda sighs.

"Good lord that man is handsome."

"I agree." Lauren chimes in, "I don't even like men and even I think that Fitz is just YUM."

I'm trying to avoid adding my two cents but Amanda notices my silence and decides to rib me about it. "Liv, you're awfully quiet. You get to work with Fitz more than anyone, don't you find him sexy?"

I laugh and pray it sounds normal, "He's our boss. Come on, we can't think of him like that."

Lauren smiles, "Oh come on Liv, you're so proper and polite!"

They quiet down because Fitz has started walking toward us. He's smiling at me and the moment he gets to our table he immediately starts talking to me-ignoring Amanda and Lauren.

"Livvy, I just wanted to let you know I made the reservation tomorrow for George's. I'll be by around seven to pick you up and I just need you to remember to bring the proposal binder because you know I'll forget it."

"Don't worry, I'll reprint those pages we discussed later today and I'll be sure to bring it with me."

"Livvy, you're a lifesaver, what would I do without you?" Fitz says before saying a quick hello to the girls and heading back into the office.

When he walks inside, Amanda turns to me with a scary gleam in her eye, "Livvy? He calls you Livvy?" She's looking at me like Fitz calling me Livvy is some kind of scandal so I try to play it as cool as I can.

"Yeah, so?" I'm trying very hard to act aloof about this.

"I thought you hated being called Livvy?"

I roll my eyes, "Only when Harrison calls me Livvy, but that's because when he says it, it makes me feel like I'm ten years old. And plus, I'm not about to tell our boss to stop calling me that."

"Because you _like_ it." Amanda teases, "It's like 'Livvy, I must have you now. Livvy, you're so beautiful. Oh Livvy.'" She's doing her best Fitz 'imitation' and thank god Lauren is rolling her eyes along with me.

"Oh shut up, you're just jealous because he wants her to come to a client dinner with him and you've been trying to push your way into one of those boring things since you started."

I cover my mouth with my tea so it doesn't look like I'm laughing, god I love Lauren.

Amanda sneers at her, "Whatever, I have a boyfriend."

Lauren and I just roll our eyes and both decide not to add any more fuel to the fire and just keep quiet.

Several hours later it's about 6:45 and I'm getting anxious about this dinner. Abby has been laughing at me all night watching me get ready because I've gone through at least ten outfits and my room is like a clothing minefield. The sad part is all ten outfits have been black and white dresses; the problem is they are all short and just didn't feel business-like. I finally settled on a white cocktail dress. It's very simple with 3/4th length sleeves, a scoop neck with a deep scoop in the back, and the dress hits a few inches below my knees but has a cute triangle pattern of cut outs as detail about two inches from the bottom of the skirt which makes it's classy length a little edgier. I've added my favorite thin gold belt around the middle to add a little accent and have put on matching white platform pumps that make me feel insanely tall. I'm really happy this outfit is making me feel absolutely fantastic because it's giving me some confidence for this dinner.

"It upsets me that you never have to wear spanx." Abby says as she assesses my outfit from her spot on my bed.

I turn around, "Abby, YOU never have to wear spanx either." Abby is obnoxiously tall and skinny and to top it off eats like you'd expect a pudgy fourteen year old boy to eat.

"Yeah, well it upsets me that I have to share that distinction with you. Why did I have to get paired with such a hot roommate freshman year and then actually end up liking her?"

I pick up a random shoe I tossed on the floor during my rampage and playfully throw it at her. "Oh shut up, you love me."

Abby blocks the shoe and laughs, "You're right, only because I'm hot too so I can deal with your hotness better than most."

I give her an exaggerated eye roll but I can't help but join her laughter.

"But I am truly jealous of your dark, gorgeous skin. I'm so over being pale."

I laugh harder, "You're a freak."

"So what are you going to do with your hair?"

"I was planning on just leaving it down and straight."

"No, no, no." Abby says, getting up off my bed and walking over to me. "The back of this dress looks too fabulous on you to cover it with your hair. Wait here."

She heads for the bathroom and I can hear her rummaging through my things and a moment later she comes back.

She starts working on my hair without telling me, typical Abby.

It only takes her a few moments and she's finished, she sprays my hair with a crap ton of hairspray and grabs the handheld mirror sitting on my dresser. "Have a look."

I peer into the mirror and my hair looks great, she's put it in a French twist but instead of tucking the hair all on top of my head she's gathered it to the side of my head so it falls out of the twist almost like its in a side ponytail.

"Oh my gosh I love it!" I exclaim, dropping the mirror to hug her.

"Yes, I am so talented." She teases, "But this is much better than your usual bun, it's still classy but adds some fun and plus shows off your gorgeous back."

Just then my phone rings and I know its Fitz.

"You better pick up, I bet your mysterious boss man is here."

I roll my eyes and pick up the phone.

"Hi."

"Hi." He responds and I can feel my face heating up.

"You here?"

"I am, I apologize, I would have come to your door but I got here and realized I didn't write down your apartment number and I have no idea which one is yours."

I laugh, "Don't worry about it, I'll be right down."

I hang up the phone and say goodbye to Abby and head down to find Fitz waiting outside a town car.

He looks like a GQ model in his suit, he always wears great suits to work but this one is like a step up. It's shiny but not in a tacky way, more of an 'Academy Award nominee' way, something classy and basic with just enough detail to make it look like it came straight out of George Clooney's closet.

He's reading something on his phone when he sees me walking down the staircase and he just freezes. I can't help but turn away from him and grin because that's exactly how I had hoped he would react.

"Livvy, I…you…I mean….you look…you are…you're stunning."

I feel my cheeks get hot and I'm very happy I'm not pale like Abby right now because I'm sure my cheeks would be a bright crimson red if I was.

He opens the door for me and helps me get into the car, pausing for a moment to stare at me before he shuts my door.

I can't help but let out a giggle as he shuts the door and makes his way to the other side of the car and gets in.

He's staring at me again, but this time I'm staring back.

It takes a minute for both of us to register that we're staring and I shock even myself when I hand Fitz the proposal binder.

"I remembered." I say, pulling it out of my purse and showing it to him.

He grins, "I knew I could count on you."

I smile back at him and then look down at my lap to work up the courage to say what I am thinking, "You look wonderful." I say quietly.

I can see him grinning at me even just out of the corner of my eye. "I guess I clean up all right, but you, Livvy I truly apologize if what I'm about to say seems out of line but, you look sensational. I mean truly, breathtakingly gorgeous, if you didn't work for me and this was the first night I had ever seen you, I would have immediately hit on you."

I want to be cool but I can't seem to stop myself from grinning like a goon. "So if that was the case, how would you hit on me?"

"You mean what kind of pick-up line would I use?"

I laugh, "Yeah, I want to know how Fitzgerald Grant would pick up a girl if he met her in a bar."

He purses his lips in an attempt to keep himself from grinning but it comes through anyway, "First of all, I would never pick up a girl in a bar. Unless of course that girl looked like you, and trust me, Livvy, there are very few women who look like you."

There's a lump in my throat when he says that and suddenly I'm kind of self-conscious.

"I don't think I would use a pick-up line, at least I would try not to but if I was hitting on a girl who looked like you in a bar I would just want to tell her how beautiful she was and she'd probably think that was cheesy because she probably gets told that on a daily basis. So I'd probably just ask to buy her a drink, I honestly don't know. I haven't picked up a girl in a bar in decades."

"You know girls can tell."

"Tell what?" He looks at me quizzically.

"We can tell, when a guy is tells us we're beautiful and he's being sincere, we know, at least a smart girl will know. So, if you're ever in that situation, just tell her she's beautiful. She'll know."

I'm staring unabashed at him now because for some reason I just can't look anywhere else.

He's staring back and he's not smiling anymore, he just says quietly, "I'll tell her she's beautiful then, because it's the clearest choice in the universe. She's dazzling; like the brightest star in the night sky has danced it's way to earth. There is not one thing about her that I don't find utterly mesmerizing and the man who she chooses to love is the luckiest man in the world."

And we continue to stare because we both know that this hypothetical 'her' is actually me and I'm not self-conscious anymore because no one has ever said anything that beautiful to me before in my entire life. I feel like I'm a character in an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel, which is funny considering his name is Fitzgerald, and that at any moment someone is going to start narrating our story.

The car comes to a halt and I can feel it as the driver shifts into park. Fitz must have noticed too because he turns to look out the window. The driver gets out and opens my door helping me out of the car and Fitz gets out on the other side. George's is a gorgeous restaurant in Palo Alto and I'm pretty excited to eat here.

I walk around to the other side of the car and Fitz meets me, he grabs my arm lightly above the elbow and he leads me into the restaurant. He lets the hostess know we have arrived but we will wait for the rest of our party in the bar.

We walk over to the bar, it's a little crowded but we find a spot and Fitz flags down the bartender. He seems like he's annoyed at all the customers but when he walks over and spots me his demeanor changes.

"Hey there gorgeous, what can I get for you?" His voice has changed into what I can only assume is his flirting voice.

"I'll take a dirty martini and what are you in the mood for tonight, babe?" I say as I place my hand over Fitz's wrist and lightly circle my thumb over his skin.

Fitz doesn't miss a beat and puts his other hand on top of mine and looks over at me with a smile, "How about a scotch on the rocks for me." He says, not even looking at the bartender.

"Coming right up." The bartender replies with a defeated sigh and walks away to make our drinks.

Fitz is still grinning at me when I remove my hand from his and avert my eyes, "Sorry, I just wasn't in the mood to get hit on."

Fitz is still just grinning at me which makes me start to laugh and shake my head at him.

He's about to say something to me when all of a sudden I hear, "Fitz!" And I scowl as he turns his head to look behind him and then turns to smile and wave at the man.

"Jack." He says enthusiastically as the man approaches him and gives him a hug.

I use the opportunity to size up this man, he looks like he's probably in his forties, nice salt and pepper hair, he's shorter than Fitz and slightly stockier, he's got a nice smile but his teeth are so white that it kind of freaks me out for a minute. I then notice there are two other men with him, both of them look like they're in their thirties and look decent enough.

"Jack Martin, I'd like for you to meet Olivia Pope."

I extend my hand and Jack looks over at me and pauses, taking a moment to look me over and making me feel a little creeped out. Fitz apparently notices and places a hand on the small of my back, which manages to comfort me slightly. Jack finally reaches out to shake my hand but is still staring at me, "Olivia, gorgeous name for a gorgeous woman. It's an absolute pleasure to meet you, where has Fitz been hiding you?"

Fitz gives Jack a halfhearted smile, "Actually Olivia only started working for me two months ago."

"Finally replaced Harrison?" Jack says with a laugh.

Fitz joins in his laughter, I assume it's some sort of joke between them, "Actually, Harrison is in New York for the week so Olivia got roped into being my backup."

"Well, lucky us then." Jack says, winking at Fitz. I try not to frown and I feel Fitz pulling me slightly closer to him.

"Oh, silly me, Fitz you remember Matt and Pete? Matt, Pete, this is Olivia Pope. Olivia, these are my VP's Matt Tully and Peter Gooden."

Thankfully the other two are polite and we chat for a moment before Fitz informs us that our table is ready. We head toward the hostess and I'm surprised when Fitz pulls me back.

"Livvy, if he makes you at all uncomfortable please don't hesitate to speak up. I did not bring you here for him to fawn over, I'm so sorry."

I just nod my head because I don't know what else to say and we head over to the table.

Thankfully I end up between Fitz and Matt and dinner goes well. Jack is a little inappropriate but Fitz cuts him off and changes the subject almost every time. We say goodbye and Jack kisses my hand, which makes me want to gag. Fitz and I get back into the car and I sink down into the seat, happy the night is over.

Fitz gets in on his side and does the same, "God, Livvy I'm so sorry. I had no idea he was going to act like that."

I turn to Fitz and smile, "Are you kidding? That was nothing compared to the crap I endure at bars and from guys my own age. I can handle a few comments from someone as harmless as he was."

Fitz shakes his head; "Still, it drives me crazy when men act like that."

I smile at him, "Yeah, well you're much more of a man than 99% of the men out there."

He's smiling at me and he grabs my hand lightly, I feel that same spark course through my body that I felt the first time we met. "You're fantastic, Livvy."

He lets go a moment later and I wish I had the courage to grab for his hand back because I really wish he hadn't let go.

We talk until we arrive at my apartment and Fitz of course gets out to open my door for me. He takes my hand and helps me out of the car and suddenly we are standing very close to each other. He leans in, taking me by surprise and kisses me on the cheek.

"Let me walk you up to your apartment?" He says.

I shake my head trying to gather my thoughts, I can't let him do that because if he walks me to my apartment I'm going to want to drag him into it and make out with him. "No, no it's all right. Really, I'm fine."

For a minute I'm sure he's going to protest but I think he senses that he has me slightly rattled so he nods his head, "Okay. Well, I am going to stay here and make sure you get into your apartment safely, but goodnight and thank you for coming with me, I had a lovely evening with you Ms. Pope."

I manage a normal smile, "That sounds like a good compromise and thank you, I had a good night and I appreciate the opportunity."

I start to walk away from Fitz, my cheeks feel hot and I can feel that longing between my legs I haven't felt in ages. This is not good.

All of a sudden Fitz calls my name, "Hey, Olivia Pope."

I stop and turn around to look at him.

"You're beautiful."

My cheeks are even hotter now and somehow I find the courage to respond, "So are you." I call out and turn around to head to my apartment without looking back. I do hear him laughing and I start to laugh myself.

I enter my apartment and fall backward against the door, I don't know what's going on but I do know that I have never been as attracted to anyone as I am to Fitzgerald Grant.

* * *

Oh hi….I'm Hazel and I'm obsessed with F. Scott Fitzgerald. A.k.a. I love cheesy romantic stuff. Sooo….expect a decent amount of that. And also, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please tell me what you think! And as always, THANK YOU for reading and reviewing!


	5. Chapter 5

"Was it the infinite sadness of her eyes that drew him or the mirror of himself that he found in the gorgeous clarity of her mind?"

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

* * *

"Hey Harrison." I say as I poke my head into the open door of his office.

"Hey, Liv!" He says brightly, motioning me in the door.

I take a seat in one of the plush leather armchairs across from his desk and I sink in, exhaling a deep breath I didn't know I was holding in.

"What's going on Ace?" Harrison asks, leaning back in his own chair.

I shrug, "Not much, Fitz was approving some of my edits when Martha announced that he had a phone call. He looked kind of angry about it and since I was finished with the edits and was just kind of sitting there I felt awkward staying in my office. I didn't want to eavesdrop on him."

Harrison's eyes narrow in confusion, "Did Martha say who was on the call?"

"Um, Mellie Ford? I think was the name she said."

Harrison makes a weird face and I laugh, "What the heck was that face for?"

He shakes his head, "Mellie Ford is his ex-wife."

I tense up in the chair, "Fitz was married?"

Harrison nods, "Yeah, they get along pretty well, mostly because they don't talk very often and they see each other even less. But she's been trying to get him to sponsor an event for her charity and she's driving him a little nuts."

I know I shouldn't pry but I can't help it, and Harrison is so easy to get information out of. "Was it a recent divorce?"

He shakes his head and laughs again, "No, no, they've been divorced for like ten years I think."

I ease up a little bit, that shouldn't make me feel better but it does. "Oh, I see. That makes sense, I saw him last Saturday night at Abby's gallery, he was on a double date."

Harrison continues to laugh and shakes his head, "Was he with two guys named Cyrus and James?"

I shoot him a confused look, "Yeah he was, why?"

Harrison grins, "James is constantly trying to set Fitz up. He hates it but he humors them."

I can't help myself as I lean in closer to Harrison's desk because now I'm really intrigued. "He doesn't like to date?"

"Not really, I've tried to set him up a few times and occasionally he'll date a woman for a couple months or so but other than that he doesn't really date. I don't know why, the man is constantly getting hit on when we go out and by gorgeous girls, and I mean _gorgeous_."

I nod my head and try not to make it look like I want to scream in frustration, I need to stop asking questions about Fitz now, I really shouldn't be getting this information from Harrison.

"That's strange," I say as casually as possible as I stand up, "well, I should probably get back in case he's off the phone."

Harrison nods, "Yeah, good idea. Have a good rest of the day." He says with a wink.

"Thanks Harrison, you too." I say with a smile as I move to exit his office.

"Oh Liv, wait!" Harrison says, jumping up from his desk and walking over to meet me in the doorway. "Fitz's birthday is October 6th, he's not really into birthdays so he won't tell you. We have cake at the office but that's about it. He doesn't expect cards but most of us get him one, I just thought I'd tell you in advance."

I nod my head, "Thanks Harrison, I'll get him a card."

He smiles at me and squeezes my shoulder, "You're doing a great job, Liv. Keep it up."

I smile and put my hand over his, giving it a small squeeze. "Thanks Harrison, I really appreciate all you've done for me."

He grins, "Anything for family."

I give him a small hug and then start to head back to my office.

I walk back and into my office and go to the door connecting my office with Fitz's and I press my ear up against it, I don't want to knock on the door unless he's off the phone.

All I hear is silence so I decide to knock on the door.

"Come in." I hear Fitz call out and I open the door.

"Sorry, I had to ask Harrison a couple things and I figured I'd do it while you were preoccupied."

Fitz smiles at me, "No, no I'm sorry, that was uh, that was my ex-wife. I didn't want to make you listen to that."

I sit down in one of the chairs across from his desk, "Are you okay?"

He gives me a small smile and he leans back in his chair. "Yeah, it's fine. I don't actually dislike her; honestly I'm pretty indifferent when it comes to her. She is on the board of a charity and wants us to coordinate an event for them pro-bono, which I'm completely fine with, she is just a very intense person and can be very difficult to deal with."

I nod my head, "I'm sorry."

Fitz shakes his head, "It's not your fault. And now I'm off the phone with her and I get to spend the rest of the afternoon with you, so my day is still a good one."

I can feel the blush creep up my cheeks and I am grinning wildly. "Um, I was thinking about a theme for the event for the civic center's anniversary. Since the first event they hosted was a touring production of The Lion King and the show they're hosting now is a touring company of The Book of Mormon, I thought it might be fun to give the event a sort of out of Africa theme. I think there are a lot of cool things we can do to make the event interesting and fun for both adults and kids. I went through the list of patrons the civic center sent us and a lot of them have kids. I think they might be able to bring in some more money and attract a bigger patronage if we make it more appealing to adults and kids. We could market it as a sort of theme night and they could make performance a key part of the event."

Fitz is grinning at me, "I love that idea, sort of a showcase of how they've come full circle but at the same time also giving patrons the ability to see how far they've come. Do you think you can write up a proposal and have Lauren do some mock-ups for advertisements?"

"Um, by myself? I mean, I can do that, of course."

"Wonderful, you'll do a great job."

"I uh, I actually came up with the idea when I was looking at that picture on your wall." I say, pointing to a gorgeous picture of two elephants against the backdrop of the setting sun. "I just love it, it's a beautiful shot and I just always find myself looking at it when I'm in here."

Fitz starts to laugh and I turn back to him and give him a confused look, "Sorry, its just, I actually took that picture myself."

I turn to him, "Are you serious?"

He nods his head, "For a year after I graduated from journalism school I worked as a photo journalist. It was just for this small independent paper in San Francisco but I spent eight of those months in Africa on assignment doing articles about the poverty, AIDS, and violence in Eastern Africa but I also got some great opportunities to experience the wildlife. I was mostly in Uganda, Tanzania, Rwanda, and Kenya but I spent time other places."

I'm sure I look ridiculous with my mouth hanging wide open but I'm just so surprised, I figured Fitz had come to work here immediately after graduate school.

"Why did you only work there for a year? You didn't like it?"

Fitz shakes his head, "No, I loved it. But my Dad passed away suddenly and since I have no siblings it was up to me to take over the family business."

"Oh my gosh, Fitz I'm so sorry." I feel bad my question was such a personal one, I didn't mean for it to be that way.

He shakes his head, "It was a long time ago. I got to do what I loved for a year and that was more than most get."

I must be staring at him in a funny way or something because he continues, "But I do enjoy this job, some days I even love it."

It's silent between us for a moment and it's making me anxious. "So um, did you enjoy your time in Africa?"

His beautiful grin reappears on his face, "I did, it's a gorgeous continent. Have you ever been?"

Now it's my turn to laugh, "Um, yeah a bunch of times actually. My Mom was born in South Africa, her parents grew up there, they moved to California when she was two. We still have family there."

Fitz nods his head, "Wow, that's awesome. Did you ever write about Africa?"

I shrug my shoulders and shift in my chair so that I am leaning on the armrest, my head resting in my hand. I nod my head, "I did, a lot actually. I lived there for six months after undergrad and worked for my uncle and while I was there I wrote a lot about the culture and about adjusting to life in a different country. After I got into grad school I applied for a scholarship and the work I submitted was everything I had written about living in Africa for those six months." I smile to myself, "I got the scholarship."

Fitz is smiling at me, "I'd love to read your work, if you're comfortable with that?"

"Um, yeah, I am. Actually, I have a website I post my work on. It makes it easier when someone needs to see my portfolio quickly, everything is archived on the website so I just have to send one quick link and they have all my best work. I can show you it, if you'd like?"

"Yeah, that would be great." He gets up out of his office chair and pulls it backward out of his desk, motioning for me to sit down.

I make my way over to the opposite side of his desk and sit down at his computer.

I sit down and Fitz pushes the chair close to the computer. I press my palms down to the keyboard and my fingers go to work, typing away into the web browser to bring up my website.

Fitz is leaning over me, one of his hands his on the back of the chair and the other is placed on the armrest. The hand on the armrest is so close to my elbow that I imagine I can feel a current of electricity between us, but that can't actually be happening, I must be hallucinating.

I pull up the website and Fitz leans down to get a better look. His head is so close to mine that I can barely breathe.

"Uh, so all my stuff is posted on this website. Everything is sorted by date but if you click the navigation link it sorts everything into categories. So if you want to read any of my pieces about Africa all you have to do is click on the link that says 'Africa' and it will come up with a list of all my pieces about Africa."

Fitz leans even closer to the computer screen and now his head is so close to mine that I've just stopped breathing altogether and I have to tell myself how to breath in order to actually be able to function.

"Wow, this is so great Livvy. I really look forward to reading your stuff. Thank you for showing it to me."

I get out of the chair, "Yeah, of course. Thanks for wanting to read it."

After work I find myself at Papyrus scouring the racks of cards for the perfect one to give Fitz. I am notorious for giving out funny cards; I don't usually like all the cheesy, sentimental ones so I always stick to the funny ones. But I don't want to get Fitz a funny one, I don't necessarily want to get him a sentimental one either, I just want to get him a nice one.

Finally I come across one that features a man in a suit standing on the back of an elephant and the elephant is on a tightrope. I open the card and on the inside it says, 'You make it look so easy…Happy birthday to a man who can walk the walk.'

I smile, I like this one and I think it works well for Fitz. Plus, one of the things I am most attracted to about him is the way he walks. I've never been attracted to a person's walk before, it never seemed like anything that a person would find attractive. But I could watch Fitz walk around all day; he has this sort of swagger, the kind that makes you just know he's an incredibly confident man. And that is so incredibly attractive.

I arrive back to my apartment and notice that Abby hasn't arrived home yet so I decide to be nice and get dinner ready. First though, I walk into my room and set my things down. I put my Longchamp bag on my desk and notice the little elephant figurines sitting there. I got them one summer from a local artist we met while camping in Mozambique. They are very pretty, one is purple and black and the other is blue and black and what I thought was so cool about them was that the patterns on each elephant perfectly mirrored the other. I bought both of them with the intention to give one to a friend or possibly Jake but for some reason I just couldn't part with them and they've just stayed with me. But right now I'm having a very strong urge to give one to Fitz.

The day of his birthday comes quickly and I decide I want to give him the elephant, I think he will appreciate it. I leave early for work so I can purposely arrive before him. I realize I am even there before his secretary Martha and so I walk into my office to set my things down and then walk into Fitz's office to put the card and elephant on his desk. I put it in a little box wrapped with simple brown paper. I turn to leave right when Fitz enters.

He looks a little surprised to see me but after a moment a big smile breaks out on his face. "Good morning, Liv." He says with a big smile.

I exhale deeply and respond, "Hi, Fitz, good morning and also happy birthday!"

He shakes his head and laughs; I know he knows that Harrison told me. "Thank you, I appreciate it."

I turn to point at the card and small box on his desk, "Sorry, I wasn't creeping around your office or anything I just wanted to put these on your desk before you arrived."

He looks over to what I am point at and his lips form into a small smile, "Liv, you really didn't have to get me anything. That was totally unnecessary."

"It's not much, it's just you've been so kind to me I wanted to get you a little something."

He walks around his desk and me and sets his things down so that he can pick up the card and box. "Can I open them now?"

I laugh, "Of course you can, it's your birthday."

He grins at me and picks up the card, opening it and smiling to himself as he reads it. He looks up at me, "Thank you, that was perfect."

My cheeks are getting warm and he reaches down for the small box. He slowly tears the paper off and opens the box. He sees the elephant and now his lips are pursed shut and now I am nervous that it was a mistake to give it to him. He holds the elephant in his hands, running his fingers over the hand-carved detailing and looking at it closely. Finally he looks up at me and his eyes are wide, he actually looks like he's having an emotional reaction to the elephant and it's making me a little nervous.

"Did you get this in Africa?" He asks quietly.

I nod my head, "Yeah, after I graduated last spring we went to South Africa to see my family and we took a camping trip through Mozambique. I got it from a local artist we met there, he carved and painted all of these fantastic wood animals and donated the money to a local orphanage so I bought a bunch of stuff. I actually have another one like it, I bought it as a present and I ended up not giving it to anyone and after I saw the elephant on your wall and we talked about Africa I figured it was something you would appreciate."

Now he's grinning at me, "I absolutely love it Livvy. Thank you so much."

He steps forward and pulls me in for a hug. His strong arms are gripping my body, one hand is resting on my upper ribcage and the other is resting on my waist. I put my arms around his body, resting them on his lower back. I want to pull myself in closer but I'm afraid that if I do it's going to elicit a longing I don't really want to unleash this early in the morning, especially not if I'm going to have to see Fitz for the rest of the day. That would be nothing but frustrating.

He releases me and I step back. "Thank you Livvy, this means a lot to me."

I smile at him and my brain has sort of stopped working from the feeling of his fantastic muscles and so I start to walk over to the door to my office, "I'm glad you like them, happy birthday Fitz." I manage a normal-ish smile and I walk back into my own office. I sink down in my chair and put my head in my hands. If only Fitz wasn't next door to me so I could scream my sexual frustration out, but sadly I can't because he would definitely hear and that would be extremely awkward. Fitz turned 43 today, that makes him 17 years and 8 months older than me, it's not _that_ much older. I mean, it's not like I even stand a chance with him anyway.

I sigh and shake my head, turning on my computer so I can get to work and hopefully get Fitz out of my head for at least a little while.

* * *

Wow guys, all of your comments have been so kind and encouraging. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you are taking the time to read my story and I am beyond thrilled that you are enjoying it so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! Again, previews for chapters will be posted through my tumblr and twitter so check them out! Thanks a million for reading!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	6. Chapter 6

"She smiled, a moving childish smile that was like all the lost youth in the world."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night

* * *

It's 10 AM and our day has been quiet so far, I've been drafting a couple press releases but other than that, it has been a relatively boring day. I know my boss is bored because I can hear him outside his office asking his secretary about how her oldest son is doing on his traveling soccer team. Not that he wouldn't do it otherwise, because he definitely would, Fitz is the kind of guy who knows all of his employees personally, he knows the names of their husbands, wives, and children and what they enjoy doing in their free time. He is always asking Martha about her kids and how they are doing in school because he actually does care, but I know he's bored because he's going into detail about soccer strategy with her. A few minutes later she gets a call and I hear him head back into his office to take it. Several minutes later the door between our offices opens slowly and Fitz pops his head in. He only just pops his head in or knocks when he's bored, when he's busy with something he just barges and either sits down or exuberantly motions me into his office.

"How are those press releases coming?" He asks, not coming any further into my office and instead waiting until I invite him in.

I turn to the door, "Almost done, just proof reading my last one and then they are all yours." I say giving him a small smile before looking back to my computer screen. "You can come in by the way." I add, grinning at my screen but not making eye contact with him because I know he's probably blushing, I like that he blushes, I like that I can make him blush, it adds this human quality to a man I'm pretty sure must be part god. He always blushes when I catch him doing silly things like checking gossip sites on his computer or catching up on television when things are slow.

He sits down in one of the leather armchairs in front of my desk and puts his right ankle on his left knee, his right arm leaning on the back of the chair, his palm supporting the side of his head. I continue to proofread but secretly glance at him as I do it. His curly hair has grown slightly since we first met three months ago, just enough so it curls a little bit more at the ends. I'm jealous of his right hand because it's touching his beautiful hair and right now I would just love to be that hand, I'm sure his hair feels as silky as it looks. And now I've completely stopped proofreading.

"You know I can multi-task." I say, still not looking up from the screen of my laptop, I know he wants to talk to me.

He laughs, "Is it that obvious that I'm bored?"

I smile but don't speak yet; I can feel his brilliant grin beating towards me like the sun.

I quickly finish the paragraph I am proofing and look up, "Yes, you are very obvious when you're bored. Most people enjoy the random boring moments at work but you can't handle them and so you wander and pop your head into people's offices." I say. I love to rib him and I love that he just shoots it right back.

"Hey, don't forget that I also check up on the Kardashians." He says, trying to be serious but failing miserably.

"Oh right, how are they doing this week?" I ask, sarcastically.

"Oh you know, still enjoying being famous for no reason at all." He says, shifting his body so he's now leaning backward with his arms crossed and his right ankle still resting on his left knee.

I shake my head at him and quickly finish proofreading my last press release.

"Done!" I say, hitting the print button and dramatically throwing my hands up in the air. He laughs at me and uncrosses his leg, putting it on the ground and leaning towards me and putting his elbows on his knees.

I grab the press releases from the printer and reach across my desk to hand them to him.

"Thank you." He says, giving them a quick look and then putting them down. "I'll give these to Martha to send out."

I give him a small look of confusion, "Aren't you going to proof them?" He always proofs my press releases.

"Nope, they're always perfect, I trust you." He says looking at me with a very serious but kind look on his face.

I'm kind of shocked. "Thank you." I stutter out. It really means a lot to me to learn that he trusts me.

He just smiles at me for a moment and then changes the topic, "I forgot, I actually do have something to talk to you about. GGC is in charge of publicity and coordination for an event in Santa Barbara in February called Quasar-Con, it seemed like something that was up your alley so I wanted to ask you if you were interesting in helping with it. It's a huge event and we have quite a few people working on it within the firm. I haven't been able to help the last few years but when I got the confirmation for the dates and found out I'd be able to go, I also thought it might be something you'd be interested in. You've been such an asset these past few months I figured we could work on something that you're interested in, that is if it is something you'd be interested in."

I'm literally in shock from what he has just told me. My mouth is hanging wide open and I'm too stunned to even be the slightest bit embarrassed. I've been to Quasar-Con eight times. It's honestly my favorite four days of every single year. Quasar-Con is this massive convention where all things geek convene; they have panels for everything from comic books to movies and television shows to workshops detailing comic book creations to costume competitions and so much more. I've gone every year I possibly could.

I've been sitting here staring at him like I've been petrified for a full five minutes but I just can't think of anything to say that isn't a squeal.

Fitz starts to laugh at me, "I take it you're interested." He bridges the silence; he's always doing that.

I nod my head vigorously, my eyes still wide like an animal caught in headlights, and try to find words that aren't a huge load of mumbo jumbo.

He stands up and steps forward to look more closely at me, his smile turning to one of slight concern. "Olivia?"

I just can't contain my excitement anymore; I jump up from my chair and practically leap over my desk to him. I can't contain my squeals of excitement anymore either, "Oh my gosh oh my gosh are you serious?" I exclaim as I throw myself at him and engulf him in a hug, my arms clutching him around his neck. I know this is inappropriate but right now I really don't care. Fitz has made my day-no let's be honest here-he has made my year! We've hugged before but it's always been friendly hugs in circumstances where a small hug is completely appropriate and if anyone walked in on this it might seem slightly inappropriate. Thankfully Fitz obviously doesn't care that this is an inappropriate gesture on my part and returns the hug, pulling me to him. I can hear him laughing in my ear. In my midst of squeals and repeating thank you over and over again my body realizes the close proximity it is in to Fitz. Our bodies are touching. My entire body is pressed up against my ridiculously good-looking boss. And oh, it's nice. I don't have to rely on the few times I touched him lightly during our other hugs to fuel my imagination of how wonderful his body is, because now I can really feel it. I'm really glad I opted against the black kitten heel Mary Janes I initially decided went best with my outfit today and switched them last minute for my favorite pair of five inch suede cobalt blue pumps because they make the gap in height between us a little less significant. Our thighs are touching, my bony hips are practically driving themselves against his lower pelvis and his hips are touching my stomach making it hard for me to breath, our chests are so close together I almost feel bonded to him, my head is in his neck and I'm realizing he smells even better up close, and my hands are clutching him around his muscular shoulders. And it's even better because his hands are wrapped around my waist, clutching the sides of my body and his head is in my mess of hair that can't seem to stay straight no matter how much product is in it and to top it off I can hear his gorgeous laugh right in my ear and his breath is hot on my neck.

I finally come back to earth and realize that I should probably let go of him, even though I really don't want to.

I finally let go of him and step back, giving him his personal space back that I so abruptly invaded.

"Thank you so much." I say once more. He smiles at me, "Absolutely, like I said, you've been such an asset the last three months that I wanted to give you a chance to do something you'd really enjoy."

"Thank you, seriously this is one of my absolute favorite things." I answer still trying to contain the excitement in my voice.

"Have you been before?" He asks, cocking his head in the adorable way he does when he's interested in something.

I can feel the blush creep up on my face; he's going to think I'm a total nerd when I tell him how many times I've been. "Actually, I've been eight times."

The look on his face is one of shock, "Holy crap eight times. That is…dedication."

I laugh, "If by dedication you mean crazy and obsessive."

He grins at me again, "Oh yeah, definitely. But that's great you shouldn't be embarrassed. You have more than one passion and that's pretty rare."

His words make me want to melt, why is he so nice to me? Even Jake, who knows the real reason why Quasar-Con is so important to me, thinks the number of times I've attended is ridiculous. Fitz has no idea why it's so important that I attend whenever I can and he's still more supportive than someone who was my boyfriend for six years.

He looks at his watch, "Well, it's almost 12, would you like to grab some lunch with me across the street? My treat, but you have to tell me all about how you became a Quasar-Con pro."

Internally I'm doing flips. GGC has a little deli company they hire to bring around food, mostly sandwiches, salads, and soups, that the employees can buy. They also have a great place to eat in the office. It's a nice little break room type area designed to look more inviting that your average office break room, plus it's got a great terrace that looks over the city of San Jose that you can eat out on when the weather is good. Unless Fitz has lunch with a client, he usually eats with his employees. We've only had lunch-that wasn't with a client-outside of the office one time, and that was my second day and Harrison was also there. But today he's offering to take just me to lunch because he wants to talk with _just me_. I can't help but be a little giddy about that.

"I would be happy to tell you all about how I'm a Quasar-Con pro, however I'm not sure you really want to know." I tease.

He laughs at me and walks back through the door connecting our offices, "Oh believe me, I really do. Meet me outside in three minutes." He says, holding up three fingers and closing the door between our offices as he disappears into his own.

I quickly grab my medium-sized Longchamp bag, double check that my sweater is in it, and walk out the door. It's only about 30 seconds later that Fitz walks out his door, informs Martha that we're going to lunch across the street and walks up to me.

"Ready?" He asks.

I nod my head, as he motions for me to lead the way.

We arrive at the little bistro across the street a few moments later and find a table outside. It's a lovely day out but it's slightly breezy so I'm glad I remembered my sweater. We place our orders and when the waitress walks away I pull the cardigan out of my bag and put it on.

Fitz looks at me like I'm nuts. "Seriously?" He asks, "I know its November but its 75 degrees, the weather is perfect, how are you cold?" He sounds almost baffled.

I roll my eyes at him; everyone is always making fun of me for being cold all the time.

"My family lived on the Marine Corps base in Bahrain from the time I was five until a little after I turned 10. Summer days there average about 95 degrees. I guess I just got used to it and never reverted back to a normal human being. I'm pretty much cold all the time unless it's at least 85 degrees." I say, shrugging my shoulders.

"I didn't know you lived in Bahrain. I have been to the base a few times but I was never there for more than a day, what was it like to live there?" He asks, seeming genuinely interested in my experience overseas as a Marine Corps brat.

"I really enjoyed it. My Dad was stationed there but spent a lot of time going back and forth between the carriers, destroyers and base camps so he was away a lot. He was a JAG attorney for most of my life so he didn't have typical deployments, he just went where he was needed and Bahrain was a more convenient base for interacting with the fleet. I liked it there; I became fascinated with the Middle East while there."

The waitress brings our lunches and we sit in comfortable silence for a moment before he asks another question, "Did you get to travel at all while you were there?"

"Yeah, a lot, apparently in the late 90's it was much safer to travel around there, at least that's what my Mom says, I'm not sure if I really want to know the truth."

He laughs at that statement, "So your Mom likes to travel?"

"LOVES it." I say, emphasizing the word loves. "She thought it was really important for us to learn about the culture while we were living there so she took us everywhere she possibly could, Qatar, Kuwait, Oman, the UAE, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Israel, Syria, Lebanon, Iraq, Afghanistan, India, Turkey. We spent a lot of time with our family in Africa too and traveled around there quite a bit. My Mom arranged a decent amount of correspondence school for us because she felt that if we had to live over there we needed to take advantage of the opportunities."

Fitz looks completely overwhelmed by what I've just told him.

"Christ." He says, in the three months I've known him I don't think I've ever seen him at a loss for words. "Were you sad to leave?" He finally says.

I shrug, "That's just life when you're a military brat." I say, not making eye contact with him as a play around with the french fries on my plate. "I didn't have to move around nearly as much as most military kids do."

"You were sad to leave." He says and it's not a question, it's a statement. And he's right, I was really sad to leave and thinking about it makes me nostalgic.

"Have you been back since?" He asks, looking at me but not touching his food.

"I've only been back to Bahrain once; about five years ago we visited some friends there. I've been to the area a few times since and we go back to Africa at least once a year to see my Mom's family."

"Is living there what made you decide to become a journalist?" He asks, still looking at me with this serious face that I cannot quite read.

"Yeah." I say with a smile, thinking back to the moment I decided I wanted to be a journalist. "When we left Bahrain we spent a month in Palos Verdes before we moved out to Okinawa and I got to play with my cousins for the first time in about two years and I was trying to explain to them all the cool things I got to experience and they just didn't get it. So that was when I decided that I wanted to be a journalist so I could write about different cultures and inform people who weren't so fortunate to be able to travel like I had. I just wanted to help inform people because the world felt so big to me and then I came back and the world to my cousins was just their house and neighborhood, they didn't understand how different things could be, what a tiny place in the world they actually occupied."

He's smiling at me now, a smile that if he gave to me while I was standing I would probably go weak in the knees from.

His phone beeps indicating he has a text message and breaks our moment. I assume its Martha telling him a client has called. We're done eating and I suppose it's time to go. He looks at his watch and then back at me.

"We should probably get back to the office." He stands up and puts several bills on the table, I'm 98% sure he's just tipped this waitress about 40%, and waits for me to grab my bag and stand up too.

I thank him for lunch and we start walking back to the office and after a moment of silence he surprises me a little bit by exclaiming, "You distracted me!" He says as he starts to laugh.

I look at him quizzically, "What are you talking about?" Because I honestly have no idea.

"I wanted to ask you about Quasar-Con but you are clearly too smart for me and distracted me with your sweater. Very sneaky, Miss Pope." He says.

I laugh, that wasn't my intention but I sure am glad he got distracted from the topic of Quasar-Con because most of the conversation surrounding that would be sure to prove extremely embarrassing for me.

"I'll get those stories out of you. I can be sneaky too." He says, winking at me and making me laugh harder.

We make our way back into the office and he turns to me before entering his, "Thanks for eating with me, Quasar girl." He says before he shuts the door and I enter my office as well. I shut the door and fall back against it. I exhale deeply and try to remind myself that it's just a crush and he's my boss and much older than me so nothing can happen. But I can't shake the feeling that it's not just a crush, that I'm really falling for him and that thought feels ridiculous because it can't be true, can it? I quickly shake off that feeling and straighten my skirt before heading back to my desk to finish my work for the day.

* * *

Yes, I made Olivia a "nerd" because John Green fans know what being a nerd _truly_ means :] Thanks for reading! I know this is a slow buildup but I really want Fitz and Olivia to get to know each other and I think Olivia needs to figure some stuff out before anything can happen between them. So thanks for reading! I hope you'll all stick with me because I know that I look forward to your comments every single day! Thanks so much!

P.S. I want to be a writer, like a real make-a-career-out-of-writing-novels-writer, and I was wondering if I posted some of my original works on fictionpress if anyone would want to read them? I'd love to get feedback on them and honestly it's just hard to show my friends and family certain writings that are really personal to me. Any takers? Just let me know! Thanks a million!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	7. Chapter 7

"You know I'm old in some ways—in others—well, I'm just a little girl. I like sunshine and pretty things and cheerfulness—and I dread responsibility."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side Of Paradise

* * *

I'm heading home for the first time since I moved up to San Jose. Fitz is apparently adamant about his employees having adequate time off for the holidays so its two days before Thanksgiving and I'm cruising down the Cabrillo Highway and feeling fantastic. Dad wanted me to fly and normally I would because there's almost nothing I love more than flying, but I wanted to grab a few more of my things from the house and there's no way I'd have enough room in my suitcase for them if I flew. Normally when I do drive I take the 101 all the way down to Palos Verdes because it's faster, but it's such a beautiful day that I can't resist Highway 1 and its incomparable view of the Pacific Ocean.

I cruise down the beautiful California coastline. Although I don't remember much of my early childhood in California, it's always felt more like home than any other place. I drive through my favorite city, Carmel, and daydream about owning a house there one day. I love how simple this drive is, practically all Highway 1 and the 101 all the way down the coast, and I've had this route memorized since I got my license. I drive through Big Sur, SLO, Santa Barbara, and consider staying on the 101 but instead I exit for the 1 and continue my coastal tour through gorgeous Malibu and the Pacific Palisades. I assume I'm going to hit traffic once I get to Santa Monica but I don't really mind, I finally pass LAX and now I'm in the home stretch. El Segundo, Manhattan, Hermosa, Redondo, and finally home, beautiful Palos Verdes, I pull into our gated community situated on the beautiful cliffs above the ocean. It's still a little strange coming home to this swanky neighborhood.

The first fifteen years of my life were spent on military bases. It was a great life in my opinion; I loved the feeling of community on the bases. I was fifteen when my Dad resigned his commission and we moved to a beautiful but normal sized house in Redondo Beach. My parents set up a basic law practice and they did well, but several large class action lawsuits changed that. All of a sudden my parents were in high demand and that demand elevated our lifestyle. I came back from my first year of college to an enormous new house in Palos Verdes and a brand new lifestyle that went with it. My parents were suddenly extremely successful and even though it changed our lifestyle it didn't really change them, my Dad will always be a Marine at heart and my Mom will always be the Innocence Project lawyer she started out as.

I punch the code to the gate and I drive up the hills to our house, which resides close to the top. Even though I haven't spent much time at this house, it does feel like home. I guess it's because when you're a military kid home is just where your family is, not necessarily a specific house or city.

I pull into the driveway and park behind the garage that used to be mine, it now houses a ridiculously unpractical sports car my Dad impulse bought six months ago, and I get out of the car. I enter the house and get pummeled by our two German Shepherds, Ruby and Ranger. I am on the floor because the dogs have knocked me over in their excitement, but I don't really mind, the best thing about dogs in my opinion is how unconditionally they love you even when you do things like not see them for four months like I have just done.

"Ruby, Ranger, off!" I hear the distinct sound of my Mom's voice, her South African accent is subtle but she hasn't lost it completely. She claps her hands and walks toward us, indicating to the dogs to calm down. Both Ruby and Ranger were former bomb sniffing dogs for the military and came to us when they were retired via a friend of my Dad's so they both listen extremely well.

I get up and brush myself off as Mom stands in front of me, laughing.

"Hey Mom." I say finally, smiling at her and walking into her open arms for a hug.

She squeezes me tightly, "Oh, Liv, I'm so happy to see you." She says as she continues to hug me with the ferocity of a mother bear.

I laugh and finally pull myself away from her, "Me too, Mom."

Her hand finds its way to my hair, "You cut off your red tips! I liked them." She says with a frown.

I laugh, all my friends were always jealous of how cool my mom was about things like dying my hair other colors and general rebellious teenage things, she actually encouraged the ones that weren't against the law.

"Sorry Mom, I didn't think it was professional."

"You're probably right, I still liked them though, but I'm glad you kept your hair long."

"Remember the chin length hair fiasco? Never again!"

We both laugh and Mom puts her arm around me and leads me into the kitchen where there is food all over the place.

I sit down at the island and Mom pours me a cup of hot cider. I breathe deeply and smell the aroma coming from the cup, it's glorious. I look around the kitchen, as strange as it is to live in this huge house, I really do love coming home to it. The house sits on the top of a hill overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The back of the house on this floor and the floor below it are both floor to ceiling windows and French doors so that you never miss the gorgeous view of the ocean. Since the house is on a hill we have a half basement, a rare thing for a California house, and the main floor is connected to a gorgeous deck that winds around the site of the house. The partial basement leads out to the infinity pool, pool house, and tennis court on the back side of the house. Our bedrooms are all upstairs and each has a little balcony that gives us all our own private views of the backyard and the ocean. I love my bedroom because it's on the corner of the house and there's a great trellis under it that makes it a piece of cake to sneak in and out of when I don't want my parents to know that I'm going out late.

"Where are Dad and Caroline?" I ask, finally realizing that my younger sister arrived home over the weekend and normally she would have found me and freaked out by now.

"Caroline is out with Danielle and your Dad will be home around seven, he's getting all his work sorted out today so the entire office can have tomorrow off. Victoria's plane arrives tomorrow afternoon, I don't know if she told you."

"Great." I say, taking another sip of my cider.

Victoria is my older sister; she is a year and a half older than me and works for a designer in San Francisco. Caroline is my younger sister, she is almost twenty-two and she attends college in Chicago, she's going to graduate this summer, which seems crazy to me. I get along with both of my sisters very well but Caroline and I are probably closer, we just have more similar interests with each other than Victoria.

"Are you going to see Jake?" Mom asks, her back is turned to me so I give her a giant eye roll. My parents absolutely love Jake and just can't understand why I don't want to settle down with him.

"Yeah, I need to break it off with him officially." I know I'm coming off a bit aloof but I don't really care.

Mom turns around and gives me one of her 'I just don't understand you' looks and sighs. "Olivia, you've been together for so long, it would be a shame to ruin what you two have just because you moved to another city."

Now it's my turn to sigh, "Mom, it's not that, I just don't think he's the person I'm meant to be with. Do you really want me to stay with someone I'm not in love with just because I've been with him for a while?"

"Honey, I just think that maybe you're confused. You used to be so in love with him, I think you're just afraid because you're so young and you think it's too early to settle down. But sweetie, twenty-five isn't that young."

I roll my eyes at her, "Mom, it's not that at all. I might have thought that maybe I was in love with him but now I know that wasn't love because I've grown and I've experienced enough to know that I can have loving feelings for him as a friend, but know that I'm not _in_ love with him."

Mom turns around briskly and stops what she's doing to stare at me for a minute, "Did you meet someone else?"

I can feel myself getting flustered even though I'm trying hard to hide it. "What? Mom, no, I just…I'm figuring out who I am on my own and I don't think the person I want to be includes Jake."

She stares at me for a minute more—she knows I'm lying. I'm holding my breath and silently praying that she doesn't say anything else.

Thankfully she turns back around and just sighs, she knows better than to get into this with me by now.

I choose this as prime opportunity to get my things and take them to my room.

"Mom, I'm going to go unpack my crap." I say, heading out of the kitchen before she can respond, Ruby and Ranger following close behind. I grab my bag and head up the stairs to my bedroom. I make it up and toss my things on the floor and throw myself on the bed, both dogs following my lead. The thing I've missed most about living at home is cuddling with the dogs, it's so comforting, also my king size bed, I _really_ miss that too. I bet Fitz has a king size bed…nope, I can't think about that. That is a place I absolutely cannot go.

I decide I need a nap, it was a long drive and I got up early. I open the French doors and let the warmth, sunshine, and fresh ocean air roll into my room and I drift off to sleep.

I had a nice time with my family the first night back, Dad, Mom, Caroline, and I ate and played games until late into the night. It's always nice to be with my family; hopefully I'll be able to get home a little more often from now on. I figured that I should just get talking to Jake over with so I asked him to meet me for coffee the next day. It's about ten am and I'm sitting quietly in Café 310 waiting for Jake to arrive and sipping a delicious soy latte, I just can't seem to find a place in San Jose that makes a latte quite as perfectly as Café 310.

I see Jake walk in the door and when he spots me his eyes light up and he starts to grin, power-walking his way over to me.

I stand up to hug him and he goes in to kiss me but I turn my head so he kisses my cheek instead of my lips. As he pulls away I notice his previous smile has fallen into a frown.

"I'm going to order." He says to me and then walks over to grab a drink.

When he comes back to me a few minutes later with his coffee his smile has returned to his face.

"Liv, you look gorgeous. I'm so happy you called me."

I force a smile, "Yeah, I'm sorry I haven't been returning your calls, I've been really busy and I just needed some time to think."

"That's okay, I get it Liv."

One thing that always drove me a little bonkers about Jake was how understanding he is. Sometimes I just wanted someone who would yell at me when I did something crappy but Jake never seemed to get angry.

"So, how have you been? How's work?"

"I..I really like it, obviously it's not exactly where I want to be but I am really enjoying it. I get to work with a bunch of really great people and I'm making a lot of connections. I think it's going to be a great place to be for a little while."

"That's so great, Liv. I am so happy for you."

"How about you, how's your job?"

"It's great, work is going well. Same as you, not exactly where I want to be but I like it enough and it's a great job for starting a career. I should only have to put in another year and I'll have enough experience to start applying for other jobs, jobs in San Jose…" He starts to trail off as if he's asking what I think about that without actually asking it.

"Do you really want to live in San Jose?"

"Well, I don't know, but I'd like to be around you and I know you want to stay in the bay area."

"Yeah, I want to stay up there but you shouldn't move there just for me, if you're going to move up there you should want to move there for yourself."

"But, you're up there, Liv, I want to be with you. I don't really care where we are, I just want things to get back to normal between us." He looks kind of desperate and I feel kind of bad for being about to break his heart but I know it's going to be worse if I let this go on for much longer.

"Jake, I…I think we should take a break. Maybe a permanent break." I cringe a little bit at my words; I definitely could have phrased that better. But honestly, how can you break up with someone you've been seeing for six years in a nice way? You can't, breakups suck, period.

"Olivia, you don't mean that." He sounds so hurt.

"I do, I'm sorry I do, it's just that I'm finally figuring out who I am and what I want and it's so different from what you want and I just…I just don't think we're meant to be."

He looks like he's about to cry and I don't know what else to say.

"No."

I'm kind of shocked at his response, "No?"

"No, Liv. I don't agree. I want whatever you want. I love you and I want to be with you no matter what I have to give up to do it."

I can't help but shake my head, "No, I could never make you do that. That's not what love is, if you give up things that you want for me sooner or later you're going to resent me and I don't want that. I want you to have everything you've worked so hard for Jake."

"Olivia, what I want is _you_."

"I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore."

I stand up to leave, and he gets up too and grabs my arm, "Liv, I know you don't mean this so I am going to wait for you. We can take a break but it's not going to be a permanent one. I know we're supposed to be together and I don't care how long I have to wait for you, I'll do it, you're worth it."

I can feel the tears in my own eyes now, "Please, don't. You're going to end up hating me and I don't want that."

"Liv, I could never hate you because this isn't the end of us, you always do this. You get scared and you panic but you always come back. I know we're going to end up together when you figure yourself out, I just know it."

I don't know what else to say to him, all I know is that I have to get out of here before he says anything else and so I quickly exit the building and practically run to my car.

I get in and burst out crying, I'm not crying because I'm sad about trying to end it with Jake—because I'm not. I'm crying because I'm so scared he's going to wait for me and end up hating me because he waits for me and then doesn't get me. Just because I'm not in love with him doesn't make me okay with losing him as a friend.

It takes me a little while but I manage to compose myself and I finally feel okay enough to drive away.

I can't bring myself to go home just yet, my eyes are still red and puffy and Mom will know exactly what just happened if she sees my face like this. I drive to the beach and get out of my car. The beach is my favorite place. It's the one characteristic every home I've ever known has shared and it's always where I go when I need to think. I find a secluded spot by the rocks and sit down.

I'm startled when I get a text on my phone but I'm pleasantly surprised that it is from Fitz. He wants to know where a file is in my office. I can't explain why, but instead of texting him back I decide to call him.

"Hi." He says in his sultry, sexy voice.

"Hi." I say back, trying to sound as calm and casual as possible.

"I'm sorry, Livvy, you didn't need to take time out of your vacation to call me."

"No, no it's no big deal, I'm just…I'm not busy at all. Um, the file is in the cabinet directly behind my chair, third row."

"Thanks so much Livvy, you are too good to me."

I'm glad he can't see me because I'm grinning like a maniac even through my tears.

"Why are you at the office anyway?" I ask him.

"I'm not flying out until later tonight so I thought I'd get some work done."

"I think you like your job too much." I say with a laugh.

"Some days." He responds and we fall into a comfortable silence.

"Livvy, are you okay?"

I'm frankly quite surprised that he can tell from the brief conversation we just had that I'm not okay.

"I…I'm…I…" I can't help but stutter as I try to come up with an excuse.

"Olivia Pope, don't lie to me."

I laugh but I still can't bring myself to say anything.

"We could talk about it if you want…or I could just stay on the phone, you don't have to talk. I can just…be here."

I can't help but smile again, "Can we do the latter? I don't think I'm ready to talk about it just yet."

"Of course."

We sit there in silence for a few moments, the sound of his breathing is oddly comforting and I can't help but wish that he were sitting here, staring out at the ocean with me.

"Fitz?" I ask, just making sure he's still there.

"Yeah, Livvy?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Livvy."

"Well, I should probably go. I hope you have a good holiday, Fitz."

"Same to you, I'll see you soon. Smile Olivia, you'll see me again in five days." He teases.

I burst out laughing, "Yes, that's what I'm upset about, you've hit it right on the nose as usual Fitz."

He's laughing too, he's such a dork but I enjoy it, it's comforting.

"Goodbye Fitz."

"Goodbye Olivia."

And with that I hang up the phone. I like that Fitz makes me feel so comfortable, but at the same time it scares me. Like maybe I'm reading into this more than I should and he's just being kind. I don't know, but it's getting harder and harder to hide the fact that I like him.

* * *

As always, thanks for reading! And don't forget to look me up on twitter and tumblr, I love to make new friends!

Oh, and I'll send you a PM if you expressed interest in my original writings once I decide what to post. Thanks so much!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	8. Chapter 8

"He smiled understandingly—much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced—or seemed to face—the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on _you_ with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

* * *

It's always been hard for me to go back to work or school after a break so this Monday morning I'm dragging my feet the entire time I get ready. I'm one of the last to arrive at work but I'm still on time, and I head into my office, drop my things, and sink into my chair. It's a little cold in the office, though I'm sure I am the only one who thinks that, so I keep my coat on until I can warm up.

A moment later there's a knock at my door, of course it's Fitz. "Come in." I say, still sort of curled up in my chair.

He walks in with a bright smile on his face and I feel better about being at work already.

"Livvy, hi."

I smile at him and sit up a little straighter in my chair, "Hi Fitz."

He plops down in one of the armchairs across from my desk, "So how was your holiday?"

I lean forward, elbows on my desk, "It was very nice. Typical crazy family dinner, my family and Harrison's, we always have Thanksgiving together."

"That sounds nice. You regret trading Southern California for Northern?" He asks, motioning toward my coat.

I laugh, "You would think that considering how I'm still sporting a winter coat, but I actually don't mind the cold, I mean most normal people wouldn't even consider 68 degrees cold."

Fitz laughs at me and shakes his head.

I'm feeling warmer now so I stand up to take my coat off. Today I am wearing a white bodycon dress with black accents down the sides and on the three quarter length sleeves. I have to admit I look really good in it, it shows off my slender body without showing a lot of skin.

As I take my coat off I can feel Fitz's eyes on me, they scan my body and then abruptly look away as if he's embarrassed but I can see them slowly make their way back to me out of the corner of my eye.

I smile to myself as I hang my coat up on the rack, I can feel his burning gaze in my backside.

I think I've actually made him nervous.

"So how was your holiday?" I ask him as I sit back down in my chair.

He adjusts himself rather awkwardly in the chair and then he speaks, "It was nice. I went up to Seattle to visit my cousin and her family. It was…loud." He says with a laugh. "Lots of small children running around."

I freeze for a minute, I never even thought about the fact that Fitz could have kids. Kids that could actually be closer to my age than to his, which would probably mean that we could never happen, like that's even a possibility anyway. But he would have mentioned if he had kids, wouldn't he? Or there would at least be pictures of them around the office, right?

It's almost like he reads my mind because the next thing he says is, "I enjoy being around them but never having had any kids of my own I can be a little clueless about certain things."

So he doesn't have any kids. That's interesting.

"I know what you mean, sort of, two of my cousins have kids and I am sort of clueless around them too. I really like them but I get so nervous sometimes. I mean, the only baby I've really ever been around is my younger sister Caroline and she's only four years younger than me so that really didn't help me much."

Before Fitz can respond again Martha buzzes my phone letting Fitz know he has a call. He thanks her quickly and gets up, sighing as he stands. "Well, I guess it's time for the real work to start again."

I smile at him and he walks back into his office.

The day goes by rather quickly and before I know it I'm home and getting ready for Abby to arrive by making Margaritas. She said she would be home around 9 and it's almost 9 now. I really need to talk to her about this Jake thing. Since I got back so late last night we didn't get a chance to delve into it and I really need some help figuring it out.

She walks in the door fifteen minutes later and I immediately pull the pitcher of margaritas out of the fridge.

She sees me and drops her things on the floor where she's standing. "Are we getting drunk? Awesome."

I laugh, "Long day?"

She grabs two margarita glasses from the cabinet and starts to pour. "You have no idea, artists can be so fucking frustrating. Am I frustrating? You'd let me know if I was a fucking pain in the ass, wouldn't you?"

I laugh, "Well, you can be a pain in the ass but that's okay, you're not unbearable."

Abby rolls her eyes at me, "Thank you, that was comforting."

I continue to laugh, "I didn't mean it in a bad way, I meant it in a way that you know what you want and you don't accept any less than the best from people. But you deserve that Abby, you're a amazing artist."

She smiles at me, "I think you're the love of my life Liv. Can we just marry each other?"

I pick up my margarita glass and put my other arm around her waist, leading us to the sofa in the den. "We would be a great couple, wouldn't we?"

We plop down on the couch and turn so we are sitting toward each other.

"We would be an amazing couple Liv! I mean think about it, we never fight, we're not afraid to call each other our on our shit, we are both neat freaks, and we've kissed before so that awkwardness is out of the way."

I throw my head back in laughter, "It would be perfect, except for the fact that we are both attracted to men."

Abby rests he elbow on the back of the sofa and props her head up, "Yeah, that fucking sucks doesn't it? Men are the worst."

I nod my head in agreement.

"Speaking of men who are the worst, how's your boyfriend?"

I groan, "I tried to break up with him."

Abby slams her margarita down on the coffee table, almost spilling it, and then starts jumping up and down on the sofa.

"YES, finally! Wait," she stops jumping, "hold on, you _tried_ to break up with him?"

I shake my head yes. "Yeah, I suggested a permanent break and he said no. So technically now we are on just a regular break I guess, which we were kind of already on, but he's convinced that I'm going to change my mind."

Abby picks her margarita back up, "Ugh that boy is too obsessed with you. So you are on a break though?"

"Yeah, he agreed to a break but for me this is permanent. I don't want to be with him anymore."

Abby grabs my hand and squeezes it, "That's good Liv, don't worry about him. You're moving on and that's okay. You are going to meet a guy who doesn't want to fix you and you are going to be happy together. Plus you're like way hotter than Jake is, I mean, he's good looking but you are gorgeous. You can definitely score a hotter guy."

I start to laugh, I can always count on Abby to stroke my ego, isn't that what friends are for?

"Hey, so you want to go back to that piano bar on Friday? I feel like karaoke."

I groan, "Ugh I wish I could but there's a book launch party on Friday night that we did all the PR for and Fitz invited me to go. Oh, but I bet Lauren and Savannah would want to go! You should text her, she really likes you."

"Liv, god why do you have to be good at your job?" Abby jokingly whines. "I will call Lauren, she and Savannah are so fun, I'm inviting Quinn too. Maybe if you get done early you can meet up with us?"

"Yes, definitely. Just let me know where you are."

Friday night has arrived and I am standing in a corner of the huge ballroom this party is in. It's been a good night and I've met a lot of very interesting people but I'm getting a little tired of women throwing themselves at Fitz. I shouldn't be angry, I have absolutely no claim to him, but it's frustrating to watch women who might actually have a chance with him.

I look around the room and notice a small sign on a door that indicates it opens to a staircase that leads to the roof. It also says not to use it, but I've never been very good at following rules like that.

I quietly sneak out of the party and find myself at the roof. It's a chilly night so I regret not grabbing my coat beforehand but at least I'm wearing a long sleeve dress and plus the fresh air feels too good. The view of San Jose is gorgeous from this tall rooftop, all the city lights are brilliant in the darkness and I can see the bay in the distance, the glow of the moon reflecting off the water.

I need to cool it with this Fitz crush. I can't be upset about other women flirting with him anymore, it's not like he even makes any indication he likes them but even if he did it's none of my business.

I just stand here, staring out at the city because I can't bring myself to go back downstairs.

"It's a shame we aren't further out of the city, this would be a wonderful view of the stars." A voice says from behind me.

I turn around and I see Fitz standing a few feet behind me, hands in his pockets, looking up at the sky.

"Fitz, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to disappear. This was so impolite of me, I'm so sorry."

I'm a little afraid Fitz is going to get mad at me but he doesn't, instead he just turns to me and grins. "You don't need to apologize. I understand those things can get a little boring."

"No, no it wasn't that, I just needed a little fresh air. How did you know I was up here?"

He takes a step toward me, "I had a hunch, plus I saw the door shutting and right after that you were nowhere to be found."

I can't contain my slight smile at the thought that he was looking for me but I still feel bad. "I'm sorry."

He walks forward and leans against the brick railing surrounding the rooftop just a few inches away from me.

"What's going on with you, Livvy?" He asks quietly, turning to look at me.

I shrug my shoulders and sigh, "I'm fine, really."

He laughs, "You can't fool me Ms. Pope."

I smile, "I'm just, I'm trying to figure so many things out right now. Have you ever been so sure you want something for such a long time and then one day all of a sudden you just don't want it anymore and frankly you aren't sure why you ever wanted it in the first place? I mean, why is figuring out what you want so damn hard? And does it get any easier?"

Fitz turns toward me and smiles, it's just a slight smile but it's comforting nonetheless, "My marriage was like that. I think you can convince yourself you want something because maybe it's what you know you should want but I think that sooner or later your real self breaks through and you realize you're unhappy, but it's a struggle. It's a struggle to know yourself and I think that knowing what you want stems from that. You have to really figure out who you are before you can know what you want. But I think that part of figuring out what you want means experiencing what you don't want, that's how you know. But I don't think that's your problem Livvy. In the past several months I have known you, you seem to know what you want more than almost anyone I've ever met. I think that deep down you know what you want and maybe you're just afraid to admit it. But that's okay, Livvy, it's okay to be scared. The key is to not let that fear consume you and prevent you from living your life."

His blue eyes are gleaming in the moonlight and all I want to do it stare into them for eternity. I take a deep breath, "I am afraid. I'm afraid to let myself want something, to acknowledge how deeply and profoundly I want something and then get my heart broken because it doesn't want me back."

Fitz reaches over and grabs my hand lightly, "Anything that doesn't want you back doesn't deserve you. I know that that's just a thing people say but I can't convey just how much I mean it, you are an incredible, extraordinary person and any man would be out of his mind not to want you. And even if you did have an awful personality, which you absolutely do not, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and even though I hate to give away the secrets of my gender, truth is that even then you could still land any guy you wanted."

I start to laugh, "I promise I won't tell that you're selling out your gender. And thank you, I hate to pull you into my personal crap."

Fitz continues to rub his thumb along my hand and it's oddly soothing.

"Well, what about you, you've helped me with a problem, can I help you? I don't think you need any help in the romance department considering those women fawning all over you downstairs." I say, rolling my eyes.

Fitz laughs and shakes his head, "I'm not interested in any of them."

"Yeah, why is that? I mean, there were a couple really beautiful girls down there."

Fitz laughs and looks down, "I don't want just a pretty face, I'd like someone I can talk to, someone who shares my interests, someone who continues to surprise me every day. And I just don't think it's fair to lead a woman on when I know right away it won't go anywhere. I'm not interested in sleeping around or dating someone just for the physical aspect, I want a real, emotional connection with someone."

"What if you don't find it? Do you think it's okay to settle?"

He sighs, "I won't settle, not again at least. I think the right person is out there, but I decided a while ago that I'm not going to look for her. She'll find me."

"Oh really? You're just going to wait for the universe to beam her down to your door?" I can't help but giggle.

He's grinning at me, "Something like that."

"How do you stay so positive? I mean, I thought divorce was supposed to make people jaded and angry?"

Fitz laughs at me again, "It did make me jaded and angry for a while but I got over it, I realized that wasn't making me happy and I owed it to myself to figure out what made me happy because being a miserable person wasn't working for anyone."

"You know you're deceptively smart, I didn't think someone with such a pretty face could actually have a brain behind it." I say as I turn toward him while still leaning against the railing.

He turns toward me too, "I could say the same thing about you."

He's looking into my eyes and all I want to do is lean forward and press my lips against his. I just want to know what they feel like, I just want to sink into him and let him know that he's right, I _do_ know exactly what I want. I want him.

I bet his lips are soft and I bet his tongue would feel warm and comforting in my mouth. I don't realize it at first but I've started to shiver.

Of course Fitz notices and being the gentleman that he is starts to take off his suit jacket to give to me.

"Oh no, Fitz, I'm fine, we can just head back down to the party." I say, taking a step backward and holding my hand up. I can't put his jacket on, it will smell like him and have all the warmth from his body and I will faint and be extremely embarrassed.

"Livvy, come on, we can stay up here, just take my jacket." He already has his jacket off and he grabs the hand I have protesting and pulls me toward him, making me laugh.

He drapes the jacket over my shoulders and leads me over to a bench near the door back to the party.

The jacket does smell like him, it's this wonderful mix of cologne and a smell that is distinctly Fitz.

We sit down on the bench and Fitz puts an arm around me. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself and I lean in so that my shoulder is pressed against his chest.

"Fitz, we can go back to the party, really." I say looking up at him.

He shakes his head, "I don't want to go back to the party. How about you and I get out of here and we grab a few drinks at the bar around the street?"

I smile, "Are you sure you want to do that? You were having a good time."

He squeezes my shoulder, "Well I'm having a better time just with you, so what do you say?"

I nod my head and we get up and head toward the exit. We grab my coat and escape the party without anyone noticing, Fitz's absence might be noticed but it doesn't seem like he cares. We make our way to a bar a few blocks away and grab a high top table in a corner. Fitz flags the waiter down and we order our drinks.

"I think we should play a game." I say, taking a big swig of the drink the waiter just set in front of me.

Fitz laughs, "What kind of game?"

"Slaps."

Fitz looks confused, "Um, slaps, what the heck is that? It does not sound fun."

"I don't know if it's really called that, but that's what my sisters and I always called it. It's where one person holds out their hands with palms facing up and the other person holds theirs palms facing down and then the person with the hands underneath tries to slap the other persons hands and if they get the slap, they win but if the person pulls their hands away in time, they win."

"Oh, I know what this is! I used to play this as a kid too." Fitz interrupts, "And it's called red hands you goon." He's grinning wildly at me.

"Okay, fine then Mr. know-it-all, I'm slapping your hands first." I say as I adjust myself in my chair so that I am facing directly toward Fitz and we can hold our hands out without interference from the table.

"Let's see what you've got, Pope." Fitz teases, a devilish twinkle in his eye.

We lock eyes and my hands are hovering under his. We are both laughing, I'm probably going to lose and he's probably going to tease me about it but I don't really care, it's worth it just to spend the extra time with him.

I try a fake-out but he doesn't even flinch. I need to try and distract him.

"Can I ask you why you joined the Navy?"

Fitz doesn't break eye contact but he does give me a goofy grin, he knows I'm trying to distract him but he goes along with it.

"I wanted to serve my country."

"You're lying, I mean, I'm sure that was part of your reason but I don't think that was your whole reason for joining." My hands are still hovering above his but they are starting to quiver just a little bit.

"I wanted to do something where everything wasn't just handed to me, I wanted to really earn something. I chose the Navy because I knew I could be a pilot if I joined and that was always a dream of mine."

It's then that I choose to try for my slap but as I suspected he is faster than me and pulls his hands away more quickly.

He's grinning at me, "Damn you." I say shaking my head, "But anyway, um, sorry I was actually interested in why you joined the Navy, it wasn't just a diversion."

He's still grinning at me, "I know."

My cheeks feel flushed so I take a swig of my drink and then look over toward him again, "Okay, your turn."

Fitz doesn't ask me any questions to distract me; he simply looks into my eyes and stares me down. I feel like he can see into my mind and read my thoughts. I don't think I am paying attention at all when he pulls his hands up with lightning precision and slaps my hands. I'm kind of in shock and it makes me unsteady on the high chair and I almost lose my balance but Fitz jumps up and catches me. One of his hands grabs my arm and the other grabs my hand, steadying me in my chair.

After I regain my balance he lets go of me and his hands release my arm and my hand and are now cupping my neck and one of his thumbs is tracing my jaw lightly. He looks me in the eyes and for a moment I can't breathe until the eerily serious look on his face turns back into a grin. "Just making sure I haven't been an irresponsible boss and gotten you too drunk."

He lets go and steps backward so he can sit back down in his chair. I can't speak at the moment and so I just take another sip of my drink and then look at my watch. It's already late and I've probably already missed the girls at the piano bar but honestly I don't mind. I've really enjoyed my night with Fitz; it's nice to get to know him outside the office.

"We should probably get going, I'm sorry it's so late, you probably had other plans. You know, if you ever don't want to go to one of these events with me please just say so."

I can't help myself when I reach my hand over and grab his wrist. "Fitz, I actually enjoy going to these things with you. You're pretty good company."

Fitz picks up my coat and helps me put it on as I stand up. "You're pretty good company too."

And with that we make our way out of the bar and for some reason I cannot stop smiling.

* * *

Hey guys! Thanks for reading! I just wanted to let you know that I won't be posting a chapter tomorrow, I have to work and I'm also going on a bike ride. I do however promise that chapter 9 will be here on Sunday! Thanks a million for being such cool people! Also, follow me on twitter because I want to talk to you guys! Find me hazelblye Thanks and have a good weekend!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	9. Chapter 9

"Youth is like having a big plate of candy. Sentimentalists think they want to be in the pure, simple state they were in before they ate the candy. They don't. They just want the fun of eating it all over again."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

* * *

The holidays come and go and before I know it it's December 31st and I'm sitting on a lounge chair next to the pool at my parents' house and the house is alive with lights and music and tons of people. My parents are in Palm Springs with Harrison's parents and they left the house to Caroline and me. Caroline is on break from school and three friends are visiting her, two of those friends happen to be guys and that really freaked my Dad out. So, he begged Abby and me to come and supervise Caroline and her friends by bribing us with money to throw a killer party.

Most of our friends from Pepperdine have stayed in the Los Angeles area—granted it's a very large area—so this has turned into a Pepperdine reunion, which of course meant I had to invite Jake. Originally it was only going to be me, Abby, and a few of our closest college friends but we ended up running into a bunch of them when we went to the Americana yesterday and therefore this has turned into a massive party. I didn't really want to invite Jake, but he's going to hear about it from someone and I didn't want to seem like a huge bitch.

I got a great dress for tonight, it's silver with sequins all over, it's very short and has long sleeves and an open back. I look really good in it, like really good. Abby also has a sequin dress but hers is navy blue with cap sleeves, an open back, and is short but flowy on the bottom with tulle underneath. Abby wanted us both to wear sequins since we're the hostesses. I groaned and griped while we were shopping but truthfully I couldn't ask for a better best friend than Abby and I love that she goes over the top on everything.

As I'm sitting chatting to a few friends I spot Jake for the first time. He looks really good; he's in a dark grey suit and has a light blue shirt on underneath that is open at the collar. He can't rock the look like Fitz can but he does look really good.

He is talking to a couple other people and I'm still watching him when Caroline runs over to me.

"Liv, Liv, did you spot your sort-of-boyfriend? He looks pretty fly for a white guy!" Caroline laughs and then runs away. I shake my head, she's totally drunk and I now understand why my Dad wanted me to come down and supervise her.

I lose sight of Jake after Caroline walks away so I just go back to talking to my friends again. But a few minutes later I feel a presence beside me and I turn around.

"Hey Liv." Jake says, smiling at me.

"Hey Jake." I say back, smiling up at him.

"Want to take a walk with me?"

I look over at the girls I'm chatting with and they seem to be doing fine without me so I nod my head and get up to follow him.

We make our way around the pool to a quiet corner and we sit down. It's a beautiful night out and you can see the stars and moon reflecting over the ocean. I lean back on the lounge chair and put my feet up.

Instead of sitting on the lounge chair next to me Jake has taken a seat on the same chair as me and after I lean back he also leans back, putting his legs up next to mine.

He laughs and I shoot him a confused look, "Those heels are insane."

I look down at the violet pumps Victoria gave me for Christmas, "Yeah they were a present from Victoria."

We are interrupted by Caroline's squeals from the opposite side of the pool as she makes a shot in beer pong.

I start to laugh and Jake joins in. "She seems like she's having a great time." He says.

"Yeah, my parents were so afraid that she'd trash the house that they bribed Abby and I to come down and took down all of our Kwanzaa decorations early so nothing happened to them while they're in Palm Springs."

"But they left the Christmas decorations up?"

"Yeah, those are cheap, most of the Kwanzaa decorations are actually from Africa so they care more about those."

He laughs again and looks down, "I miss you Liv."

I sigh and lay my head back on the lounge chair. "Jake, please don't do this right now. I just want to have a nice night."

He turns slightly toward me. "Okay, for tonight let's just forget about everything else. We can just be Liv and Jake, remember those two people?"

I shake my head at how ridiculous he sounds but I can't help but laugh anyway.

"Come on, Liv. Remember when we met freshman year? We used to take off in the middle of the night and fly down the PCH in your little car. You'd sit up and just let the wind blow your hair around and then we'd park at the beach and just sit there talking all night. Liv, we can still be those people, just because we're grown up doesn't mean we have to grow apart."

His hand reaches down between us and grabs mine, I tense up but that probably isn't Jake, I just don't like holding hands all that much.

"Jake, that was all great but after sophomore year….after Huck…I became a different person and I can't go back to the person I was before that. It's not that easy. I can't be the person you want me to be, you were great after everything that happened, you really helped me come back, you wanted to fix me but at some point you have to understand that it's not your job to fix me. And maybe…maybe I'm okay with the person I've become. So I got a little lost for a while, that doesn't mean I don't know what I want."

"Liv, I understand that, I can do that. I know you're okay, Liv, I think you're perfect." His other hand moves up to cup my face and he pulls his body closer to mine.

Our faces are less than an inch apart and he slowly leans in and kisses me. I just let it happen because well, truthfully it hasn't happened in a while and I'm hoping that it makes me feel better.

His lips are warm and his tongue seeks entrance to my mouth and suddenly I feel unbelievably uncomfortable. This feels wrong, it feels awkward and strange and I just, I don't want to be kissing him. But I can't exactly pull away and tell him that. He's going to want to know why after six years I suddenly don't like kissing him, how the hell am I supposed to explain that? I certainly can't tell him it's because I have feeling for my boss—that would be bad. His hand makes its way down my body and to the hem of my dress.

I grab his hand with my own and I stop him and jump up.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I'm sorry. I just can't do this, I'm so sorry."

I flee into the house and don't stop until I get to my room.

Abby must have seen me because a few minutes later she appears in my room.

She sees that I am crying and she sits down on my bed with me and brushes the tears from my face.

"What the hell did that bastard do? Tell me know Liv and I'm going to go down there and let him have it."

I shake my head, "He didn't do anything, I swear. We were having a nice conversation and then he started kissing me and I just freaked out because it felt wrong."

Abby strokes my hair, "Liv, that's okay. You are allowed to not want to be with him. He will find someone else eventually but you need to stop thinking that it's your job to make everything okay when it's just making you miserable. You have to be happy Liv, that's what's most important for you."

I smile at her, "Thanks Abs. I don't want you to have to ring in the New Year up here with just me so go back to the party."

Abby laughs, "You know I would rather be up here with you. I will however go downstairs because it is almost midnight and your Dad will kill us if Caroline does anything stupid. I'm going to wait until midnight, get Caroline and put her to bed, and then I am all yours. I think there's a few people crashing overnight, definitely Sarah, so I'll have her make sure everyone is out by 2."

"Thanks Abby." I say, smiling at her.

She gets up off the bed and blows me a kiss as she walks out of the room.

I lean back in my bed and decide to watch some tv. I turn on Netflix and decide to watch Clueless. I suddenly feel my phone vibrate and it's a text from Jake. It says, "I'm sorry Liv. I hope we can talk soon."

I decide not to text him back and instead just go back to the movie. A little later my phone vibrates again and I realize it is past midnight. This time however, the text is from Fitz. It's a generic mass text wishing all his employees a happy New Year. It makes me smile even though I know everyone got it and just as I am about to put my phone on again I receive another message. It's from Fitz again but this time it's just for me. "Livvy, I hope you're having a wonderful night and I hope it's not too forward of me to say that meeting you five months ago was the highlight of my year. I'm sure you're ringing in the New Year with style and I look forward to seeing you on Monday. Fitz."

I can't help but giggle at his message. I respond to him, "Fitz, Working with you and getting to know you has been the highlight of my year as well. See you Monday."

Almost immediately he responds back, "Stop texting your lame boss and have fun. Goodnight Olivia Pope."

I shake my head and laugh to myself; I'll send him just one thing back. "Goodnight Fitzgerald Grant."

* * *

This was actually a longer chapter but I just kept looking at it and felt like it needed to be split up because it just didn't flow well together...so sorry it's shorter than normal!

Anyway, thanks so much for reading and being patient with the progression of this story, I just want to really explore these characters. But TRUST me, something is going to happen between Fitz and Liv and it's going to happen SOON! And I'm REALLY excited about it!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	10. Chapter 10

"I never noticed the stars before. I always thought of them as great big diamonds that belonged to someone. Now they frighten me. They make me feel that it was all a dream, all my youth."  
'It was a dream,' said John quietly. 'Everybody's youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness.'  
'How pleasant then to be insane!'"

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Diamond As Big As The Ritz

* * *

On Monday it's business as usual. Except that Fitz has been a little grouchy all morning and he hasn't gotten back to me about a few edits so I reluctantly pop my head into his office to ask him what he thinks.

"Hey, Fitz, um, I was wondering what you wanted me to do with the edits? You haven't gotten back to me." He's sitting at his desk and he's furiously going through a stack of papers.

I'm a little shocked when he snaps at me, "Just deal with them Olivia, you should know what to do with your edits by now."

I'm so surprised by his tone with me that I can't even respond. I freeze for a moment and then go back into my office. I know he's stressed, he's been stressed before but he's never snapped at me, that's new.

It's after lunch the next time I see him. He knocks quietly at my door. "Livvy, is it all right if I come in?"

I look up from my desk and stare at the door for a moment, "Um, yeah that's fine."

He looks less stressed now and he walks into my office, hands in his pockets, and sits down in one of the armchairs in front of my desk.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier, I was frustrated and I took it out on you and I shouldn't have. I apologize."

I smile at him and put my pen down and lean back in my chair. "It's okay, you don't need to apologize. You're my boss and you're allowed to get frustrated and snap every once in a while."

"I know, but I don't like snapping at you. I don't really like snapping at anyone really, but least of all you because you are so intelligent and capable and I'd hate to make you think for even one minute that you're doing anything less than a fantastic job."

I cover my hand with my mouth to hide the grin that's forming on my face and give myself a moment to compose myself. "Fitz, don't apologize, really. It's okay. Just give me a minute to delete these tweets about my horrible boss."

Fitz looks confused for a moment but then notices my grin and realizes I'm just messing with him.

"You're messing with me! Olivia Pope, I'm shocked!"

I laugh, "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

He shakes his head, "Well you might want to check your e-mail. I've sent you the schedule for Quasar Con. You should be very excited, you're getting it before every other fan!"

"Oh my gosh, that's so awesome!" I say as I jump on my computer and open my e-mail and start to scour over the schedule.

"So, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to drive down with me?" Fitz asks, "We all just drive down since it's only in Santa Barbara. Also I don't know if you have any friends who are going but I've never really experienced this thing apart from being in the background so I thought it might be fun to tag along with you to the booths and the panels and all that, if you don't mind that is?"

I can't contain my smile, "Um, yeah that would be fine. None of my friends are coming with me this year but I do have a group of friends I meet up with every year. They're my Helio Space One friends."

"Helio Space One?" Fitz asks, looking confused.

"Uh, yeah it's this sci-fi television show set thousands of years in the future about this group of agents who are sent into space to protect earth from these invaders and also to search for alternative means to preserving earth because it's been so destroyed by past inhabitants."

Fitz nods his head, "Hmm, sounds interesting."

I laugh, "You don't have to pretend, I know it's a niche genre. I just discovered it at a time when I really needed something to draw me in and plus I really like the lead actress. She's kind of amazing, she's totally kickass but at the same time manage to convey vulnerability. You've probably heard of her, Sophia Beckett? She's been in a bunch of movies the last few years."

"Oh yeah, I know who you're talking about. She's gorgeous."

I roll my eyes, "Nice."

He laughs, "Hey I'm a guy, what else do you expect? I do think she's a good actress though."

"Well _that's_ good. Are you sure you want the full Quasar Con experience? I mean, I'm a pretty huge nerd. I dress up and everything."

"Well, now you have me sold. I will literally be looking forward to seeing you in a crazy costume nonstop for the next few weeks."

"Well, get excited, it's a pretty awesome costume. Not too crazy though."

"I'll still be looking forward to it. Well, I should get back to work, thanks Livvy."

I smile at him as he gets up and walks back into his office, "Anytime Fitz."

It's a little less than two weeks later and I came to work expecting no one to know about my birthday, but of course that was too much to hope for. Harrison of course told everyone about it and I've been bombarded with cards and balloons and such all day and there were even cupcakes from my favorite bakery. I'm not really a birthday person but this has been nice, it's always nice to know that people care about you.

After the cake I head back to my office and almost immediately I hear a knock on my door. "Hey birthday girl." Fitz says as he pops his head in my door.

"Hey Fitz, come in." I say, waving him into my office.

I see that he has a card and a small wrapped package in his hand and my heart starts to beat faster.

"So how does twenty-six feel?" He asks, taking a seat across from me.

I shrug, "About the same as twenty-five."

He laughs, "So I know it's not protocol here but I got you a little present, you got me such a thoughtful gift that I wanted to get you something thoughtful as well."

"Fitz, you didn't have to get me anything. I didn't get you a gift expecting to get something back, I mean it was barely a gift it was just something I had and I thought you'd like."

He puts the package and the card on my desk and slides them toward me. "I know, and I loved it and I know you didn't expect anything back but I wanted to get you something."

I reach for the card and the package and pick up the card first. I look down and I see that Fitz has written my name on the front. Most guys have terrible writing but not Fitz, he has the loveliest writing without it looking like a girls writing. It's lovely but it's also masculine and the way he writes 'Livvy' is kind of beautiful. Like, I might just have to save this envelope and pin it on my bulletin board beautiful.

I open the envelope and pull the card out. It's a cute card with a little mouse, a birthday cake, and the words "Just for you" on the front and on the inside it reads "Make all your wishes come true. Happy Birthday."

"Thanks Fitz, it's adorable."

He looks relieved, "That's good. I'm terrible at picking out cards."

I then set the card on my desk and pick up the present. It's a wide package but it's fairly thin and it's wrapped in this gorgeous chevron paper that's white and Tiffany blue.

I open up the package to find an 8 x 10 picture frame. I turn over the frame and I can't help but gasp. Inside the frame is a hand painted picture of a starry sky and over the sky in whites, pale pinks, and light blues is a quote that reads, "You are so busy being YOU that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are." The quote is from one of my favorite books, The Fault In Our Stars, and I'm shocked Fitz even knew I liked the book.

"How…how did you know I love this book?" I ask quietly.

Fitz flashes me a shy smile and looks down at the floor, "I overheard you talking to Lauren about how much you love it a few weeks ago. I found this and I thought you'd like it, plus the quote just seemed like something that suited you."

I'm grinning like a maniac, "Fitz I…I don't know what to say. This is absolutely gorgeous. Thank you so much."

I get up out of my chair and walk around him to give him a hug.

He obviously knows what I'm doing and he gets up too. I fold my arms around his neck and pull myself into him. His arms wrap around my middle and our bodies are pressed against each other. I'm enjoying his wonderful smell and he seems to be doing the same because his head is practically buried in my hair.

After a moment we both pull back, "Thank you Fitz, truly. This is beautiful."

He smiles and walks toward the door to his office, "I'm glad you like it, Happy Birthday Livvy." And with that he disappears into his office.

I sit down in my chair and I sink back, grabbing the picture so I can take a closer look at it. I decide to take it out of the frame so that I can really see it.

I pop the picture out of the frame and I notice that it's on a small piece of canvas. I wonder where Fitz got it. Etsy maybe? It's really beautiful. That's when I notice the tiniest set of initials in the bottom right corner. I couldn't see them before because they were hidden by the edge of the frame and even though they're tiny I can definitely tell that they read "FG". Fitzgerald Grant. Did Fitz actually make this for me?

My mouth is agape and I can't seem to shut it. I can't seem to breathe either. Did Fitz actually make this for me? That would mean he had to have either looked up quotes from The Fault In Our Stars or actually read the book and then taken the time to paint this for me. I start to giggle like a schoolgirl when I think about that, Fitz may have actually painted me something. That just sounds ridiculous! He's a gorgeous forty-three year old man, he's extremely interesting and has a lot on his plate, there's no way he could have taken the time to sit down and make this for me. But even as I think it, I know that's not true. These are his initials; he definitely painted this for me. Could Fitz actually like me too?

Later that night Lauren, Savannah, and Quinn are all over at Abby and my apartment because Abby has made a birthday dinner. She actually did a really good job with everything and I am completely stuffed. I leaned the frame against the mantle in the den and Lauren sees it when we make our way in there after dinner.

"Oh, Fitz gave it to you! Do you like it?" She asks.

I give her a confused look, "How did you know that was from Fitz."

She laughs as she takes a seat on the sofa. "He came into my office last week and showed it to me. He wanted to know if I thought you would like it. I told him that was your favorite book and you would absolutely love it. He was pretty nervous about it. He was also freaking out because he couldn't wrap it so I did it for him. It was kind of adorable."

Quinn is in the bathroom and Savannah and Abby are still in the kitchen getting another round of drinks but Lauren still lowers her voice, "Liv, is something going on between you two?"

I'm sure I look nervous because my palms have started to sweat, "What? No! He's…I mean…Fitz is very….he's very good looking but that would be inappropriate. Plus he's not interested in me. He was just being nice."

Lauren's eyes are now wide with doubt, "Liv, I believe you when you say nothing is going on with you two but a man doesn't spend that much time on a present for his assistant when she's_ just_ his assistant. I mean, he painted that thing himself!"

"How did you know that?"

Lauren rolls her eyes, "He has an art degree, painting and photography are kind of his hobbies. It wasn't that hard to deduce."

I stop pacing and sit down next to her. "I don't know what to do. Lauren, you can't tell anyone this but…I think I like him. I have been trying to convince myself it's just a crush for months but I don't think it's just that. I might actually like him."

Lauren smiles, "I promise, I won't tell anyone about this, you can trust me Liv. And I know it may not be the best advice to give you, considering the circumstances, but I think he likes you too and I think that if you really, truly like him then maybe you should just go for it? The worst he can do is say no and if he does you can forget about it and move on."

"Lauren, he's almost eighteen years older than me, that's a big age difference."

Lauren laughs, "Age? That's what you're worried about? Liv, that's ridiculous! Age is just a number. And remember, guys mature way slower than girls. Plus you're incredibly mature. You guys are probably same inner age anyway."

Just then Quinn comes out of the bathroom and Abby and Savannah come back into the room.

"Thank you." I mouth to Lauren over the chatter.

She grins at me and mouths back, "Any time."

Maybe I should make a move with Fitz. Lauren is right, it may not be the best idea I've ever had but even if it turns out terribly it's a mistake I should make. I like Fitz, I really like him and I owe it to myself to find out if he likes me back enough to give it a go.

* * *

Hey guys! You're getting this early because I'm going to dinner with a friend and then I have Jiu Jitsu and I don't want to come home too exhausted and forget to post it, I'd absolutely hate to let you all down because you have all been so wonderful. So thanks a million for reading & let me know what you think of the chapter! I'm getting REALLY excited as I write because stuff is starting to _happen_! (wink wink)

OH, and I've already posted the preview of chapter 11! You can find the link on my twitter (at sign) hazelblye and please follow me and maybe send me a tweet! I love to hear from new friends!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	11. Chapter 11

"You know, you're a little complicated after all."  
"Oh no," she assured him hastily. "No, I'm not really – I'm just a – I'm just a whole lot of different simple people."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night

* * *

Fitz and I are cruising down the PCH on our way to Santa Barbara in his sleek Mercedes SL63. It would be nice to have the convertible top down but it's a windy day and that would probably make it unbearable. Fitz, the gentleman that he is, offered to let me pick the music so my ipod has been plugged into the stereo since he picked me up this morning.

He's been making fun of me the whole trip for the compilation of music that's playing. He expected new music and could not stop laughing when the first song I chose was a Paul McCartney song. This playlist is full of Paul McCartney, The Beatles, The Kinks, Peter Gabriel, Prince, Television, Talking Heads, and other older stuff.

Fitz looks over at me, shocked when a Dead Boys song pops up in the rotation. "Are you serious? You're a Dead Boys fan?"

I give him a teasing smile, "Why is that so shocking?"

Fitz shrugs his shoulders, "Honestly because I don't know anyone under the age of forty who even knows who the Dead Boys are."

I laugh, "Truthfully, I'm kind of shocked that _you_ know who the Dead Boys are!"

"Ouch!" Fitz feigns offense. "I don't look like the kind of guy who enjoys punk rock?"

I can't stop laughing as I shake my head.

"I'll have you know Ms. Pope that I have actually been to CBGB."

My eyes grow wide and my mouth drops open, "Are you serious?"

He nods his head, "Before I graduated high school my Dad took me to New York and he knew how badly I wanted to go, even though I wasn't old enough, and so he pulled some strings and got me in."

I am still in total shock, and completely jealous. "So who did you see?"

He's grinning now and I get the feeling that I'm going to be even more jealous when he answers.

"I saw Lou Reed, Debbie Harry, and Dee Dee Ramone."

I fall back in my chair and cover my face with my hands, "Oh my god. I'm so jealous of your right now! Why couldn't I have been born twenty years earlier?"

Fitz is still laughing at me when I finally sit up straight in my chair.

"So, how did a young Fitzgerald Grant become interested in punk rock?"

Fitz shrugs, "It was cool back then, everyone liked punk. Even my Dad actually enjoyed some of it. What I want to know is how did a young Olivia Pope become interested in punk rock?"

I laugh, "Rebellious youth I guess? I don't know, I enjoyed growing up on military bases but at the same time I felt a little confined, especially in Okinawa, and when I was twelve I found a Patti Smith record in a box of my Mom's old stuff and it just kind of became an obsession. Every time we went back to the states I'd go to this old record store and I would just buy anything from the '60's, '70's, and '80's. It just felt like a way to express myself."

"So you're an aspiring journalist with a love for science fiction, comic books, old school rock n' roll and new wave punk. Olivia Pope…you are a constant surprise."

I smile to myself and think about what he said to me at the book launch party before Christmas about how he wanted a girl who continued to surprise him. Maybe Lauren is right; maybe he is interested in me.

At around 10 am we arrive at the convention center. The convention doesn't actually open until 12 but Fitz has promised me a tour before it opens and I am unbelievably excited. I also need to put my costume on.

We park in a VIP parking lot and we walk in the building, thankfully there is a bathroom just as we walk in so I tell Fitz I'll be right back.

I open my bag and pull out my costume. I always dress up as Lt. Rory Roberts. She's the main character on Helio Space One and she's my idol. She wears outrageously tall, knee high platform boots, black leggings with light blue stripes down the sides, a simple black tank top, and a black jacket with light blue shoulders, the Helio Space One symbol on the lapel, and her insignia on her shoulders.

When I woke up this morning I already braided the front of my hair into a small French braid at the front and now I pull it all back into a ponytail so I can look just like Lt. Rory.

I walk out of the bathroom and Fitz is still waiting for me. "Oh my god, you look amazing. I need to take a picture of you."

He pulls out his phone and I give him a small smile as he snaps a picture of me.

"God, you look just like her. Your costume is perfect."

I furrow my brow, shooting him a confused look, "How do you know that? Oh my god, did you watch it?"

Fitz blushes a little bit; I think he's embarrassed! "I may have watched a few episodes."

"Oh my god, Fitz. You're so cute."

He gives me an odd look and now my face is burning up because that just slipped out and I should not have said it.

Thankfully he doesn't comment and we just walk into the convention area. We walk through the doors and there's a man waiting on the other side that I recognize, it's that guy Cyrus I met at the gallery a few months ago.

"Cyrus. Great to see you!" Fitz says as he gives Cyrus a hug.

"Cy, you remember my assistant Olivia Pope?"

Cyrus looks at me, "Of course I do, Olivia it's an absolute pleasure to see you again." He says with a grin as he shakes my hand.

"Cyrus is kind of like you, this is his secret obsession."

Cyrus laughs, "Guilty as charged. Olivia, Fitz sent me that link to your portfolio site and I have to say, it's absolutely fantastic. Your writing is beautiful. You are at the top of my list, as soon as I have an opening on my staff I am going to steal you away from this guy."

I'm a little surprised, "I'm sorry, an opening on your staff, what do you do?"

Cyrus looks over at Fitz, "You didn't tell her?"

Fitz shakes his head, "Not yet, I was going to wait until you were sure you were going to have an opening."

Now I'm just completely confused, what the heck are these two talking about?

Cyrus turns back to me, "I am the editor-in-chief for the Pacific Times."

Suddenly I can't breathe. The Pacific Times is the biggest paper on the West Coast. Getting a job there would be a minor miracle. I didn't even apply for a job there when I sent out all my post-graduate school resumes because I wanted to wait until I had a couple years of experience so they wouldn't laugh at me and just toss my resume in the garbage.

Cyrus and Fitz are now both laughing at me.

I'm sure I look ridiculous, my brain is running all over the place and my mouth is hanging open like a dog while I try to form a coherent sentence.

I finally manage to get my brain back on track, "Oh my gosh, wow…just wow! I'm so honored that you like my work, truly its just such a pleasure to even know you took the time to read it."

Cyrus reaches into his pocket and hands me a business card. "I don't get openings often but when I do I'll give you a call. In the meantime occasionally we take pieces from independent writers so if you ever write a good opinion piece or something on a hot subject give me a call and I'd love to use it in the paper."

"Thank you so much, really this is just, this is incredible."

"You should thank Fitz, without him I don't know if I would have gotten the opportunity to see your work."

I look over at Fitz and notice that he's got a shy smile on his face as if he didn't know how I would react to this encounter.

"Fitz, thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve this so thank you, truly."

Fitz reaches out and squeezes my shoulder, "As great of an assistant as you are, I can't be selfish and keep you forever."

I look up into his eyes; I'd like to respond, 'Well, you could if you wanted to.' But I can't say that.

Cyrus claps his hands together bringing me out of my daze, "Okay, lets get this tour started!"

"If you don't mind me asking," I say to Cyrus, "How did you get involved in Quasar Con?"

Cyrus laughs, "I used to volunteer here when I was younger and I got lucky and met the right people. I love working at the Pacific Times but this is sort of a guilty pleasure of mine."

"That is so cool." I say, looking around at all the booths.

"Well, when I give you a job remind me that you're a nerd too and I'll try to give you the event coverage. I like it when I see someone else who actually enjoys this stuff, sometimes I have to make the writers do the coverage. I never understood people who didn't like comics."

I laugh, "I totally agree with you."

Cyrus gives us an amazing tour of the facility and soon enough, Quasar Con is underway. I drag Fitz around with me to a few booths and a few panels and he actually seems like he's having a good time. I keep asking him if there's anything he wants to see but he keeps replying that he'll enjoy anything I enjoy.

Fitz is kind of a charmer; I'd realized it before but never so much as now. I mean, it takes a lot of patience to attend one of these things if it's not exactly the kind of place you'd go to on your own but Fitz is being so kind and really seems to be putting an effort into not just following me around but actually acting interested in what is going on.

Guys don't do this unless they like you, right? I mean sure if they enjoy comic books and science fiction they would. I sigh as I think about Huck, he was the only friend I ever had who actually wanted to come to these with me and enjoyed it as much as I did. Jake came once with me when we were seniors in college but he didn't enjoy it and he didn't even make an effort to act like he enjoyed it. Instead he kept looking at his watch the whole time and made me enjoy it less because of his bad attitude. That was the first and last Quasar Con I will ever take him to, for more reasons than just the way he acted.

The first day ends much too quickly and we go back to the hotel and check in for the weekend. Fitz walks me to my room; his is across the hall and only three doors down from mine.

We say goodnight and as he turns to leave I grab for his hand. "Fitz, wait."

He stops and turns around, "Thank you again for what you did for me, with Cyrus. I just, I can't even find the words to express how truly grateful I am that you would do that for me."

Fitz squeezes my hand, "It's your work, you earned it with your talent. I'm just the messenger, no thanks needed Livvy, you are incredibly talented and you deserve a shot to do what makes you happiest."

I don't even know what to say, all I want to do right now is kiss him even though I know I shouldn't. I can't. It would be so inappropriate.

Thankfully he lets go of my hand and walks toward his room, looking back once to give me a small smile and say, "Goodnight Livvy."

"Goodnight Fitz." I whisper back and I walk into my room.

The next morning I wake up earlier than necessary because I am so incredibly excited. Today is the Helio Space One panel and I'm meeting up with a few of my friends beforehand.

I'm ready, dressed in my Lt. Rory costume, and at Fitz's door about ten minutes early but I knock anyway.

Fitz answers the door and he looks almost ready except for his hair, it's still disheveled and honestly it looks really sexy. I have to grab ahold of the door to steady myself on these silly platform boots.

"Good morning Livvy." He says with a smile. "Come on in, I just need to brush my hair and then we can head out."

"Thanks Fitz, sorry I'm early I'm just really excited."

He laughs, "I bet, Helio Space One panel afterward."

I nod my head and try hard to stay cool but it's getting hard to contain my excitement.

When Fitz is finished we grab a quick to-go breakfast from the hotel and head over to the convention center. Our morning is spent walking around and checking out more booths and we go to a Q & A on a new movie that's coming out.

Later in the afternoon I meet up with my friends and Fitz heads off to go figure something out with Cyrus. It's nice to see all my Quasar Con friends again and we catch up before the panel. Fitz finds me right before it begins and we sit through the panel together.

After it's over I start to get up and Fitz grabs my arm. "Just wait here for a little bit. Trust me."

I look over at him, slightly confused, but I do trust him so I sit back down. I say goodbye to all my friends and we promise to meet up again tomorrow and soon enough the auditorium is empty and a man walks out from behind the stage area and walks over to us.

"Fitz Grant?" He asks and Fitz nods his head and flashes his ID badge.

"Okay, come with me."

I am one hundred percent confused but I follow Fitz and this man as he takes us behind the stage.

I could cry when I walk through the door and I see Sophia Beckett and the cast of Helio Space One standing around chatting with each other.

Sophia Beckett is the first one to notice us and she walks over to us with a huge grin on her face, "You must be Olivia? It's so nice to meet you." And she doesn't go in for a handshake; she goes right for a hug. Sophia Beckett is hugging me and I'm trying really hard to be cool and not freak out.

She pulls back and looks me up and down, "Your costume is amazing, guys come here, is her costume not amazing?"

The rest of the cast has been shaking Fitz's hand while Sophia has been hugging me and they all look me up and down.

Javier Vega, Lt. Tony Cruz himself, is the first to comment, "Yeah, wow that's amazing, did you make that."

I open my mouth and pray that words come out, "Um, yeah I just got a regular black jacket and regular leggings and I added the blue and the insignia myself."

"Damn, that's awesome." Javier says and raises his hand to high five me.

On the inside I'm giggling like a lunatic, Lt. Tony just high-fived me, I could die I'm so happy!

Sophia shakes Fitz's hand and introduces herself before focusing her attention back on me. "So Cyrus Beene tells me you're like our biggest fan?"

I can feel my cheeks getting hot, "Yeah, I've been a fan since your show started."

Sophia hooks her arm around my elbow, "Tell me everything." She says.

We start to walk to the other side of the room and I do tell her everything, I tell her about growing up on military bases and about going to college and I tell her about Huck and how I found the show.

"Wow, Olivia, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that our show helped you through so much. Truly, that's one of the reasons why I do this. I wasn't even looking to do a television show when this script came to me but I read it and I just fell in love with Lt. Rory and I loved how the show portrayed this strong African-American woman, it truly is a blessing every time someone comes to me and tells me how this show helped them through a tough time or made them realize they didn't have to sacrifice their emotions in order to be a strong woman."

I give her another hug. "Thank you so much, I will truly treasure this for the rest of my life."

"It was wonderful to meet you Olivia."

I chat with the rest of the cast for a while and Fitz offers to take pictures of me with everyone. Then we say our goodbyes and we walk out of the convention center.

The minute we leave the auditorium I throw myself at Fitz, my arms encircling his neck and I can't help the happy tears running down my face.

I can feel him smiling in the crook of my neck and his arms feel warm and comforting against my torso but he doesn't say anything. After a few moments I reluctantly pull away.

"I can't believe you did that for me." I say, I can't help but stare into his beautiful blue eyes, the tears still running down my own face.

"It was nothing, I was happy to do it."

I shake my head, "It wasn't nothing. It meant the world to me. I don't think anyone has ever done anything like that for me. I am forever in your debt Fitz."

I turn away to start walking and he grabs my hand, "You are not in my debt at all, I did all this because I think you deserve it. I think you deserve everything."

I'm biting my tongue because I'd really just like to kiss his lips right now.

He tugs at my hand, "Come on Livvy, we've got a few more things to see before we call it a night."

And with that he starts walking and I can't help myself but grin as I catch up to him, I think he likes me and I think Lauren is right, I should just go for it.

* * *

Thanks for reading and remember to leave me some comments because they fuel my fire for writing like you would not believe! You all rock, seriously, I can't express how grateful I am for the kind reactions you all are giving me.

Because I'm _so_ excited about this story I posted the new chapter preview already! As usual you can find the link on my twitter (hazelblye) so please check it out! Also I **REALLY** need to know something, the next chapters get kind of…sexy (hint hint) and I was wondering if that was okay with my readers or not? I mean most Olitz scenes are pretty hot and heavy on television so I assume that most of us enjoy that, right? Because I'm definitely going to have to change the rating if I post it and I want you guys to be okay with it. Or I could always make like an "Album Version" story that has all the sexy stuff in it and make this version like the "Radio Edit"? Sorry, I'm a nerd. Haha

Please let me know how you feel about those ideas, your opinions matter to me!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	12. Chapter 12

"Mother says"—she hesitated uncertainly—"mother says that two souls are sometimes created together and—and in love before they're born."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned

* * *

I can't believe tomorrow is the last day of Quasar-Con. This has been the best experience I've ever had here. I've met the entire cast of Helio Space One several times before but never like this, I've gotten their autographs at previous Quasar-Con's and been able to say a couple words to them, but I've never gotten to actually have a conversation with any of them before or get a personal picture with them. Fitz might officially be my favorite person on the planet. I've been skipping around for the last couple hours; absolutely nothing can ruin my day and Fitz has been laughing at me all night since we got to talk with the cast. Now it's 10 PM and we are done for the day yet I still have loads of energy. We walk out one of the back doors of the convention center where Fitz's car is parked, his own private parking spot in an area restricted to only those who are a part of Quasar-Con or the workers from Grant Global Communications. He unlocks the doors of the little silver Benz and I hop into the passenger seat and sink back into it. He gets into the driver's seat, starts the car, and we head out onto the road back to the hotel. I am still giddy; honestly I don't really see an end to how happy I am. I wish the convertible top were down so I can scream my happiness into the salty sea air surrounding the convention center. The ride back to the hotel is silent, I am still processing my epic day and Fitz is smiling to himself as he focuses on the road. We arrive at the hotel and get out of the car, he hands his keys to the valet and we are left alone again at the hotel entrance. He looks at his watch, "I know it's late but we never had dinner and I'm starving, any chance you would like to join me?" He asks, looking straight at me. I'm still wearing my Lt. Rory costume and the platform boots make me practically eye level with him.

"Oh my gosh I totally forgot about food!" I say, dinner completely escaped my mind tonight and now that he's reminded me I suddenly feel a pain in my stomach and hear it growling furiously at me.

Fitz laughs at me and points to the right, "The hotel bar has pretty good food, is that okay?"

I nod my head in agreement, "Definitely, all of a sudden I'm starving!" I exclaim as we start walking to the right of the hotel through the restaurant's separate entrance. We make our way to the bar area, it's dimly lit with candles and almost no overhead lighting, giving it a romantic feel. The bartender sees us and tells us to sit anywhere and he'll be right over to get our drinks. There are only a few people in the bar, I'm glad I chose to stay here with Fitz and the rest of the GGC people instead of at the hotel right by the convention center, it's a nice hotel but it's completely filled with people attending Quasar-Con and can get a little crazy. I'm 26 now and it feels good to act like an adult every once in a while. Plus I like that this hotel is on the ocean, San Jose is the farthest I've ever lived from the ocean even though it's only 30-40 minutes away depending on the traffic. Berkeley was technically farther but since the bay was right there, I don't count it. It's nice to be able to go to sleep and smell the salty ocean air; it's comforting, like I'm back at home when I was a little girl.

Fitz picks a circular booth in the corner and we slide into the booth, making ourselves comfortable. After walking around for a good part of the day, it sure feels great to sit down on a comfortable leather seat instead of the plastic ones they have at the panels. The bartender comes over a moment later, takes our drink orders and hands us a menu. He pauses for a moment to look at me, which makes me slightly nervous, is there something on my face or is my hair all wacky?

"Were you guys at Quasar-Con?" He asks.

Fitz and I look at each other and laugh; it slipped my mind that I still have on my Lt. Rory costume.

"Yeah, we just got done for the day." I respond.

"Cool." The waiter responds and turns around to get our drinks.

"That's what I like about you." Fitz says to me.

I turn to look at him, his head is resting against the back of the booth, and he looks tired from the day's activities.

I give him a confused smile, "What exactly do you like about me?"

"How you're completely you, all of the time, you're never embarrassed to be yourself. That's pretty impressive. I mean, you look great in that costume, but most people would want to change out of it before leaving Quasar-Con, not you though." He's smiling at me with his beautiful smile, and it takes everything I have to not drool at how handsome he looks.

Before I can respond, the waiter returns, "scotch on the rocks for you, sir." He says as he sets down Fitz's drink in front of him, "and a scotch and soda for the lady. A double on the house, for Lt. Rory." He says, winking at me as he turns to walk away.

I'm shocked for a minute but manage to call out a thank you to him before he reaches the bar. Fitz is laughing as he picks up his drink to toast. I join him and hold mine up as well, "To Lt. Rory and her number one fan, Olivia Pope." I smile and add, "To Fitzgerald Grant, the greatest boss in history." He grins as I add that and we clink glasses, still smiling at each other.

"You know, he doesn't know we're not together." Fitz says, his eyes glimmering as he stares at me.

I shoot him a teasing smile and reply, "You're right, he doesn't."

We both go back to reading our menu's in silence until the bartender returns and takes our orders.

"So what really drew you to Helio Space One?" Fitz asks me.

I try to brush off the question with a simple answer, "Because Sofia Beckett was the first African American leading lady on a television show in almost twenty years." I say, laughing. I'm partially serious about this answer, but it's also my brush-off answer.

Fitz smiles at me but I don't think he bought it completely.

"Yeah," Fitz starts as the bartender walks away, "But what's the real reason you love this show so much?"

I bite my lip in apprehension; there are only three people outside my immediate family who know the real reason why I love this show so much.

Fitz senses my apprehension; "It's okay if you don't want to tell me."

I give him a small smile; it's a strange feeling knowing he can read me so well, "How did you figure it out?" I ask, avoiding his question for the moment.

"I overheard you talking to Sofia Beckett, you told her that Lt. Rory saved your life. Plus, you were just so incredibly jubilant to get to interact with the cast today; it's pretty obvious to anyone who saw you today that Helio Space One had a profound impact on your life." He's looking at me so intently as he talks that I feel like he's peering into my soul.

I purse my lips as I consider what to tell him. "Did you hear me say anything else to her?" I ask nervously.

"No." He answers adamantly; I can tell he's being honest with me. "I walked away and started talking to another cast member. I didn't feel like I had the right to listen to what you were telling her."

I smile brightly at him; I can feel my eyes fill a little bit with tears. I'm so taken aback that he cared enough to not want to intrude on my private moment with Sofia Beckett.

I take a deep breath; I now know that I want him to know why I love Helio Space One and Lt. Rory so much.

"The show came out during my junior year in college. My best friend in high school, Huck, we were closer than close. He was the first person was nice to me when I transferred in halfway through sophomore year from Okinawa. After high school I went off to Pepperdine and he joined the Marine Corps. His Dad was a Marine too and he had always wanted to join the corps. He had completed his first tour in Afghanistan and it had gone well, so well that he put in immediately for a second tour."

I pause and take a deep breath before I can continue, "When he was only a month into his second tour, this time Iraq, he was killed in action. He got caught in the crossfire of an IED and they couldn't save him. I was…I was lost. I spent the entire summer before junior year being miserable. I was terrible to be around; I just didn't know how to move on without him. I started out the fall semester on a sour note, I just hated the world and I couldn't see past this tragedy. It just didn't seem fair and I was so angry with everyone."

I close my eyes, attempting to find the courage to continue because I'm a little afraid the next part is going to make him see me differently, and not in a good way. "I would drink excessively and I did a bunch of drugs I shouldn't have. And when I wasn't out partying I would cut myself with razors just to feel anything. I ended up accidentally slitting my wrist with a broken bottle one night. Luckily I wasn't alone and my roommate rushed me to the hospital but it was a bad situation. My parents made me go to this 'therapy' center before spring semester because I was going to study abroad. I actually almost didn't study abroad because of Huck's death."

Finally I can feel my lips curl up and a smile appears on my face. "But then during therapy I accidentally tuned into a new show called Helio Space One. After just the first episode I realized I'd never related to anyone as much as I did to Lt. Rory. She was just so fearless and even though bad things happened to her and kept happening to her, she never stopped fighting. So every morning I would wake up and I would tell myself that I was going to take on the world like Lt. Rory did, I wasn't going to let this tragedy control my life, I wasn't going to let it consume me and not just ruin my life, but the lives of the people close to me as well because I knew Huck wouldn't want that, he would want me to be happy. Lt. Rory and Helio Space One saved me, it made me remember why life was worth living. That's why I love that show so much. That's why I'll never be embarrassed to wear my Lt. Rory costume in public. That show is one of the reasons I became the person I am today."

Somehow over the course of my story we've managed to slide closer together, our knees are touching under the table and our faces are less than a foot apart. Fitz looks sad, like my little story actually matters to him. We don't speak for a while; we just continue staring at each other. He grabs my hands, holding them in his large ones, rubbing them with his thumbs.

Our moment is interrupted by the bartender bringing our food to the table, he sets the food in front of us and the slight noise startles me a little and I jump but Fitz doesn't let go of my hands, they are still held tight between his larger ones. He doesn't break eye contact with me but moves to place my hands in my lap and before he lets go of them he says, "I'm sorry about Huck."

I give him a small grateful smile and we both turn to our food but remain in close proximity to each other. We eat in relative silence, making small talk about our day and Quasar-Con. We also each down two more drinks apiece so by the end of dinner I am definitely buzzed and I'm pretty sure Fitz is too. It's 11:30 PM but I'm not really tired and Fitz isn't indicating that he's ready to turn in either. We settle the bill and walk back into the main hotel, I've taken off my boots because I am definitely too buzzed to walk in six inch platform heels. We're stumbling and laughing our way to the elevator when we walk past the giant glass doors leading to the pool area and the beach.

"Oh, lets go to the beach!" I squeal, taking off through the doors and running through the pool area and down the boardwalk to the beach. I can hear Fitz behind me yelling at me to wait for him but I don't stop until I hit the sand. I drop my boots and my satchel on the sand and pull off my Lt. Rory jacket and throw it on top of them. It's a little chilly out but the alcohol coursing through my veins is keeping me warm. Fitz finally catches up to me and follows suit by taking off his shoes and tossing them next to my things.

"I love the ocean at night. It's so peaceful." I say as I start to walk closer to the water.

I stop before I hit the water and slide my skintight pants up to my knees so they won't get wet. My feet touch the icy water of the Pacific Ocean and I can feel a chill run through my bones, but I don't really care. I've just had the best day of my life and I'm ending that day on a beautiful beach with the most incredible person I've ever met standing next to me. I look over at Fitz, he's not looking out at the ocean. Instead he's looking over at me and smiling. The wind is blowing around his curly hair and I can just imagine him lifting his arms up to the sky and taking off, Superman style.

"You're absolutely gorgeous." He says, grinning madly at me.

"You know, Mr. Grant that's kind of an inappropriate thing to say to your employee."

"It definitely is, Ms. Pope, but I can't really think about anything else."

I am now grinning at him and we're both just staring at each other.

Fitz yawns, "Liv, I think we should probably head in. We've got another big day ahead of us tomorrow."

I pout even though I know he's right.

"Come on." He says, extending his hand out to grab my own.

I reach forward and grab his hand, our fingers intertwine and I feel a jolt of electricity run through me.

I can't waste another moment of my life not having him.

We walk back into the hotel and when we reach my room I stop at the door, hesitating before I put the key in. I bring the key up to the lock but I can't bring myself to unlock the door. Instead I turn around and lean against the door. Apparently the combination of the alcohol and my Lt. Rory costume have made me brave because the next thing I know I'm saying, "I don't want to go to bed." I look up at Fitz who is now his normal ten inches taller than me because I took my boots off.

He looks down at me and takes a step closer; he reaches a hand up and plays with the end of my long brown ponytail. He leans in and whispers in my ear, "Please just go into your room and go to bed, I won't be able to say no to you."

I can smell the faint scent of his cologne when he's so close to me, I don't want to go to bed. I _need_ him.

I turn my head and stand on my tippy toes, pressing my palms against his shoulders and angling my head upward so that our lips are only about an inch away and our noses are almost touching. "Then don't." I tell him, deciding to be bold and running my hands through his silky hair. How I have longed to touch this hair for the past six months. It's better than I've ever imagined.

He sinks into me a little bit and bends his head upward slightly, his lips lightly touching my forehead before he breaks the contact and steps slightly backward. I reluctantly let go of his hair and let him stand about a foot away from me.

"You have no idea how much I want to do this, but I'm your boss, this isn't appropriate. Also, I'm almost eighteen years older than you; I'd be a cradle robbing pervert if we did this."

I laugh and take a step closer to him, "Then let's be inappropriate, I want you to be a cradle robbing perv."

He laughs but makes no move to step further backward.

I tilt my head up so I'm looking into his eyes, they're blue like the water of the Aegean Sea and I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful. I straighten my posture and I give him the most serious face I'm capable of.

"I'm twenty-six years old, I'm an adult and I can make my own choices. You're not taking advantage of me and you're not forcing me to do anything I don't want to do. I want this. I want you."

With that, his lips are on me and he's pressing me into the door, I stand on my tip toes so he doesn't have to bend over as much to reach my lips and he grabs my thighs and pulls them up so I've circled my legs around his waist. My hips are digging into his and I can feel his erection straining his pants and pressing into the delicate place between my legs. His hands move to the bottom of my tank top and slip under it and over my back. I moan in pleasure as his lips make their way down my jaw line and down my neck. His lips are perfect; they know exactly what to do to drive me crazy, I feel more alive right now than I have in the past six years.

His lips make their way to my collarbone and the feel of the slight scruff present on his face combined with his hot and wet kisses are making me grip him even tighter with my legs.

"We should go in." I say, reluctantly and breathlessly, pulling my arm from behind his back and putting the key card between us. He grabs it and without missing a beat, opens the door and pushes us inside. I'm still positioned around his waist and after he kicks the door shut he moves us quickly to the bed and lays us both down so that his body is hovering over mine.

His eyes are wide open as his lips break contact with my skin for a moment; I can see the desire in his eyes. He sits upright, between my knees, which are still clinging to his sides, and he starts to unbutton his oxford shirt. I don't think I've ever seen him wear anything but an oxford and he pulls off the look so well. He slides the shirt off his shoulders and he's left wearing an undershirt which he pulls off just as quickly. He bends back over me and starts to kiss down my chest. His mouth feels so good on my skin; he reaches the top of my tank top and looks up to me, asking permission to remove it. "Is this okay?"

I look down to him and nod. I've never actually had a guy ask permission to remove my clothing, they usually just go for it, unless it's Jake and then I'm usually just undressing myself. Fitz pulls my tank top off in one fluid motion. I'm really happy I've worn a bra that accentuates my average breasts. He goes right to work on the valley between my breasts, with every nip and every kiss I can feel the desire building up deep inside me. I reach back for the hook on my bra and release it for him, shaking it off my arms so he has better access. He takes both of my breasts in his large hands and just that action alone feels incredible. His mouth captures one of my nipples and his hand plays with the other, my hips are rising and falling to meet his, the growing erection in his pants is driving me mad. I want him so badly right now. My hands venture south to the buckle on his pants, why the hell do men always wear belts? I have the hardest time getting them undone. After a minute of me trying and failing to undo his belt buckle, Fitz lifts his head off my chest and goes back to my lips, I can hear him chuckling as he kisses me.

"Having problems?" He asks.

"Why the hell do men have to wear belts?" I ask, scowling at him while my hands are still trying and failing to get the belt undone. He laughs at me again and grabs my hands with his own, pulling them up to my chest and then grabbing both my wrists in one hand to hold them in place while using the other hand to unbuckle his belt in one quick motion. It takes him only a second more to unbutton the top button and unzip his zipper, a feat that would have undoubtedly taken me several minutes to accomplish.

He lets go of my hands and resumes kissing me, these kisses aren't like the hot and fast ones we first shared, these are deep and passionate and every time he kisses me I feel like I'm going to melt into him. I slide my hands down to push his pants off of him, my hands run over his ass and god, it's a fantastic ass. I slide his jeans down to about his knees but I can't reach any further. He sits up and removes his pants himself, throwing them on the ground. I lift my hips up off the bed, indicating to him that I want him to remove mine as well. He grasps my pants on both sides of my body and pulls them down my body and throws them somewhere on the floor. He climbs back up to the bed and positions himself between my legs, he leans forward and I grasp at his boxer briefs, in this moment he stops to look at me.

"Olivia, are you sure you want to do this?" He asks me, complete seriousness on his face.

I sit up dramatically, "Do you think I'm a virgin?" I ask, bluntly.

He kind of looks shocked at this question, "I…I…honestly I'm not sure. I've tried so hard not to think of you in this way, I mean I…"

I start to laugh as he stutters his way through his thought; I've honestly never see him nervous before. "I'm not a virgin, not even close, I've had a lot of sex."

He looks at me with a baffled stare, "That makes me feel a lot better." He deadpans.

I lean forward and pull him closer to me, letting my hands fall to the elastic of his boxer briefs and placing my mouth to his ear, "I have never wanted anyone this much in my entire life." Turns out that was all he needed to continue. He grabs my knees and flips me so my back is yet again on the bed, he quickly pulls his boxer briefs off and he leans forward so that his mouth is right in between my legs. I can feel his hot breath against me and I can feel myself get more wet by the second. He kisses me through my panties and I let out a scream and grasp the sheets underneath me in my hands. He finally finishes the assault on my underwear and rips them off in one quick motion, his mouth quickly taking their place. I let out a scream again as his mouth begins to make me feel pleasure like I've never felt before. I'm moaning and panting and I don't even care enough to try to conceal the noises I'm making because his mouth just feels so damn good. He hits that spot with his mouth and I can feel my first orgasm shudder through me as I scream out his name. He pulls himself up my body and kisses my mouth again, our bodies are pushed together in all our glorious nakedness and I can feel his considerable erection pressed firmly against me. I reach my hand down to find him and take him in my hand; he's pretty big, definitely bigger than any of the guys I've previously been with. He reaches his hand down to grasp mine and holds it steady for a moment, "Livvy, I'm so sorry I'm interrupting this again but I have to ask before we start and we can't go back, but, I don't have a condom and I don't know if you're on birth control and even if you are you might still want me to wear a condom but…unless you have one we're out of luck."

I take a deep breath in an attempt to calm my over stimulated body, "I'm on birth control."

Fitz lets out a huge sigh of relief, "So you're still okay with no condom? I can always…pull out?"

"Yeah, yes. I mean yes to no condom but no to pulling out, it's fine Fitz. Don't worry about it. I'm safe." I'm so ready for him to be inside me that I'm practically begging him.

He grins at me and then bends down to kiss me while finding my opening; he lightly presses his tip into me and breaks his kiss, looking deep into my eyes as if silently asking for permission to continue. He thrusts into me swiftly and I can feel my body stretching to accommodate him. He feels so good inside me, he thrusts into me, pushing my knees back in order to push further into me. I have never felt this much pleasure in my entire life, we're completely in sync, he thrusts and I meet him, our bodies finding a perfect rhythm. I reach my climax and scream his name into his shoulder, biting it to muffle the sound. I can feel the waves of pleasure coursing through my body and I can tell by the sound of his grunting that he is close too so I decide to take control. I sit up and grab his shoulders, pushing him down so he is now the one laying on the bed and I am on top of him. I settle myself onto his member and I begin to thrust, slamming my pelvis into his, he grabs my hips and meets my thrusts beat for beat. He is so close, I can tell. He sits upright so I am in his lap, his lips are on mine and our bodies are tangled together. He screams my name as he releases into me and we collapse onto the bed together, still intertwined, our arms and legs grasping for a piece of each other, and I fall asleep, more satisfied than I've ever been.

* * *

As always, thank you SO much for reading! I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear how you all are enjoying this story. It just makes me keep writing and writing and I just never want to stop so THANK YOU!

And thanks for all the messages and mentions and follows on twitter! I get so excited to see notifications and I love getting to follow you all back and see how awesomesauce you all are! So if you haven't found me on twitter my name there is the same as on here and on tumblr, just nice simple **hazelblye **:]

Also a very very special thank you to **Da Princes and Me's** because she quashed my anxiety about this chapter and gave me some fab suggestions and advice and she is basically just all around amazing! Thank you so much girl, you are spectacular!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	13. Chapter 13

"They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

* * *

I wake up abruptly and see the clock flash in my peripheral vision. It's only 6:30 AM, I groan, we hadn't planned on getting to Quasar Con until 11:00 AM today. I try to move so I can get up and pee when I realize that I am with another person. Fitz's head is in my neck, his arms are around me and our legs are twisted together. I stop trying to move and instead focus on getting a close up view of him where I don't have to be abashed about my staring. It's dark but I can still manage to get a decent view. He really is beautiful. His normally perfectly styled hair is loose and hanging around his face, his mouth is twisted into a small smile. I lightly run my hand down his chest, I like that he has chest hair, it feels so masculine, Jake has no chest hair, come to think of it I don't believe any of the guys I've been with have had chest hair. He's really fit, I can see the muscles in his chest and his arms, it's not obnoxiously fit, he's still a fairly skinny guy, it's just a nice kind of fit. It's clear he cares about his health but doesn't obsess over it.

"You're staring." He says suddenly. I am so surprised by his words that I jump backward and fly off the bed. Now I'm naked on the floor of my hotel room and Fitz is laughing hysterically, at me from atop the bed. I crawl back up and scowl at him, quickly pulling myself under the covers as I slide back into bed. I know we've already slept together and he's obviously seen everything but it's always different in the morning light. Like somehow all your flaws become visible in the dawn.

Fitz is propped up on his elbow now, staring at me. "Now all of a sudden you're shy?"

I know I'm blushing as he reaches his hand over toward me and pulls the sheet down from my shoulder.

"I don't think you quite understand how beautiful you are." He says, running his hand down my side.

Okay, now I know I'm blushing, I can feel it creeping into my cheeks. His hand is now gripping my hip and he pulls me over to him, our bodies are pressed together and his lips crash onto mine again and oh, he feels so good. I don't think I've ever been kissed this way before; he could just keep kissing me. I'd be perfectly fine never going up for air and just dying this way, as long as he just keeps kissing me. He shifts his body so that he's on top of me, I can feel his erection hot on my thigh and it's making me wet with anticipation. Instead of going right for the gold, like most guys would, he reaches his hand down and lets his fingers massage between my legs. My gasp is muffled by his mouth's sensual assault on my own mouth. This is fantastic, his fingers have found the perfect rhythm and I am squirming underneath him because I just want him to take me now. I am panting and moaning and he finally brings his mouth up from mine. I gasp at the loss of contact.

"Fuck me." I whisper into his ear, I can barely get the words out because his fingers feel so good inside me.

He laughs and leans down to whisper in my ear, "I love how dirty your mouth is, but I think I'm going to continue making you writhe underneath me for a while."

I laugh and bite the finger he has placed on my lips. A moment more and his fingers hit the perfect spot and I come apart in his hands. I let go of his finger, there's definitely going to be a bite mark there, I smile to myself. His mouth is back on mine in a matter of seconds and now both of his hands are on my backside, pushing my pelvis into his, I can feel his hardness on my lady bits and the contact is making me wetter by the minute. His mouth leaves my own and he presses hot kisses along my jawbone and down my chest, leaving me almost breathless.

"Please just fuck me already." I say, panting.

He brings his head back up so he is looking into my eyes and he's grinning, "Well, since you said please." With that he reaches a hand down to line himself up with my center and without a moment's hesitation drives himself into me, making me gasp. We quickly fall into a rhythm and I honestly can't remember sex ever feeling this good. His lips find mine and our tongues are dueling passionate as our bodies are completely connected.

I somehow manage to utter the words, "If I had known 'please' was all it took to get you to fuck me I would have said it months ago."

He stops kissing me, though our pelvises continue their perfectly crafted rhythm, "If I had known you wanted me months ago, it wouldn't have even taken that. All you would have had to do was ask and I would have been yours."

I feel a shiver go through my body when he says 'yours', I've never really felt like someone has belonged to me, but Fitz makes me feel that way and truth be told, it scares the absolute shit out of me. His eyes are looking deep into mine and I can just imagine us like this forever, a few more glorious thrusts later and we are both tumbling over the proverbial edge. He falls onto me and I grasp him tightly, as if my arms don't ever want to let him go. Oddly enough I find his body comforting, normally I can't wait to get away from the other person after sex, I run straight to the shower and then get out of there as quickly as I can, even with Jake it's like that. I thought I loved Jake for so many years, I thought that I was just odd and sleeping next to him would be something I just got used to, but the more I think about touching Jake like this the more repulsive it becomes, not because he isn't attractive, because he is, but because I've completely fallen for Fitz.

I nuzzle my face into his neck, he smells so good. Like Armani cologne and some smell I can't place that must be purely Fitzgerald Grant. We lie like this and I must fall back asleep because the next time I open my eyes Fitz is propped up on his elbow and looking right at me.

"Now you're staring." I say, opening my eyes to see Fitz propped up with his elbow on his pillow; I turn my head to look at the clock to the right of me. It's 8:06 AM; I must have fallen back asleep.

"It was my turn to stare." He replies, smiling at me.

I turn around and scoot closer to him, he pulls me in toward his body, I feel so comfortable in his arms, I could just stay here all day with him.

He puts his arm around my waist and pulls me up so our faces are at the same level; he lightly kisses my lips, lingering for a moment before pulling back.

"We should get ready. I could use a shower." He says, winking at me.

I laugh, "Are you propositioning me?"

He joins in my laughter, "I guess I'm not doing a great job of it, am I?"

"No, but I'll join you any way." I say cheekily, sticking my tongue out at him.

"Well, let's head to the bathroom before I start round 3 right here." He says, running his hand down my back to cup my behind.

"Are you, you know, good to go, already?" I stutter out.

He gives me a strange look, "I feel like that's a dig at my age." He says as he sits upright on the bed.

He looks like he's laughing but I think he also might be a little hurt at my comment because underneath his laugh he wears a serious face. I shoot upward as well, "No, no I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way. I just…I'm sorry." I sputter out; "I'm not sure what I meant with my statement. I did read that men take longer to….get ready for another round….once they start to get older. I didn't mean it to be offensive; it was just an honest wondering."

He keeps looking at me with that serious face and I feel like he might be mad at me, but he surprises me when after a moment he gives me a small smile. "No, it's not your fault, this is uncharted territory for both of us."

I smile, grateful he's let my comment slip, and kneel up on the mattress; I wrap my arms around his neck, "Let's shower." I say, and kiss him deeply as he pulls me off the bed and carries me to the shower, my legs wrapped possessively around his waist. He carries me to the shower and turns it on; I barely notice this, as I'm so absorbed in kissing him. We get into the shower and I find my footing on the ground. The water is raining down on us and I've shut my eyes so I'm just feeling Fitz. It's funny to think we are so comfortable already, with Jake it was always awkwardly knocking into each other whether or not our eyes were open or closed, with Fitz it's as if we are telepathically communicating so we both know what to do. He presses me back against the wall of the shower and he runs his hands all along the sides of my body. He has fantastic hands, they are large but thin and they know exactly what my body wants, like they can feel my desire just through touch. His hands venture down to my thighs and pick up my legs, placing them around his waist. I can feel his erection again; every time I feel it I swear my anticipation for him just grows more and more.

He continues to kiss me and moves his mouth along my jaw and upward towards my ear, he bits my earlobe and I let out a small scream because it feels so good. He whispers quietly in my ear, "I sense this is going to be a quick one."

I nod; I'm experiencing far too much pleasure to speak. I reach my hand down to find his hardness and place it at my entrance. He thrusts into me and I let out a scream of pleasure from the new angle standing up has given us. I'm pretty powerless here so I just let him set the pace, thrusting in and out of me. I'm pretty sure if we weren't in the shower and my screams weren't muffled by the sound of the water, we would be causing quite the ruckus. My orgasm hits me like a train, I'm pretty sure I black out from the pleasure for a moment. As I'm coming back to earth I realize that Fitz hasn't came yet and since he did such great work with his mouth and fingers, I want to return the favor.

I tap his shoulder, "Put me down." I say breathlessly.

He gives me a confused look but sets me down; I can see him groan a little as he pulls out his still hard member.

I wait a moment to make sure I am balanced and I sink down to my knees, taking his penis in my hand.

"Olivia, you don't have to do this." He says, bending down to grab my arms and pull me back up.

"No." I say forcefully, grabbing his arms before they can pull me back up. "I want to, let me make you feel good." I say, trying my best to give him a sultry look.

I've always been one of those women who feel that a blowjob gives me the power and not the other way around. I'm in charge during it; I decide whether or not he gets off and how quickly it happens. In my opinion, I have all the power and I like that.

He lets go of my arms but doesn't say a word; he just steps backward so his back is closer to the wall of the shower.

I take his penis in my hand, he's really quite big, I knew he was big, but it looks even more impressive up close. I slowly put my mouth over his member; he groans and leans backward against the wall. I pick up the pace, pushing his rock hard member into my mouth until I can feel him on my throat. I know he's close so I attempt to send him over the edge by lightly taking his balls in my hand and massaging them. That's just enough to push him over the edge; he screams my name as he ejaculates into my mouth. I let the falling water wash the ejaculate out of my mouth and watch him as his orgasm rocks his body. I'm sure I'm grinning like an idiot, I love that I'm the reason he's feeling so much pleasure. After he comes back to earth he grabs my arms and pulls me up, kissing me deeply. "Good god, I haven't had anyone do that for me in years, I forgot how great it feels." He continues to kiss me and I reluctantly pull back, "We should probably actually wash up, instead of just getting dirtier."

This makes him laugh, "Let me wash you." He says, not even waiting for my answer. He turns me around and grabs the shampoo from the shower ledge and squeezes it into his and within seconds he is massaging it into my hair.

His hands are massaging my scalp and I feel like I'm at the salon, his hands truly are magic. I reach for the wall of the shower to steady myself as he continues to massage my head. A moment later he is pulling me around to face him, he captures my lips with his own and kisses me deeply as his hands push the shampoo out of my hair. I like that he is so much taller than me, even though I'm pretty sure all this bending up to kiss him is going to make my neck feel terrible tomorrow. I'm 5'4", which isn't really that tall but isn't ridiculously short either", Jake is only 5'10" and the six inches don't really do much for me, I like how much taller Fitz is, even in my highest heels he is still much taller than me.

He's still kissing me and washing the shampoo out of my hair. After a moment he stops and turns away and I start to pout, when he turns around he starts to laugh at my facial expression.

"I'm just grabbing your conditioner." He says with a smile as he turns me around and begins massaging the conditioner into my hair. He's running his hands through my hair and I'm feeling that familiar tingling in between my legs. This is insane; I've never wanted someone so much before when we've just been together not five minutes ago.

I lean back into his firm chest and his hands make their way from my hair and down my front, they're slowly massaging my breasts and one hand is making its way down between my legs.

"You realize that conditioner is only meant for the hair on your head." I say, jokingly.

"My mistake, I'll go back to your hair." He says teasingly, removing his hand.

"No, no, no." I plead, grabbing his hand and pulling it back down toward me.

He laughs into my ear; I know he was just messing with me.

"Ass." I half whisper, half moan as his hand begins its ministrations and I melt backward into him yet again, I can feel his muscles on my back, he feels so strong I feel like I could just lay against him for hours. His hand begins to move faster and I know I'm going to lose it in a matter of minutes. He presses his mouth to the sensitive spot on my neck right below my ear and I can feel my breathing hitch.

"Let go, baby." He whispers into my ear and that's all I can take. I can feel the immense pleasure shooting through me and I go limp in his arms. I turn around when I regain the feeling in my legs and start to kiss him again. He's running his hands down from my head to my back as he's rinsing the conditioner out of my hair and it feels wonderful.

He rinses the last of the conditioner out of my hair and I turn around to grab the shampoo so I can wash his hair.

"Your turn." I say, putting the shampoo in my hand and motioning for him to bend down so I can massage the shampoo in to his hair.

He laughs at me, "I'm going to smell like you if you use that."

I grin wickedly at him, "Think of it as my way of marking you." I love teasing him.

He returns my grin, "Oh, I think you've already left your mark on me, several marks if I remember correctly." He says, putting the shampoo bottle back on the shower ledge.

My grin widens, he's right, there is definitely going to be a bite mark on his left index finger and there is probably also going to be one on his right shoulder as well.

I reach my hands up to massage the shampoo into his hair but I find he's too tall for me to properly do it.

"Bend your knees." I say. He silently obliges and I massage the shampoo into his hair. I like that he's going to smell like me, it makes me feel like he belongs to me. But he doesn't belong to me, not really. Yeah, we've had three rounds of earth shattering sex, but we haven't talked about what we are yet. What if I'm not the first assistant he's done this with? From everything I know about him he doesn't seem like the kind of person to do that, but at the same time he's doing it now with me so anything is possible. But I can't think about that, not right now. I don't even realize it, but apparently I've started to frown.

"Olivia?" Fitz says, clearly noticing the change in my facial expressions. "Are you all right?" He asks me, I can see the concern in his face as he stands up straight, placing his hand on my cheek.

"Livvy." He says sternly, I know he wants me to tell him what's going on in my head but I just can't do it right now.

"Ask me again later?" I say, my eyes pleading with him to agree.

"Okay." He says, nodding in agreement as he bends down and kisses me, his hand still on my cheek.

I look into his eyes. "You're the only person I like to call me Livvy." I say.

He smiles at me, "I like that."

I smile at him too, our foreheads are now touching and we stand there for a moment, letting the water wash over us as we just let this perfect little moment consume us.

After a moment I reach back to grab my body wash and offer it to him. He laughs, "Okay, I don't mind my hair smelling like you but I draw the line at pomegranate soap. I think I'll stick to my generic hotel soap." He says, grabbing the bar from the ledge and taking it out of its wrapper.

"Suit yourself." I say, lathering myself up with the bright pink liquid soap. "I bet that hotel crap feels awful on your skin once you're out of the shower." I jest.

"Just because it isn't your fancy soap doesn't mean it won't get the job done." He teases as he rinses himself off.

I step out of the shower and quickly grab two towels. I wrap one around me and it barely covers me from top to bottom. Fitz quickly wipes off his upper body and then ties the towel around his waist. I am practically leering at him as I stare at how the towel hangs so perfectly on his extremely fit body.

He's staring at me too, "You know, I used to hate how tiny hotel towels are but right now I'm thanking the hotel gods for making them so tiny." He says, grinning wickedly at my towel, which barely covers up enough of my body to be decent. If I bent over my whole butt would be exposed and if I pull the towel down any farther my breasts will be on complete display.

"Yeah, well you're going to like this even more." I say, flashing him a devious grin and then pulling the towel away from my body and giving him a quick peek at everything that is underneath before quickly covering myself back up.

"Oh, god, you're perfect." He whines and I continue to laugh.

He looks at the clock, it's not even 9 AM but we both know we are going to have to head out of our little bubble soon and interact with the real world.

He looks at me and sighs, "I'm going to have to go back to my room and get ready."

I frown, I really don't want him to leave but I know he has to.

"I'll be quick. I'll just come right back." He says.

I nod, "Okay, just take my key. It shouldn't take me too long to get ready but you'll probably be quicker still."

He grabs the key and smiles at me. I watch him as he puts on his jeans and oxford shirt from last night. He looks handsome in them even though they're all wrinkly from being on the floor.

He walks out the door and before he opens it he looks into the bathroom at me, "I'll be right back, I promise." With that he smiles at me and walks out.

I go back to my bathroom routine, brushing my teeth, washing my face, and drying my hair. I decide to only partially dry it since I'm not technically working and it will be okay if it's just messy and curly like it usually is. I run through the plan for the day in my head. I have plans to meet up with some Quasar-Con friends today. I've seen a few of them already but there are about 7 of us who meet up on the last day of Quasar-Con every year, we met and bonded in our first attempt to meet the cast of 'Helio Space One' and we've been getting together for the last four years. It's cool actually, none of them are even from California and they still come back to Quasar-Con every year. I can't wait to tell them all about the day I had yesterday. I'm still in awe that I actually got to have a real conversation with Sofia Beckett; I mean Sofia freaking Beckett gave me a hug! I smile to myself; I can't believe Fitz would do that for me. Jake would never do that kind of thing.

I frown to myself, Jake. I'm going to have to officially end things with him soon. I think I should do it in person; we've been through too much to just do it over the phone. I tried to make the break permanent but he refused to believe I meant it and I really need to put my foot down when we talk next time. Jake is still fully committed to me, I feel terrible about that but I don't love him the way he deserves to be loved and stringing him along even further isn't right. Especially after everything I did last night with Fitz.

Oh, Fitz. I can feel the blood rush between my legs just thinking about him. I can feel a shiver go through my body and I smile. No one has ever affected me in the way he does, it's such a new feeling and I really am enjoying it. I head out to find my clothes; I bend over to pick up my demolished pair of underwear off the floor. I make a note to myself to tell Fitz that he owes me a new pair. I decide against my Lt. Rory costume for today since the jacket still has some sand in it from when I dropped it on the beach last night and I decide to just go with my favorite Star Wars t-shirt, which bears a picture of Han Solo and the phrase, "Han shot first". I had it signed by Harrison Ford when I was just eleven years old and I've been wearing it to at least one day of Quasar-Con ever since. I decide to put it with a pair of skinny black chiffon harem pants with silver studs down the sides. I smile, these are one of my favorite pairs of pants and I always feel confident in them. I slip my clothes on and look at myself in the mirror, the shirt is still baggy on me but I've retro-fitted it over the years to look cool. The sides are cut and tied together so it looks like a fringe and I cut the crew neck off, instead opting for a v-neck. The only size left when I was a kid was a men's adult medium and I wanted it so much that I bought it anyway. I put in the death star earrings Caroline got me for Christmas and then I go diving through my suitcase in search of a pair of shoes to complete my outfit.

I hear the key turn on the door and I smile to myself but don't look back, I know its just Fitz. The door shuts quietly and he makes his way over to the bed and sits down, he just stares at me.

Finally I turn around because I can feel his gaze hot on my backside, "What?" I ask him, feigning annoyance.

"I love your hair curly like that, why don't you wear it like that to the office?"

I shrug, "I feel older and more professional with it straight. Maybe I'll consider wearing it like this for you every so often." I say with a wink as I go back to rifling through my things.

"You know, I liked the towel look better." He says, grinning wildly at me.

I roll my eyes and grab my tattered pair of underwear and whip it at him.

The ball of undies lands right in his lap and he picks them up to see what they are.

"You owe me a new pair." I say, trying to look serious but in reality I'm stifling a laugh.

"Okay, how about for every pair of underwear I rip, I'll buy you ten new pairs." He counters.

I laugh, "Are you planning on ripping more of my underwear?"

He slowly gets off the bed and deposits the ruined undies in the trashcan before he walks over to me. He places his hands around my cheeks and then bends down to kiss me on the mouth and whispers, "I kind of liked it.

I start to laugh uncontrollably and I shake my head and turn around to find the black wedge booties I know I packed somewhere in my mess of a suitcase.

Fitz makes his way back to the bed and takes a seat once again.

I finally find my black booties and throw my hands up in the air, victorious.

"Yes!" I shout, and Fitz laughs.

I sit down on the floor to put them on, sliding some thin socks on first.

"How do you walk in those?" Fitz asks me, his face in a confused frown as he looks down at the shoes.

"They're comfy. And these ones only have a three-inch wedge so they're really easy to walk in. These are nothing compared to the six-inch wedges I had on yesterday." I say, continuing to tie the strings on my shoes.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you in anything but heels." He says, thinking aloud.

"You're probably right." I answer back, "My Mom always said even if you're a tall woman it's good to wear heels because it puts you at eye-level with the men around you."

"She's a lawyer, right?" He says, cocking his head to the left trying to recall the several times we've talked about her.

"Yep. And she wears heels every single day." I say, grinning at him as I stand up.

"Very hip." Fitz says, checking out my outfit, as he stands up too.

"That's just the way I roll." I say, trying to sound cool and making a peace sign with both my hands, which just makes him laugh at me and soon enough I'm joining in the laughter as well.

A moment later he looks at his watch, "Well, its 9:30, want to grab some food before we head out?"

I nod, "Hotel or do you want to stop somewhere along the way?"

"Actually, I know a place just down the road, if you don't mind going a little bit out of the way." He says, pulling his keys out of his pocket.

I shrug my shoulders; "Sure, we don't really have a schedule today. I only want to go to two panels and both of them are after 3 PM and I'm not planning on meeting up with my friends until 1 PM."

"We can probably still make it by 11:00 or 11:30, this place is just down the road a bit and I promise you, it's great." He says smiling as he opens the door for me.

As I walk out into the hallway I see one of the associates from Grant Global Communications, Amanda, I groan. She is literally the last person I want to see right now.

She sees me walk out of the hotel room and starts waving, "Liv! Hi! Don't you look adorable."

I turn towards the wall and roll my eyes; I hate it when people only slightly older than me treat me like I'm a kid. I also curse under my breath as Fitz follows me out of my room and I see Amanda's reaction change when she sees him following me. Her face is a mix of shock and annoyance.

"Fitz!" She says excitedly, "I didn't expect to see you." She stops in front of us, her eyebrows raised.

Sometimes I'm extremely grateful that both of my parents are lawyers because I think it gave me predisposition to lie, and to be good at it.

"I lost a contact and luckily Fitz arrived so we could head over to the convention center and was nice enough to help me find it." I say, smiling at her.

"Oh," she says, her facial expression changing from one of shock to one of slight disappointment.

"Are you heading to the convention center?" Fitz asks her politely.

"I'm meeting Mark for a quick brunch first. You two should join us?" She asks excitedly.

I notice that in the time we've been talking she has moved closer to Fitz and now she has her hand on his forearm. I would really like to scowl at her but since she apparently believed my lie from before I should probably stand here and try to be cool.

Fitz presses his lips together, "Oh, I wish we could but I've got to discuss a couple things with Cyrus Beene over at the convention center."

Amanda's face falls into an overly dramatic pout, "That's too bad, well we all will have to meet up later today!"

"Just text us when you have a free moment, I've been enjoying learning the ins and outs of Quasar-Con from our resident pro, but we'd love for you and Mark to join us when you're not busy." Fitz says, he's using his best 'charming clients' voice and I'm trying not to laugh, as Amanda is clearly unaware of the fact that he's blowing her off. We are definitely not meeting up with them, thank god.

"Sounds so great!" Amanda exclaims, "See you both later!" And with that she walks the opposite way down the hallway toward the elevators.

Fitz and I walk in silence to the stairs at the opposite end of the hallway until we hear the elevator ding and Amanda gets on.

I let out a breath that I've been holding and we enter the stairwell leading down to the side of the hotel and the quicker way to the valet parking garage.

We still aren't speaking as Fitz makes his way to the valet counter and the man working goes to get his car.

I'm looking at him, my lips pursed together because I want to say something about how awkward that was, but I can't find the right words.

Fitz turns around and immediately laughs at me. "Is this your thinking face, because if so, I'm a little nervous?" He jokes.

I relax a little and roll my eyes at him.

"Do you think she knew the truth?" I ask quietly.

Fitz's face suddenly gets serious again, "I don't know. I think she bought your excuse. That was some quick thinking by the way; do you have a lot of practice in the deceit department?" He's got a small smile on his face, he's joking of course.

I laugh, "I was a bit of a troublemaker in high school." I say, "Thing is, my parents don't really know because I always managed to cover my tracks. You have to be a good liar to make two lawyers believe you."

"The misspent youth of Olivia Pope, I'd read that book." He says, still smiling at me.

"I was quite the con artist in high school. The thing is I never drank or smoked or did drugs, I mostly just snuck into the city for concerts. I honestly don't even know how I managed to get into so many 21 and over clubs. Oh, and one time when I was in London with a student group I snuck over to Paris for a day, that was pretty awesome." I say, smiling as I think about all the crazy things I did in high school.

"Did you ever sneak out of the house for comic book conventions?" He says, teasing me.

I stick my tongue out at him, "No, my Dad always was always happy to send me to those."

He laughs at my childish antic and just then the valet returns with his car. Fitz tips him, opens the door for me, and then gets in himself and we are off to get our food.

I lean back in the comfortable leather of his little Mercedes and peer out the window. He wasn't joking; this place must be right on the water.

"Have you ever done this before?" I ask him, my voice quiet and timid.

"Drive? Uh, yeah I've only had my license for about thirty years." He says, joking around with me, he knows that's not what I'm asking about.

I turn to glare at him, "You know that's not what I meant."

He takes a deep breath, "You mean sleep with my assistant?"

"Yeah." I say, my voice still quiet because honestly I'm a little afraid to know the answer to this question.

"Is this why you got all quiet in the shower?"

I nod my head.

"No. Never." He says, looking at me, his eyes are wide and I can tell he's being honest with me.

"Why?" I ask, I feel a little relieved that I'm the only one he's ever slept with, but I'm also unnerved as to why I'm the _only_ one he's slept with.

"Why you're the only one I've slept with or why I didn't sleep with any of the others?" Oh great, he's reading my mind now. I think as he turns to look me in the eye.

"Both." I say.

He doesn't answer me for a moment because he is pulling into a parking space, but I don't stop looking at him. After he puts the car in park he turns to me, giving me his full attention.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, "Well, first of all, my last assistant only lasted a month. She thought the job was only going to be all parties and hanging with celebrities, she drove me crazy, I was happy she quit before I had to fire her. My assistant before her was here for five years and I never slept with him."

"Him." I say with a goofy grin on my face.

Fitz smiles back at me, "Robbie, he was great. He was my assistant for five years, in fact you can blame him for all the unreasonable work I ask you to do. He was a great assistant and he now runs our smaller LA office. You'd like him, you two should meet up the next time you're in LA."

"What about your assistants before him?" I wish I didn't have such an urge to find out this information.

"Before him I didn't spend a lot of time with my assistants, they were just that, assistants. They did all the boring work. I never really spent any time with them until Robbie came along. And as for why I didn't sleep with the others, it's because I've never been the kind of man who is attracted to looks alone; passion and intelligence are big factors for me. None of my previous assistants had that special something. Then Robbie came and he became not just an employee but an asset. You are the same way. But that's not the reason I decided to break social taboo's to sleep with you. I find you mesmerizing. I love how passionate you are about the things you love, I love how you're intelligent but you don't feel the need to prove it, I love that you're extremely cultured but don't act like it makes you better than anyone else, I love that you're not afraid to be who you are, and I don't mean to sound vain, but you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. I like you, and I was terrified to admit it until you forced me to. Thank you for that by the way, I know that this is not a normal situation and that it's going to be very complicated but I really would like to see where this goes. I'm not the kind of person who just sleeps with someone and never speaks about it again. I want to spend more time with you, outside of work that is, if that's all right with you?"

Fitz is looking at me intently and I know I am blushing from all the compliments he's just given me and I'm trying not to focus on the fact that he's just used the word 'love' four times in describing why he is attracted to me-which I'm sure in no way was a Freudian slip-I'm at a loss for words so I simply say, "Okay."

He smiles at me and moves to get out of the car and then walks around to open my door. The restaurant he has taken me to is barely a restaurant, it's definitely the kind of place you have to know about in order to find. It's a tiny little place with eclectic artwork all over, it's small and cozy and most of the tables are outside because the inside is so tiny.

We take a seat outside and before the waiter can even ask us what we want, Fitz has ordered for us.

I give him a joking scowl; "I hate it when people order for me." I say, because I really do, it drives me crazy.

Fitz laughs at me, "Somehow I figured that, but I had to order the special for you because it's the reason I've taken you here and I couldn't risk you ordering something else." He says, his eyes pleading with me to forgive his tiny misstep.

I roll my eyes, "Fine, but just this once!"

"Deal." He says, his eyes glimmering at me.

For the next ten minutes we talk about how much we love the ocean, I find out that Fitz is a surfer too and that before he went into the Navy he spent a month surfing his way around Australia.

"So you _were_ kind of a rebel?" I ask him as he finishes a story of seeing a great white off the coast of Australia.

He laughs, "Absolutely not, I was the opposite, but when I joined the Navy after college my Dad told me that I should do something I always wanted to do before I had to leave, so I surfed around Australia. I'm not the world's best surfer, but I had a lot of fun."

I smile at him, I can see his eyes light up when he talks about surfing, it's clear he really enjoys it.

"I went to Australia once while we lived in Okinawa but I didn't get to surf, I didn't really get in to surfing until we moved back to California. I got into it a bit in Okinawa but not really until I was in high school and we left soon after. My Dad used to take me out when I was little and we were living in San Diego, he'd let me sit on his board while he surfed. I loved that." I say, getting nostalgic about the days of my childhood.

He smiles at me; "Maybe I'll take you there someday and we can surf together."

I smile back timidly, "I'd like that."

Just then our food arrives and I realize I never even asked him what he ordered, to my delight it is the most delectable-looking French toast I have ever seen. It's dripping in bananas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, powdered sugar and agave syrup and I can feel my mouth start to water at merely the sight.

"Are you still mad at me for ordering for you?" Fitz says, laughing at the awestruck expression on my face.

"Absolutely not, you are totally and completely one hundred percent forgiven." I say without taking my eyes off the wonder that is in front of me.

I did my fork into the soft and warm center and I take my first bite, it is even better than I could have imagined.

"Oh my god. This is so good I could choke on it and die and I wouldn't even care because it would still be delicious." I say, my mouth full of food. "How on earth did you find this place?"

"My Dad used to take me when I was a kid." He smiles at me and then begins to eat his food too.

"You talk a lot about your Dad but you've never mentioned your Mom, why is that?"

"My Mom passed away when I was ten, I didn't really know her that well."

"Oh", I say, I didn't mean to make the conversation so morbid. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

Fitz smiles at me and shakes his head, "Don't worry about it. It was a long time ago and I've been okay for a long time. My Dad was great and my Aunt really stepped up and helped us out, I had a good childhood."

I smile at him, "You are kind of remarkable."

"I feel the same way about you."

* * *

Hope you're all okay after that finale...I actually liked it minus the Liv leaving-that was just silly. I used to get really angry about that kind of stuff but this season I've been kind of just rolling with it and it seems to be working really well. I guess maybe in my head I'm just sticking with the idea that Olivia and Fitz are Scandal's MerDer. And also, I was a huge Tiva & Willicia fan so this past year I've learned to live with the fact that sometimes you can want something so bad and it just doesn't happen and you just have to deal. It sucks, but that's life I guess. I'm just counting on Scandal having a lot more seasons and eventually that means Olitz.

Sorry, that got gloomy. Anyway, thank you sooo much for reading. I really hope you enjoy this chapter! Leave me some nice reviews & follow me on twitter (hazelblye)? Please and thank you. :]

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	14. Chapter 14

"He had no plans, no definite intentions, except to kiss her lips again."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Four Fists

* * *

The last day of Quasar Con goes by like a blur, though even if I wasn't having a wonderful time I'd be giddy enough alone from every time we are sitting in on a panel or surrounded by hoards of people and Fitz decides to grab my hand and link our fingers. I normally hate holding hands; I hate getting sweaty palms and the awkwardness of not knowing what to with your other hand but this I like. I like holding Fitz's hand.

It's 7:30 by the time we leave and we have about a four and a half hour drive from Santa Barbara back to San Jose and as hard as I try to stay awake, I fall asleep for the majority of the car ride leaving poor Fitz to entertain himself as he drives. I wake abruptly at the feeling of a hand shaking me softly.

"Livvy." I can hear someone say my name.

I shoot up when I realize it is Fitz. I look out the window and see we are parked in front of my apartment complex.

"Shit, we're back already? I'm so sorry I fell asleep, I didn't intend to." I say, giving him my best apologetic face.

He laughs at me and moves his hand up to smooth out my mussed up hair. "It's okay, it was a big weekend and you've got work tomorrow. Your terrible boss is making you come in at 9."

"God, that guy's the worst." I say with a yawn.

He laughs at me and moves to get out of the car. I do the same and stand up to stretch while he grabs my suitcase from the trunk. He walks over to me with the suitcase in hand and I reach for it.

"No, I'll take it up for you." He says as he swats my hand away.

"You don't have to, I can get it." I say, stifling another yawn.

He chuckles at me and walks over to the building anyway.

I roll my eyes and catch up to him. We walk up the stairs and I lead him to the apartment I share with Abby. I didn't see her car in the parking lot, but I didn't get a good look, so I'm not sure if she's home.

Sure enough, I open the door and find her sitting on the sofa eating a bowl of soup and watching some crime drama on television.

"Hey, welcome back! How was Quasar Con you nerd?" She's half paying attention to me and half paying attention to the television until I turn around to make room for Fitz to come in.

When she sees him her eyes grow wide and she abruptly sets her bowl down on the coffee table, spilling a bit of its contents, though she doesn't seem to notice.

"Fitz this is my roommate Abby, Abby this is my boss Fitz." I say motioning between them.

Fitz looks up, "Hi Abby, nice to meet you. Liv's told me a lot about you." He says with a smile as he sets my suitcase down and steps over to extend his hand to her.

Abby stands up and takes his hand, awkwardly staring at him still. She somehow manages to say, "Likewise." And gives him a slightly less awkward smile before sitting back down, though she's still staring at him.

"I can get it from here." I tell Fitz, looking at him with my eyes wide in reaction to Abby.

For a minute I'm sure he's going to argue with me that he can take it into my bedroom but I am relieved when he doesn't, that would have been a little weird with Abby being here.

I walk him to the door and lower my voice so Abby has a harder time eavesdropping.

"Thank you for helping me with my suitcase and thank you for letting me be a part of this weekend. It was beyond anything I could have imagined." I'm definitely talking about Quasar Con, but I'm also talking about what went on between us.

He understands my subtext and winks at me, grabbing my hand in his own and rubbing the spot between my thumb and forefinger. "I'm glad." He responds and then heads back down to his car.

I stand on the balcony and watch him walk down until he gets to his car and waves to me; I wave back and then head inside.

I walk back in the apartment to a now standing up Abby.

"Holy fuck." She continues to stare at me. "That is the most handsome man I've ever seen in person. How the hell did you not communicate that to me?"

I laugh at her, trying to be casual so she won't suspect that I'm hiding something, and I grab my suitcase to take into my room. "I told you he was handsome you freak."

She follows me into my room, "Well, yeah you said he was handsome and I've seen pictures of him but they do not do that man justice, he's like a real-life version of a damn Disney prince!"

I'm still laughing at her as I set my suitcase down on the floor so I can begin to unpack my clothes. "You're ridiculous." I say to her.

"Shit, Liv, I would have such a hard time working for that guy and not thinking about jumping his bones twenty four-seven." She says as she flops down on my bed.

I lay down beside her; I'm too tired to unpack anyway. "Oh calm down, he's my boss. He's a cool guy, that's the only context I think about him in."

I'm glad she's not looking at me because I'm pretty sure it's totally obvious I'm lying as I say those words.

Going to work the next morning feels weird. I'm surprisingly well-rested, thanks mostly in part to Fitz letting me sleep for three hours in the car, but I've got more spunk in my step than just being well-rested would usually give. I get to the office and make my way into the building, stopping briefly to say hello to Harrison and having a short chat with him before I head over to my office. I assume Fitz is already at the office because he is usually there before everyone in the morning. I say hi to Martha and ask her how her weekend went and after a quick chat I walk over to my office. I look over at Fitz's door and notice that there is no light coming from the bottom.

It's as if Martha sensed my question because she looks over at me and says, "He's not here yet. He called and said he was going to be a little late this morning."

I give her a quizzical look and she shrugs her shoulders, indicating she doesn't know why.

So I enter my office and get started on my work, he's probably tired because he had to drive back last night. Whoops, I definitely feel a little guilty about that.

About a half an hour later I hear the unmistakable voice of Fitz greeting Martha. I smile to myself, I don't know why I'm suddenly so happy he's here, I knew he was coming.

I hear him head into his office a moment later and then I hear a knocking at my door. I smile to myself and decide to mess with him since he loves to do it to me so much, "Password please." I say, getting up and moving so that I am standing right by the door.

"Quasar Con?" He ventures a guess.

"Nope, wrong." I say, laughing to myself.

"Lt. Rory?" He guesses again.

"Wrong again." I tease.

"Please?" He says, to anyone else the word would just be a request but for us it's something different, I know he's referring to one of our conversations that took place in bed over the weekend and I smile as I open the door.

"That's correct." I say as I let him in my office.

I look up at his beautiful smile, for some reason he's so much more attractive when he's smiling just for me.

"Good morning." He says, taking a step closer to me and pulling me into his body, his lips softly cover mine and before I know it I'm pressing myself against him.

I pull back, "We cannot do that at work. Even though I'd really like to."

He smiles at me, "You're right, that wasn't a great idea, I just couldn't resist."

I grin at him and feel my face get hot.

He laughs at me and sits down in one of the chairs across from my desk so I move to sit down at my chair.

He leans forward and crosses his hands together. "I have a proposition for you." He states simply.

I lean forward, my brow furrowed in intrigue. "Okay."

"You can say no if you want to, my feelings won't be hurt, I just want to throw it out there. Feel absolutely free to say no." He's talking with a lot of hand motions and it's making me a little nervous.

"All right, noted." I say, now I'm just confused.

"As I was falling asleep last night I came to the conclusion that it might be a good idea for us to get to know each other a little better and so I was wondering if you'd like to spend the weekend at my house with me?"

He's got an adorable, hopeful smile on his face and I'm pretty sure I'm smiling like a loon by the time he's done speaking.

"Uh, yeah, yeah that would be good." I stutter out.

He's grinning wildly as he responds, "Good, good. That's just, that's great."

I laugh at him, seeing him anxious is new for me and I kind of find it adorable.

"So, Friday after work how about you come over to my house and you don't plan on leaving until Monday morning." He's now got a devious look on his face.

I roll my eyes at him but still can't help but grin, "That sounds good. Shit, wait I've got to figure out something to tell Abby." Crap, I completely forgot about my roommate.

Fitz frowns but perks back up a moment later, "Oh, why don't you just tell her you're going to San Francisco to visit your sister?"

"Yes! That's brilliant. You're not so bad in the deceit business yourself." I say, winking at him.

He laughs and then gets up to go back into his office. "I can't wait." He says, and then disappears behind the door.

I can't stop smiling as I sit, somewhat wonderstruck, at my desk.

Shit, what the hell am I supposed to wear?

The week has gone by painstakingly slowly and it is finally Friday. I'm back at the apartment for a little while before I head out to Fitz's house. Of course I still haven't packed yet, my clothes are strewn around the room covering everything and my suitcase is still practically empty.

Abby is lying on my bed finishing off a popsicle and being absolutely no help at all.

"Why are you freaking out about what to pack?" Abby asks.

I sigh, "Because I'm visiting Victoria and you know she works in fashion and I always feel like she's judging me if I'm not perfectly put together." I'm lying out my ass right now but of course I can't tell Abby that the real reason I'm freaking out is because I want to look mature for Fitz.

Abby shrugs, "Who cares what she thinks, you've got a great style Liv, just wear what you usually wear."

I roll my eyes at her, "Thank you soo much for the help Abby."

She laughs at me, "Okay, if you want mature go for those faux leather jeggings you bought a couple weeks ago. They make your legs look fantastic.

"Okay, that's good. Now you're helping." I say, grabbing the jeggings from a pile on the floor and grabbing the white t-shirt with studs I love to pair them with.

"All right, what about this skirt?" I say, holding up a long sheer black skirt with a solid miniskirt underneath.

"Oh yeah, that's great." Abby says, tossing in a pastel pink midriff baring top that will go perfectly with the skirt.

I toss in a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, two tank tops, some exercise stuff, and a long and cozy sweater and I'm good to go.

"Okay, I'm out of here. I'm heading to an art show. Text me at some point so I know you're alive and have fun." Abby says, giving me a quick hug and walking out of the room.

I wait for her to leave the apartment and I head to my lingerie drawer. I have already packed the normal undies and bras I will need for the weekend but I want to pack a couple sexy things to surprise Fitz.

I rummage through the drawer and pull out a pair of red lingerie. Jake gave these to me, the thought of which makes me shudder. For some reason I don't think Fitz would appreciate it if I wore lingerie another man bought me. I toss the lingerie out and find the one other piece Jake ever bought me and toss it in the trash as well.

I keep going through the drawer and I finally find two pieces I think he will appreciate, plus I bought them both myself and haven't had a chance to wear either yet so no awkwardness there.

This should be good and now I can finally leave and I can finally see Fitz again.

Thirty minutes later my GPS is telling me that I am almost at Fitz's house. He lives in an affluent suburb of San Jose called Los Gatos and I'm feeling pretty nervous as I drive through the town. It's kind of like an inland version of Palos Verdes, really large houses and lots of cutesy little shops. I drive further southwest and the houses have started to get farther and farther apart. My GPS finally announces that we have reached Fitz's street and as I turn I notice that there are no houses around except one in the far-off distance. I continue driving down the road and turn onto his driveway where I have to enter a code he gave me previously to enter through the gate. As I approach the house it just keeps getting larger. It's a beautiful Spanish-style two story home with an enormous porch that wraps around the side and extends along the back. I can faintly make out a large pool in his backyard and what looks like a basketball court off to the side. I pull up into the circular driveway by his door and a moment later he walks out. I put my car in park but I can't think about getting out just yet because I'm too enthralled with staring at him, he's wearing a pair of fitted jeans and a cable knit charcoal grey sweater. He's so very handsome; I really just can't get over that. He walks over to my car and opens the door for me.

"Welcome." He says, smiling at me as he extends his hand down to help me get out of the car.

I take it and step out, "Is it all right if I park here?" I ask awkwardly.

"Yeah, that's fine. Actually, maybe we can just pull your car into the garage, that might be better." He grabs the keys from my hand and gets in the car, "I'll pull it in." He says, shutting the door and motioning over to a vacant spot in the open garage where his little Mercedes sits. I notice that there are four more closed garage spaces next to the open ones where my little BMW now sits next to his Mercedes.

He gets out of the car and moves to get my suitcase out of the trunk and I walk further into the garage so I can get a look at the other cars, it's a completely open garage on the inside and there are three more cars sitting in there. I spot a Range Rover down at the end, a Ferrari, and a Tesla. I stifle a laugh; of course the only halfway practical car Fitz owns is a Range Rover.

He pulls my suitcase out of the car and we walk over to the front door and into the house.

"The garage connects to the house underground but I want to give you the full tour starting from the front of the house." He says, winking at me.

We walk in the foyer and it's absolutely breathtaking, it's two stories high with a beautiful glass ceiling so you can see through to the sky, the inside is also Spanish-style and decorated in beautiful shades of whites and tans and reds with pops of beautiful dark blues. He takes me through the first floor, which is quite extraordinary, and we head upstairs. We walk down a hallway to the room at the end and when he opens the door it takes my breath away, not the bedroom itself, which is of course fantastic, but the gorgeous blue and green artwork hanging all over the walls. Some are abstract and some are fantastic pieces of art depicting what I know for a fact is County Kerry in Ireland.

I walk over to one, "This is gorgeous."

He walks over to me, "I thought you'd like this."

He lets me stare for a while longer and then we walk over to the balcony. It is an amazing view of his yard; the pool looks like it could have been modeled after the Alhambra in Spain and all I can see for miles behind it is trees and hills. "Do you hike a lot?" I ask.

"Yeah, we can go this weekend if you'd like?" He looks over at me, his eyes are sparkling.

"I would love that." I say, silently thanking myself for bringing a pair of tennis shoes and some workout clothes with me.

Fitz made dinner and we ate in relative silence, just making small talk about work. I think we're both a little unsure of how this is going to work and therefore we are both acting with caution. After dinner he suggests we watch a movie and I agree, it will give me the chance to focus on something else and bring my anxiety level down.

He takes me down to the basement where he has a home theater, of course, and he lets me choose a movie. I pick Almost Famous and we settle into these outrageously comfy reclining chairs. About an hour into the movie I can't even focus on it anymore because all I want to do is kiss him. Sadly the only downside to these amazing chairs is that the armrest doesn't go up so I can't lean over to make out with him. I try to focus on the movie for a few more minutes but I just can't, being alone and having him so near to me gives me that familiar ache between my legs and I want him too badly to worry about anything else.

I get out of my chair and get into his, straddling myself over his legs. He looks a little surprised when I bend down to kiss him on the lips. I break away a moment later and he looks a little surprised.

"I wanted to kiss you." I shrug, looking him in the eyes.

He's a little breathless but manages to respond, "I'm okay with that." And with that he pulls me back down to him and kisses me deeply, our tongues dueling and our bodies pressing together, pleading for more contact.

He sits up and grabs my bottom with both of his hands and presses it into his pelvis and I groan. His hands find their way up my shirt and pull it over my head. Without missing a beat he notices my black lace bra and he groans, moving his head down to kiss the valley between my breasts. I am moaning in pleasure as he moves over to give my taunt nipples some attention, his lips are so talented, I don't even want to know how he acquired this skill but I'd like to thank the girl who clearly helped him figure out exactly what to do. He stands up and his lips leave my nipple to come back up to my mouth.

"Bedroom." He mutters in between kisses.

"You don't want to fuck me in this chair?" I tease.

"I'm forty three years old, I stopped having sex in chairs a long time ago." He quips between kisses.

"Well how about the fantastic sofa in your living room?" I ask, grinning wickedly at him.

"Next time, but this is first time we are having sex in my house and it's happening in my bed and also it's late and I'm old and I'll probably fall asleep when we're finished." He says, breaking the kiss long enough to look me in the eyes.

I laugh, "Your body is so great that I forget you're from the stone-age."

"Oh really?" Fitz says in amusement, "Well just for that I'm going to give it to you so good that you're going to be denouncing god and forming a religion around me when I'm done." He says in mock seriousness.

"Oh, by all means, please do that." I say to him, covering his mouth with mine once again.

He carries me with incredible ease up two flights of stairs and into his room.

He slams the door shut and instead of taking me straight to the bed he pushes my back up against the door and starts to undo the button on my jeans. I put my legs down on the ground and he slides my pants and underwear off me in one swift motion. I realize that I am completely naked save for my bra and he is fully clothed so I decide to start taking off his shirt. I pull it up and slide it off his body as we continue to kiss with me up against the door. I slide his shirt off his arms and he shakes it off and then moves his hand between my legs and starts to massage me. I am now moaning uncontrollably and I can barely stand because the magic he's working with his hand feels so good.

Suddenly he scoops me into his arms and takes me over to his bed. He lays me down in the middle and then pulls me so my bum is on the edge and pushes my knees upward so my feet are resting flat on the bed. Then he goes to work with his mouth and I am overwhelmed with pleasure. I'm glad we're alone in the house instead of back in the hotel room because I can be as loud as I want to and not worry about anyone hearing me. He moves his hands so they are under my legs and around my hips in order to keep my legs open and my body somewhat still. I'm moaning his name over and over and his mouth just isn't stopping. I feel my orgasm come and it shoots pleasure through me. He rides the waves of pleasure out with his fingers and then brings his mouth back up to my lips.

"Oh. My. God." I sputter. "I'm already ready to denounce god and start worshipping you. That was incredible." He grins cheekily and starts to unbutton his pants, tossing them and his briefs on the floor of the room.

"Are you ready?" He asks as he positions himself between my legs.

"Can you just give me a minute?" I ask, I'm still completely out of breath from that first mind-blowing orgasm.

"Of course." He says and he leans over me and starts to kiss me deeply. I can feel his hardened member against my thigh and suddenly I'm completely ready again, I need him inside of me right at that moment.

"Okay." I mutter between kisses, "I'm ready now. I'm ready."

He pauses for a moment and looks into my eyes, "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I beg, "Yes, please."

He grins wickedly and then lines himself up against my entrance and pushes in. Even though this will be our fourth time having sex I am still getting used to how much bigger he is than Jake and I gasp as my body adjusts to him.

It's like he knows this and he starts out slow and steady as my body accommodates him. A moment later I am fully ready and I breathlessly tell him, "Harder."

He looks into my eyes to make sure I mean it and a second later he grants my request and it feels so good that I can see stars. Our bodies are pressed together as they move and one of his hands is on my backside, pushing my body into his so our rhythm is perfect. I can feel everything building inside of me, he leans backward and grabs my right leg, hooking it over his shoulder, the change in position is thrilling and I arch backward and grab the pillows. Several thrusts later I feel a wave of pleasure hit me like a ton of bricks and I can feel myself getting dizzy, he pumps himself into me three more times and then lets go, releasing my leg and collapsing on top of me, kissing me lazily as we both come down from the high's we've just experienced.

He rolls off of me after a moment and pulls me into his chest, his lips never once leaving my own.

"That was extraordinary." I say through breathless kisses. "I am completely ready to denounce all religion that does not involve worshipping you."

"Funny," he says, "I was thinking the same thing."

We lay there quietly for a little while and I look up at him and run my hand through his fantastic hair. "I want to ask you a question, but I'm not sure how you'll react." I say timidly.

He gives me a confused look, "Why are you afraid about how I'll react?"

I sigh, "Because you don't talk about this much and I don't want you to get mad at me for asking about it."

He looks at me as if he's a little hurt by my lack of faith in him, "Livvy, you can ask me. I promise I won't get upset with you." He moves his hand to my face and he strokes my cheek.

I sigh again, "All right. But keep in mind that this is unprecedented for me so if I'm over stepping my boundaries please inform me."

He nods, still looking very confused. "Okay, I can do that."

"It's just…you were married once and I just…I want to know about your marriage." I finally blurt out.

He frowns, "Okay, I think that's fair, what do you want to know?"

I'm pretty relieved, he doesn't look mad at me, so I start to ask my questions. "How old were you when you got married?"

"We were both twenty-eight." He says, not breaking eye contact with me.

"How long did your marriage last?"

"Three years." He says, still stoic as he looks at me.

"Why did you get divorced?" I ask cautiously, I'm a little nervous about this question.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, looking away from me for a moment before he turns back and answers. "She cheated on me."

"Oh," I say, unsure of how to react, "I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, "Don't be, it's not your fault. It's her fault, and it's my fault too. We were growing apart and I just didn't care, I pushed her away and she retaliated. It happens."

I frown, "That doesn't make it hurt any less. Just because you were growing apart doesn't mean it was your fault, you were faithful, when you marry someone you agree to be faithful no matter what. You didn't decide to cheat; it's not your fault."

He gives me a small smile, "Thank you."

I smile back at him, "Was she beautiful?"

He laughs, "Why on earth would you care about that?"

I can feel the blush creeping up on my cheeks, "I don't know…I just do."

He laughs again, "I used to think she was beautiful, but then I met you and all my previous notions about beauty were thrown out the window."

I bush again, "Stop messing with me."

He lifts my chin up so I'm looking at him again. "I'm not messing with you. Not even the slightest."

I look into his eyes, he looks deadly serious and it's making me a little uncomfortable, but honestly I've always been uncomfortable about my looks.

"Okay." I say slowly, "Do you miss her? Do you still see her?"

He smiles at me again, "No to missing her, I used to miss her but then I realized that the person I was missing hadn't been around since college. And as for seeing her, she moved to Los Angeles and got remarried about five years ago. We're cordial with each other when we meet, but it only happens about once every two years or so. I don't hold anything against her anymore, I've moved on and so has she and I'm happy for her but I'm also happy for me."

I have two more questions that I absolutely need to know, "Did she ever live in this house with you?"

He laughs, "No, I promise. I started building this house when our divorce was finalized."

I think I felt my whole body relax, having sex with someone in a bed where his wife used to sleep is pretty weird, I'm glad that's not the case.

"Okay, one more question, did you ever get serious with anyone in the last twelve years?" I'm biting my lip because I'm a little nervous about this question.

"Honestly, no. I dated a few different women and went on a lot of dates but I never got serious with anyone. I just didn't want to settle anymore, if I was going to get serious with someone I had to feel a spark and I just never felt that with anyone."

He's staring at me unabashed and I'm pretty sure my cheeks are beet red because I can feel the heat building up in my face.

"I apologize if I'm being too forward, but I haven't been truly interested in someone for a long time. And I'm not exactly a young man, I like you and I'm interested in you and I'm not about to waste any more time not having you."

I lean forward to kiss him again and then cozy myself up to him and drift off to sleep.

* * *

Hi guys! Sorry I missed posting this yesterday, the website would not let me for so long. This is the first time I've had internet since I left last night. Also, I won't be posting tomorrow because I know I won't get a chance to access any wifi. I might post on Monday but I'm getting home really late so I don't know if I'll be in the mood. Maybe if you leave me a bunch of nice reviews I'd be more inclined to...wink wink! haha Sorry, that was me shamelessly asking for reviews because I really do love them! Anyway, thanks for reading! I do appreciate it more than you know!

Reviewer who posted about how hair doesn't just turn curly when you let it dry wet...I envy you greatly because I assume you were blessed with straight hair! My hair is a curly mess, I can get out of the shower and the instant it even begins to dry it starts to turn into one gigantic curly mess! Also, I mentioned that she partially dried her hair, so she had to put in a little effort. lol

OH, so I'm not normally the kind of person who would reply to an annoying comment like this but seriously, reviewer who posted about Africa...please never, ever tell me how to address Africa ever again. Liv's family in this story is sort of based off my family and my family is FROM Africa. And I simply say AFRICA because although the majority of my family lives in South Africa, I also have relatives in Zambia, Mozambique, and Botswana and when we visit we never just travel to one country. In this story, Liv's experience of Africa is basically my experience and in a few chapters you'll get to learn more about her experiences there and what she did when she lived there for six months. So don't try to "correct" me about something you don't know the backstory to, it's fucking obnoxious.

Thanks for reading, sorry about the above paragraph to everyone who wasn't that one obnoxious reviewer, I love the rest of you dearly, I was just really annoyed by that person's comment.

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	15. Chapter 15

"She saw him the first day on board, and then her heart sank into her shoes as she realized at last how much she wanted him. No matter what his past was, no matter what he had done. Which was not to say that she would ever let him know, but only that he moved her chemically more than anyone she had ever met, that all other men seemed pale beside him."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, A New Leaf

* * *

I wake up the next morning to the sun streaming in through the gorgeous bay windows of his bedroom. If I didn't love it last night, I'm officially in love with it right now. There are no lights on in the room; pure sunlight is illuminating everything. That includes Fitz's gorgeous body. I run my hand down his chest, I've stared at him before but in this perfect sunlight his body is like an open book to me. My hand runs down his chest and stop right at the edge of the sheet, which is barely covering his manhood. I move my hand up but then bring it back down and pull the sheet away, might as well get a good look at him in the daylight. I smile to myself, put the sheet back up, and walk my hand back up his chest and into his hair. I'm really into his hair, maybe it's because I've only ever dated guys with dark hair, but the texture and color of his hair is just mesmerizing. It's so soft and I love its slight curl. I don't know if it's because his soft, light brown hair is literally the opposite of my wiry black locks, but I'm obsessed with it. His eyes start to flutter open and he sees me and starts to grin.

"Were you checking me out again?" He asks cheekily, startling me slightly.

I blush but respond with the truth, "Absolutely, you know, you're kind of beautiful."

He leans in to kiss me, "_You're_ beautiful."

I smile and run my hand down his bicep, good god it feels wonderful.

"So since you got a good look at me, I get to look at you." He says, grinning like a madman.

Suddenly I'm shy, "Oh, Fitz come on."

"Fair is fair."

I roll my eyes and lie back on my pillow, covering my eyes with my arm.

Fitz starts his little journey of the body at my head and slowly pulls down the sheet I have clinging to my breasts. He pulls the sheet down gently and stares at me, I know my cheeks must be crimson. He sits up and rips the sheet away so that I'm completely exposed and kneels between my legs. His hands run up and down my thighs and I can feel my whole body start to tingle. I look to the side because I don't want to look him in the eyes right now. He leans down over me and turns my head back to face him.

"Why are you so self-conscious?"

I look him in the eye but I don't know what to say, so I shrug.

"You're so beautiful Olivia. Absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful and I wish you weren't embarrassed by me looking at you."

He runs a hand down my body from my face to where I want him most and I gasp when his fingers hit just the right spot. He shifts himself so that his head is now in between my legs and I've decided that this is obviously the best way to start off any morning.

His mouth knows exactly what to do to make hot waves of pleasure hit my body. I am clinging desperately to the pillow as I try to keep my lower body still as his tongue does one incredible thing after another and my orgasm hits me like a train. It's a glorious feeling, I've never had a guy who's gone down on me so consistently and I love it. He kisses his way back up my body and finds my mouth, pressing his naked body against my own. I can feel his erection against my stomach and the desire starts to pool between my legs all over again. He breaks the kiss for a moment and asks me, "Can I turn you over?"

I nod my head, I'm a little disappointed but I'm not going to show it, I don't really like doggy style, it's always made me feel kind of dirty. But I want him to enjoy this too and so I turn around and prop myself up on my hands and knees. He grabs me around the waist and says, "No Livvy, lie on your front."

I look back at him and I must look confused because he gives me a reassuring smile.

"Trust me, Livvy." He says softly, running his hand down my bum to the inside of my thigh as I make myself comfortable lying flat on the bed.

Fitz grabs a pillow and slides it under my hips to prop them up slightly. I grab another one and grasp my arms around it so it's propping up my upper body as well.

Fitz parts my legs and situates himself in between them. He lines himself up with my center and I expect him to stay upright but I am surprised when he enters me and presses himself up against me. His mouth kisses my shoulders and one of his arms grips around my stomach while the other intertwines with mine on the bed to keep his balance over me. He starts to move and I gasp and have to press my arms down onto the bed as I adjust to the deep angle. He moves slowly at first, no doubt to let me get used to the angle. It's a little painful at first but quickly becomes so enjoyable that I couldn't contain my moans of pleasure if I tried. He starts to move faster and reaches his arm around and pushes my hair to one side so that he can kiss my neck before finding its place around my waist again. I turn my head so that I can capture his lips with my own and surprisingly the angle doesn't feel awkward. I am so close that my body is starting to shake; he can feel my readiness and picks up the pace. I scream as I feel my release and a moment later I hear his deep grunt in my ear as he lets go too. He collapses onto me and although his weight above me is keeping me in my place, I don't mind because his body on top of mine feels like a safety blanket. We are still intimately connected and he makes no move to remove his now soft member from inside me. He is breathing heavily in my ear and I can feel his heart rate gradually slow down as he's pressed so tightly into my body.

We pant together and catch our breaths and after several moments he pulls out of me. I pout at the lack of contact and turn around so that we are facing each other and wrap my arms around his body and start to kiss his chest and his neck. After a moment he pulls my head up and starts kissing me, deep, open-mouth kisses that are making my desire build up again already. He runs his hand down my buttocks and squeezes; one thing I've learned about Fitz is that although he loves boobs like any straight male, he's definitely more of a butt man. He breaks our kiss and pushes my hair back out of my face.

I look him in the eyes, "I've never had sex in that position before, it was fantastic." I say, grinding my pelvis against him making him groan. "It was very intimate, I've never experienced sex in a from behind position that felt intimate, usually it just makes me feel like a hooker." I say with a laugh.

Fitz pulls me closer to him and hooks one of his legs around mine. "I'm not interested in non-intimate sex. I don't want to sleep with anyone I don't feel a deep connection with. If you're ever uncomfortable with anything, please don't be afraid to tell me Livvy."

I smile at him and give him a light kiss, "I trust you. And I'll tell you if I'm uncomfortable but I want to do the things you want to do so even sometimes if I'm uncomfortable I don't want you to stop because if it feels half as fantastic as that did, I'm completely at your mercy."

He laughs and pulls me to him, we cling to each other in silence for a little while and it's not at all awkward, it's comfortable. We lie there for a little while when Fitz gets up, "I'm going to draw a bath, wait here." He says, walking over to the bathroom in all his naked glory. A few minutes later he walks back over to me, still naked, and I smile as I scan my eyes down his fantastically fit body. He laughs at me because he knows I'm checking him out.

"Come on, Livvy." He says with a laugh, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of bed to lead me to the bathroom. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. All whites with gorgeous gold accents and the bathtub, oh lord the bathtub, it is the most glorious thing I have ever seen. It's more like a small pool than a bathtub. There are jets bubbling and it smells heavenly but that isn't even the best part, the best part is that it's one of those sunken in bathtubs that you step down into like you're walking into a Roman bath or a spa at a luxurious tropical resort.

Fitz leads me into the bathtub and he sits down first, pulling me down so that I am lying on top of him. I can feel the uncomfortable stickiness between my legs dissolve almost instantly in the soapy water. My muscles relax and I let out a deep breath as I sink backward into Fitz.

He runs his hands down my arms and finds my hands, intertwining our fingers. I cross them over my body so that we are held together tightly and Fitz lightly kisses my shoulder.

"Can I ask you a few questions?" He asks, his mouth being so close to my ear is giving me chills.

I smile, "I think that's only fair."

"So why don't you have a boyfriend?"

I stiffen up a little but he kisses my shoulder again and that makes me a little more comfortable.

"Well, I did but I just realized we weren't right for each other. It's been kind of a hard breakup, he doesn't really understand that it's over." I really hope Fitz doesn't dig too deep into this because it's not exactly what I want to talk about.

I can feel him smile against my shoulder, "I don't blame him, it would be awful to lose you."

I pull his arms tighter around me. "So how many boyfriends have you had?" He asks.

I grimace, "Only two."

I turn my head around because he hasn't responded and I laugh because he looks kind of shocked. "What? Why is that such a surprise?"

Fitz laughs, "First of all, have you seen you? How is that possible?"

"I don't know. I'm not a prude. I had one boyfriend in high school and I had one boyfriend in college. It's not like I've only slept with two people."

Crap, I kind of wish I hadn't said that.

He's grinning at me now, "So how many people have you slept with?"

I sink down further into the bath and try to deflect the question, "How many people have _you_ slept with?"

Fitz laughs, "I'd be happy to tell you my number but you have to tell me yours first." He teases.

I scowl at him, "Fine, I've slept with five people, oh wait I didn't include you in there so I guess it's six."

"Five people, you're embarrassed about five people?"

"Six and well no, not really. I just…I don't know I want you to think that I'm easy. I mean, I did sleep with you almost immediately after we kissed for the first time."

Fitz laughs and pulls me back toward him and kisses my cheek. "I absolutely do not think you're easy, you are crazy Olivia Pope. So who were these conquests?"

I roll my eyes, "You're a dork. Okay, the first one was my high school boyfriend when I was 17. It was kind of terrible but it got better. Then my first month of college I had this minor thing with a guy on my floor but it ended quickly. Number three was the boyfriend I told you about earlier. We dated on and off for six years. The fourth was a guy I met while we were "off" and I was studying abroad, that only happened a few times. The fifth was a guy I met one summer I stayed at Berkeley and was an "off" summer with said boyfriend, it was just sort of a casual thing. I've never had a one-night stand though, I'm oddly proud of that."

"See, you're not easy."

I smile and oddly I do feel much better now that I've put it all out there and I let myself sink back into him. "Okay, now you have to tell me your number."

Fitz sighs, "My number is eight, you are my eighth."

I sit forward in the tub and look back at him, "Eight? That's it? How is that even possible? Have you seen _you_?"

Fitz laughs, "Well the first was my high school girlfriend, the second was my ex-wife, and numbers three through seven were little relationships I had in between my divorce and meeting you."

"You really take this seriously, don't you?" I say as I run my hand along his bicep.

"I've just never been the kind of person who can have meaningless sex. It's just not me."

"So this means something." I say quietly, it should be a question but it comes out more of a statement.

"I think this may mean more than just something." He whispers quietly.

I don't respond verbally, instead I just take his hands in my own and pull them across my body. I think he's right, this may mean a lot more than just something.

A little while later we get out of the bath and we get ready for our hike. My hair is all frizzy and curly from the warm water but I don't mind because I'm oddly comfortable with Fitz already.

"Ready to go?" Fitz asks. He looks undeniably sexy in his workout clothes, his curly hair is out of control from the hot water as well but he pulls off the look.

We head off up the hill and we hike along the beautiful trails for a good hour before Fitz stops us. We are at the top of a hill, it's a fairly small one but I understand why he wanted to show me this spot when I turn around and catch a glimpse of his house in the distance. "Oh my god, Fitz. This view is gorgeous. Your house looks like something out of a fairytale from here."

I take out my phone and snap a picture. I'd love to post this to instagram immediately but obviously that can't happen.

"Come here." I say, waving him over to me. "Let's take a picture of ourselves."

Fitz laughs at me but he acquiesces my request. He stands next to me, squatting down a bit so that he's not so much taller than me, and he surprises me when he grabs the camera from my hand.

I shoot him a glare and he shrugs his shoulders, "I have longer arms."

I laugh; I can't deny that he's right. I put my arm around his waist and press my face against his and he counts down until he snaps the picture. I step forward to look at it and it's a cute one despite our disheveled, sweaty appearances.

"One more." I say.

He counts down again before he takes the picture but on three instead of smiling he plants a kiss on my cheek.

I giggle and I grab the camera from him, the picture actually turned out really cute.

He grabs the phone back from me so he can look at the picture but then he starts doing something else.

"Hey, you better not be deleting that!" I say as I grab for the phone.

Fitz pulls it away from me so I can't reach it and he uses his other arm to pull me flush against his body.

"I'm not deleting it, I sent it to myself because I like it and I want a copy of it."

I can't help but grin as he pulls me in for a kiss and then breaks away far too soon for my liking.

We eat our lunch and then make our way back to Fitz's house. We enter through a gate into the pool area and I'm about ready to plop myself down on one of the lounge chairs. I drop my small backpack down and throw my phone onto the ground with it and before I know it I am being catapulted into the pool and my body hits the cold water. It's kind of refreshing but at the same time I'm completely shocked because I wasn't expecting it. Fitz jumped in right after he tossed me and he is standing next to me in the water laughing his ass off.

I turn to him, "I am going to kill you." I throw myself at him and try to dunk him under the water but I'm not strong enough and he's tall enough to stand so all I manage to do is crawl all over his shoulders.

He is laughing hysterically as he pulls me over to his front and he starts to kiss me. I can't help but kiss him back. I wrap my arms around his neck and his arms find their way around my torso and my bum. We just stand there in the water kissing for several minutes when we have to break for air. He rests his forehead against my own and we are both breathing deeply. I run my hands through his wet hair and he does the same, pushing mine out of my face.

"Hi." He says quietly.

I can't help the goofy grin that has formed on my face, "Hi." I say back to him and in this moment I could just stay here forever.

We manage to drag ourselves out of the pool a little while later and decide we should shower separately so we actually shower instead of just getting distracted.

It's almost dinner time when I get out of the shower and Fitz must have finished getting ready before I even finished showering because I can already smell something cooking downstairs. I decide that I want to look nice for dinner so I grab the sheer skirt and pink crop top from my bag and I put them on. I decide to dry my hair just a little bit but leave it curly because I know Fitz likes it that way. I slip on a pair of wedges and I make my way downstairs.

I pause at the entrance to the kitchen so that I can watch Fitz. He's got Paul McCartney's newest CD on and he's singing along and dancing as he cooks. He looks gorgeous too, his hair is still kind of wet and his curls are totally untamed by product, he's wearing a white linen button up shirt that's rolled to his elbows and he's wearing a pair of dark blue jeans.

After a moment he notices me but he doesn't stop what he's doing, he just motions me into the room and when I get close enough he grabs my hand and pulls me in close to him and starts to sing along in my ear, "Everybody seems to know what they are talking about. And I can see why it is. They got someone breaking them out. Someone finding the key. Someone setting them free. Could you be that person for me? Would you feel right setting me free?"

I press my face into his shoulder because I'm a little embarrassed but at the same time I like the feeling. After a moment I pull away, "So what are we having for dinner?"

"We are having this salad thing that isn't really salad, it's more like a bunch of veggies and feta cheese and olives chopped up and thrown together with some dressing. I swear it tastes much better than I'm making it out to sound."

I grin at him and lean back against the counter.

"I'm also making these potato wedges with parmesan and a few spices on them."

"Can I do anything to help?" I ask.

He grins, "Nope, just sit right there at the counter and relax."

I see the place settings and wine glasses are already set out at the counter so I walk around and take a seat in the high chair.

"So do you cook often?" I ask him as I watch him finish up our food.

"I do, I'm not the worlds greatest but I do enjoy cooking, although I'm usually cooking for myself so it's nice to cook for someone else for a change." He says, turning around and winking at me which makes me blush profusely.

I grab the wine glass next to my place setting and take a sip and of course it's delicious. I continue to watch Fitz cook, it's pretty entertaining and he looks very happy while he's doing it. A few minutes later he serves us and sits down next to me. He turns to face me and raises his glass, "To being happy."

I smile as I clink my glass against his, I am completely happy possibly for the first time in my life.

We eat our dinner and chat, its comfortable and easy with Fitz but I don't know why I expected it to be anything else. It's always been easy with us, we've been working together for six months and we have a rhythm, it's never forced, it's just nice and simple and easy.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" He asks as we clean up the dishes, "We could watch another movie or we could play a game or really whatever you want to, I'm all right with anything."

I shoot him a devious smile; I have an idea of what I want to do. "Do you have any ice cream, I'd love some dessert?" I say as I run my hand down the front of his shirt.

Fitz grins at me as if he knows exactly what I'm thinking. He turns around and retrieves some vanilla bean ice cream from the fridge. "This is all I have." He says, setting it on the counter and grabbing a spoon from the drawer.

I move closer to him and open the lid of the ice cream and then I pick the spoon from his hand. "This will do just fine."

I dip the spoon into the carton and I bring it up to my mouth seductively, licking the spoon strategically as Fitz gets closer and closer to me. He grabs the spoon from my hand and he gets himself a bite and immediately presses his mouth to mine, the cold from the ice cream feels so strange but so good against my lips. He breaks away and he dips the spoon in the carton again and he lifts it up in front of my face. I stick my finger in the ice cream that's melting on the spoon and I lick it off my finger. Fitz then tosses the spoon down on the counter and grabs my hand, pulling my finger out of my mouth and putting it in his own mouth. I groan, I don't know why this is getting me so hot but it is. He slowly pulls my finger out of his mouth and he moves in so that his mouth is hovering over mine but he won't press our lips together and instead he places kisses along my jaw.

He starts kissing down my body and lifts me up so that I am sitting on the counter. He slides my skirt up my legs and grabs for my underwear, tearing it off me in one quick motion. I unbutton his pants and I slide his zipper down and reach my hand into his boxers. He pushes my body closer to the edge of the counter and thrusts into me swiftly.

The ice cream is sitting on the island, probably melting, but I really don't care. My head is propped up against the cabinets behind me as Fitz pumps in and out of me all while running hot and wet kisses down my jaw and neck. My knuckles are white from gripping the counter. He is in total control and I absolutely love it, I've never enjoyed a man taking charge as much as I enjoy Fitz doing it. I finish fairly quickly and he comes soon after.

We both try to catch our breaths and his hands are running through my hair. We're just smiling at each other, it's not awkward and I don't want to run away, I'm comfortable.

Fitz helps me off the counter and without a word he grabs my hand and leads me upstairs and we get ready for bed.

We settle in for the night and while flipping through the channels I find Top Gun and we decide to just finish it.

I am nuzzled into his side and one of his arms is underneath me while the other is gently stroking my arm.

"I'm not used to this." I say quietly, breaking our comfortable silence.

"Sleeping with an old man?" Fitz jokes.

I laugh but answer seriously, "No, sleeping with anyone. I rarely stay the night, I've always hated it but with you I don't want to run away."

Fitz lifts my chin up and kisses me softly, "I'm glad you don't want to run away from me, but if you ever do just know I'll probably chase you."

I laugh but I reach up to pull his face back down to mine and kiss him again. He gently pulls me up his body and we begin the dance we're coming to know so well.

* * *

The song Fitz was singing is called "Alligator" and it's from Paul McCartney's latest album NEW and the entire record is absolutely amazing.

Thanks everyone for reading and for leaving me such nice comments over the weekend! I hope you all had a good holiday and I appreciate you all taking the time to read my little story! Thank you!

And reviewer Lorra, you might think curly hair is a blessing but I don't and that's my right. I love my curly hair most of the time but it also frustrates the hell out of me because it's hard to deal with and rarely cooperates. I'm allowed to think having curly hair is frustrating and it's not appropriate to try and tell another person what they should or should not believe.

Dear lord that was a stupid thing to comment on. Haha sorry, I'm so tired! Anyway, seriously thanks for all the reviews! I'll be posting another chapter tomorrow so be on the lookout and thank you for reading! Leave me some love pretty please?!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	16. Chapter 16

"They were still in the happier stage of love. They were full of brave illusions about each other, tremendous illusions, so that the communion of self with self seemed to be on a plane where no other human relations mattered. They both seemed to have arrived there with an extraordinary innocence as though a series of pure accidents had driven them together, so many accidents that at last they were forced to conclude that they were for each other. They had arrived with clean hands, or so it seemed, after no traffic with the merely curious and clandestine."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night

* * *

I wake up the next morning and notice that I'm draped over Fitz. I try to move off him and I notice that he's already awake.

"Sorry Fitz, you should have just shoved me off you."

"Shove a beautiful, naked woman off of me? Yes, that will never happen."

I smile and sit up so that my face is closer to his. "I don't want to get up. I don't want this day to be over. I don't want to go back to my apartment." I whine.

Fitz turns to face me, "I thought you were staying until tomorrow morning?"

I shake my head, "Fitz I can't do that. Abby thinks I'm in San Francisco and she'll never believe I woke up early enough tomorrow to get to work on time from SF. Plus I need to drop off my things and get my work clothes."

Fitz groans and wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. "Livvy, you can't leave."

He nuzzles his face into my collarbone and I wrap my arms around his head, running my hands through his beautiful, silky curls.

"So I hate to be _that_ person—especially this early in the morning but—what exactly are we doing here? I mean, I know we said we were seeing where this was going and getting to know each other and I don't mean to be a buzz kill, I just need to know _what_ we are."

Fitz looks up at me, "I'd like it if you were my girlfriend, would you?"

I am now grinning like an idiot, "I'd like that too."

"So…I'm your boyfriend then?"

I laugh, "You're my boyfriend." I love the way that word comes off my tongue but at the same time it's a little funny to describe Fitz as my boyfriend. It seems like such a juvenile term and he is definitely not juvenile.

Fitz laughs, "That was the easiest "conversation" I've ever had."

"Me too." I say, softly kissing his lips.

"But we can't let anyone at work know that we are dating." I say with a sigh.

"I suppose you're right. It's probably for the best, at least for right now." Fitz suddenly lets out a huge groan, "I'm going to have to pretend like I haven't seen you naked, god that's going to be so hard."

I burst out laughing, I love that Fitz never fails to make me laugh.

He's smiling at me but he suddenly gets serious again, "I'm going to have to watch men hit on you and be unable to do anything about it, unable to tell them to back off because you're mine."

I reach down and intertwine my fingers with his, "I don't want anyone else. All you have to do is remember that, remember that I am yours and you are mine."

Fitz smiles at me, "Okay, I can try to do that." And he leans in to kiss me.

When he pulls away a moment later I look over at the clock on his bedside table and I am a little surprised at what I see next to it. I don't know why I haven't noticed it until now, I guess I just never paid any attention, but the little elephant I gave him for his birthday is sitting next to the clock.

"The elephant." I say quietly. "You put it next to your bed?"

He looks down at me and smiles, "Yeah, I told you it meant a lot to me."

I touch his face softly with my hand and run my fingers down his jaw. "Has it always been there?"

"Since the day you gave it to me."

I bite my lip, "So, all this time?"

Fitz runs his hand along my neck and collarbone. "All this time."

I lean in and kiss him lightly but his tongue finds it's way into my mouth and soon enough I'm lost in him once again.

Several hours later Fitz and I are sitting on his living room floor playing a card game and talking about anything and everything.

"Okay, how old were you when you had your first kiss?" I say, we've been trading stories all afternoon.

Fitz smiles, "Okay, I was thirteen and it was with Hayley Murray and it happened during this birthday party and we were playing seven minutes in heaven. It was a pretty decent first kiss. Now you tell me yours?"

I lean back on the chair and place my cards over my mouth for a moment while I think. "Well, I guess I'd have two stories. The first was when I was eight and my friend Wade Cohen was moving and he came to say goodbye and he gave me a necklace and then he kissed me. But sometimes people say that doesn't count so I guess my first real romantic kiss was when I was fifteen years old and I was spending the summer in the United Kingdom with a student group and one night we had gone to this play and stayed out late and we were standing in the streets of London and talking and Justin O'Neill, the guy I'd had a crush on the whole trip, he just grabbed my hand, pulled me toward him and kissed me. It was pretty great actually."

Fitz is staring at me, "Do you still have the necklace?"

I burst out laughing, "Would you be jealous if I did?"

He scrunches up his face in an absolutely adorable way, "Maybe."

"I actually did have it up until a couple years ago. I lost it studying abroad, I was wearing it and it must have broke somewhere in Thailand because it just disappeared."

"Do you still talk to either of them?"

"Occasionally, online and stuff like that but I haven't seen either of them in years. Do you still talk to Hayley?"

Fitz laughs, "I haven't seen or talked to her since middle school."

"That's kind of cold Fitzgerald, I mean ditching her after she was your first kiss. Not cool!" I try to say this seriously but I can't help but start to laugh.

Fitz just grins at me and shakes his head.

"All right, my turn. So when you went to Africa during your year off in between undergrad and grad school, what made you want to do that?"

"Well, I had planned on taking a year off in between undergrad and grad school anyway and as my final semester ended I just realized that I would go insane if I had to go back to LA. I mean, the whole point of me taking the year off was to get experience and start writing all the time and just sort of hone my skills so that when I applied to school I would be completely ready. And I suddenly realized that nothing in LA was going to really inspire me, so my parents suggested I go stay with my Aunt and Uncle in Cape Town and I liked that idea so I just decided to move down there. I got a job as a tutor and I really enjoyed working with all the kids but that job was only for the summer months and that was when I got a call from my other Uncle who lives in Lusaka, Zambia asking me if I wanted to come up there and work for him. He's a doctor and he has an actual practice but he also runs a HIV/AIDS clinic and so I volunteered for the clinic and well, I guess you read about that if you read my portfolio."

Fitz grins at me, "I did and I think that was a very selfless thing to do."

I shake my head, "I don't know, I don't know if I really believe in selfless good deeds. I mean, you're always getting something out of it, aren't you? Yeah, I enjoyed helping the people at the clinic and I know they needed it but it also made me feel good about myself and it gave me good writing material. I don't know."

Fitz just sits there smiling at me for a moment, "I think that you don't give yourself enough credit. So what, you did a good thing because you wanted to, yeah it was a resume builder but there are a million other things that are resume builders. Maybe selfless people don't really exist but that doesn't mean there aren't good people out there and I believe that you are a good person."

I'm seated across from him on the floor, opposite the coffee table we are playing our card game at but I want to move closer to him so I set my cards down and I scoot over so that I am leaning against his arm. My arms are clutching his elbow and my head is resting against his strong shoulder.

"Thank you." I say quietly as Fitz moves his arm so that he can wrap it around me, pulling me closer into his chest.

"So I take it you fold." He says running his hand along my side and making my skin tingle.

"Yes, I'm hungry."

He turns his head toward me and he grins, leaning in for a quick kiss. "Mhh, so what are you hungry for?"

I push him away playfully and laugh, "I'm actually hungry, as in for real food." I say as I stand up and grab his hands so I am pulling him up with me.

Fitz groans, "All right, I guess we should probably eat some real food. What are you hungry for Ms. Pope?"

He leads us into the kitchen and opens up the refrigerator.

I spot some pasta in there and grab it, "Pasta, but this time I am cooking for you."

He gives me one of his rare and beautiful, thousand watt, Fitzgerald Grant grins. "I can handle that, but I'm making us a salad." And he leans in to kiss me and we both start to prepare our food and it's just…it's easy and it's never felt this way with anyone else.

A couple hours later Fitz and I have made our food and eaten it and we are now sitting on the amazing outdoor sofa on his patio and we are just talking.

I look at my watch for what must be the first time all day and it is almost 7 PM. "Crap, Fitz I really need to get going in the next hour or so."

He groans and reaches over to me and pulls me closer into his side. "Don't leave. Just stay here with me. We can call into work tomorrow; we'll just make something up. I don't know, my brain goes all goofy around you—especially when you wear pants like that—so I can't think of an excuse right now but I will. Just stay here, stay with me."

"Fitz, you have no idea how much I want to but you know we can't."

He sighs and leans in so our foreheads are touching, "I know. I'm sorry, I know I'm being irrational."

I smile up at him, "It's okay, I like that you want me to stay."

"So what do you want to do until you leave?"

I don't respond verbally and instead give him a wicked grin and grab his hand, pulling his body so that I am now lying back on the sofa and he is now positioned in between my legs. He pushes my knees up and he runs his hands down my thighs. He gently lays down over me, his pelvis meeting up with mine and I can feel his hardness through his jeans. He starts to kiss my lips and his hands roam all over my sides and all over my breasts and I am so intoxicated by his touch that I can barely breathe.

His hand is now dancing at the waistband of my pants and I groan when he finally pushes them down my body, taking my underwear with them. He sits up and pulls my pants off quickly and relieves himself of his own shirt. I lean forward and start to unbutton his pants and thankfully he takes over for my fumbling fingers and slides them off his body. He kisses his way up my stomach and pulls my shirt over my head before going right back down to my breasts with his talented mouth. He manages to take my bra off in one quick motion and I can't help but lean into him when he takes my breast in his mouth.

"Oh my god, Fitz." I moan. His hips are grinding into mine and I can feel him pulsating at my entrance and I can't wait.

I reach down to guide him into me and he moves so that he is sitting upright as he gently pushes himself into me. He moves his body over me once again and his lips cover mine as his body finds a rhythm that has me moaning and panting his name. He wraps his arms around my neck and he buries his face in my neck as he picks up his pace.

After a little bit he sits upright again and pulls me up with him so that he is sitting upright with his back against the sofa and I am now straddling him. I start to thrust and he matches my thrusts and his mouth is all over my neck and his hands are all over my body and I'm so over-stimulated and I can't take it any longer. I let go and I see Fitz grin, "Yes, Livvy, let go." I am thankful that a few minutes later he finds his own release because I don't know how long I could have taken it. I bury my head in his neck and he is running his hands up and down my back and holding me close to him.

I sit up a little bit and run my hands over his chest and his arms, he is incredibly fit.

He leans his head back on the sofa and brings his hands up and runs his hands through my hair. "I like waking up to you. I'm going to miss it tomorrow."

I look at him and run my hands through his soft hair, "Me too."

He pulls me in for a kiss, "I don't think I'm going to be able to go another week without you."

I laugh, "You won't be without me, we work together silly."

Fitz rolls his eyes and wraps his arms around me as he pulls us both down so that we are lying on the sofa. "Don't get smart with me Pope, it's not cute." He says, attempting to be serious.

But I just start to laugh, "Yes it is."

He smiles and pulls me flush against his body, "You're right."

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer and I'm slightly surprised when his hand finds its way between my thighs again.

I squeeze them tightly together but it just makes him laugh, "Fitz stop, you are going to get me all hot and bothered again."

Now he's kissing my neck again, "That was my plan."

He turns me so that I am flat on my back and start to kiss his way down my body until his mouth lands in between my legs.

"Oh god." I moan as he goes to work, "Fitz…I…" and I can't even finish my sentence because all coherent thoughts have left my brain.

A little while later we are cuddled together underneath a throw blanket and although it's almost time for me to leave, I just can't move.

"Fitz, I should get going." I say quietly.

"Okay." He responds and yet makes no effort to remove his arms from around my body.

I laugh and wiggle my way out of his grasp, "Fitz, I'm serious. You have to move and you also have to get up and put your clothes on because I'm pretty sure you aren't going to sleep out here all night, buck naked under the stars."

He props his head up on his hand and he looks at me, his beautiful blue eyes are burning with desire and I can feel it all rising within me once again. "I'd do it if you stayed."

I laugh as I grab my clothing from the ground and put it back on. "Maybe another weekend."

Now he sits up and he grabs for his pants on the ground. "So you'll come back next weekend then?"

I pull my shirt over my head and stand in front of him, running my hands through his hair as he runs his hands along my backside and thighs. "I'd like to but my roommate would be very suspicious of me if I disappeared again. Plus I promised her that we would have a girls night out as penance for ditching her this weekend."

Fitz's body stiffens up at the mention of 'girls night' and he abruptly stands up. "Girls night out as in dressing in scantily clad outfits, going to bars and getting wasted, random creeps buying you drinks and checking you out, _that_ kind of girls night?"

I start to laugh, "Well, you don't make it sound too appealing but add a little karaoke in there and that's pretty much what happens."

But Fitz doesn't find it amusing. "No. That's not going to happen."

"Excuse me?" I'm completely confused by the direction this conversation has taken.

Fitz picks his shirt off the floor and puts it back on but takes a step away from me. He crosses his arms and looks at me like he's deadly serious, "I'll buy you tickets to a play or a concert or something else that doesn't involve sweaty boys leering at you and clouding your judgment as they buy you alcohol."

I'm kind of shocked at his reaction to this but I'm also kind of pissed. "First of all, you do not get to tell me what I can and cannot do, second of all thank you so much for assuming that a few alcoholic beverages turn me into a whore."

"That's not what I meant." Fitz growls, his arms still crossed at his chest as he stares stoically at me.

"Well then please enlighten me as to what you meant by that because all I heard was 'Olivia I don't trust you to not whore around.' If you think that little of me why do you even want me?"

He looks hurt now, like I've just struck a chord somewhere. And then I remember—he got divorced because his wife cheated on him.

"Oh my god, Fitz, I'm so sorry. I didn't…I didn't mean that I just…I'm…god I'm sorry." I plead, taking a step forward so I am a little closer to him but I'm also too afraid to step any closer because I'm scared he's going to reject me.

He shakes his head, "It's not your fault. Don't apologize. You haven't done anything wrong. I do trust you and it's unfair of me to project my insecurities onto you like that, especially when you've never given me a reason not to trust you."

I take a step closer to him and I am relieved when he doesn't reject my touch. I wrap my arms around his torso and he wraps his around mine and I rest my head against his chest. "I will wear pants, a top that doesn't show a lot of skin and I will be the designated driver, does that make you feel a little better?"

I hear him chuckle quietly in my ear, "It does, thank you. I do trust you though; sometimes I just let my insecurities get the best of me."

"It's okay, Fitz. Just remember that I don't want anyone else, I want you."

He kisses the top of my head, "Thank you, Livvy."

After a few moments I reluctantly pull away, "Will you help me put my things into my car?"

He grins and grabs my hand, "Of course I will."

An hour later I walk into my apartment to find Abby sitting in the kitchen reading a book. I try to suppress a groan as I pick up my suitcase once again and drag it to my room quickly before heading back to the kitchen to greet Abby. I'm starting to feel so sore between my legs that walking properly is going to be a real struggle come tomorrow.

I gingerly sit down on the chair across from her and greet her as cheerfully as I can manage. "Hey. Abs, how was your weekend?"

She holds up a finger indicating she needs one minute to finish the page she's on.

I roll my eyes and laugh quietly; Abby and I are the same in that when we get focused on a book it's incredibly hard for us to tear ourselves away.

A moment later she looks up and shuts the book. "Sorry, I had to finish the chapter." She gives me her guilty look and I just laugh, "Don't worry about it. How was your weekend?"

She shrugs, "I painted a bit and went out with Quinn. I think I might still be hung over. I've been reading all day. How was your weekend with Victoria?" When she asks how my weekend was I spot a weird glimmer in her eye like she's hiding something.

I give her a confused look before I start to speak, "Oh you know, it was fun. We just hung out. We went hiking and did some shopping, the usual."

Now she's grinning at me like a damn Cheshire cat and I'm completely confused.

"So you didn't go to a Lady Antebellum concert?" She asks.

I frown, "Um, why do you ask?" Shit, I think she knows I wasn't with Victoria over the weekend, but how the hell would she know?

"You sure because Victoria posted this instagram update last night, "Lady A with girls", she narrates as she shows me the picture on her phone.

"Fuck, when did you get instagram?" I ask, shit, the one thing I can always count on with Abby is her total aversion to any social media sites.

She shrugs, "Oh, just Friday night after I got back home after the show. I thought it would be a good idea to post my artwork there."

I scramble to find a legitimate excuse. "Um, I was taking the picture?" I venture, knowing full well she's not going to believe me.

"Bullshit." She says with a laugh. "You weren't with Victoria were you?" She is still grinning like a madman.

I jump up out of my chair, forgetting how sore I am, and I can't hide the wince as I stand up straight.

Abby jumps out of her chair in excitement when she catches my wince. "Oh my god, you're fucking someone!"

Her eyes light up, "Oh my god, are you fucking Harrison? I KNEW he wanted to fuck you!"

"No! Oh my god eww, he's like my brother!" I yell, a little too forcefully.

She stares at me silently for a moment and then her eyes light up with that same glow they had a moment before. "Holy shit. You're fucking your boss."

I don't know how to react to this, she's totally right, and for some reason I can't bring myself to lie to her. I'm not sure if it's because she's my best friend and I feel guilty lying or because I'm kind of relieved because I really want to talk to someone about what's going on with me and Fitz.

I can't respond, all I can do is stare at her helplessly. Abby is grinning wildly at me and I know she understands that my silence is her confirmation.

"I made Malibu popsicles over the weekend, I think we need these and then you are going to tell me everything." She says, grabbing the alcoholic popsicles from the fridge and handing one to me.

I take the popsicle and I nod my head. We head over to my room and lie down on the bed; this is how Abby and I have always had deep conversations since our sophomore year of college.

I slowly lower myself on the bed, even my abs hurt from this weekend.

Abby laughs at me, "So how much sex did you have this weekend."

My head hits the pillow and I sigh in relief, "A lot. A lot of sex in a lot of different places."

"Damn. Honestly I'm pretty jealous of you right now. How the heck did this start?"

I exhale deeply, "Quasar Con."

Abby sits up, "Are you fucking serious?! I knew he was looking at you awfully strange for someone who is just your boss."

I laugh, "Yeah, it started the last night of Quasar Con." I say with a smile.

Abby lets out an extremely loud laugh, "Jesus Christ, Liv, only you can get manage to get San Jose's most eligible bachelor to fuck you at the nerdiest event on earth."

I laugh at her comment; I didn't even think about how nerdy I must have looked to him, obviously he liked that though.

Once she stops laughing she speaks again, "So, is he good?"

"Abby!" I shout, almost dropping what's left of my popsicle on my bed.

"Oh, come on, we always tell each other about this stuff. You know you want to." She has turned to face me while she speaks; I turn my head a little bit and roll my eyes at her pleading.

I turn my head to look back up at the ceiling and I start to grin. "He's the best I've ever been with. I mean, the man knows his way around a female body. And he doesn't just _visit_ your…downstairs…with his mouth, he sets up camp there and doesn't leave until you're finished." I'm blushing a little bit as I speak because I'm imagining Fitz's head between my legs and it's getting me a little excited.

Abby sits up, "He goes down on you every time you fuck?" She looks like she's in shock.

I laugh at her baffled expression, "Not every time, but most of the time."

She lies back down, "Holy balls, I thought that was an urban legend."

I laugh again; it's nice to be able to talk to Abby about this.

She turns over to me again, "Do you have feelings for him or is it just sex?" She's deadly serious now, Abby sat by my bed for three days while I cried about Huck so she knows how badly I can spiral when bad things happen and she's very protective of me.

I have finished my popsicle so I set the stick down on my bedside table and I turn my body so I am facing her. "I really like him, Abby." I say, completely stoic and serious.

"Does he know that?" She asks, I can see that she's nervous by her facial expression.

I nod, smiling, "He does, we talked about it this weekend. He was actually the one who initiated the conversation."

Abby smiles, "That's good. You deserve someone who likes you just the way you are."

I smile back at her; I know she's referencing Jake. Abby has always resented the fact that he tried to "fix" me.

I pull out my phone and flip to the pictures of us on the hike.

She looks at them and her eyes are wide when she looks back at me, "You look happier than I've seen you look in a very long time."

She looks down at the picture again, "I don't know him very well but he looks really happy too. You kind of look like two fools in love."

I tense up as I grab my phone back from her and Abby notices and laughs, "Sorry, I didn't mean to use the "L" word, I know how weird you are about it."

Abby is referring to the fact that while I've talked about being in love with people I've never actually said the words 'I love you' to any of my past relationships. Jake used to tell me he loved me and I used to respond 'me too' but I've never actually said those three little words to anyone other than family members and my best friends.

It's like Abby reads my mind. "Have you officially ended it with Jake?"

I frown, "No, I was going to do it last weekend but I really want to officially end it in person. I mean, I'm not cheating, we are not together, we said we were taking a break so we could see other people and figure out who we are outside of each other."

"I know, sweetie. I know you're not cheating." Abby says, grabbing my hand and reassuring me.

I smile at her; it's nice to have a friend who is always on your side.

"I think it's a good idea to talk to him in person, I mean you have a hard enough time getting through to him then, it would be nearly impossible on the phone." She says, rolling her eyes.

I laugh, she's completely right, calling Jake would help nothing in this situation, he's too stubborn to listen.

Abby gets up, "All right, sweetie. I need to head to bed, you should too, wouldn't want to make your boss angry." She says with a wink.

I laugh, "Goodnight, Abby. I love you."

"I love you too, nerd."

* * *

GUYS! THANKS FOR READING! I might be a tad drunk again...I promise I don't usually make a habit of this. It was a holiday weekend and then today a friend I hadn't seen in a year was in town. I promise you I don't have a problem! lol Anyway...thanks for all the nice comments! I've just decided to stop responding to people making idiotic comments. Like, honestly there are actually people who choose to nitpick about things that aren't even in the story?! I mean seriously, how pathetic can you get?! Anyway, I'm just going to ignore them because 99% of you are freaking awesome and I adore you all and I appreciate your support more than you know! Please leave me some reviews because they seriously fuel my writing fire! Thanks so much!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	17. Chapter 17

"How I feel is that if I wanted anything I'd take it. That's what I've always thought all my life. But it happens that I want you, and so I just haven't room for any other desires."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned

* * *

I walk into the office Monday morning and I'm extremely uncomfortable. I'm wearing a skirt because it seems to be more comforting and I'm suffering through my high heels because I know people would think it was odd if I wasn't wearing them. I manage a few quick 'hellos' and 'how are yous' to the several co-workers I pass and then collapse in my office chair the minute I walk in. My thighs have never hurt this much in my life. A couple minutes later I hear a soft knock at my door and I smile because I know its Fitz. He pokes his head in the door and his thousand-watt smile lights up when he sees me.

"Good morning, beautiful." He says, entering in the office and shutting the door. Before he sits down he checks to see if the main door is shut and then makes his way over to me. He sits himself down on top of my desk and he just sits there, grinning at me.

I manage a somewhat peppy looking smile at him, "Good morning." I'm so tired, for some reason I just couldn't get to sleep last night.

I notice that he looks tired too. "Did you sleep well?" I ask.

He frowns and pulls my chair closer to him with his foot, making me giggle, "No, I slept terribly. I couldn't get comfortable without you there."

His statement makes me blush and it's only heightened when I realize that the reason I couldn't sleep probably has something to do with the fact that he wasn't there either.

I smile at him, "I think that was my problem too."

This makes him smile back at me. He then stands up and grabs my hands, pulling me out of my chair. I wince at the pressure put on my thighs.

He steps back, looking alarmed. "Livvy, what the hell was that? Are you all right?" He looks very concerned.

I grin wickedly, "_That_, is because my thighs are blasted from trying to play sex catch up after six months of celibacy."

His look of concern quickly changes into a look of animal pride.

"Since that's my fault I would be happy to give you a massage." He says, his eyes gleaming with trouble and his hands roaming down my backside and pushing me closer to him.

I can feel all the blood rushing to my core and I move to take a step backward but instead I find myself being turned around and scooted onto my desk. Fitz runs one hand through my hair and starts to kiss me. I know we shouldn't be doing this at work but right now I don't really care because his mouth is so damn talented. His other hand has somehow managed to push my skirt up to my thighs and is now venturing further up my skirt. It caresses the inside of both my thighs and then he moves upward along my hip and grabs at the waistband of my panties.

I reluctantly pull my lips away from his and move to his jaw and start placing light kisses there, in between them I say, "Honestly, I'd love for you to take me right here on my desk but I really don't think this is the right time for that.

He groans and the hand that was playing on the hemline of my underwear slowly makes its way back down my thigh and resurfaces outside of my skirt as Fitz pulls away.

He leans into me so that our foreheads are touching, "Will you come over tonight?" He asks quietly.

I look into his eyes and give him a genuine smile. "I'd really like to but I have a couple things to do around my apartment that I've been putting off for the past couple weeks."

He gives me a childlike pout and I start to laugh at him.

I take his face in my hands and run my fingers down his smooth face. "You could come over to my apartment if you wanted to?"

He gives me a confused look, "What about your roommate?"

"She doesn't get home until around nine or ten on Monday's because her gallery goes through the submissions they receive on Monday's and redo their exhibits. Plus she knows what's going on with us." I say, concentrating hard on Fitz's face when I say the last part of that sentence because I'm not sure how he's going to react.

He furrows his brow as he contemplates what I've just said, "How does she feel about this?" I'm a little surprised at his question; I thought for sure he was going to ask me how she found out.

I give him a small smile, "She's happy for us as long as you don't hurt me."

This makes Fitz grin and he pulls me in for one more kiss. "Okay, your place it is."

That minute the door to my office opens and Harrison barges in, Fitz abruptly takes a step backward and puts his hands in his pockets and my hands immediately fly to my skirt and make sure it's straightened properly.

"Morning Liv." He says brightly before he notices Fitz. "Fitz, hey boss."

Fitz and I both say good morning to Harrison and he gives us a strange look. Fitz takes this opportunity to excuse himself and walks back into his office.

Harrison watches Fitz leave and then turns around to look at me, "Are you guys okay? He looked kind of pissed."

I sigh in relief that Harrison is reading this situation completely wrong. "Um, yeah he's just frustrated, it was nothing." I say with a smile.

Thankfully Harrison just brushes it off and plops himself down in a chair and starts to talk to me about the account he's currently working on.

A little while later I'm working by myself and I realize it's lunchtime. I pop my head into Fitz's office and see that he's working diligently at his desk.

"Hi." I say shyly.

He notices me in the doorway and his mouth forms a huge smile as he sees me. "Hi." He says.

"So…I was going to go to lunch and…yeah that's actually all I was going to say."

Fitz gets up from his desk and laughs at me.

"Well, Ms. Pope I think I am going to go to lunch as well."

"Okay." I say with a smile and we walk out of the office and down to the break area where the lunch cart is already making the rounds.

We are standing in line and Fitz orders while I am still deciding on what to get and he goes to sit down. I order and go to pay for my food but the cashier tells me it's taken care of.

I am a little confused but I turn around and see Fitz sitting at a table on the open patio and laughing along with a few other employees—one of whom is Lauren—and I know he's paid for my food.

I head over there and sit down at the table, of course the only open seat is right next to Fitz. I sit down slowly but make sure to not show any emotion on my face regarding my sore thighs because I do not want anyone asking me any questions.

He turns to me and smiles as he continues talking about whatever they were all talking about before.

I sit back in the chair and just watch as Fitz interacts with his employees. He's laughing and joking and everyone feels comfortable around him. Everyone in the office looks at Fitz with admiration and it's not hard to understand why, Fitz is definitely the kind of guy anyone would aspire to be.

I am brought out of my daze by an elbow to my shoulder, it's Lauren, "Earth to Liv, are you there?"

I look over at her, "What? Sorry, I just spaced."

Lauren is looking at me like she doesn't believe me, "All right, you are coming to my office after lunch is over."

We finish up and Lauren drags me back to her office under the guise of showing me a mock up for a client. We get to her office and luckily everyone else is still at lunch or doing other things because we are alone.

"All right, what's going on with you? I can't get a read off you, you look happy but at the same time you look annoyed. You are confusing me."

I laugh, "I'm fine, really it's nothing."

Lauren starts to laugh, "Okay, you are MIA all weekend, you don't answer any calls or texts and you are totally absent from all social media, then you show up at work this morning looking weirdly happy and then you get weird and quiet. Something is going on with you, don't lie."

Her eyes get wide, "Did something happen with Fitz?" She whispers.

"Lauren…" I plead.

She steps forward and braces her arms on my shoulders. "Liv, talk to me."

I look up at her, I really want to tell her but I know I can't. "Lauren...I can't, not here."

She nods her head in understanding, "Okay. It's okay Liv. But I do need to know one thing, are _you_ okay?"

I clasp my hands over her elbows, "Trust me, I'm _very_ okay. I'm just trying to figure this all out."

"Later." Lauren says as she nods her head and then turns around so we can get back to work.

A little while later I am walking down the hallway to my office when I hear Fitz call my name and tell me to wait for him. He finishes talking to the person he is with quickly and then he comes over to where I am waiting for him.

He smiles at me and we begin to walk back to our offices together and I feel his hand creep up and lightly touch the small of my back as we walk.

I take a few quick steps so that his hand drops away and I walk briskly into my office and he follows me.

"Livvy, what was that?"

I stand on the opposite side of the desk from him and I cross my arms over my chest. "Fitz, you can't do that at work. You can't buy my lunch you can't touch me for no reason, it's suspicious."

He laughs and makes his way over to me but I step behind the chair so that he can't get any closer.

Of course that doesn't even stop him and he just slips behind me and wraps his hands around me.

I attempt to escape him but he pulls me back and his hands start to wander over my body as his mouth finds my neck.

One hand reaches up to cup my breast and the other is splayed over my stomach and I'm starting to feel things I should not be feeling at work.

The hand on my stomach slowly inches toward my pelvis and I'm sure there's just heat radiating from his hand because my legs are getting wobbly and my breathing is starting to get shallow.

"Fitz, please stop. We cannot do this at work."

Thankfully this time he stops and pulls back.

I catch my breath and I turn around, placing my hands on Fitz's chest so that I can hold him at arms length.

"Fitz, please you cannot do this at work. We decided that we weren't going to tell anyone and you feeling me up in my office is just asking for someone to barge in on us."

Fitz sighs, "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm going to do better, I promise. I'm going to go into my office and I'm going to keep my hands to myself for the rest of the work day."

I laugh as he holds up his hands in surrender. "Thank you." I say, watching him walk toward his office door.

"I can still come over tonight though, right?"

I laugh, "Of course you can. 'Hands off' only applies to work or work-related events."

The rest of the day Fitz behaves and after work he heads back to his house to get his overnight things and I head out to the grocery store so I have food for dinner.

I get home and quickly throw together a pasta salad before Fitz arrives and I start heading to my bathroom so I can change my clothes but before I even get out of the kitchen I hear a knock at the door.

I groan, I wanted to put something cute on before Fitz got here. I turn around and walk back toward the door and open it to Fitz and his gorgeous smiling face.

"Hi", he says and I am kind of in shock that he's actually standing in my doorway.

"Hi" I say back, running my hands through my hair and hoping I look decent.

He didn't change his clothes either; he is still wearing his suit and tie from today at work so that makes me feel a little better.

"So do I get to come in?"

"Oh, um yeah sorry. Come on inside." I say, ushering him into the kitchen.

"Are you going to give me a tour?" He asks, a devious grin forming on his face.

I shoot him a confused look, "You've seen my apartment before."

"Just barely, I want the full tour."

I roll my eyes, "Well, it's nothing compared to your Los Gatos hillside Spanish palace."

He laughs, "I don't care, I want the tour."

"Okay, well this is the kitchen. Not much happens here." We walk into the living room.

"This is our living room, pretty basic, um," I lead him into the hallway, "Abby's room is to the right and this room is the bathroom. It's pretty small but we have a decent shower. And then to the left is my room."

"Can I see it?" He asks suggestively.

I don't answer; I just walk into the room and wait for him to follow me.

I grab his hand and take his bag off his shoulder and set it on the floor next to my bed. He starts to walk around my room and assesses everything. He gets to my desk and sees the elephant that is the mirror image of his own except that it's purple instead of blue. He touches the elephant lightly and I see his cheeks rise as he smiles.

"I like your room. It's very understated, very you."

I take a few steps toward him, "Thank you and thanks for being so cool about coming here. I know it's probably not exactly where you'd like to spend your time but I appreciate you being here."

"Any place I get to be with you is okay with me. And why wouldn't I want to be here? I like being in apartments, it reminds me of college, makes me feel young again."

I roll my eyes, "You are always commenting about how old you are and I realize that you are seventeen years older than me and that is fairly significant but you aren't that old. I mean forty-three for a guy is like being thirty-three if you're a girl."

Fitz laughs, "What?"

"Yeah, you know like some people think women who are in their thirties and aren't married are either crazy or they are lesbians but if a man is in his forties and not married people just think he's taking his time or waiting for the right person or getting a solid career. It's a bullshit double standard."

Fitz is now cracking up, "What people think that?"

"People! Not all people obviously, but even with me, I swear when I turned twenty-five everyone started asking about when I was getting engaged. It made me so angry."

"You don't want to get married?" Fitz asks, his voice is jovial but his eyes are serious.

Crap, I walked myself right into that question.

"No, I mean yeah I do eventually but I'm not ready right now. I want to get my career started and I want to be able to support myself. I need to be able to be independent before I get married, I would hate to marry someone and then one day realize I only did it because I was dependent on that person."

Fitz gives me a small smile and puts his hands in his pockets but continues to look me in the eyes. "Olivia Pope doesn't need a knight in shining armor."

I smile, "I just never felt like the girl the guy got at the end of the movie."

He is just staring at me now with a knowing smile on his face and it's making my cheeks feel warm. I avert my eyes and I stare at my feet, suddenly I'm very aware of how short I feel next to him without my heels on.

"Um, so what about you, do you ever want to get remarried?"

He sighs, "I really do. At least now I do, for a while there—when my divorce was still fresh—I was angry and I thought I'd never want to do it again but as I learned to let go of my anger about it I realized that I did want to do it again but I also was going to make damn sure that the next time I did it that it was going to last."

"Why did you get married?" I blurt out; my mouth seems to be disconnected from my brain because while I want to know, I don't really think that was an appropriate question. "Fitz, I…I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that. Let's just…let's go eat." I say, scurrying out of the room.

Fitz follows me out of the room and grabs my hand, pulling me over to the sofa and sitting us both down on the sofa. He places one hand on my knee and the other is on my neck, turning my head so that I am looking at him.

He smiles at me and I feel slightly reassured.

"Hey, don't apologize. You're my girlfriend; you get to know these things. I _want_ you to know these things. Don't ever be afraid to ask me anything about my past." His thumb strokes my cheek as he speaks and the motion along with his words quells my fear.

I nod my head and give him a small smile and place my hand over the wrist of his hand that is on my cheek.

He leans back into the sofa and he pulls me back with him. I am still wearing my skirt and blouse from work so I'm not going to be able to get too comfortable. But it's like Fitz reads my mind and he grabs my legs and swings them over his lap and hooks his arm around my waist so that his arm is now my backrest.

I grin up at him and drape my arm around his torso, casually sliding my hand under his suit jacket and I softly start to trace my fingers over his abs.

Once we've settled in he repeats my question, "Why did I get married? Well, we were college sweethearts and I thought I was in love with her. That's the short version I guess."

He takes a deep breath and then he continues talking. "The long version is that we were college sweethearts, we met freshman year and we had an on and off relationship but she stuck by me while I was in the Navy and she was supportive of me when I took that journalism job where I'd have to be traveling around Africa. Then when my father died and I moved back and I took over the company I just felt like it was what I was supposed to do. She stuck by me so I should do the right thing and marry her. I think neither of us realized how profoundly different we were from when we met ten years earlier. And it took three years of marriage for us to realize that we weren't in love with each other."

"Do you regret it?" I ask quietly.

He takes a moment before he responds, "No, I don't regret it. I learned from it and I guess I just want to believe that if that had never happened to me I might not be where I am today."

He looks down at me and runs a hand along my cheek so I am looking up at him. "And then maybe I would never have met you."

I can feel the blush creep up on my cheeks and Fitz brings his lips down to mine and he begins to kiss me. I reach my hands up and grab his face, running my fingers through his hair.

His one arm is still wrapped around my torso supporting my back but his free hand is busy making surprisingly quick work with the buttons on my blouse. He gently moves me so I am lying down on the sofa and now that he has my blouse mostly unbuttoned his hand goes to the hemline of my skirt and starts to find its way up my thigh.

I hate to ruin the moment but I suddenly realize that I have to pee.

I push him up and off of me and he looks very confused.

"Sorry, I really have to pee."

He laughs and lets me get up and I run to the bathroom to relieve myself. I fix my skirt and straighten my blouse in the mirror and then realize that was silly because they're just going to get messed up again.

When I open the door Fitz startles me a little bit because he's standing right in the doorway. Before I can say anything his mouth is on mine and he's pressing me up against the sink.

"You have no idea how badly I've been longing to do this for the entire day." He purrs into my ear as his mouth makes its way down my neck.

I slide his jacket off his shoulders and he deposits it on the floor. I start to undo his belt and his pants and his mouth is now on my collarbone and I cannot contain my moans of pleasure.

He pulls away and he turns me around, his hand is around my neck, turning my face so that our lips can meet once again while his other hand reaches down and pulls my skirt up and around my waist. Then with one firm yank he tears my underwear off and tosses it somewhere on the floor.

He grabs my hips and he positions himself at my entrance and slowly enters me and I reach my hand back and realize that his pants are still up and only just unbuttoned because apparently we can't be bothered to slow down enough to properly take our clothes off. I'm bent against the sink, my hands gripping the countertop as I use it to steady myself from Fitz's thrusts behind me. His chest is pressed hard against my back while one of his hands cups one of my breasts and the other is splayed between on my lower abdomen keeping me on pace with his rhythm. His mouth is moving along the back of my neck and to my earlobe when the pressure becomes too much and I let go, screaming out his name in the process. In a few more pumps he lets go of himself and we both collapse to the floor. We lay quietly on my bathroom rug for a few minutes, catching our breath before we speak. I turn around to face him and see that his tie is still on. I bring my hands up to his neck and start to untie it and in that moment our eyes lock. We probably look ridiculous, he's still in his tie, his belt is still on his pants and they are just hanging open by the zipper. My skirt is still pushed up around my waist and my ripped underwear is somewhere around here, my own oxford shirt is still on but unbuttoned so that my breasts are practically falling out of it. Even though this would look like a strange sight to anyone else, all I can focus on is how handsome Fitz looks. He looks his age, but not in a bad way, in a way that makes him defined and sophisticated. He has tiny wrinkles around his eyes that give him a serious look and the depth I see in his eyes makes me know he has seen a lot in his life. I love to stare at him like this but it makes me nervous when he stares back, I'm so much younger than him that I'm afraid he'll one day look at me and realize how dreadfully little I've experienced in my life and realize that I'm just not good enough for him.

In that instant, he grabs the collar of my oxford shirt and pulls me over to him, covering my lips with his own and without realizing it, quelling my fears for the time being.

"We should probably go eat." He says referring to the pasta salad I told him I stuck in the refrigerator about forty minutes ago before we got distracted.

I smile at him and move one hand upward to caress his face. "I need to change first."

He nods in agreement, "Me too."

We reluctantly get up off the floor and head to my bedroom. He grabs a few things from the duffle he's brought with him and heads back into the bathroom and I start to rummage through my drawers for something to wear.

Ten minutes later I've found the skimpiest spandex shorts I own and throw on a loose fitting sweater and I waltz out into the kitchen. Fitz finished changing before me and has the pasta salad sitting on the table that he's already set.

He looks up at me when I walk in, "You have got to be kidding me." He says, dead serious, as he can't keep his eyes off me.

I walk to the cabinet to grab two glasses and I grin to myself. Before I can reach up to get the glasses I can feel his body close behind me, his hands start on my hips and then work their way up to my breasts, he takes them in his hands and he groans as he feels my bralessness through the thin fabric and starts to rub his hands along my nipples making them taunt and causing me to lean back into his chest. His hands then make their way back down my body and stop at my hips, right along the waistline of my shorts. His hands dance around my waistline for a moment before plunging into my shorts, one hand heading for my center and the other making its way around to my backside. The hand in back cups my backside while the hand in front lightly hovers over my center until he abruptly withdraws his hands from my body.

I turn around, frowning at him as he moves to the sink to wash his hands and gives me a wicked grin, "It's time to eat."

I scowl at him; even though I know he's right, and head to the refrigerator to grab ice cubes and the tea I bought earlier.

We sit down and eat our food while making small talk about our days. It's about 9:30 and I'm getting sleepy but I don't want to go to bed just yet.

We clean up the dishes and then head into the living room. Fitz looks really sexy in his pajama pants and t-shirt and I really just want to cuddle with him.

I flip on the tv and we find a random show to watch.

After a little while Abby arrives home. I hear the key turn in the lock and a few minutes later she comes into the apartment, dramatically dropping a few bags on the floor.

It's clear she doesn't know Fitz is here because she starts talking to me like I'm alone.

"Oh my god, Liv I had such a terrible day. I almost shattered this stupid sculpture because the lines from the ceiling weren't properly attached, then I spilled paint all over my tan suede pumps, and then somehow I managed to snag my brand new sweater on something. And to top it off Jake won't stop sending me texts about you." That's when I freeze and pray that Fitz isn't listening closely to what she's saying.

She continues, "Can you please just text him to confirm to him that you're alive? He's driving me fucking crazy. Seriously Liv this day is just…" And that's when Abby walks into the den and notices Fitz and I lying on the sofa together.

She gets a devious grin on her face, "Well, well Liv, bringing work home with you now?"

I roll my eyes, "Hey Abby."

"Liv. Hey Fitz, how are you?" Abby says, a little too sweetly so that it's almost creepy.

"I'm well, how are you Abby? It's nice to see you again."

She smiles, "You too and thanks, I'm beat. So Fitz, you realize how awesome this girl is, don't you?" She says as she plops herself down in the armchair next to where we are sitting on the sofa.

"Abby." I hiss, "Stop it."

Fitz just laughs, "No, Liv it's okay. Abby is your best friend; she's allowed to ask that. And yes, I do know how amazing Liv is and I know that I am an incredibly lucky man."

Abby smiles, "Good. Now I like you just fine. All right, I'm starving." She says, getting out of the chair and heading into the kitchen.

"There's pasta salad in the fridge." I yell after her.

Fitz gives me a confused look, "That was it? I thought for sure I was in for a long interrogation."

I shrug, "Yeah, she's pretty good at telling when people are sincere or not and she trusts me. We've been best friends for a long time."

Fitz kisses me on the temple and then I hear him try to suppress a big yawn.

I look at the clock and see it's about 10. "Come on old man, let's go to bed."

I stand up and grab his hand and he's just laughing at me. "Oh Ms. Pope, I am going to get you back for that comment."

We start to walk back into my bedroom and I hear Abby shout from the kitchen, "Remember we have _very_ thin walls!"

I start to laugh and yell back, "Oh calm down, there's a bathroom between our bedrooms!"

I hear her snort, "Yeah but Liv, we roomed together for four years of college, I _know_ how loud you can get."

My face is red hot from Abby's comment as we walk into my room and I close the door behind us.

Fitz moves to sit on my bed and he crosses his arms. "So is Jake your ex-boyfriend?"

Crap, I was really hoping he wasn't paying attention to Abby earlier.

"Um, yeah he is." I say, trying to brush it off and walking over to my dresser to grab a hair tie.

"And he's still in love with you." His voice sounds a little like he's going to be sick when he says that.

"I…I guess. I mean, it's more complicated than that. It's like you said with your ex-wife, you thought you were in love with her but you realized that you were different people and that's what happened with him only I realized that we weren't compatible anymore and he still hasn't realized that or he has and he just doesn't want to accept that we're not the same people we were in college."

I hesitate before I take a step toward him, "Fitz, I swear, it's not a big deal. We've been friends for a long time; it's just hard to navigate. There is nothing between us, I'm not in love with him."

He reaches his hands out and pulls me forward so that I'm standing between his legs. "Okay, I trust you." He says, running his hands over my hips in a soothing manner.

We brush our teeth and get ourselves ready for bed and I rummage through my drawers looking for some pajama shorts and I remember why I needed to come home tonight.

"Dammit Fitz, I needed to come home so I could do some laundry and you distracted me and now I have no clean pj's!" I exclaim.

Fitz just laughs and bends down to dig through his duffle. He pulls out a pair of briefs and a Berkeley t-shirt and tosses them over to me. "This is a little sad that this is your house and I am the one giving you clothing."

"Well I could have found something to wear. I just am all out of pajamas." I retort.

"Okay then, you don't have to wear my clothes." He says, reaching out to grab them out of my hands.

"No, I want to." I say, sticking my tongue out at him and clutching the clothing to my chest.

Fitz laughs, "Put your pajamas on you goof."

I get out of my own clothes and I put on Fitz's, I laugh because I have to secure the briefs with a hair tie so they don't fall off.

I turn around to get into bed and see that Fitz is standing there and waiting for me. He has taken his t-shirt off and is just wearing his pajama pants.

He starts to laugh at me, "Very sexy, Livvy. So…do you have a specific side of the bed you prefer to sleep on?"

I shrug my shoulders, "Actually I'm kind of a middle of the bed girl."

"Well, I deduced that from our weekend together." He teases.

"Did you just call me a bed hog?" I feign offense as I start to pull the covers back.

Fitz starts to help me, "Yes, I definitely called you a bed hog."

I get in bed and I pretend to be offended by turning my back to Fitz and scooting myself over to the very edge of the bed.

"Well fine then, I will stay on my side of the bed tonight."

A moment later I feel his large hand grab my middle and pull me toward him.

I laugh and feign protest, "Fitz, stop!"

He kisses my neck and he wraps both arms around me so our bodies are flush against each other.

"I don't mind that you're a bed hog. I like to think that it's just you wanting to be closer to me."

I smile to myself and I close my eyes, relaxing in the comfort of his body as I fall asleep. I'd never admit it out loud, but Fitz is probably right.

* * *

Thanks for reading everyone! And thanks to everyone who has left me a nice review, especially to a few people who leave them after every chapter which is just incredibly awesome of you and it makes me sooo happy! THANK YOU!

Funny thing I noticed, people who leave mean comments are almost never anyone with actual accounts, it's always a guest account. That's kind of funny, like, you can dish it out but you clearly can't take it! haha Anyway, like I said 99% of you guys are just the coolest so I'm happy you are all enjoying my story and I've just decided to delete any obnoxious comments. They disappear, it's like magic! haha Well, thanks for reading and look for the preview for Chapter 18 on my twitter & tumblr tomorrow!

Random: I kept listening to "Falling Slowly" from Once over and over again while writing this chapter. I don't really know why, I just wanted to hear it again and again every time I sat down to write!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	18. Chapter 18

"It's not life that's complicated, it's the struggle to guide and control life."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side Of Paradise

* * *

Fitz and I have managed to find a rhythm at work, from nine to five we are just co-workers. We don't touch teach other, we don't talk about anything that isn't work related, and we definitely keep our lips to ourselves. It's difficult but it's necessary, that's not saying we don't slip up from time to time, but mostly we are making this work. It's now been one month since Quasar Con and we have slipped into an easy routine. We spend at least every other night together and most of our time on the weekends. This Friday night we have ordered take-out and we are lounging on his sofa watching a movie.

All of a sudden Fitz speaks up, "I forgot to tell you I sent your resume to a friend up in San Francisco. I know you want to work for Cyrus but I thought that in the meantime it might be good even to just get an interview somewhere."

I freeze right where I am, "Why would you do that?"

He turns to face me on the sofa, "Well, I want you to have what you want and you want to be a journalist." He looks confused by my reaction.

I sit upright on the sofa, "Do you want me to leave?"

"What? Why would you even say that?"

"Well because you're trying to get me a job in San Francisco." I'm starting to get upset.

Fitz sits upright as well and reaches out to grab my arm but I pull away.

He starts to laugh, "Livvy, why are you being so weird about this? You didn't mind when I gave your resume to Cyrus."

"Yeah because the Pacific Times is in San Jose and when you gave my resume to Cyrus we weren't together." I stand up because I'm getting myself really worked up.

"Olivia, I'm trying to help you." Fitz says, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Well, maybe I don't want your help. I like working for you. I know that I'm going to have to leave eventually but I thought you wanted me there too, at least for the time being."

Fitz is shaking his head, "Livvy, what the hell is going on with you? I'm not trying to get rid of you, stop acting like a child."

Now I'm the one shaking my head, "I am _not_ acting like a child. I am allowed to get upset when my boyfriend is trying to get me to relocate to another city."

Now Fitz stands up, "Don't be ridiculous. I'm not trying to do that, I just want to help you get where you want to go."

"Well just stop. You need to let me figure out my own life. I don't need you to figure it out for me. I'm so sick of people trying to push me into things and thinking they know what I want more than I do. Why does everyone think I need to be fixed? I do not need to be fixed and coddled, I am doing just fine and I like moving at my own pace. Everyone needs to stop trying to fix me."

I don't know why but I've had enough and I storm out of the room and head to my car. "I'm going home." I yell as I grab my keys and run out of the house.

I get in my car and drive home and I burst in the apartment to find Abby standing in the kitchen.

She's wearing a leather mini skirt and a blouse and holding a bottle of tequila.

"I thought you were at a show?" I say, trying to compose myself.

She sets the bottle down on the table, "I was, it got boring so I thought I'd bail. The real question here is why are you home? Aren't you supposed to be with Fitz tonight?"

"We got in a fight." I say, completely defeated.

Abby hands me the bottle of tequila, "All right, take a swig and compose yourself."

I grab the bottle and drink straight from it, the liquid burning as it goes down my throat. I set the bottle down on the table and I start to walk into the living room.

Abby picks up the bottle and follows me. We both sit down on the sofa and she puts the tequila on the coffee table in front of us.

"So what happened?" She asks, leaning back against the sofa.

I sigh and grab a pillow so I can curl up next to it.

"Fitz sent my resume to this guy he knows in San Francisco. I freaked out about it. I know it was stupid and I know I shouldn't have. I just, I got upset because it felt like he was trying to get rid of me and then it felt like he was trying to fix me and I just, I overreacted."

Abby reaches over and puts her hand on my knee. "So what are you really upset about?"

"I'm upset…because maybe deep down all these fears I have about me not being good enough for him are going to become a reality and he's just trying to get rid of me under the guise of helping me."

Abby smiles at me, "Liv, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You have to stop thinking like that. That man is head over heels in love with you, I can tell you that with absolute certainty and I don't even know him very well."

I stiffen up, "Abby, he's not in love with me, don't say that."

She laughs, "Liv, the only reason he hasn't told you that himself is because he's a smart guy and he knows that you'll freak out and run in the opposite direction. I think you are overreacting, you freaked out a little and that's okay. But you should apologize, he wasn't trying to get rid of you and you know that. He's not trying to fix you either, he knows what you want and he respects that, he just wants to help you get it. That's all, he wouldn't try to change you, he likes you the way you are."

I put my hands over my face, "I'm an idiot."

Abby laughs, "You're not an idiot, you're a fool in love."

I look up at her, "Abby, I can't be in love with him. We've only been dating for a month."

Abby shakes her head at me and grins, "Okay Liv, you keep telling yourself that."

Abby and I talk for a while longer and I'm grateful I have a friend like her, she's always been able to give me the kind of clarity I need. I realize now it was stupid and childish of me to walk out on Fitz like that, so we had our first big fight—it was bound to happen sooner or later.

It's now 12:30, Abby went to sleep about twenty minutes ago and I am sitting at the kitchen table contemplating whether or not I'd seem like a crazy person if I drove all the way back out to Fitz's house right now.

Then again, I'm currently wearing a Berkeley t-shirt I stole from Fitz and pair of his boxer briefs so I probably shouldn't be concerned about crazy; I'm clearly already there.

I decide to screw my pride and drive over there, he's probably asleep but I really just need to talk to him and apologize right away. I stand up and start to head to my room when I hear a knock at the door.

I turn around, slightly confused and then walk back over to the door, taking a big breath before I look through the peephole. Sure enough, it's Fitz. I breathe a sigh of relief and I open the door.

He looks like a little bit of a mess, which I actually find endearing.

"Hi."

"Hi." I say back, unable to hide the smile that's broken out onto my face.

"I'm so sorry." We both start to say at the same time before we break out into laughter.

"Come in." I say, grabbing his hand and pulling him into my apartment.

"Liv, I'm so sorry, I should have asked you before I sent your resume to anyone and I truly regret it. I wasn't trying to send you away Liv; it was hard for me to send out that resume because I didn't want to think about what would happen if you actually did leave. I just want what's best for you but I know I should have talked to you about it first."

"No, I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. Fitz, I'm so used to being hurt and feeling like I need to change for another person and I overreacted, I know you meant well. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. You did a wonderful thing for me and I just came to the wrong conclusion about it."

Fitz smiles at me, "How about we just agree that we both acted badly and from now on we try and communicate with each other before we get upset?"

I nod my head, "That sounds fair to me." Fitz has bridged the gap between us and one of his hands is caressing my cheek while the other is running down my side, pulling me closer to him.

"And you can't run away Livvy," Fitz whispers, "Remember, I will chase you down. I'm not going to let you go."

Our lips are almost touching when I whisper, "You know I was just about to leave and go back to your house. We're lucky I didn't have that revelation sooner or we would have missed each other."

Fitz laughs, "Well, we can go back to my house right now if you'd like?"

I shake my head, "It's too late to drive all the way back. But…you could stay here if you wanted to?"

"I think that's a good idea." He says as he starts to kiss his way up my jawline and down my neck.

"We have to be quiet though, Abby is sleeping and these walls are very thin."

Fitz shoots me a mischievous grin, "I don't think _I'm_ going to have a problem being quiet."

I try to feign offense and push him away from me but he just pulls me right back so that my back is pressed against his chest and his hands are now wandering over my front outside my shirt.

I sigh, "Slow, it has to be slow or else I'm not going to be able to be quiet."

Fitz starts to lead me to my bedroom, "Deal", he whispers and I shudder at just the sound of his sultry voice, "but you have to take off my underwear because it's really making me want you in a way that would definitely wake up your roommate."

I laugh and look at what he's wearing, slip on shoes, grey pajama pants and a Navy t-shirt, it's insane how I still find him unbelievably hot in something so simple.

We get through my door and Fitz shuts it quietly and quickly sheds his shoes on the floor.

He looks at me with that carnal need in his eyes, I love that look, it makes him look so manly and sexy and powerful. He could get me to do anything with that look.

"Take off your clothes." He says and then starts to pull his t-shirt over his head.

I quickly shed my clothing and wait for him to toss his last item of clothing in a pile on the floor. He walks over to the other side of the bed, "Get in." He says, placing his gorgeous naked body in between my sheets.

I follow suit and slide up close to him. We are both lying on our sides now with our arms wrapped around each other. His lips find mine and I find I'm trying to get my body as close as possible to his body.

Our naked figures are rubbing against each other, I can feel his member pressed against my stomach and it's making me so wet with anticipation.

We continue to kiss until I feel the heat pool in my core so much that I feel like I'm going to explode. I reach my hand down and grab his member, attempting to guide him into me.

He brings his tip to my center and teases me with it, I want to scream out but thankfully my mouth is preoccupied with his kisses. He pushes me softly so that I am now on my back and he opens my legs wide, hooking one over his elbow and letting the other hang off to the side. He positions himself above me and slowly and tantalizingly pushes into me and sets a slow and steady rhythm for us. He's pumping in and out of me at an excruciatingly slow pace and he adjusts himself so that our bodies are totally pressed together. His hips start to thrust a little harder and his mouth is still on mine, kissing me like there's no need for air. I can hear myself moaning into his mouth and I'm trying so hard to stay quiet but it's becoming impossible. He abruptly stops and pulls out of me and I groan at the lack of contact. He tenderly moves me so that I am lying on my side and he is spooning me from behind. He parts my legs slightly and pushes into me, allowing me a moment to get used to the angle and then puts my leg back down and therefore making the angle tighter so now when he thrusts he's hitting me exactly where I want him most. His hands find their way around my body. One finds its way down to my core and starts to massage the sensitive bud between my legs while the other is taking turns massaging each of my breasts. I'm so over stimulated that I can't keep quiet and I accidentally let out a fairly loud moan. Fitz lifts his head from the spot where he's been kissing my neck and shoulder and the hand that's massaging my breasts moves up to my neck and turns my head to meet his own and our lips find each other in hot, wet kisses.

Normally I would have slapped away a guy who tried to grab my neck the way Fitz is but with him I really enjoy it, while I consider myself to be a feminist, I love it when Fitz-and only Fitz-controls me like this in the bedroom. I think maybe it's because Fitz is the first guy I've ever really trusted and I know he won't go too far.

The hand massaging my center stops its motion and moves up my stomach so that it's splayed across my belly, slowly pressing my stomach to the rhythm of our thrusts. I feel Fitz pick up the pace slightly so I know he's close and so I am I, in fact his pace change is just enough for me to reach orgasm. As I am riding out the waves of my orgasm Fitz thrusts hard into me a few more times and then finds his release as well. We've stopped kissing; we're both breathing so hard that we can't focus enough to kiss and instead we're just staring into each other's eyes. I expect Fitz to pull out of me but he doesn't, instead he bends his knees so it's almost like I'm sitting in his lap and I can feel him start to get soft inside me. It's odd at first but quickly becomes not only comfortable but also comforting. He buries his head in my shoulder and pulls the covers up and we both fall asleep.

We are abruptly woken up the next morning by Abby bursting in my room.

"Wake up lovebirds!" She exclaims, the door flying open letting the light pour into my room.

I grab the sheet and pull it up so it's covering my chest while Fitz has turned and buried his head in my hair.

"Abby, what the fuck?" I say, my eyes getting wide in annoyance as I motion with my head over to Fitz thinking maybe she didn't know he was here.

Abby grins, "Oh Liv, I know your boss man slash sex friend is here but your Mom has called three times. I answered the last time and told her that you were running and left your phone here and I'd have you call her back ASAP."

She tosses my phone onto the bed and sure enough there are the missed calls from my mother.

"Thanks Abs, but you could have knocked." I say, my voice conveying kindness but my face conveying my annoyance.

Abby laughs again, "Yes, I could have, but I really just wanted to see if your boss man's body is as fantastic as you say. Hi Fitz." She's grinning wildly now.

Fitz lifts his head up and gives her a small smile. "Good morning, Abby."

I roll my eyes at both of them at this point, thank god Fitz is laughing or this would probably have been a deal breaker.

"You can leave now." I say to Abby, I'm laughing but I'm totally serious.

"I got it, I'm out of here!" Abby says, holding her hands up in surrender and backing out of the room. She moves to shut the door behind her put pops her head in one last time, "By the way Fitz, kudos on keeping it tight, Liv was not exaggerating."

"Oh my god, get out!" I squeal, throwing the plastic coaster on my nightstand at her, now I'm just embarrassed.

She shuts the door and I shift so that I'm lying on my back and throw my hands over my face and groan.

To my surprise Fitz is still laughing so I slowly pull my hands down, uncovering my face. "I am so sorry about that."

He smiles at me and leans in, placing a soft kiss on my lips. "It's okay, I get it, I had a roommate in my twenties too."

I glare at him, "You've had a roommate do _that_?"

He laughs again and places his hand on my collarbone, running it around my neck and breastbone in an attempt to calm me down—and it's working.

"I've never had a roommate do _that_, but there have definitely been embarrassing moments. Don't stress out, at least she likes me."

Now I'm laughing, "At least she likes you? Oh my god, why are you so nice to me? You could have walked out and I wouldn't have even blamed you."

Fitz laughs and then leans in so that his lips are touching my earlobe and I can feel his hot breath on my neck. "I guess I really like you."

He's tickling my neck now and I start to giggle and turn around so that we're facing each other. He pulls me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my body and he starts to kiss my neck.

I start to push him away, "Fitz, Fitz wait, stop, I have to call my Mom."

He lifts his head up and scowls at me, making me laugh. I reach back and grab my phone, "Fitz you cannot talk or do anything to distract me while I'm talking to my Mom. She will freak out if she hears you or thinks something is distracting me."

"Okay, okay I can do that."

I shoot him a serious look and study him to make sure there's no devious twinkle in his eye. I start to dial my Mom's number and I shift in the bed so that I am lying flat on my back. Fitz stays propped up on his left arm next to me and his right hand reaches over and grabs my right forearm and starts to run his thumb delicately along my skin.

My Mom picks up after one short ring, "Olivia Katherine Pope what have I told you about running without your cell phone? You could have been abducted or murdered or taken hostage and no one would have had any idea. You have to be better about that, you know how I worry about you."

I take a deep breath and get ready to argue with her but it's just not worth it so instead I let out a deep sigh, "I know Mom, you're right. I'm sorry, I won't let it happen again."

"Thank you sweetie—wait, why are you being so agreeable?"

I laugh, "Thanks a lot Mom for implying I'm anything less than an agreeable daughter."

"Oh sweetie, you know what I mean."

I roll my eyes and Fitz attempts to stifle a laugh earning a glare from me, but thankfully Mom doesn't hear.

"So what was so urgent Mom, I'd really like to get in the shower?"

"Oh, jeez I'm sorry! Sweetie you know your grandmother is coming here in two weeks and I know we talked about you coming down for the weekend to see her but your Dad really needs to book your plane ticket if you're coming down and he has to know what times work best for you."

"Oh, crap, Mom I'm so sorry. Um have him try to get me the latest flight possible on Friday and then the latest flight out on Sunday night as well."

"Okay, I got it, we will get it booked now and e-mail you the confirmation."

"Okay, thanks Mom. I'll talk to you later, I love you."

"I love you too, Olive. Talk to you later."

I hang up the phone and toss it down the bed so it's out of the way.

Fitz is grinning at me, "Your Mom calls you Olive."

I roll my eyes, "You cannot start calling me that."

He laughs, "Oh no, you're my Livvy. I'm just now trying to imagine you when you were a little kid. I bet you were adorable, little Olive Pope. God, that just makes you sound like trouble."

I laugh, "Maybe a little bit."

I shift my body so I am turned toward him and say, "Thank you for not distracting me."

He smiles at me, "I presume my compliance comes with rewards?"

I can't help but burst out laughing.

Fitz is just grinning at me, "Oh, you think I'm joking?"

"Oh, I know you don't joke about this kind of thing." I say, running my hand down his firm chest.

"So your Grandma is coming to town." He says.

"And thank you for ruining that." I say as I remove my hand from his chest.

He smiles and grabs my hand back, pulling it to his chest and keeping it covered with his own. "So you're going back to LA for a whole weekend?"

I nod, "Yeah, she doesn't visit very often so it's kind of a big deal."

"Where does she live?"

"Well, she's originally from Lusaka, Zambia and she grew up there so she spends a few months of every year back there with my Uncle but the rest of the year she lives in New York City."

"Wait, I thought your grandparents lived in South Africa?"

"Yeah, my Mom's parents do. This is my Dad's Mom."

Fitz nods, "Oh okay, I got it. Well that's pretty amazing, that's a difficult trip to make.

"Yeah, she's pretty resilient, I mean she's eighty-five and she is still totally self-sufficient."

"Jeez, that's incredibly impressive. Honestly just living in New York City at eighty-five would be a struggle but adding traveling to that is amazing. How long has she lived in New York City?"

"Well, she and my Grandpa actually moved there when I was about five. They had been living in DC for a while before that and my Dad and his siblings all grew up in San Diego. But my Grandpa had always wanted to live in New York and so they moved there and thought they'd only be there a year or two but they ended up loving it and my Grandma stayed there after my Grandpa died because she says the city keeps her young at heart and plus now she can't imagine living anywhere else."

"God, I hope I'm like that when I'm eighty-five, I'd be happy just to be living on my own but still being able to truly enjoy your life, that's the ultimate goal."

"Me too." I say, smiling at him and running my hand through his hair, I shift a little bit and I'm just now noticing the stickiness between my legs, I really need a shower.

"How about we go take a shower?" I whisper into his ear.

He gives me a devilish grin and his right hand ventures between my legs. I definitely have his answer.

We get out of bed and I poke my head out of the door and look for Abby. I don't notice her down the hall or in the living room and kitchen so I call out just in case, "Abby are you here?" I wait a moment and listen for her response but I hear nothing. "Abby, if you're here I just want to warn you that Fitz and I are going to have sex in the bathroom so if you need to use it, do it now!"

I can hear Fitz laughing as he encircles me with his arms from behind.

All of a sudden I hear a rustling in the kitchen and I hear Abby's muffled voice, she's probably got a handful of fruit loops stuffed in her mouth. "I'm out of here now!" She yells, though it's hard to understand because of the food in her mouth, but does explain why she didn't respond to me sooner. I see her rush out the door, bags of art on her arms and a small box of fruit loops in one of her hands and yet she still manages to give me the finger.

I laugh at her and then turn around to face Fitz. "So…we've got the apartment all to ourselves."

Fitz doesn't respond verbally, instead he picks me up; his right arm captures my knee and hooks it over his arm while his left hand is focused on holding up my bum and our mouths have found each other, kissing deeply and passionately. He walks us over to the bathroom and Fitz thrusts me against the door. His hands are now roaming around my body, caressing my skin and making me feel turned on everywhere. His hips rock against mine and I feel his member rubbing up against my core. I can't help but moan from the glorious feeling of friction brewing between my legs.

"We…should…start…the…shower…" I manage to say between gasps because Fitz's mouth is now on my breasts and the way he's toying with my nipples is making all coherent thought leave my mind.

He slowly puts me down on the ground and I almost topple over because my legs are already feeling weak. He grabs my arm so I can balance and I shake my head at him and try not to laugh because he has this look of manly pride on his face.

I gain my footing and I walk over to the shower, opening the door and turning the water on. When I stand up straight I feel Fitz's arm's encircle me, one hand finding its way to my breast and the other starting to massage the sensitive bud between my legs. I can't contain my moans anymore and thank god that Fitz is holding me up because my body is shaking. The hand that's massaging my breasts moves slowly up between my breastbone and my neck and gently turning my head to the side to face him, he starts kissing my jawline first.

"I love…that I'm the reason…you're making those sounds…it gets me so…hard." He says between heavy kisses he's placing on my jawline until his mouth captures mine. We step into the warm running water and I slowly turn around so that I can touch Fitz again. His hands make their way to my back start to caress me while I bring mine to his face and run them through his hair and down his muscular shoulders.

I could honestly just kiss him for hours, he's that good at it, his mouth is like magic and I just hate letting go because I always feel like when I do I'm going to miss one of it's big secrets.

His hands have now found their way to my thighs and he's now lifting me up against the wall of the shower. I wrap my legs around his waist and I can feel him pulsating at my entrance. We just keep kissing for a little while until his hips start to thrust lightly into mine. I reach down and grab his member with my hand so I can line him up with my entrance. We aren't moving slowly like last night, we are both so ready for this as he plunges deep into me and we both gasp.

"God Liv, you feel so damn good." Fitz says as he starts to thrust into me, no more soft and sensual, these thrusts are hard and fast and needy.

I am screaming in pleasure with my arms wrapped tightly around Fitz as he bounces me up and down with his thrusts, his wonderful hands splayed across my bottom guiding my body to his.

"Oh my god, Fitz, right there." I squeal as his thrusts propel him deeper inside me. A moment later I'm falling over the edge, Fitz rides out my body's convulsions with a few more thrusts until he finds he release only moments later and another wave of pleasure hits me as it explodes inside me. I'm really glad Abby isn't here because I have no doubt she would be able to hear my moans of pleasure even through the sound of the water. Our mouths never once separate as we ride out our highs together, both finally stilling sometime later and yet we're still trying to catch our breaths. We reluctantly break apart as I unwrap my legs from Fitz's waist and place them tenderly back on the ground, aware that I'm still a little shaky. Fitz is looking down at me and I am staring up at him, he smiles at me and he runs a hand through my hair.

"Hi." He says softly.

I grin back at him, "Hi."

It's terrifying to admit, but Fitzgerald Grant makes me feel something inside myself I never knew I could feel.

* * *

Thanks so much for reading! And please leave me some nice reviews! I'm going to try to post again tomorrow but I'm not sure if I'm going to have time, I have a long day so we will just have to see how it goes. But if I don't post tomorrow I promise I will post it on Saturday! Again, thank you SO much for reading!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	19. Chapter 19

"And it was with his glad sigh of relief when her light watery laughter curled up the side of the cliff and into his anxious ears that he knew he loved her."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Offshore Pirate

* * *

"Fitz you have to stop, Harrison could walk in at any moment and you know he doesn't knock." I say, laughing as Fitz kisses my neck.

We are standing behind my desk and in plain view of the window and of anyone who would walk in the door. It would be pretty damn hard to hide what we are doing from anyone who happened to barge in on us.

Fitz starts to laugh, "We have twenty minutes. Relax, it's Harrison, he's not going to be early." His hands start to wander down my stomach and start to unzip my pants.

I try to step forward but Fitz pulls me back, "Fitz we can't do this. Not here."

He lets me turn around and I press my hands against his chest. I am breathing heavily and when I look into his eyes and see the desire in them, it's enough to make me stop breathing altogether.

"Just this once." He begs. "Because you are leaving me for an entire weekend."

I can't help but laugh, "You are _such_ a baby, I won't even be gone for forty-eight hours. But no way Fitz, we are not having sex in my office."

"I didn't mean sex." He says and I know I'm looking at him with confusion written all over my face because he starts to laugh as he starts to kiss down my body and pushes me back onto my desk as he slides my pants down my legs and his mouth finds its way to the outside of my underwear where he teases me with his hot breath until his fingers hook themselves into the sides of my panties and slide them down my legs. His mouth finds me again and I lean my head backward as he works his magic between my legs.

When he's finished he's the perfect gentleman and slides my panties and pants back up my legs and fastens them, which is a good thing because I am still in a little bit of a daze.

He leans forward and kisses me, running his hand through my hair.

"You may not be Clark Kent, but you definitely have a superpower." I tease.

Fitz now has a devious grin on his face and he grabs my face with both of his hands and plants a deep kiss on my lips.

I can't help but start to laugh as he pulls away from me.

"You are such a boost to my already over-inflated ego Ms. Pope."

He pauses for a moment and reaches out to grab my hand. "And you should really let me take you to the airport."

I get up off my desk and stand so that I'm leaning over the back of my chair as I talk to him, "Harrison is taking me, you know that. He will know something is up if all of a sudden you say you're taking me, he's not an idiot."

Fitz starts to pout and I roll my eyes. "So how am I supposed to entertain myself for two whole days without you?"

I laugh, "Oh come on, call up your friends. Have a night out, call up Cyrus and James."

Fitz shakes his head, "I can't call up Cyrus and James, I've been dodging them lately because they've been trying to set me up with someone and obviously I can't go on a date."

I stiffen up but try not to make it noticeable. "Why not?"

Fitz looks baffled, "Why not? Because I'm with you, I'm not going on a date with another woman."

"It's not like you're going to have sex with her or anything. Just go out with your friends, you can't exactly tell them that we are dating."

Fitz crosses his arms and leans back against my desk. "Are you serious right now Olivia? You want me to go on a date with another woman? You are so afraid of people finding out about our relationship that you would have me go on a date with another woman?"

"_Fitz_, we can't tell anyone about our relationship. It's inappropriate and it shouldn't be happening. You could get in trouble and I could risk never getting hired anywhere again. You really think Cyrus is going to want to hire me if he knows we're sleeping together? You can't tell them."

Fitz presses his hands to his temples and then he stands up and walks over to me, turning me around so I'm facing him and his hands are on my shoulders. "Do you want to stop doing this?"

"What? Fitz, I never said that." I say, I can feel my muscles tensing up and the anxiety rising in my body.

"Do you really want me to see another woman? Do you want another woman touching my arm or holding my hand? Do you want me kissing someone else? Because I sure as hell do not want that for you. I would never suggest you go on a date with someone even just for show because the thought of another man even holding your hand makes me absolutely crazy. I don't want to be with anyone but you. Do you want to be with someone else besides me Livvy? Because I need to know right now if you do."

I shake my head, "No, no of course not. I'm sorry Fitz. I don't really want that, I was just trying to make this…I don't know…easier somehow."

"Then do not ever suggest I go out on a date with another woman ever again. I do not want to be with anyone but you and I don't care how difficult it is. I am not going to even pretend I am seeing someone else."

He leans in and kisses me softly but backs away almost immediately and I can tell he's a little angry with me.

I grab his hand as he turns to walk away.

"Fitz, don't be mad at me. I can't leave if you're mad at me."

He turns around and sighs, "Livvy, I'm not mad at you." But he's unconvincing in his tone.

He pulls me toward him, "I promise, I'm not mad at you. Go home, have fun with your family, and I will be there to pick you up at the airport on Sunday."

I can't help but grin as I look up at him. "Okay."

He smiles down at me and runs a hand through my hair, "Okay."

The minute he steps back from me Harrison bursts into my office.

"Ready to go Ace?" He asks, a big grin on his face.

I laugh, "Hey Harrison. Yeah let me grab my jacket and then I'm ready."

Fitz and Harrison exchange pleasantries as I grab my coat and my bag and I stand at the door when I'm ready to leave.

"We should be going." I say to Harrison.

"Sounds good." He says, "See you later Fitz, hey how about we play some golf tomorrow?"

Fitz nods his head, "Yeah, that sounds great." He puts his hands in his pockets as he walks toward me.

"Have a good weekend Livvy."

"Thanks Fitz, you too." I say with a smile and I turn to walk out of the room before my face gives everything away.

Harrison and I walk down to his car and he loads my things into the trunk. We get into the car and we start to drive.

"Is Fitz seeing someone?" Harrison abruptly asks me.

I try really hard to seem calm and collected as I answer him. "How am I supposed to know?"

Harrison laughs, "Well, you spend more time with him than anyone else. I figured if anyone knew then you would."

I shrug my shoulders and look out the window, "I don't know. He's kind of a private guy when it comes to that kind of stuff, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he doesn't date much anyway. He just seems to be in a good mood lately, you know, the kind of good mood you're in when you're getting laid consistently."

I can't help but laugh, "You're gross."

Several hours later I land at LAX and I get off my plane. I make my way to the baggage claim and find my mother, sisters and my grandmother waiting for me.

"Liv!" I hear Victoria yell before I see her.

"Hey guys!" I say, walking over being immediately engulfed in a huge hug by my Grandmother.

"Livia you look gorgeous." She says, running a hand through my hair. "You're so professional in your work clothes. I'm so proud of you!" She exclaims, pulling me in for another hug.

I can't help but start to laugh, "Thanks Grandma. Hey guys." I say, quickly hugging my Mom and sisters.

"It is so good to see you beautiful girl." She says, holding me at arms length and getting a good look at me. My grandma is a beautiful lady even for her age. She is fairly tall and has had dark hair almost all her life, there only a few strands of grey on her entire head. We only see her about two times a year so even though I had to leave Fitz for the weekend I am very glad I get the chance to see her.

"All right my dear Olivia. Tell me all about your big job in San Jose?" She asks and with that we leave the airport and head back home.

We spend Friday catching up and then on Saturday my Grandma wants to go to the Redondo pier so Caroline, Victoria, and I take her and Mom and Dad head out to the grocery to get things for dinner.

We get home around the same time and we all help unload the groceries.

"Oh, Olivia, we saw Jake while we were out." My Mother says.

I freeze in my place and wait for her to continue.

"It was nice to see him. I invited him to dinner."

I spin around so that I am facing my Mother. "You did _what_?"

My Mom shrugs, "I invited him to dinner. I like him. You two are still friends aren't you? I don't understand this silly being on a break situation. He's such a great boy, you should get back together with him."

I'm trying very hard not to get angry right now but it's not working very well. "Mom, we aren't getting back together. Why is everyone so delusional about this? I am not in love with him. You have to stop trying to force this and let me live my own life."

I storm out of the room and almost immediately I get a text from Fitz. We have been talking constantly since I left yesterday and now he's sent me a selfie of himself. I look at it and smile. He's got a baseball cap on and a polo shirt. I can see the green in the background and I know that he's playing golf with Harrison.

I would send him one back but I'm so worked up right now that he would definitely notice so I decide to send him a picture we took of me and my Grandma on the pier.

He only sends one word back, "Beautiful." And it makes me grin.

All of a sudden I feel someone come up behind me in the hallway and I notice that it's my Grandma.

"Hi sweetheart." She says, moving to sit down next to me on the love seat I am currently perched on.

"Hey Grandma, sorry about that. I didn't mean to act so childish."

She starts to laugh and shakes her head. "You were fine. You're allowed to act a little irrational when you're in love."

I take a deep breath, "Grandma I'm not in love with Jake."

Now it's her turn to laugh, "Sweetheart, I wasn't talking about Jake. I think he's a great boy and I do like him very much but I'm eighty-four years old, I know a woman in love when I see one. You're different from the last time I saw you, you're happier in your soul. Grandma's can tell these things. I think that whomever is making you so happy is also the one who has been sending you messages on your phone all day because every time you read one you smile that big beautiful smile I love so much."

I shake my head, "Grandma, I'm not in love. I can't be in love, it's too complicated."

She laughs and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "Olivia, life is complicated, you'll figure it out and when you do we will all support you."

I smile at her, she's always been better at reading me than my parents have. "I can't talk about it just yet Grandma. I want to, but I can't."

She pats me on the knee. "That's okay, just know that I am here for you. You can always call me anytime I'm always here for you sweet girl."

I reach out and grab her hand, "Will you come visit me in San Jose sometime?"

She grins, "Of course I will, I'd like nothing better."

I lean in and give her a hug, "Thank you Grandma."

Dinner comes and Harrison's parents, Jake, and Caroline's still sort of boyfriend from high school arrive and we have a pleasant dinner. Jake is polite and charming and acting like a friend to me which I appreciate. We also steer clear of any relationship talk, which is very good, I don't know if I could handle that right now.

It's getting late and I have to run upstairs to take a pill when I see Jake standing in my bathroom door.

I look up, "Hey, what are you doing?"

He shrugs, "I haven't seen your room in a while."

I wash my hands and walk toward him; I know that was code for he wanted some time alone with me.

"So how are you Liv?" He asks, running his hand lightly down my arm.

I shiver and I back away, thinking about what Fitz said yesterday and knowing that if he found out Jake had even touched me he would get angry.

"Jake stop, don't do this."

He takes a step forward but thankfully makes no more moves to touch me. "Don't do what Liv? Tell you I'm still in love with you? Well I am, I'm still in love with you and nothing is going to change that. Liv please, we deserve another chance. We were good together and you know it."

He takes me hand lightly and I don't pull away even though I should. I don't want to be with Jake, I want to be with Fitz but the truth is I don't know if I see a future with Fitz, well that's a lie I do but I'm not sure if that future is something he wants. He's seventeen years older than me and while it doesn't bother me now I'm afraid that sooner or later it's going to bite us in the ass. I'm only twenty-six years old, what if this thing with Fitz did miraculously work out and we stayed together. I never really wanted kids or even to actually get married until I was in my thirties and that would put Fitz in his fifties. I doubt he wants to get married in his fifties and I really doubt he wants to be a dad in his fifties. But then there's that, even though Jake is technically the smarter match, he's technically the better choice, when I think about marriage and kids and growing old with someone, I can't picture any of that with Jake but I can picture it with Fitz. I can picture us raising a family and growing old together. And that thought is absolutely terrifying.

I haven't said anything yet and honestly I don't know what to say so I'm happy when Jake speaks up again, "You don't need to say anything Liv. Think about this, think about us, take as long as you need. I'll still be here when you decide. I should get going, thanks for inviting me over." He leans in and gives me a light kiss on the cheek and I still can't speak. It's like I'm frozen to this spot.

He walks away and leaves me standing in the doorway of my bathroom. I just wait there for a while until I'm sure he's left and then I compose myself and head back downstairs.

Sunday goes by quickly and I have to be at the airport by 12 PM, I wanted a later flight but it was going to be too hard to get both Caroline and I to the airport at different times and she needed to leave earlier.

We say our goodbyes and my Grandma promises to visit as soon as she can and I get on my plane. I arrive in San Jose and when I walk into baggage claim I had completely forgotten that Fitz had promised to pick me up.

I see him over the crowd of people and he spots me too and starts to hastily make his way toward me. I take off toward him and I practically catapult myself into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling his body as close to mine as possible. I know that people are staring at us but quite frankly I don't really care.

His arms are clutching my torso and his hands are gripping my sides like his life depends on it and he whispers into my ear, "God, I missed you so much."

I move my head so I am kissing his cheek until my mouth finds his and I plant a searing kiss on him. We both break away for air and he sets me back down onto the ground.

He looks at me but his grin fades into a frown, "Livvy, you're crying."

I wipe my eyes and I see that I am in fact crying, "I guess I missed you more than I realized."

Fitz wipes away the tears on my face with his thumbs, "You don't have to miss me anymore, I'm not going anywhere."

I smile and pull him in for another kiss.

We wait for my bag hand in hand and then we head out to his car.

"So you don't need to grab anything from your apartment, do you?"

I shake my head, "Nope. I'm good to go."

"Perfect." He says as he intertwines his fingers with mine over the console.

We get to his house and I head upstairs to freshen up and as I am washing my face I hear the doorbell ring but I really don't think twice about it.

When I get downstairs I walk into the kitchen but I don't see Fitz. I hear him in the dining room and I walk over and I see that the doorbell ringing was just takeout from my favorite Thai restaurant. He has it set up on fancy plates with candles lit on his dining room table and the lights are dimmed giving the room a romantic feel.

"Fitz?" I say, standing in the doorway.

He turns to look over at me, "Hey Livvy."

"I thought you didn't like Thai food?"

He grins and walks over to me, "It's not my favorite but I like it just fine but it is your favorite and so I'm more than happy to eat it."

He puts his arms around me loosely and bends down to place a soft kiss on my lips.

We sit down to eat and I tell him more about my trip home, minus the incident with Jake, I don't think Fitz needs to know that.

Fitz tells me about his golf outing with Harrison and we finish up our dinner.

We are putting the dishes in the dishwasher when I suddenly feel the need to wrap my arms around Fitz. I rest my head on his shoulder and my hands graze his waist just above his belt.

He stops what he's doing and he puts his hands over my own. His fingers intertwine with my own and he pulls me closer to him.

After a moment he turns around but he doesn't let go of my hands. "Come on Livvy, lets go sit outside."

The sun is just setting and it's a beautiful night. We light a fire in the fire pit and we make ourselves comfortable on the sofa. I am curled up into Fitz's side and his head is resting on mine. It's warm but Fitz pulls a blanket over us anyway and his hand starts to play with the hem of my shirt.

"Fitz?" I say quietly as his hand finds the button on the top of my jeans. He turns to look at me and our eyes lock.

"Do you ever think about the future?"

Fitz's hand stills and he looks away from me for a minute but then looks back. "Yes, I do."

I sigh; he's going to make me work for this. "Do you ever think about us?"

I trace my fingers around the collar of his shirt and wait for him to respond.

"I do think about us."

I roll my eyes at him; he really wants to make me work for this. "You're such an ass." I say, shaking my head. "You're going to make me say it aren't you?"

He starts to laugh at me, "Say what? I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I hate you." I say quietly.

"You don't hate me." He says, taking my chin in his hand so I'm looking directly at him.

"I do hate you." I say, trying to turn my head away from him but he won't let me.

"You don't hate me." He says again but this time he's stern, almost forceful when he says it.

"I don't hate you." I say softly, our eyes are locked together and I feel more exposed than I ever have in my life.

"When I think about the future…I think about you. I see you there. I want you there."

I can't stop myself from grinning at him and before he can say anything else I've pulled him down so that I can kiss him. His lips find mine and his tongue parts them and he's pulling me into a deep kiss.

My hands reach under the hem of his shirt and I start to pull it over his head.

His hands do the same and we pull each other's shirts off in an easy rhythm and Fitz pushes me backward onto the sofa and starts to work on my pants. Unbuttoning and unzipping my pants he slides them off my body and he kisses his way down my stomach.

I gasp when he reaches my underwear and he starts to kiss me through the thin fabric.

"Oh god, Fitz." I say as he slowly pulls my underwear down my legs.

His mouth goes to work between my legs and I grab onto the armrest as he uses his superpower.

I can feel everything build up inside of me and suddenly waves of pleasure hit my body and I can feel my legs start to shake uncontrollably.

Fitz kisses his way up my body and he breaks away for a minute, hovering over me so that he can undo his pants and slide them off his body. He frees himself of his pants and underwear and then reaches his hand down and caresses my stomach down to my core.

He presses his tip to my entrance, teasing me and driving me crazy.

He leans his mouth close to my ear, "God, you're so gorgeous Livvy." He says as he places hot and wet kisses along my collarbone.

I can barely breathe but I manage a small laugh. "Fitz…you've already…got me...naked. You don't need…to flatter me."

Fitz doesn't laugh, instead he looks up at me, his eyes are filled with desire and he reaches up and runs his hand through my hair. "I'm not trying to flatter you Olivia, I'm simply trying to tell you a simple truth. You're absolutely the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

His mouth comes back up to mine and his hand makes its way down my front, caressing my breast and making its way down to my leg to lift it up around his pelvis.

He thrusts into me quickly and his other hand reaches down and cups my bottom and pushes my hips up into his.

He's now kissing my neck and I'm running my hands through his hair and he picks up the pace and now I'm moaning into his ear.

"Livvy, those noises you make drive me absolutely crazy." He says as he runs a hand through my hair then reaches back down to push my thigh further back and I moan again at the change in angle.

Fitz picks up the pace and I can feel the pressure building up in my body and I know I'm close. Fitz's mouth moves back up to mine and his tongue delves into my mouth and his hands are on my bum and all of a sudden the pressure is too much and I let go.

Fitz comes shortly after I do and he collapses on top of me and we are both breathing heavily. He shifts off of me after a moment and then pulls my body so that we are flush against each other.

"Don't leave me again anytime soon Livvy. I miss you too much when you're away." He says as he caresses my cheek.

"Maybe we could go away together next time?" I say shyly, my fingers dancing on his chest.

A huge grin appears on his face, "Are you asking me to go away with you?"

I shrug my shoulders and look away from him, "I don't know."

"Oh, you definitely asked me to go away with you." He's teasing me again.

I roll my eyes and try to turn away from him. "Seriously Fitz, you are such an ass. I take it back now, I don't want to go away with you."

He pulls me back so that I am facing him once again, "I am an ass, but I'm an ass who adores you and one who is now going to take you on an incredible weekend getaway very soon."

I don't know what to say to this so I just wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss him. "I really missed you." I whisper.

"I know." He says and with that we just lie there together, content with the idea that we're both in way deeper than we ever expected to be.

* * *

Hey guys! Thanks so much for reading! Thank you so much to anyone who has favorited, followed, and especially reviewed this story, you guys are amazing and I sincerely appreciate your support! I've almost got tomorrows chapter edited already, I'm really weirdly excited about it. I think it may be one of my favorites! Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave me some love!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	20. Chapter 20

"People living alone get used to loneliness."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night

* * *

I am hunched over the toilet in Fitz's private bathroom because I can't stop vomiting. He is sitting next to me with an extremely worried look on his face as he holds my hair back for me. I know why he's so nervous; he thinks I'm pregnant. Honestly, I'd think that too if I hadn't received from Abby, moments before I started puking, a text asking me if I was puking as much as she was. I hoped and prayed that somehow only she had been cursed with food poisoning but ten minutes later I found myself emptying the contents of my stomach into the trash bin under my desk. That ordeal was followed by Fitz bursting into my office and helping me over to his private bathroom where we are now both on the floor as I continue to vomit into the toilet, feeling more and more terrible by the minute. I've now been puke free for about five minutes so I take a chance and look up to Fitz; he's sitting on top of the trashcan lid with his elbows on his knees and his head in one of his hands while the other holds my hair back for me. I can tell that he's internally freaking out.

He sees me lift up my head and he immediately leans forward to hand me a washcloth to wipe off my mouth and then grabs a damp cloth and starts to wipe my forehead.

The cool fabric of the cloth feels wonderful on my head and I close my eyes as he runs it along my face. I feel a little better so I open my eyes again and look at Fitz, who still looks absolutely terrified. I let out a deep breath and I try to find my voice, it comes out hoarse, my throat is killing me.

"It's food poisoning." I say quietly.

He gives me a skeptical look so I pick my cell phone up off the ground and I hand it to him.

"Read the messages from Abby." I say, I feel too weak to even scroll through my phone right now.

I see him quickly scan the message and I can tell he lets out a sigh of relief when he reads Abby's messages about how she too, is puking her guts out at work. But he still has a very concerned look on his face.

He sets the phone on the sink counter and he resumes patting my forehead with the damp washcloth.

"I'm going to have someone take you home." He says, now running the washcloth down to my neck.

"You know I'd do it myself but I have that meeting in an hour and I don't want to look suspicious." He's frowning as he speaks and I know he feels bad.

I manage a small smile, "It's fine, I understand."

"Does Abby need someone to pick her up also?" He asks, motioning to my phone.

I smile again at him, he's always thinking about everyone else. "No, her boyfriend du jour is picking her up and taking her to his apartment."

He frowns when I say this, "I really don't want you to be alone."

I shake my head slowly, "Don't worry, I'll be fine, I just need to lie down."

I know he wants to argue with me about that but he stays silent because I know he doesn't want to upset me.

"Okay, I'm going to go get Harrison, I'll be right back." He says as he gets up and leaves the bathroom.

A few moments later he enters the bathroom with Harrison trailing behind him.

"Oh, Olive, you look miserable." Harrison says as he bends down to try and help me up.

I feel too terrible to tell him not to call me Olive or even to roll my eyes at him.

Harrison grabs one of my arms and Fitz grab the other and they help me stand up.

"Time to go home, Ace." Harrison says.

I am somehow leaning against both Fitz and Harrison and they take me to the service elevator because it goes straight down to the parking garage. I silently thank god for giving Fitz and Harrison the good sense to take me out this elevator because I would have been really embarrassed if I had to walk through the entire office and then out through the front lobby.

I must have passed out on the ride to my apartment because before I know it I'm being carried out of the car and up the stairs to my apartment.

Harrison is talking to me as I'm lying on my bed but I can't comprehend a word he says. He sets a trashcan, a few replacement bags, and a roll of paper towels next to the bed and that's the last thing I remember.

I wake up groggy a few hours later to sounds of someone clambering about in the kitchen. I stand up and then immediately sit back down because I feel so dizzy. I wait for the feeling to subside and then I stand up again, this time much more slowly, and I make my way to the kitchen.

To my great surprise, Fitz is rummaging through my refrigerator. I spot several paper bags on the counter and I surmise that he has been shopping.

He senses my presence before I have a change to speak and he turns around. He frowns at me and stops what he is doing and walks over to me, putting his hand on my forehead. After a moment his frown deepens, "You're still burning up."

"I feel a little better." I manage to say as I lean against the doorway because I just cannot support myself anymore.

"You don't look better." He says and continues on before I can make a sassy remark, "I got you some food and some medicine but if you don't feel well enough to eat you don't have to. You can stick to crackers and ginger ale for a little while, no use forcing yourself to eat if you're just going to throw it up. I also think you should take this. Just to be on the safe side." He says timidly as he pulls out a box of pregnancy tests from the shopping bag.

I nod; I know he's right. Better safe than sorry.

He puts the bags away quickly and sticks the test under his arm so he can grab my shoulders, gently guiding me toward the bathroom.

"Let's get you into a shower." He says, sitting me down on the toilet so that I don't topple over and placing the box on my sink counter.

I lean sideways and rest my head against the wall, "I don't know if I can stand long enough to take a shower."

"Don't worry about that." He says, reaching his hands up to start unbuttoning my oxford shirt. He undoes the buttons one by one and then untucks the parts of my shirt that are still miraculously tucked in from my pants and slides it off my shoulders.

His hands reach around me and unclasp my bra then slide the straps off my shoulders and put it on the pile started by my shirt. His hands go to my armpits and he lifts me so I am standing up, his hands move down to my waist as he kneels down on the ground once again and my hands find his shoulders so I can support myself. His hands quickly unbutton my pants and he slides them off in one quick motion along with my underwear. Normally I would find this arousing but the care he's taking to disrobe me and the way he's taking care to not stare at me too long instead makes me feel very comforted and taken care of.

He sits me back on the toilet and turns the water on in the shower. While he's letting it warm up he takes his own clothes off and adds them to the pile mine have now formed on the floor. He reaches a hand into the shower to test the water and apparently he finds it warm enough because he picks me up and then sets me down in the shower. He turns me around so my back is leaning against his chest and I have never felt more secure in my life, he's holding me up and I feel terrible but at the same time I am feel more safe than I ever have in my whole life.

He washes my body and my hair thoroughly, his hands feel so good on my body, and not in a sexual way, just in that his hands feel so comforting and soothing.

When he's finished he takes me out of the shower and dries me off carefully, making sure to wipe down my entire body and proceeds to sits me on the toilet. I point to the pregnancy tests on the sink counter and do my best to indicate that I have to pee because talking is just too painful at the moment.

Fitz grabs the box and pulls a test out, taking off the wrapping and disposing of it. I grab for the stick but I can barely hold myself up and if I'm honest I've been seeing double so I'm not entirely sure if I've grabbing the right area. He takes my hand and brings it back down by my side and then he moves his hands to my knees. He gently parts my legs and I try to resist, me peeing on a stick is a big enough romance killer but Fitz being the one to have to hold it between my legs is about a thousand times worse.

"Livvy, it's okay. Please." He says, each of his hands cupping one of my knees.

I sigh in defeat and let him push them open and lean forward so that my hands are now on his shoulders.

He holds the stick between my legs and I continue to lean on his shoulder because I can't support myself.

I finally am able to pee; thank god he's smart enough to place the stick after I start so my urine only gets on the stick.

After a moment he sets the test down on the sink and he grabs some toilet paper and hands it to me, he then pulls me up so I can wash my hands and he can wash his.

Instead of leading me to my room he scoops me up in his arms and carries me there. He sets me on the bed so that I'm sitting upright and he grabs a t-shirt from a bag on the floor. I know it's his shirt even though my eyes are closed because of the smell, it smells like his cologne and a little bit like pine sol and the April fresh detergent he uses. I open my eyes and glance down; attempting to smile at the Berkeley t-shirt he's placed on me. He pulls the covers back on the bed and eases me down before turning away. I grab at his hand; I don't want him to leave.

"I'm not leaving, Livvy. I'll be right back, I promise." He says, continuing his little trick where he reads my mind and squeezing my hand in reassurance.

A few moments later I feel him slip into bed beside me. He pulls me close and I relax immediately at the feel of his bare chest against my back. I turn around so that we are facing each other and I nuzzle my head into his neck and quickly fall asleep.

I wake up – I'm not sure how much later – and find Fitz still asleep. I'm less dizzy and my head feels much less foggy so I try to get up without waking Fitz.

Of course that doesn't work and his eyes shoot open.

"Livvy, what do you need? Don't get up; I'll get whatever it is for you."

I muster up a small smile, "I have to pee."

He laughs, "All right, maybe you do have to get up."

I try to stand by myself and he isn't having any of it, he grabs me around the waist and leads me into the bathroom.

I sit down on the toilet and he steps back but doesn't leave the room.

"You know, I'll be okay on my own." I say, waiting for him to leave the bathroom to give me a little privacy.

He laughs, "I'm staying here in case you fall off."

I scowl at him but find myself a little shaky and grab for the counter. Fitz laughs.

"Olivia, just go, a few hours ago I was holding a stick under you while you peed on it, I think we've officially ventured into territory where it's okay for me to just stand here while you pee."

I straighten up, I forgot about the pregnancy test. I finish on the toilet and I get up to wash my hands. Fitz is holding me by the waist so that I'm steady and as I'm wiping my hands I notice the test sitting on the counter.

I turn to look at Fitz as I'm drying off my hands, "What…what did it say?" I ask timidly, not even sure if he checked the results yet.

He shakes his head, "You're not."

I let out a huge sigh of relief but at the same time I notice that he looks a little sad. I suppose I'll talk to him about it later, after all it's a conversation we should probably have anyway. I'm on birth control and we don't use condoms even though we probably still should. I am not the greatest at taking my birth control on time. And sex is without a doubt better sans a condom. It's hard to use them when you know it feels better just skin on skin. I really need to get that implant if we're going to continue to forgo condoms.

"Come on," he whispers, "back to bed."

He slowly walks me back to the room and gets me situated under the covers and then turns to walk out the door.

I attempt to sit up, "Are you leaving?" I know I sound whinier than I intend too and I hate that.

He turns back around and walks back to the bed, bending down and placing a hand on my face. "No, of course I'm not leaving. I'm going to get you a glass of water and I'll be right back."

I smile at him and close my eyes, reassured that he isn't leaving me. He comes back a moment later and sets the glass on my bedside table before making his way over to the other side. He slides into bed and pulls me to him so that my back is completely pressed along his front. His arm is around my body, holding me snugly to him so that I feel safe and warm and I slowly drift back off to sleep.

I wake up and realize that I am alone in bed. I frown and I look over at the clock. It's already 9 AM so Fitz is obviously already at work.

I lie back down in bed and continue to pout. I know I shouldn't be upset that he left but I wish he would have at least woke me up before he left.

"You're up." I hear someone say from the hallway.

I sit up abruptly and a wave of nausea hits me. Fitz rushes over to my side and lifts up the garbage can but thankfully it passes and I slowly lie back down on the bed and turn to face him.

He kneels down next to the bed and he places a hand on my forehead.

"How are you feeling?" He asks quietly.

I manage a small smile, "Not great but better than yesterday. Why aren't you at work?"

He smiles at me and continues to stroke my forehead. "Because there was no way in hell I was leaving you."

I tense up a little bit and he knows why. "Don't worry Livvy, they think I'm golfing."

I relax, "So you're going to stay with me all day?"

"I'm going to stay with you all day." He says, giving me one of his beautiful grins.

"Do you need anything Livvy? How about some food?"

I shake my head, "Just some more water please?" I ask, motioning to the empty glass on my bedside table.

"As you wish." He says, grabbing the glass and heading out of my room to fill it up.

He comes back a moment later and he sits down next to me and helps me sit up a little straighter so that I can take a sip.

When I am finished he sets the glass on the bedside table and puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to him.

I wrap my arm around his torso and we fall into a comfortable silence.

After a little while I look up at him, "You looked sad." I say, breaking the silence.

"What?" Fitz asks, looking at me, confusion evident on his face.

"You looked kind of sad when you told me the test was negative."

He sighs and turns toward me, "Honestly, I was a little bit. All I could think about all day at work was what it would be like if we did make a baby and…and it made me happy. I just haven't realized how lonely I've been for the last decade and you've made me remember what it's like to be with someone and I thought about how adding another someone to that would be…great. And, I know it's not the right time but I just, I'm serious about you Olivia. This isn't a fling and I just…I hope you feel that way as well."

I turn my head to look at him and I scoot myself up a little bit so that I can kiss him lightly, "Of course I feel that way."

He smiles back at me and we fall into comfortable silence again.

Of course I can't let it go on too long and brain is buzzing with new questions that I can't help myself from asking.

"How many babies do you want?" I ask, I don't know why I'm prying this much but suddenly I cannot quell my curiosity.

He turns over to me and sends me a devilish smile, "We're talking about this?"

I shrug, "Technically you brought it up."

He laughs, "All right, I always wanted four, a big brood of kids because it was just me when I was a kid and it got lonely."

My eyes go wide, "Hmm, four kids."

Fitz laughs at me.

"Didn't Mellie want kids?" I ask timidly.

Fitz shakes his head, "Not really, and I sort of stopped wanting kids pretty quickly after we got married, but I think that was more about me just not wanting kids with her anymore. When we got divorced it all kind of came back to me."

"You guys have been divorced for a long time, how come you didn't find someone else during that time?"

"Because once you've been married and you realize what love isn't, you become acutely aware of all the things that you don't want in a relationship and I just, I realized I didn't want to settle for someone I wasn't truly in love with."

"And you don't want to have kids with someone you aren't in love with."

"Right." Fitz says, nodding his head.

Fitz has just indirectly admitted that he's in love with me and it's making me very nervous so I think about how I can change the subject.

"Well, as someone who has two sisters I can tell you that I'm very glad I have them, but there were moments I absolutely hated having them growing up."

"So which sister do you get along with best?"

"Honestly, Caroline. I think Victoria and I were too close in age growing up. She's only two years older than me and only one grade older than me so we were in a lot of the same activities and had a lot of the same friends, even liked a few of the same boys, that was never fun. With Caroline there was no overlap like that so it was a little easier. Was it hard not having siblings? I imagine it would have been nice to not have to share everything or have anyone stealing your clothes and hogging all the attention but at the same time I don't think I'd ever trade my sisters for anything."

Fitz laughs, "Well I spent a lot of time with my cousin Charlotte, she's about six months older than me and she's like a sister to me."

"That's nice. Kind of like a pseudo-sibling. I reach my hand up and run it through his already mussed up hair, "You look handsome even with bed head."

He reaches down and caresses my face, "And you're beautiful even after you've spent an entire day puking."

I roll over onto my back and away from Fitz, putting my hands over my face. "I am so sorry you had to witness that. I am so humiliated."

Fitz turns over and drapes an arm over my torso, "Liv, it happens, I'm sure it's going to happen again and I'm sure you'll get the pleasure of nursing me back to health sometime too."

I take a deep breath, "Fitz, this scares me."

His head is resting on my sternum and he lifts it up slightly in order to talk to me.

"That's okay, Livvy. It's okay to be scared."

I look down at him, "I'm just, I'm wondering how I got to this place and what I did to deserve you and when this bubble is going to burst and you're going to realize that you can do so much better than me."

Fitz scoots himself up my body so that he can prop his head on up on the pillow where mine is and he turns my face with his other hand. "I don't know what happened to you, how you ever convinced yourself that you aren't worthy of love, but I am here to tell you that you need to get over that because I am not going anywhere."

I look away from him for a minute so that I can compose myself because there are tears threatening my eyes.

"Fitz, you are seventeen years older than me. And before you cut me off and tell you how it doesn't bother you I need to say something. I know that it doesn't bother you and it doesn't bother me either but it bothering us isn't really the issue. The issue is that seventeen years presents us with certain…difficulties."

Fitz has an annoying grin on his face like he thinks I'm being ridiculous, "Difficulties?"

I roll my eyes and turn over on my side so that I am facing him directly. "Yes, and don't be condescending." I take a deep breath, "I am twenty-six years old, I do want kids but I don't want them right now. I don't even want them in the next few years. I never imagined having kids until I was in my thirties. Honestly, I never even saw myself getting married until I was at least thirty."

I pause for a moment to get a read off Fitz, his eyes are narrowed and he's concentrating hard on what I'm saying.

"If I am thirty years old that puts you at forty-seven. I just…I don't want you to have any regrets. I mean even if we did make it that far I probably won't be ready to have kids for a few more years. Do you really want to start having kids when you are fifty? I just don't want you to look back on your life and regret that you waited so long for me."

Fitz is now grinning at me again, that goofy know-it-all grin that I love and hate all at the same time.

"Is this funny, Mr. Grant?" I say, trying to be serious but I'm starting to crack a smile myself.

"You really think I care about any of that? I'm fine with being a Dad for the first time at fifty. Hell, I'll wait to marry you until I turn fifty if that's what you want. I've been divorced for a long time, if all I was concerned about was getting married and having kids at a certain age then I would have just married someone I could have tolerated but I didn't do that. I don't care what age I get married or have kids at, the most important thing to me is that I'm doing it with the person I love."

I'm sure I look ridiculous staring at Fitz with this dumbfounded look on my face but I have no words.

He puts his hand on my cheek and strokes it with his thumb.

After a moment I finally find some words even if it is simply, "Okay."

"Okay." Fitz says back, the beautiful grin on his face making me smile too.

* * *

I TRULY love all your comments! I know Liv is coming off as immature in regards to relationships but she's twenty-six and she's only ever had ONE serious boyfriend before Fitz. She IS immature! And she's technically been with Jake for about six years; it's hard to end it with someone when they are all you've ever known. Don't forget Jake also helped her through a very difficult period in her life and it's hard to completely throw away that kind of relationship—especially when you're not entirely sure if what you're throwing it away for is going to work out. Jake is easy and comfortable and she's afraid to let that go. Plus she's scared of her relationship with Fitz because he's older and devastatingly handsome and she's afraid she doesn't deserve him. I know I know, she DOES deserve him! Believe me, she'll figure it out sooner or later, just be patient with her as she figures some things out. :] So I understand that you're frustrated with her and I promise she's going to figure her shit out! lol THANK you for reading and being so invested in this story. It makes my heart happy. :]

OH and thank you to the people who pointed out that Jake called her "Livvy" that was NOT supposed to happen! My fingers apparently just want to type Livvy all the time because I accidentally did it two other times but I caught those when I edited. I can't believe I missed another one! Yuck! Sorry about that! I did go back and fix it, my apologies to all who were skeeved out by it! lol

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	21. Chapter 21

"They were smiling at each other as if this was the beginning of the world."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Love of the Last Tycoon

* * *

Fitz barges into my office around ten o'clock on a Tuesday morning with a huge grin on his face. I look up from my computer and I can't help but laugh at him.

Instead of sitting in one of the chairs across from my desk he comes over to me and pushes my chair away from my desk and sits down next to my keyboard, then pulling my chair in between his legs.

I continue laugh because he looks ridiculously chipper. "Um, what is with you, you're in a strangely good mood?"

He laughs at me and then pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it to me.

On his screen there is a webpage open, it's to a vineyard in Carmel called the Chateau Adelina. I scroll down the page and look at a few pictures; it looks like a fairy tale.

I look up at Fitz, who is still grinning like a madman, "What is this?"

"This is where we are spending our Saturday."

I look up at him, "Seriously?"

He nods and takes his phone back, putting it in his pocket. "Yep, we're driving down to Carmel and we are going to spend a glorious Saturday night walking through the vineyards, touring the chateau, tasting wines, and having a gourmet dinner."

I'm looking up at him and I don't really know what to say, I know we mentioned a weekend away together a couple weeks ago but we never really talked about it any more or made any definitive plans so I'm a little overjoyed that he was serious about it.

"That sounds…amazing. Carmel is my _favorite_ city." I say, standing up and giving him a hug.

Fitz puts his arms around my waist, "Imagine you and me, away together, no one knows us, we can act like a normal couple. You can wear a ridiculously sexy dress to dinner and I can leer at you openly."

I start to laugh as Fitz continues to talk, "We can stroll through the vineyards and I can hold your hand. We can stand too close together when we get a tour of the winery."

He has pulled me closer to him and has started to place light kisses down my neck. "I can even kiss you in public."

I start to laugh harder and I push myself away from him, "That sounds glorious, but you need to get off my desk before someone catches us."

Fitz pretends to pout, "Thanks for ruining my romantic moment."

"By that you mean your attempt to get into my pants at work again?" I snort.

Fitz smirks and stands up, taking a step closer to me and tugging at the side of my skirt lightly. "Actually, my plan was to get up your skirt."

I swat his hand away and roll my eyes as I sit back down in my chair, "Lovely. So is this place a hotel or just a place where we're spending the day?"

"It's not a hotel; we're just going to be spending the afternoon there."

"So we don't have to leave too early Saturday, do we? I mean, Carmel isn't even an hour and half drive from here."

Fitz laughs, "Nope, we're going up on Friday night after work. I have a house up there so that's where we'll stay."

I smirk at him and shake my head dramatically, "Of _course _you have a house in Carmel."

He places his hands on the armrest of my chair and leans forward, cocking his head to the side, "I have several houses. If I take you to one further away can we have sex in the office?"

I burst out laughing and shove him away from me, "Seriously, you are a pervert. A huge pervert."

He's grinning at me, "True."

I roll my eyes, "Okay, leave me alone so I can get my work done!" I say as I pull my chair back to my desk.

Fitz sighs in defeat, "Fine, I'll go back to my office but sooner or later I'm going to get into your pants at work and you're going to like it."

I whip a pen at him and he barely dodges it, laughing as he sneaks through the door and back into his office.

Friday finally comes and we manage to leave San Jose by 5:45 after a quick stop at my apartment to grab my things and change out of our work clothes.

A little over an hour later I am skipping down the pier in Monterey because I'm thrilled that Fitz caved and stopped so we could eat copious amounts of clam chowder.

He's laughing at me as I grab samples from all the different restaurants along the pier.

We eat a quick dinner and we head out by 7 PM. It's a fairly short drive to Carmel from there and thankfully it is still pretty light out when we arrive.

Fitz turns onto a road right along the coast and we drive a ways until we hit a gate. He enters a code into the gate and it opens for us, leading us down a driveway.

My mouth drops open when I see the house. It's enormous and it's absolutely breathtaking. It's modern with sharp angles and not much detailing except the beautiful glass windows as far as the eye can see.

"Oh my god." I exclaim.

Fitz pulls the car into the garage and we get out.

"Oh my god. Seriously Fitz, this place is insane. I mean, I don't even want to know how much this place cost you because I'm pretty sure it would make me faint."

Fitz laughs and shakes his head, "You want the full tour?" He asks, holding his hand out for me to take it.

He gives me the tour; the house is all whites and beiges with blues and greens accenting them. It's typical beach décor but it's not at all tacky, it's subtle and classy and gorgeous. There are floor to ceiling windows all throughout the house so you get incredible views of the ocean and you can even see the links at Pebble Beach in the distance.

We walk outside and there is an amazing fire pit and luxurious lounge chairs on the patio looking out over the ocean. There is even a staircase leading down to the beach and another bonfire pit and a beautiful tiered pool off to the side of the house.

"How long have you had this place?" I say, turning to look at him, my hair blowing in the wind and getting all over the place.

Fitz puts his hands in his pockets and looks down at the ground. "I bought it about five years ago. I was having a hard time, I didn't think I was ever going to find someone and I wanted to buy a house, a house that I could one day bring my family to. A house where my kids would look forward to spending weekends at and think of as their escape from everything. I bought this house because it seemed like a promise to myself. A promise that one day I would have someone to share it with, someone to escape with."

I walk over to him and I wrap my arms around his torso, "You're very romantic, you know that?"

He wraps an arm around my shoulders, "I know."

I look up at him, "So that bed upstairs looked pretty comfortable."

He starts to laugh, "Are you propositioning me?"

I take his face in my hands and get up on my tiptoes to kiss him, "Definitely."

He pulls me up and I wrap my legs around him. I am wearing loose, light colored jeans that are rolled up around my ankles and a white, off the shoulder, loose knit sweater with a navy blue tank top underneath.

Fitz is looking gorgeous, as usual, in dark wash jeans and a light blue button up. I love that he dresses well; it's such a turn on.

His hands are gripping my bum and holding me up against him as he carries me up the stairs to the bedroom.

We get to the bedroom and I have somehow managed to unbutton his shirt all the way.

We get into the room and he shuts the door behind us, pressing my back up against it.

I manage to push his shirt off his shoulders and I go to work on unfastening his pants.

Fitz's hands are up my shirt and his mouth makes its way down to my neck. He releases my legs so that I can stand upright on the floor again and I yank his pants down, making him laugh.

He then kicks them off and goes to work on my pants while I throw my shirt and tank top across the room.

Fitz is kneeling in front of me and kissing my stomach as he unbuttons and unzips my pants and pulls them down and helps me step out of them.

Fitz then lifts up one of my legs and hooks it around his shoulder and his mouth finds my center.

I lean against the door and I close my eyes as his mouth continues its spectacular work between my legs.

I'm gripping his hair with my hands and trying not to grip it too hard but his mouth is just so talented and I'm about to fall apart.

My orgasm hits me hard and I'd fall over if Fitz didn't catch me. He picks me up and brings me over to the bed and lays me down on it, covering my body with his own.

His breath is hot against my neck and his hands are running down my sides and making my whole body tingle. My hands are around his neck, gripping his strong back.

I can feel him between my legs and I wrap my legs around him so I can pull him even closer to me.

He lifts his head up and he's smiling at me and I'm smiling back at him and this feels so right, like he's everything. We could stay here together in this bubble for the rest of our lives and I would be okay with that because he is all I care about in this moment.

He brings his lips to mine once again and now our tongues are dueling and it's hot and heavy and perfect.

His hand finds my neck and he lifts my head up a little and puts his other hand on the pillow in order to brace himself.

Eventually he starts to kiss back down my neck and to my chest again. He sits up after a moment and he runs his hands down my thighs and across my stomach and then lines himself up with my core and thrusts into me.

His body is covering mine once again and his lips are back on mine as he thrusts into me.

My hands find their way down to his muscular butt and they squeeze, making him laugh.

We are lost in a rhythm all our own when I loose myself and let go. Fitz comes soon after and he collapses on top of me and we are both breathing heavily as we try to compose ourselves.

Fitz lifts himself off of me and reaches up so he can toss the decorative pillows off the bed and then pulls the covers down.

I move so that he can pull them under me and then I crawl beneath them as he does and I reach for him so that I can pull my body as close to him as possible.

He kisses my forehead and I bury my head in his neck, taking in a deep breath and letting his scent waft through my nostrils and make me feel so completely content.

"Thank you for bringing me here Fitz." I whisper.

I can feel him smile against my forehead, "You are actually the first person I've ever brought here."

I pull away so I can see his face, "Are you serious?"

He nods his head; "I gutted it after I bought it which took almost two years so I never showed it to anyone during that time and after that it just felt wrong. I didn't want it to be some place I just took my friends and had parties for clients at, I wanted it to be a sanctuary for me and the people I love. So I wanted to wait for the right person."

I don't know what to say so I just kiss him lightly and then I watch him slowly fall asleep.

He's really beautiful. I know that it's strange to say that about a man but it's true in Fitz's case. My favorite feature is his eyes, they're a gorgeous stormy blue and they seem to change color with his emotions. I've never seen eyes on anyone that I think are as beautiful as Fitz's eyes.

I'm pretty sure he's fallen asleep so I run my hand through his hair and I whisper softly, "I'm kind of mad at you Fitzgerald." I say but he doesn't even flinch, he's definitely asleep.

"I'm kind of mad at you because you're making me fall in love with you."

With that I put my head down on the pillow and I let myself drift off to sleep.

I wake up the next morning and Fitz is nowhere to be found.

I sit up in bed and look out the window; it's a gorgeous day out. I get up and if the walls of the entire house weren't basically all windows I'd probably walk around naked. But I don't know how private this area is so I should probably put some clothes on.

I walk into the bathroom and am surprised to find a silk robe folded on the counter and a card sitting on top of it with my name on it. I quickly brush my teeth and put it on. It feels amazing as I put it on and I can't help but run my hands along my arms.

I wander downstairs and I find Fitz shirtless and only wearing pajama pants slung low on his hips as he cooks something on the stove.

"Good morning." I say from the staircase.

Fitz sees me and smiles. "Good morning beautiful."

I walk down the stairs and over to him, I see that he's making pancakes and I can feel my mouth start to water. I didn't realize how hungry I was. I reach him and lean over and kiss him lightly on the cheek as he flips a pancake on the stove.

"This smells amazing. And by the way, thank you for this." I say, motioning to the robe, "Why did you buy this for me?" I ask, hoisting myself up onto the counter next to him so that I can watch him as he cooks.

"You always get so mad when you don't have your robe when you're at my house and then you bring it over and forget it there and then you don't have it at your house and you get mad again. I bought it so you don't have to keep bringing the other one to my house, you can just keep this one there so you have it all the time."

I laugh, "That was very sweet."

He smiles, "I am a very sweet guy."

I roll my eyes, "Humble too. So what are we doing today?"

"Well, I thought we could start out by eating breakfast outside. Then maybe we could go for a walk on the beach. After that I'd like to take you into town and we can look through the shops but around 4 we are going to head over to the Chateau. We are going to stroll through the vineyards and get a tour of the winery and then we are going to eat dinner under the stars. It's going to be very romantic, it will probably be hard for you to keep your hands off me, just thought I'd warn you."

I pinch his shoulder and he squirms away from me, "You are such an ass."

He puts the last of the pancakes on plates and he grabs them in his hands and walks outside where I see he has already set up the table and there is juice, coffee, an assortment of fruit, and a few jars that I assume contain syrup.

I stop in the doorway. It's warm but it's a little breezy and I'm not really sure how private this area is and I'm not exactly covered very well in this robe. "Maybe I should go put some clothes on?"

Fitz sets the plates on the table and then walks over to me and grabs my hand, "Nope, this is our romantic weekend away, house rules are you have to be either naked or in your robe, nothing else."

He pulls me toward a chair by the table and he sits down, pulling me onto his lap.

I laugh, "How long have those rules been enacted?"

He runs a hand down my neck and kisses me lightly, "Since always. This is my naked house. I come here alone and I just walk around naked all the time. I just let it all hang out, right in front of the windows, on the patio, even down at the beach."

I can't stop laughing, "You are so full of shit."

He grins at me and leans in to plant a kiss on me.

I curl into his side, it's easy because this is a fairly large chair with wonderfully fluffy cushions.

I pull my legs up so they are over his and I wrap one arm around his neck and I use the other to grab a fork and get myself a bite of pineapple.

It's juicy and sweet and tastes absolutely delicious. "Mmm Fitz this is amazing." I say as I spear another piece with my fork and bring it up to his mouth.

But he doesn't go for that, instead he brings his mouth to mine and all of a sudden his mouth is hot on mine and his hand makes its way up my robe and I'm lost for a minute in the greatness of this kiss.

I am disappointed when his mouth breaks away from mine, "You're right. That was delicious."

I laugh and roll my eyes at him, "It's probably better when it's not mixed with secondhand spit."

"I like your spit."

I cannot help but laugh, "That's disgusting. You're disgusting."

He shrugs his shoulders and leans forward so grab a fork and we both start to eat.

"So do you come up here alone often?" I ask between bites of food.

"Not as often as I'd like to. My family used to come up here when I was a kid; we would spend almost half the summer here. We actually had a house just down the street from here, I considered buying it but I knew I would end up wanting to gut it and I felt bad doing that. So I found this one and I kept the basic frame of the house but I changed almost everything about it. I wanted it to feel like those early days but at the same time I wanted it to be my own. I wanted to make my own memories here instead of being constantly reminded of all my old ones."

I smile at him, "I'm honored to be the first person you've brought here."

He grins, "Finish your food. You're too skinny."

I roll my eyes but continue to eat.

We finish our breakfast, change into our clothes and take a walk down the beach. It's so nice to be able to act like a couple outside the house and not worry about anyone judging us by our age difference. It's only the beginning of April so it's not too busy on the beach but it is still California and us Californians love our beaches year round so there are still a few people around.

We walk hand in hand along the water, it's freezing but I still like it when it touches my toes and it doesn't take long to adjust to the temperature.

There are people who look at us on the beach but they aren't looking at us in an appalled way like I sometimes fear will happen, like I'm some gold digging whore and Fitz is a cradle-robbing pervert. They don't seem to see our age difference or if they do they just don't care. They look at us like we are a couple in love, and I think maybe we are.

Later that morning we make our way into town and stroll along the downtown streets wandering in and out of the shops.

All of a sudden Fitz stops in front of one and he's staring at the window with his eyes wide open.

I turn my head to see what he is looking at and I realize that it's a dress, a very beautiful dress.

"Come on," he says tugging my hand, "you need that dress."

He pulls me into the boutique and he heads to the rack to look for the dress.

I look around the store, frozen in one spot as he scours the place for the dress.

After a moment he walks over to me with the dress in his hand.

"Livvy, what's wrong?" He asks, the grin on his face fading to a frown when he sees my expression.

I look around to make sure no one is near us before I respond, "Fitz, this is a designer boutique, I can't just afford a dress like that on a whim."

Fitz starts to laugh and shakes his head, "You're not buying this, I am. Come on Livvy, pick out some clothes, I want to buy you things."

I cross my arms over my chest, "That's nice Fitz and I appreciate it but I don't need you to buy me anything."

He's now looking at me like I'm crazy, "I know you don't _need _me to buy you anything, I _want_ to buy you something."

I'm biting my lip because I really don't want to make a scene. "Fitz, come on, I don't want you to buy me anything."

He steps forward and places a hand on my cheek. "Olivia Pope if you do not pick out some clothes to try on then I will grab a bunch of things and just buy them all. Everything."

I don't want to but I can't help it when I crack a small smile.

"Why does me wanting to spend my money on you make you so uncomfortable?" He asks quietly, his eyes narrowing as he tries to read my expression.

I look around to make sure no one is close enough to hear us again, "Because I don't want you to think I'm some kind of gold digger."

Fitz starts to laugh so hard that he actually has to bend over a little bit in order to catch his breath. "Are you serious, Livvy?"

I don't answer verbally but I give him a glare that I know emphasizes how serious I am.

"I know you aren't using me for my money you nut. How could you even think I actually believe that?"

He looks hurt now and I open up my mouth to say I'm sorry but he continues talking.

"When it is so painfully obvious that you are using me for my body?"

I start to laugh when I see his face go from deadly serious to goofy grin, "You are such an ass."

"That may be true, but I'm an ass who knows your feelings for me are genuine and has never once believed—nor ever will believe—that you are using me for my money. Now will you please pick out some clothes before I have to ask one of these sales associates to ring up one of everything?"

I roll my eyes but head toward the racks of clothing to pick some things out.

We look through the racks and I pick a few pieces of clothing to try on only to turn around and realize that Fitz has a whole pile of clothes in his arms too.

"Oh my god Fitzgerald. You cannot be serious?" I say, crossing my arms in front of my body and shooting him an exasperated look.

He just laughs at me, "Oh come on, it'll be fun."

I shake my head, "I'm beginning to think this is all a ruse to get me to take my clothes off."

There's a twinkle in his eye, "You get clothes, I get to stare at you in various stages of undress, we both win."

I roll my eyes again and head back toward the dressing rooms. I'm grateful it's one of those boutiques with great dressing rooms because I've always hated trying on clothes in front of other women; this is thankfully one of those where you have your own private area. There's the actual dressing room part but then there's a private sitting area with a curtain and a full-length mirror. I walk to the one at the very end of the row and through the curtain and into the actual dressing room, I pull Fitz in with me and set my clothes down and then his and wrap my arms around his neck so that our noses are touching.

"You," I whisper, "are sitting out there." I point to a chair just outside the door.

He clutches his chest feigning being wounded and I push him backward out of the dressing room.

"You are evil Ms. Pope, depriving me of you like this is just cruel."

I laugh at him and stick my tongue out before shutting the door and turning around to grab the first outfit and put it on.

It's something Fitz picked out and as I disrobe and put it on I realize it's actually very pretty. It's a long white sleeveless maxi dress that cinches at the waist and has this pretty blue print on it.

I step out of the dressing room shyly to a smiling Fitz.

"I knew that would look gorgeous on you." He says. He is leaning on the armrest of the chair and has chin resting in his hand.

I see the price tag and I turn it around so I can look at it.

My eyes open wide when I see the tag says $300.

"Oh my god Fitz you cannot buy me this." I say, dropping the tag and turning around to go back into the room.

Fitz stands up and catches the door before I can shut it and wraps his arms around me, his mouth finds my ear and he whispers, "Do not look at any more price tags. I am buying you anything you want and if you say you don't want anything in order to get me to not buy you anything, well, that's going to backfire because then I'm just going to buy all of this."

He steps backward and turns me around to face him. "Now try on something else."

I can't help but smile at him as he shuts the door and makes his way out.

This goes on for a little while, I try on dresses and skirts and pants and shirts until there is only one left—the first dress that Fitz picked out.

It's a beautiful dress; it's white lace with three quarter length sleeves. There's a lining in the dress but the lining only covers what it needs to, just the skirt of the dress and the front to just above my chest. The back and the arms are just lace and the white color looks great against my skin.

I poke my head out of the door and see that Fitz is standing only a few feet away.

He cocks his head to the side, "You going to come out so I can see you?"

I flash him a teasing smile and I pause a minute before stepping out.

Fitz's jaw drops open when he gets a look at the dress.

I turn around slowly so he can see it from every angle.

"So what do you think?"

His hand is covering his open mouth and it takes him a minute before he says anything.

"I think that dress was made for you."

I shake my head and look away, "You know what it kind of reminds me of? The dress I wore…"

"The dress you wore to the first client dinner I ever took you to." He interrupts.

We just stand there staring at each other, both of us lost in our own little world.

"Will you wear it to dinner tonight?" He asks quietly, still not taking his eyes off me.

"Of course." I respond, my face unable to do anything but grin at him.

Fitz ends up buying me more clothes than I'm comfortable with but he insists on it and I can't look as the cashier rings them up because I don't even want to know how much money he's spent on me. Plus the cashier is giving me dirty looks out of the corner of her eye, she's clearly wondering what Fitz is doing with me but I don't even care because while she's obviously flirting with Fitz he isn't giving her anything back.

We head home and start getting ready for our night. Normally I would just get ready in front of Fitz but tonight I made him get out of the bathroom so I could get ready alone because even though he saw me wearing it in the store I want to surprise him with the full image of me all made up with the dress on.

I also want to surprise him with the sexy backless bustier top I thankfully brought with me, since the dress I was initially going to wear didn't have a back either, and the sexy lacy underwear I bought on Thursday just for this weekend.

I move to leave the bathroom and poke my head out and see Fitz sitting on the bed, waiting patiently for me. "Fitz, close your eyes." I say, pulling my head back into the bathroom.

He laughs at me and I stomp my foot on the ground, "Fitz, come on, do it!"

He laughs again, "Okay, okay my eyes are closed."

I poke my head out again and his eyes are definitely closed. I walk out of the bathroom and stand before him. "Okay, you can open your eyes."

He opens them and his mouth drops. He grabs my hands and pulls me so that I am standing between his legs.

He runs his hands down my sides, "Livvy, you look absolutely gorgeous."

I hike my dress further up my thighs so that I can straddle his lap and I bend down to kiss him, taking his face in my hands.

Before I know it Fitz has flipped me over onto my back and has my dress up around my waist. He slowly pulls my underwear down and all of a sudden his mouth is between my legs.

I am moaning within seconds from the glorious work his mouth is doing. He has one hand splayed over my pelvis and the other is around my thigh to hold me steady.

I grab a pillow and put it over my face so that it muffles my screams of pleasure. Men must just have an innate talent for this, either they are born knowing how to do it well or they aren't. I'm pretty sure there's no in between.

I find my release and Fitz rides it out with me slowly. I'm breathing heavily and Fitz crawls up the bed and pulls the pillow off my face and leans in and gives me a long kiss. I can taste myself on him and I moan when he pulls away.

He's grinning wickedly at me, "Time to leave!" And he jumps up off the bed.

I groan, "You're going to kill me. Seriously, how did you get so good at that?" I say as I sit up.

Fitz turns to look at me and extends his hand to help me stand up. "Didn't we establish it's just my superpower?" He pulls me to him and kisses me lightly. "Okay, we actually do need to go now."

I bend down to fix my dress and grab my purse. "Let's go, boyfriend." I say with a grin.

Less than twenty minutes later Fitz and I pull up to the Chateau, it's breathtaking, almost like a fairy tale. There are vineyards as far the eye can see and the buildings make me feel like I'm a princess coming home to her castle. He parks the car and we get out. This place is so beautiful, tucked between the mountains and I feel like we've left the real word because this place is so unbelievably perfect that it must only exist in my imagination.

I can't stop turning around because I want to look at everything. Fitz is just looking at me and laughing, "So what do you think?"

I turn to look at him and I throw my hands up in the air, "I don't, I don't even have words. This place is incredible. It's like something out of a fairy tale."

"Maybe like something out of The Princess Bride?" He teases.

I can feel my cheeks get warm, "How do you know I like The Princess Bride?"

He puts his hands in his pockets and takes a shy step toward me. "You're not exactly good at hiding your love of it. There's about six copies of the movie on your DVD rack, there are several copies of the novel hidden in with all the copies of your Fitzgerald novels, and you have a movie poster hiding behind your door."

I bite my lip; I didn't realize Fitz paid that much attention to what's in my room.

"Oh, right, I didn't think you'd notice that stuff."

Fitz gently moves a loose strand of hair out of my face, "It's important to you, I noticed."

I'm smiling at him and I reach my hand up to cover his hand that's cupping my cheek.

Before I can say anything I see a short man make his way out of the building. He runs over to Fitz. He's wearing a chef's hat and he is a bit stout and has a huge smile on his face. "Fitzgerald Grant! It is wonderful to see you!" He says in a thick French accent and proceeds to give Fitz a long hug.

"Hey, Hugo, it's great to see you." Fitz says with a smile as he hugs the man.

Hugo pulls back from Fitz and looks at me, "I am so rude, Fitzgerald, who is this absolutely stunning woman you have with you?"

Fitz wraps an arm around me and pulls me to his side, "This, Hugo, is my girlfriend Olivia. Olivia, this is Hugo Audette, his family owns the Chateau and he is the chef here."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." I say, extending my hand but Hugo ignores it and goes in for a hug. "It is wonderful to meet you Olivia, such a beautiful name for such a beautiful woman. You are like a princess my dear! A very young princess." He adds, winking at Fitz.

I blush and turn my head away but of course Hugo sees anyway. "Don't be bashful, I am French, Olivia. The French know that love doesn't have anything to do with age. We are attracted to souls, not to numbers."

I'm blushing again but this time it's not by what Hugo has said it's because Fitz is looking at me with that gorgeous grin he rarely uses for anyone except me.

"I couldn't agree more, Hugo." Fitz says, never once taking his eyes off me.

A minute later a woman comes out of the building and she introduces herself as Adelina.

"You're who the Chateau is named after?" I ask, sort of in awe.

Adelina smiles and puts her arm around Hugo and kisses him on the cheek.

They are an adorable couple, I'd guess they're in their upper sixties. They are both rather short and they both have silvery grey hair.

"I am." She says, "Hugo bought this vineyard as a surprise on my forty-fifth birthday. We had talked about leaving France and moving here for so many years and I didn't think we'd do it until we were much older but then he bought this vineyard and he drove me here and he told me he was renaming it the Chateau Adelina and he was going to make it look like a cottage in the French countryside so we would never get homesick."

"Wow, that's incredible." I say, floored by Adelina's romantic tale.

"I got lucky." Adelina says, turning to look at Hugo and I squeeze Fitz's hand.

He smiles down at me and intertwines our fingers together.

Hugo starts to speak; "We have known Fitzgerald since he was a young boy. We met his family while we were vacationing here, oh how long ago was it Fitzgerald?"

Fitz laughs, "Hugo you're going to make me seem old."

Hugo waves Fitz off with his hands and I laugh.

"We met Fitzgerald for the first time when he was twelve years old." Adelina cuts in, "That was over thirty years ago."

"I bet he was a cute kid." I say in an attempt to tease him because I just love that he's embarrassed.

Adelina claps her hands together and starts to laugh, "He was an adorable little boy and always so sweet. He was a little prince; he's still a prince. You're a very lucky girl."

Now I'm blushing again, "I agree."

Hugo and Adelina give us a tour, they tell us the history of the winery and they show us how the wine is made.

Hugo announces that he must go in and start to cook dinner and Adelina goes with, leaving Fitz and I to stroll around the vineyard together.

We walk around silently, hand in hand, just taking in the beautiful scenery around us.

After a little while I stop and step in front of him and grab his other hand.

"I can't believe you did this for me." I say, staring into his beautiful blue eyes.

"Seriously Fitz, I have never had anyone treat me this way. I've never had anyone try this hard to get to know me. I don't…I don't know how to do this, I don't know how not to be scared. But…but I think I'm okay with being scared, I'm okay with being scared because I trust you and I want to be with you and I am willing to risk everything to be with you. My heart belongs to you, it does, I'd like to be able to deny that but I can't anymore. And I am terrified, absolutely terrified that one day you're going to wake up and realize that I'm not worth all this hassle but I just…" I'm starting to sob now, "I just…I need you to know how I feel about you. I need you to know that my heart is in your hands, I'm giving you the power to break it but I really hope you won't."

Fitz is just smiling at me and I'm almost confused for a minute until he leans into me, his hands let go of mine and come up to my face, brushing away the tears from my eyes.

"Olivia, I love you."

I want to respond but for some reason I can't stop crying.

Fitz pulls me into his arms, wrapping them around my neck and letting me cry into his chest.

He kisses the side of my head and starts to speak quietly into my ear, "I love you Livvy. I'm completely, madly in love with you. And it's okay if you aren't ready to say the words back to me, it's okay. I understand, I don't expect anything from you Livvy, I just needed you to know because I can't hide it any longer."

I'm finally able to catch my breath and I pull back from Fitz just enough to look him in the eye.

I take a deep breath before I speak, "I love you too. I'm in love with you too."

Fitz's concerned smile turns into his gorgeous thousand-watt grin and he leans in, his lips crash against mine and his hands move to my cheeks.

His tongue slowly parts my lips and he's just kissing me and it's wonderful. His hands move down to my waist and pull my body up against his and I'm grateful because at this point I think my legs are so wobbly that if he wasn't holding onto me I would fall over.

We finally break apart for air and I stare up into his eyes once again and I just start to laugh.

He smiles at me but also looks confused by my reaction.

"You are in love with me." I say and for some reason I just cannot stop laughing.

Thankfully Fitz doesn't seem to mind, "I am in love with you." He says, running a hand through my now messed up hair.

"And I am in love with you." I say, finally starting to calm down.

Fitz just keeps grinning at me, "You are in love with me."

I've stopped laughing completely and finally manage to be serious, "I am in love with you."

He gets serious now too, "I don't think any words have ever sounded as beautiful to me as those."

I smile and run my hand down his cheek and I lean in to kiss him again.

Fitz and I have our dinner at the vineyard and it is absolutely wonderful. We take a gorgeous stroll through the vineyard lit by paper lanterns over our heads and then we head back to Fitz's house.

We don't talk much on the way home because I think we both just instinctively know what we want to do and it's not talk.

We make our way into the house and head upstairs.

I drop my purse on a chair and I take off my shoes. Fitz takes off his shoes too and then turns around to face me.

I climb on the bed and kneel on the edge and I hold my hand out for him to grab.

He takes it and walks over to me, moving his arms down my sides and grasping the hem of my dress with both hands.

He slowly pulls the dress over my head and he runs his hands down my sides once again.

I reach up and undo his tie, tossing it on the floor, and then I start to unbutton his oxford and one of his hands finds its way up to my cheek and he leans in to kiss me.

He lifts me up off the bed and gently lies me down on my back, pressing his body against my own.

My hands are now running through his hair and I'm wrapping my legs around his waist.

I manage to find the buttons on his shirt once again and I slowly but surely get them all unbuttoned and I push the shirt off his shoulders.

He sits up and takes his shirt all the way off and tosses it on the floor and then he starts to undo his pants and slips them off quickly, tossing them on the floor as well.

He's just in his briefs now and I'm just in my underwear. His hands reach behind my back and unbook the bustier then they remove it from my body.

His mouth finds my breasts and I arch my back, moaning as his mouth works his magic.

He kisses his way down my stomach and stops at my panty line. He's teasing me by kissing all along my panties but not taking them off.

But I've had enough of his teasing so I decide to take matters into my own hands.

I reach down and grab his shoulders and pull him up and then I use my legs to flip him totally over on his back.

Fitz starts to laugh, "God, that was sexy." He says, grabbing my face and pulling me down to kiss him.

I pull back after a moment and he frowns which makes me laugh.

"I'm in charge now Mr. Grant." I say as seductively as I can, "Just lie back and relax."

I push him down so he is lying flat on the bed and I start to kiss my way down his chest but when I get to his boxers, I don't stop. I hook my fingers into his briefs and I slide them down his legs. I toss them to the side and my hand finds his member and starts to stroke him lightly.

He groans and I laugh before I take him in my mouth. Fitz may have a super power but he's not the only one who can work some magic with his mouth.

"God Olivia what are you doing to me." He moans.

I continue to pleasure him with my mouth and after a bit I can tell that he's close.

All of a sudden he sits up and he grabs me under my shoulders and pulls me up his body. "Okay, you need to stop or else this night is going to be over very quickly."

I laugh as I start to kiss him and I can now feel him hard against my stomach.

I break away from him and quickly take my underwear off and then reposition myself above him. I find him again with my hand but this time I sink down onto him.

I stay still for a moment to catch my breath and then I start to move.

Fitz has one hand on my thigh and the other is splayed across my abdomen and he starts to thrust his hips slowly and it seems like I can feel him all the way through my body.

I lean forward and my lips find his again and I pick up my thrusts. I can tell he's close by the way his breath is hitching and I am close too.

Fitz knows this because he flips me over so that he's on top of me. He grabs one of my legs pushes it back so the angle he's thrusting at is unbelievably good.

I finally let go and Fitz follows soon after and collapses on top of me. We both catch our breaths and Fitz slides off me and pulls me in close to his body.

"I love you Livvy." He whispers in my ear.

I intertwine my fingers with his, "I love you too, Fitz."

And soon after we both fall into a deep sleep.

* * *

I think that this was my favorite chapter of all. What did you guys think? Was the big moment everything you hoped it would be? Thanks so much for reading and don't forget to leave me some love! Thank you!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	22. Chapter 22

"They had never been closer in their month of love, nor communicated more profoundly with one another, than when she brushed silent lips against his coat's shoulder or when he touched the end of her fingers, gently, as though she were asleep."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

* * *

I wake up the next morning and the sunlight is illuminating everything in the room in a brilliant way.

I look over and see that Fitz is still sleeping contentedly next to me with his arm draped over my torso.

I turn over slightly and run my fingers over his taunt back muscles and just watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful.

After a little while his eyes start to flutter and he sees me and a smile forms on his face.

He doesn't lift his head off the pillow but I feel the arm around my torso grip my side and slide me over so our bodies are touching again.

"Good morning." He says, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

I run my hand through his mussed up hair and I hook my left leg around his right one so that our bodies are even closer together.

Suddenly I feel him against my thigh, "Good morning Mr. Grant, seems you're happy to see me."

He starts to kiss my neck and collarbone and softly whispers, "I'm always happy to see you."

All of a sudden my stomach emits a loud growl, effectively ruining our moment.

Fitz starts to laugh, "I should probably make you some breakfast, shouldn't I?"

I cover my mouth and start to laugh, nodding my head in agreement with him.

He gets up off the bed and he grabs my hand, pulling me up too.

I put my robe on and Fitz puts a pair of boxers on and we head downstairs where we proceed to make ourselves breakfast. We take our food outside and instead of eating at the table Fitz takes me around to the side yard by the pool and over to a huge lounge piece near the first tier of the pool.

We sit down on the enormous piece of furniture, make ourselves comfortable and start eating our breakfast.

"What's on your mind Livvy?" Fitz asks me.

I've just been grinning at him since we sat down so I assume he wants an explanation.

I look away and shake my head, "Um, nothing, its nothing."

Fitz reaches over and grabs my chin so he can turn my head toward him. "Olivia Pope, spill it."

I start to laugh again, "Okay, but you have to be nice about it."

He gives me a confused look, "I am _always_ nice."

I roll my eyes, "Okay, so I have never…" I pause because I'm getting a little nervous; "I have never said I love you to anyone, other than family members and my best friends that is." I'm cringing as I say these words, like I expect him to think I am a complete freak now that he knows this.

"So I'm your first. I'm the first man you've ever said 'I love you' to." He's just grinning at me, this crazy, goofy grin on his face.

I just nod my head in response.

Fitz leans over toward me and puts his hand on my neck. "That's not a bad thing, Livvy. In fact I love that I'm the only person you've ever said it to."

"So you don't think I'm a freak for never saying it before? I mean my best friend in high school dropped it like two months into dating her first boyfriend and I just…I thought that was insane! And so I told myself that I was going to wait to say it until I knew I meant it, until I knew that I was sure because it's a big deal."

Fitz laughs, "I definitely do not think you're a freak. And I agree with you, it is a big deal. Words are only as meaningful as you make them and you wanted your first 'I love you' to be special. I get that and I'm overjoyed that I'm the recipient of those words."

I lean in to kiss him, "I love you."

I can feel his grin against my mouth, "I love you."

We finish eating our breakfast and we just lie down on the lounge and are lazy for a little while.

After I bit I turn to Fitz, "Is your pool heated?"

"Yeah, do you want to swim?"

I nod my head and Fitz gets up off the lounge and grabs my hand, pulling me up with him.

"Let's swim then." He says, dropping his boxers right in front of me.

My eyes go wide and I think my jaw has hit the floor, "Fitz, what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm skinny dipping. Come on, take that robe off and let's go!"

I pull my robe tighter over my body, "No way, I'm not skinny dipping, someone could see us!"

Fitz laughs, "We are in a totally secluded area, no one is going to see us. Come on Livvy, it'll be fun." He says, winking at me.

I start to untie my robe but stop myself before I pull it off, "I swear to god Fitz, if anyone sees us you are not getting into my pants for a month."

He pulls me to him and takes my hands off the tie on my robe and starts to slide it off my body, "I promise you no one will see us."

And just as he drops my robe to the ground he swiftly picks me up and throws me into the pool, jumping in after me.

I stand up in the water and I shake my head in disbelief, "Seriously? Seriously Fitz? Do you get off on throwing me in pools or something?" I'm trying hard to be serious but I can't help myself when I start to laugh.

"It's just so easy. You're so tiny and light I just get a gigantic urge to toss you in the pool. Plus it's just more fun that way."

I swim over to him and put my arms around his neck, "You're lucky I love you."

He kisses me softly, "I am lucky you love me."

Fitz and I spend the rest of our morning in the pool and then we head into town for lunch because Fitz wants to take me to his favorite restaurant downtown.

We walk into a very cute little restaurant. It's a seafood restaurant and has a gorgeous view of the ocean from where it sits above the cliffs.

Fitz gets us a special table at the corner of the eating area. It's right along the edge of the deck and therefore gives an absolutely perfect and completely unobstructed view of the ocean.

The table has two chairs but also meets up with padded bench on the edge of the deck. Fitz and I both sit on the padded bench so that we can sit next to each other and he rests his arm around me.

We settle in and order our food, Fitz gets mahi mahi and I decide on some fish tacos. We are eating and making small talk when all of a sudden Fitz says, "So I got a call from Cyrus on Thursday."

I continue eating my food like it's nothing, "What did he have to say?"

"He actually called to talk about you."

I stop eating and turn so that I am facing Fitz, "He called to talk about me?"

Fitz nods his head, "He did, he wanted to tell me that he's almost positive he's going to have an opening on his staff in July."

My eyes are wide with shock, "July, wow that's in three months."

Fitz continues talking, "He's not one hundred percent positive but barring any issues, he's pretty sure he's going to have an opening in July and he wants you."

I take a deep breath, "Wow, that is awesome…but kind of terrifying."

Fitz smiles, "You've got three months to prepare, you can do it."

I reach over and grab his hand, "I'm not really scared to take the job, I mean, being a journalist is all I've ever wanted to do. What's going to be hard is leaving you."

Fitz pulls my hand into his lap, "Hey, you're not going to be leaving me. You'll leave the office but you're not leaving me."

I smile at him; "We can tell people about us, after I've started working there for a little while. We can finally tell people about us. I mean, if you want to that is…"

Fitz grins at me, "Of course I want to tell people about us, I want to tell everyone about us."

I squeeze his hand, "But now we _really_ can't tell anyone about us until I leave. I don't want Cyrus to think you recommended me because we were sleeping together."

Fitz frowns, "Well, that wouldn't be true anyway. I gave him your portfolio long before we slept together for the first time."

"Fitz, I didn't mean it that way."

He turns to look at his plate and he nods, "I know, but you know I didn't give him your portfolio in hopes that you would sleep with me, right?"

I nod my head, "I know that."

Fitz and I spend the rest of the afternoon downtown and then head back to the house. We eat a light dinner and are lounging outside reading when I notice Fitz keeps checking his watch.

I put my book down, "Are you waiting for another girlfriend or something?"

Fitz looks over at me in surprise and then starts to laugh, "I have a surprise for you and it should be here soon."

"Is that surprise another girlfriend? Because I am not having a threesome." I tease.

Fitz stands up and leans over to kiss my forehead, "You are a twisted woman, Olivia Pope. I will be right back."

I narrow my eyes at him as he walks away and into the house. A few minutes later he comes back outside.

"Follow me."

I give him a skeptical look, "You aren't going to kill me and then eat me for dinner are you?"

He starts to laugh and grabs my hand, pulling me up off the lounge. "Twisted. You are dark and twisted."

He leads me inside and into a room off the den that looks like it's normally a small sitting room but right now it has two massage tables set up and candles all over the place. There are also two women standing in the room.

"Massages?" I ask, looking over to him.

He smiles, "Yeah, is that okay?"

I wrap my arms around his neck and whisper in his ear, "Yes, thank you."

Later that night after our massages Fitz and I are lounging on the sofa in his den, mindlessly watching television.

I'm wearing only my robe and Fitz is wearing only pajama pants because we were so comfortable after our massages that we couldn't bare putting real clothes back on.

I turn my head so I can see Fitz and I lean it against the back of the sofa.

Fitz notices I'm looking at him and he turns his head to face me too and moves his hand so that he's softly massaging my scalp.

I just smile at him, staring into his beautiful eyes, and he just smiles back and we just stay like that for a little while.

"You know," I say, breaking the silence, "we've been sitting here half naked and all oiled up for like an hour and a half and you have yet to make a move on me."

Fitz laughs, "Well, maybe I was just waiting for you to make a move."

I lean forward to kiss his lips softly, "You mean like this?" I whisper.

His hand finds my cheek and he pulls me back toward him, "Or like this." He says as his tongue parts my lips and finds my tongue.

I giggle as his body gets closer and closer to mine and the kiss gets deeper and deeper.

"What about this?" I say as I undo the belt on my robe and let it fall open.

Fitz groans into my mouth and he pushes me backward onto the sofa and my robe falls apart and he starts to kiss his way down my jaw and my neck but pauses at my collarbone. He's placing hot and wet kisses all along my collarbone but just stays there, hovering over me and making me want him more and more by the minute.

My hands head for his pants and undo the drawstring so they fall down to his knees. I then reach up to find his hair and I can't stop myself from moaning as he continues to fixate his efforts on my collarbone.

"Fitz, you're driving me crazy." I manage to spit out, panting.

He lifts his head up and I moan at the lack of contact, making him grin like a madman.

"Just relax and let me work my magic." He says with a very confident look on his face.

I roll my eyes, "You're going to kill me."

He flashes me an evil grin but immediately puts his head back down and starts to work on my breasts. He has one nipple in his mouth and I'm arching my back because his tongue really must be magic.

He finishes up and starts to move down to my stomach. He slowly kisses his way down my body and pauses on my belly button giving it special attention.

I arch up into his mouth once again and he pushes my body back down softly with his hand.

"Fiiitz." I moan.

He moves his mouth down to my hipbones and caresses them gently with his lips and tongue.

This slow pace is actually going to drive me insane. "Fitz, please." I beg.

Now his mouth is on my pelvis, right above where I want him most.

"Oh my god Fitz, _please_."

"I love it when you beg, Livvy. It's sexy." He says, his breath hot against my center.

My pelvis involuntarily arches upward, "Fitz, Fitz please. I _need_ you."

"Well, I can't deny a beautiful woman when she _needs_ me." Fitz teases and finally his mouth finds me right where I need him.

I'm already so over-stimulated that it doesn't take long for Fitz and his superpower to send me over the edge.

I'm panting as I try to catch my breath and Fitz slides his way up my body and props his head on his arm so he's just looking at me and smiling.

I finally catch my breath and turn to look at him, that devious grin plastered on his face.

"I would love to make a comment about the size of your ego right now but I can't because you really just are that good."

Fitz just continues to grin at me and moves so he's sitting upright, he then grabs me and pulls me up with him so that I am now straddling his lap.

I let my body sink down into his lap and I immediately feel his hardness pulsating at my core. I look up at him and he's still grinning at me.

"You're in charge now." He says, running his hands along my sides.

I bite my bottom lip and try not to smile but I can't help myself. I slide my robe off my arms, toss it on the floor and start to place kisses along his jaw, I'd like to torture him the way he just tortured me but I can't bring myself to do it because I want him so badly.

My lips find his and he starts to kiss me back, our tongues are dueling and I feel like I don't need to ever come up for air.

I reach my hand down in between us and I start to stroke his member between our bodies.

He's moaning into my mouth, "Oh god, Livvy."

I smile; I love that I can elicit these sounds from him.

I pull away from him and I lift my body up off his thighs and I position myself above him.

I'm gripping his shoulders as I sink down onto him. He grasps my hips as he guides me down and I just sit there for a minute and then I start to move.

Fitz groans and leans his head back against the sofa for a minute before leaning forward again and finding my lips with his own.

He's kissing me and his hands are helping my body move up and down and everything is building up inside of me and I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to go.

I pull my lips away from his and I bury my head in his shoulder, biting it lightly as I hold tightly onto him.

He's breathing heavily now and I whisper in his ear, "Are you," I have to pause to catch my breath, "are you close?" I manage to spit out.

He nods his head and his hands start to grip me even tighter and suddenly I find my release and I scream out. Fitz finds his release almost immediately after and he pulls my shaking body to him and I collapse against him and just attempt to catch my breath with my head buried in the crook of his neck.

His arms find their way around my body and he's stroking my back gently as my body slowly stills.

I manage to find the strength to pull myself off of him and lay myself down on the sofa.

Fitz follows and pulls me close to him, cozying up next to me.

I look up at him and bring my hand up so that it's resting just over his heart so that I can feel it beating.

"I don't want to go back home." I whisper.

He reaches up and grasps my hand but looks at me with concerned eyes.

"What are you afraid of Livvy?" He asks, god the man can read me so well.

I sigh, "That we've been able to spend this weekend acting like a normal couple. We got to walk around hand in hand instead of having to walk a few feet apart. It didn't matter if anyone saw us kissing because they don't know us and therefore don't know you're my boss. I just…I'm afraid that it's going to be so much harder to go back to hiding everything because now we know how wonderful it is to be able to be open about everything."

He smiles and sighs, "It is going to be harder."

My eyes go wide, "Fitz, you're supposed to quell my fears about this, not confirm them."

He laughs, "It's going to be harder but that's okay. We're going to be fine. We now have a time frame. It's going to be harder for a little while but now we know that about three months we can be a normal couple."

I sigh, "If there's even a job."

Fitz lets go of my hand and grabs my chin, "Hey, there's going to be a job. Cyrus wouldn't have told me unless he was almost positive. You have nothing to worry about."

"Three months is still a long time to hide."

"It is, but we can make it work. I love you Olivia Pope, that's not going to change."

I smile and kiss him lightly. "I love you."

"We should get to bed." He says, but makes no move to get up.

I groan, "I cannot believe I let you convince me that it was a good idea to drive back Monday morning. We are going to have to get up so damn early."

Fitz laughs, "It's only 10 PM, we can go to bed now and you can sleep in the car on the way to work."

I pretend to pout, "Fine. Take me to bed, Mr. Grant."

He sits up and steps off the sofa and scoops me up into his arms, making me laugh hysterically as he carries me off to bed.

* * *

As always, THANK YOU so much for reading. I apologize I haven't been able to update as regularly as I would like to the past few days but it's been hectic at work. It is dying down though so hopefully I can get back on track for the next week until my finals start. Anyway, THANKS again for reading and PLEASE leave me some reviews!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	23. Chapter 23

"In any case you mustn't confuse a single failure with a final defeat."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night

* * *

Fitz was right, getting up early and leaving Carmel wasn't as bad as I anticipated. In fact, it was actually kind of nice. The morning drive wasn't so bad with Fitz and I was ready and awake for work when we got there. We both had a lot of work to do today and Fitz ended up holed up in his office with a new client for most of the afternoon, which I was actually grateful for because that meant no slip-ups where we forget where we are and how we are supposed to act. By the end of the day I am more than ready to get back to my apartment and of course to Abby who I feel like I haven't seen in ages. It's hard to leave Fitz but I know that I need to spend the night at my apartment to get some things done.

I arrive home around 5:30 and I'm thankful Abby won't be home for a while because I am dreading what I have to do now.

I change into a pair of leggings and a comfortable lounge-y sweater and start a load of laundry. Then I head back to my room and sit down on my bed. I pull out my cell phone and scroll to the number I need to dial. I take a deep breath and hit send, holding the phone up to my ear.

It rings twice before the person on the other end picks up. "Liv?"

"Hey Jake." I say, not happy about the conversation I'm about to start.

"Liv, I'm so happy you called. How are you?" He asks, his voice sounds hopeful and happy and I hate that I'm going to ruin that.

"I'm doing well, thanks. How are you?" I ask, trying to be polite.

"I'm doing well too, except that I miss you." He says.

I sigh, it's probably best I just get right to the point, "Jake…I met someone."

There's silence at the other end and I don't know what to do so I just ride it out until Jake starts to speak.

"Liv, what are you talking about?" He says, his voice cracks like he's trying not to get upset.

"Jake, I'm seeing someone else. I'm with someone else. This thing between us…it's over."

"Liv, you aren't serious?"

I take a deep breath, "I am serious. Jake, you have to stop waiting for me. I'm moving on and I want you to move on too."

"Liv you don't mean that. You need time, you need to see other people, that's fine but don't throw this away. You and I have been through so much together in six years, six years Liv, you're my best friend." He's crying now and I'm about to start crying as well because I hate doing this even though I know it's what needs to happen.

"Jake I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you." I can feel the tears coming down my face and I can't do anything to stop them.

"Liv this guy, whoever he is, is a rebound. It's not going to last and you know it." He's angry now and I don't blame him.

"Jake, he's not a rebound. I'm so sorry." I'm crying now too because I feel so terrible about what I'm doing to him.

"I have to go. I can't do this right now." He says and he hangs up the phone.

I lean back and curl up against my pillow and I just let myself cry. I must have cried myself to sleep because when I wake up it's already 8 PM and I remember my laundry. I head out to switch out my load and I find myself wishing Abby would get home already because I need someone to talk to.

I pull out my phone and I dial Fitz's number, I know that I'm the one who said a night apart would be good for us but right now I just need to hear his voice.

"Hi." He says as he picks up the phone.

"Hi." I say quietly, leaning back against the hallway wall and letting myself slide down it until I am sitting on the floor with my arms curled around my knees.

"What's the matter?" He asks and I'm baffled again that he instinctively knows what I'm thinking from just one simple word.

I laugh and try to brush him off, "Nothing, I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you goodnight."

"Olivia it's eight o'clock, we both know you're not going to bed yet. What is going on?"

I shake my head, "Fitz, really I'm fine I just wanted to say goodnight."

He laughs, "I don't believe you but I'm going to let it slide since you're being stubborn and I am therefore just going to say goodnight. So, goodnight Olivia, I love you."

I sigh, "Thank you." I say quietly.

"Hang up the phone Olivia."

I laugh, "Goodnight Fitz." And I hang up the phone.

Abby arrives home not much later, just a little before 8:30.

"Oh my god, my ghost roommate has taken physical form!" She says after she sees me and drops her things on the floor, running over to hug me.

I roll my eyes but hug her back anyway, "Hey Abby, I've missed you too."

She kicks off her shoes and drags me over to the sofa, "Tell me all about Carmel, how was it?"

"It was absolutely amazing, I mean truly one of the best weekends of my life."

Abby frowns at me, "Your voice sounds happy, I believe you, but your face says something else. What's going on Liv?"

I frown at her, "You don't want to hear about Fitz's amazing house on the beach? Or the Chateau Adelina? Or the couples massage he got for us?"

"_Obviously_ I want to heart about all those things in great detail. Great, _dirty_ detail, and we will talk about them, but right now you need to spill what's going on with you that's making you all mopey."

I sigh and prop my head up on my hand. "I talked to Jake today."

Abby frowns, "What happened?"

"I told him I met someone else and we had to move on and he didn't take it very well."

Abby grabs my hand, "It's not your fault Liv, you did the right thing. You're trying to save his feelings but he's not responding and that's not your fault. Don't let him get you upset."

All of a sudden we hear a knock at the door.

"Did you order food or something?" Abby asks me.

I shake my head. "No, I didn't order anything."

Abby gets up and walks over to the door and opens it. "Liv, it's for you." She yells back to me.

I get up feeling totally confused and walk into the kitchen to see Fitz standing in the doorway.

"Fitz, what are you doing here?"

"I brought takeout." He says, holding up two bags in his hands, "For all three of us." He says, looking at Abby.

Abby grabs one of the bags and looks inside, "Chinese food. Liv, I kind of love your boyfriend right now."

I laugh, "Me too."

Abby sets one of the bags on the table and she looks at me with wide eyes, "Oh my god the L word." She mouths to me.

She grabs one of the containers from the bag and starts to walk toward me; "You and I are talking about this later, right now it seems like you need to talk to your boyfriend." She says before turning around and addressing Fitz, "Thanks for the food Fitz, you're on my good list." And with that she walks back into her room.

Fitz starts to laugh after she leaves and sets the second bag down on the table before walking over to me and taking my hands in his own.

"Why are you here, Fitz?" I ask, "I told you I was fine."

He looks right into my eyes, "You're not fine. You don't have to tell me what's wrong and we don't have to talk about it but don't lie to me and tell me you're fine when I know you're not."

I can feel the tears threatening at my face and I wrap my arms around his neck and I let the tears flow freely.

"Shh, Livvy it's okay. You're okay, I'm here." He says, stroking my hair.

I let myself calm down and I let go of him.

"Can we eat some food?" I ask shyly.

He laughs and grabs my hand, dragging me over to the kitchen table to pick up the bags of food.

"Are you going to stay?" I ask.

He bends forward and kisses my forehead, "Of course."

"Then how about we go eat in my bed?"

"Sounds good to me." He replies.

We head over to my room and we make ourselves comfortable in bed, turn on the television, and we start to eat.

"I think eating in bed is one of those underrated guilty pleasures. It's such a simple thing but I always just enjoy it." Fitz says as he finishes his food and sets the empty box on my bedside table.

I roll my eyes, "You are trying to get me to talk about why I went all clingy girlfriend on you aren't you?"

He laughs and takes my empty box from me, putting it next to his own. "Maybe."

I shift in the bed so that I'm facing him and I curl up on my side. "I talked to my ex-boyfriend tonight. I had to tell him that he has to let me go, that we aren't getting back together." I take a deep breath, "We were together for almost six years, I just don't like that I had to hurt him. I know it had to be done but that doesn't make me feel any better."

Fitz nods his head, "Six years is a long time, it's okay to be upset."

I reach out and grab onto his hand, "You're kind of perfect, you know that right?"

He smiles and pulls me toward him so I'm now curled against his chest. "I'm not perfect, Livvy. But I do love you and when you love someone it's your job to be there for them no matter what, it's your job to know that when they tell you they're fine that they actually aren't."

"I'm sorry I haven't been as forthcoming about my relationship with my ex as you have been with yours. It's just been so confusing for so long that it's hard to talk about because I don't even know where to start anymore." I say, tracing my fingers on the letters of his t-shirt.

"That's okay, it's okay to be confused. Life is confusing Olivia." He says, running his hand through my hair.

"There is one thing I know I'm not confused about." I say, turning my head up so I can look into his eyes.

"What's that?" He asks.

"I know that I love you."

He's grinning at me now, "I love you too."

"No, Fitz I_ really_ love you. The way I feel about you...I'm…I'm so scared of losing you that it physically pains me to even think about it. I'm just not used to being so happy and it's hard for me to convince myself that it's going to last." I say, trying not to start crying again.

Fitz pulls me closer, wrapping both his arms around me and kissing my temple. "You don't have to worry about that. You aren't going to lose me; you're stuck with me. I love you sweetheart. I love you."

He holds me close and I can feel the anxiety leave my body and I relax into his strong arms and slowly I drift off to sleep.

I wake up much earlier than I need to the next morning and I notice that I'm alone in bed. I get up and I hear the shower running and I know its Fitz because Abby would not be up this early.

I walk into the bathroom and I see him standing in the shower, completely still, just letting the water run over him.

I strip out of my clothes and I open the shower door to step in with him.

I wrap my arms around his torso and I rest my head on his shoulder.

He grabs my hands and slowly turns himself around.

"Hi." I say, accompanied by a huge yawn.

Fitz laughs, "Hi."

"Did you not sleep well?" I ask.

"No, I slept great. I always sleep great with you. I just woke up and thought I'd jump in the shower before it got overrun with women."

I laugh, "That was very considerate of you."

He looks a little odd, a little off. "Fitz, are you angry with me?"

He closes his eyes and takes my face in his hands and then presses his forehead against mine. "I'm not angry with you, I'm just a little upset you have still been talking to your ex-boyfriend this whole time."

I nod my head, "Okay, I get that, you have a right to be mad about that. I'm very sorry."

"I do need to know one thing, did you see him when you went home a few weeks ago?"

I start to panic a little bit but I know I need to tell him the truth, "I did. My parents invited him to dinner and he came over. He um, he kissed me on the cheek but that was it. The last time we actually kissed was New Years Eve and we haven't slept together since before I started working here."

I am internally freaking out a little bit and I know it's starting to show on my face.

"Hey, calm down." Fitz says to me, "You haven't done anything wrong, but I'm going to be very clear here. I know I act like a calm and collected guy but the thought of anyone else touching you drives me insane."

He pushes me up against the shower wall and presses his body up against mine. He kisses me lightly, "I am the only person who gets to kiss you."

His hands run up and down my sides, "I am the only person who gets to touch you."

He turns me around so that I am facing the shower wall and he runs his hands along my bum and I can feel him hard against me. "And I am the _only_ person you make love to."

I can feel him nudging at my entrance and I press my hands against the wall and I stick my bum out and Fitz grabs my hips. He pulls me back and enters me swiftly from behind and I gasp at the contact. One of his hands is now splayed on my pelvis and the other is now gripping my thigh as he thrusts from behind me.

His mouth is on my neck and then one hand finds it's way up to my neck to turn my head over to his mouth.

This sex is not gentle, it's not slow, its hard and fast and dirty and fantastic. We're both grunting and groaning and I don't even care that it doesn't sound even remotely sexy because it's just so damn good.

I come fast and hard and Fitz quickly follows and we are both totally spent, our breathing is heavy and Fitz is holding onto me tightly as we both compose ourselves.

He kisses my neck lightly and I turn around so that I am now facing him. I wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss his jaw lightly.

"I might sounds like a complete ass when I say this but you are mine and I do not want anyone else touching you ever."

I nod my head, "Okay."

He smiles at me, "Okay. Now turn around because I'm going to wash your hair."

I laugh and grab my shampoo and hand it to him and then turn around.

Shortly after we finish, Fitz and I are getting out of the shower and I grab two towels and hand one to him.

I dry myself off and wrap myself in a towel and watch as he dries himself off and then wraps the towel around his waist. It's slung low on his hips and his body is still glistening from the water. His hair is wet and curly and it looks absolutely fantastic and I'm getting all hot and bothered all over again.

I'm leaning against the sink and biting my finger as I stare at him and I must have let myself fall into a daze because all of a sudden Fitz is running a hand through my hair and giving me a concerned look.

"Livvy, are you okay?"

I stand up straight and shake my head, "Yeah, sorry I was just thinking."

His mouth forms a devious grin, "You want me again don't you?"

I turn away and try not to smile as I shake my head.

He walks up to me and puts his hands on the sink counter on either side of me.

"You want me again." He says, looking into my eyes.

He leans in to kiss me but before his lips meet mine we hear a voice from outside the bathroom door.

"If you two are going to have sex again can you please do it in Liv's room so I can use the bathroom?"

My eyes are wide with horror, "Oh my god Abby. "

Fitz leans against me and starts to laugh.

I push him away from me and I open the door to find Abby standing outside it with her arms crossed.

"Hey Abby." I say, "I'm so sorry about that. I'm so sorry if we woke you up. The bathroom is all yours."

I turn around to grabs Fitz's hand and pull him out of the bathroom and toward my room.

Abby's eyes get wide when she spots Fitz in his towel.

"Never mind. I totally understand, congratulations Liv and Fitz, nicely done."

And with that Abby walks into the bathroom leaving Fitz and I alone in the hallway.

I shake my head and drag him into my room, shutting the door behind us.

Luckily Fitz is laughing.

"I'm so sorry Fitz, it must be weird for you to have to deal with a roommate." I say as I start to get ready for work.

"You know, we wouldn't have interruptions like that if we spent more time at my house." He says as he begins to get ready as well.

"Fitz we spend most of our time at your house and while I love being at your house, I like being at mine too. It's hard not to have my things with me all the time and to have to constantly be packing bags to bring to your house."

"Well, why don't you just move some of your things over to my house?"

I pause and stand up straight, "Um, you want me to move my things over to your house?"

Fitz turns around and looks at me, "Just so that you have some things at my house and then you don't have to pack a bag all the time. Don't freak out, I'm not asking you to move in with me, I'm just asking you to make your life a little easier, okay?"

I nod, "Okay, I will consider that. I will….I will think about it."

He smiles and runs a hand along my cheek, "Okay then, I have to go home before I head to work but I will see you around 8:30."

He leans in to kiss me and we say goodbye.

It's a little before 8:30 and I'm already at my desk when I hear Fitz walk into his office. A few minutes later my door opens and he comes in.

"Good morning Ms. Pope." He says, walking over to my desk and taking a seat on the edge of it.

"Good morning Mr. Grant." I reply, grinning at him.

My hand is resting on my desk and Fitz reaches out and grabs it and we just sit there for a minute.

"So what's on the schedule for today?" He asks.

"Fitz you can't do this, you can't hold my hand and touch me and expect me to work like a normal person. We promised we would be good at work and you holding my hand and sitting on my desk isn't being good. It's going to make it hard for me to concentrate and hard for me to do my job and it's going to make us slip up at some point and I can't have that because I can't lose you."

All of a sudden my door bursts open and Lauren walks in, "Hey Liv I want you to look at this." She says, she's got papers in her hands and I immediately pull my hand away from Fitz's but I know Lauren sees us because her expression changes and her eyes are wide.

"Fitz can I talk to Lauren alone?" I ask quietly.

He nods and gets up off my desk. He and Lauren exchange their hellos and he goes back into his office.

Lauren sets her things down on my desk and sits down in the chair across from me.

"All right Olivia, spill it. You have been dodging my questions about what's going on between you and Fitz for weeks even though you told me you would fill me in. I barely ever see you outside of work and Abby is shockingly keeping mum about the whole thing. Spill. Now."

I sigh, "Okay, okay." I take a deep breath, "Fitz and I are…together. We sleep together almost every night. We go away together. He wants me to bring some of my things over to his house. We are _very_ together."

Lauren stares at me for a minute and then she starts to smile. "And you're trying to keep it professional here because now I'm the only one who knows, right?"

I nod my head.

"Not even Harrison?" She asks.

"No. No, especially not Harrison, he would freak. You can't say anything about this to anyone." I beg.

"Relax Liv, I will keep my lips sealed. But you have to promise me that we get drinks on Friday and you have to divulge all the details to me, okay?"

I laugh, "It's a deal."

The week goes by and Fitz and I don't have any more incidents at work. I have started moving a few things over to his house; I brought some clothes, shoes, toiletries, and a few other things.

On Friday night Fitz and I are sitting on his bed, watching a movie and just snuggling. I'm feeling a little adventurous today and at my happy hour drinks session with Lauren and Abby we talked a lot about sex and it's made me really want to try something new.

"Can we try something?" I ask him, looking up at him from my comfy spot, my head resting on his chest.

"What do you want to try?" He asks, looking down at me, his hands crossed behind his head, making him look incredibly sexy.

"Abby was telling me about this position and it sounded good, so…I was hoping we could try it." I say shyly.

Fitz grins and pulls me toward him, capturing my mouth in his own. His hands start to move up my shirt, unhooking my bra and pulling my shirt slowly over my head. I do the same to the cable knit sweater he is wearing and pull it over his head swiftly. Our lips find each other once again and his hands find their way down to the waistband of my jeans and my hands do the same to his. He is quicker with my jeans and therefore flips me backward so I am on my back and he pulls my pants off of my legs and quickly deposits his own pants and underwear in one quick motion. He starts at my ankle and starts kissing his way up my leg. When he gets to my thigh they start to get hot and wet and I am fidgeting like crazy because of the stimulation. He reaches the apex of my thighs and starts to kiss my center through my underwear. My hips are bucking against him and he finally rips my underwear off my body and his mouth works its magic. I'm dizzy with pleasure by the time I finally find my release and I can feel the vibrations shake through my body.

I'm breathing heavily and Fitz is kneeling above me with a devilish grin on his face. I can practically see the masculine pride dripping from him as he looks at me, knowing only he can make me come undone like this.

"You ready?" He asks me.

I nod my head, trying to find the ability to speak.

"Tell me what you want." He says, running his hands down my thighs.

I finally catch my breath, "Stand at the foot of the bed." I instruct him and he does what he's told. I sit up and scoot my bum down to the edge of the bed.

Fitz grins at me, "I know what you want." He then grabs my legs and hooks my ankles over his shoulders, rolling my hips upward with his hands and telling me, "Grab a pillow." I grab one of the bed pillows and hand it to Fitz who slides it underneath my bum.

He backs up and prepares to enter me, his tip is right at my entrance and I can feel the blood pounding in my center, so eager for him. He pauses for a moment, "Livvy, you have to tell me if this hurts, the angle can be too deep for some people. I do not want to hurt you."

I nod my head, "I promise I will". Abby mentioned that this position was great for her but she also mentioned a friend who said it had been painful.

His hands are gripping my knees to keep my legs in place on his shoulders, he slowly pushes into me and I arch backward, gripping the pillow as I scream out because of how deep he is now buried inside me.

Fitz stops right away, "Livvy, do you need me to stop?"

"No, no" I say panting, "don't stop, I just had to let my body adjust."

He nods his head and starts out with a slow pace, slowly pumping in and out of me. Normally I don't like it this slow but he's so deep that it feels fantastic. He picks up the pace a little and it feels even better, I am moaning and groaning but I don't even care because it feels so damn good.

"Harder." I whisper. "Please."

Fitz grunts in response and acquiesces to my request. I scream out because it feels so good, like he is practically going through me. A few minutes later we both find our release, I can feel Fitz explode into me and I'm sure there is going to be a mess on his comforter from both of us.

He pulls out of me and collapses on the bed, pulling me close to him and pulling us both up to the top of the bed. We exchange lazy kisses and tangle our legs together underneath the covers. I'm sure I'll be sore tomorrow but it was well worth it.

I wake up a few hours later with the most unbearable cramps I've ever felt. This can't be right, this has never happened to me before. I try to get to the bathroom as quickly as I can; I really need to pee so hopefully that makes me feel a little better. I use the bathroom and I walk out normally, trying to stretch my stomach muscles from what is hopefully just a weird cramp, but it makes it so much worse. I collapse on the ground and let out a painful howl. All of a sudden Fitz is rushing in the bathroom and kneeling next to me.

He looks really scared, "Livvy, what's going on? Are you all right?"

I nod my head, "its just cramps."

Fitz still looks concerned, "Livvy, you are never like this when you have cramps."

I groan, he's right, I have never felt this terrible. "Maybe we should go to the doctor?"

"NO." I say sternly, "just google it or something."

He looks at me as if he wants to protest but sees the determined look on my face and decides not to argue with me.

He helps me up off the floor and he leads me back into the bed and helps me sit down. He grabs his ipad from the nightstand, sits down next to me and opens safari so he can google it, "What the hell do I google?" He asks, truly stumped.

"I don't know, uh, pain after sex. No, type cramping pain after sex."

He nods and starts typing. He's furiously reading things over the internet and he starts looking more nervous the more he reads.

"Livvy, I really think we should take you to the doctor."

I roll my eyes, "Give me that." I grab the ipad out of his hand.

He lets out an exasperated sigh and places his hand on my hip, rubbing back and forth as I scour the internet.

I read about some freaky things and then come across the most logical explanation, "Fitz, you probably hit my cervix. Apparently it doesn't always hurt when it happens but can cause terrible cramps afterward."

Fitz sighs a little bit in relief, "I'm going to get you a heating pad." He says sternly and then gets up and heads back into the bathroom.

I'm still in pain but I'm relaxed a little bit knowing this is probably something not so serious. I knew the position might hurt but I expected it to hurt while we were doing it, not afterward.

Fitz comes back with the heating pad and plugs it in and puts it on my stomach. He looks a little angry. He slides into bed and places his hand on the heating pad on top of my pelvis. "There's a timer on it so I set it to turn off after 45 minutes."

I shift so I'm facing him. "Are you angry with me?"

"What? No I'm just, I'm…I'm angry at me. I knew that position might hurt you and I did it anyway because I knew it would feel good. We are not doing that again."

"Yes, fine we won't do it again. Relax." I say, running my hand down his arm.

"Olivia, I will not relax, this is not all right. I hurt you and I don't like that. It's not okay for me to hurt you, not now and not ever."

I take a breath, "Fitz, you didn't intentionally hurt me. In fact, I was the one who suggested that position. This is not your fault."

He tears his arm away from me and sits up, "No, Olivia. It doesn't matter if it was intentional or not. I hurt you and that's never acceptable. I don't want to hurt you. Ever."

"Okay." I say softly. "Okay, Fitz." I grab his arm again and pull him back. He lies stiffly on the bed so I turn towards him more and hook one of my legs over his so that my body is completely pressed up against him.

He finally relaxes and turns to kiss my head and puts his arm around me so that he's holding me tightly.

I wake up the next day and find Fitz still holding me to him. I move around a little bit and notice I don't have any more cramps.

Even in his sleep he still seems tense so I decide to slip out of bed and make breakfast before he gets up but when I see my ukulele in the corner of the room I think I have a better idea.

I'm in the kitchen and I'm almost done making us breakfast when Fitz walks into the room.

He still looks grumpy and he pauses at the counter and his eyes scan my body with concern. "How are you feeling today?"

I smile at him and put the omelet I've just finished making him on his plate, which already is piled high with fruit and breakfast potatoes. "I'm feeling one hundred percent better. It was just cramps."

I take the plate over to him and I put it in his hand. "Fitz, honestly, I am totally fine. Sit down and eat your breakfast and relax."

I lean in to kiss him on the cheek and he relaxes a little bit but still looks stiff.

I grab my own plate and follow him around the counter and we both sit down.

After a moment he notices the ukulele I brought over sitting a couple feet away from us on the counter. "Why is your ukulele down here?" He asks, motioning to it.

I finish chewing the bite of food in my mouth and then I get up and go grab it. "Well, when I got up I figured that you were going to wake up grumpy and so I decided that I was going to make you breakfast and play you a song."

Fitz gives me a small smile, "Livvy, I'm not grumpy."

I roll my eyes and sit back down on the chair. "Oh shut up and just listen to the song."

I start to play and Fitz's face immediately lights up in his usual, gorgeous smile.

I start to sing, "You always hurt the ones you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all. You always take the sweetest rose, and crush it until the petals fall."

Fitz is laughing at me and I keep playing, "You always break the kindest hearts, with a hasty word you can't recall. And if I broke your heart last night, it's because I love you most of all."

Fitz gets up and grabs the ukulele out of my hands and sets it on the counter so that he can wrap his arms around me.

He's still laughing as he kisses me lightly and then pulls back so he's looking directly at me.

"You are so warped. And clearly I am warped because that actually made me feel better, but I still say that movie was depressing."

He's referring to Blue Valentine, we watched it the other night and that is how I came up with the idea to play the song for him.

"Are you okay?" I ask him, softly caressing his cheek.

He nods his head, "I'm okay."

He moves his hands and cups my face gently. "You are twisted." He says as he bends down and kisses me lightly. "But I still love you."

* * *

Hey guys, thanks so much for reading, I just wanted to apologize about not posting the past few days. I've been so busy at work and on top of that I've been having boy problems that rival Meredith's circa season 2 of Grey's Anatomy. Anyway, THANKS so much for reading and please leave me some reviews!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	24. Chapter 24

"I don't care about truth. I want some happiness."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned

* * *

It's a lovely Thursday morning at the office, I'm standing on the patio during my morning break drinking coffee with Lauren when I spot Fitz walk out to the lobby doors and greet a brunette woman. She's fairly tall and looks very put together, almost a little too perfect. She's wearing a light blue tweed jacket, a navy pencil skirt, and has nude heels on that match the detailing in the tweed. Her hair is perfectly quaffed atop her head and she wears a strand of pearls around her neck.

Lauren realizes that I am not paying attention to her and she turns her head to see what I'm staring at.

"Is that who I think it is?" I ask her, still staring at the woman and Fitz as they stand there in the lobby talking. Fitz looks tense, his arms are crossed and he's standing perfectly straight.

Lauren squints to look at her, "Oh yeah, that's his ex."

I whip my head around to look at her, "You've met her before?"

She shrugs, "We did an event for her a few years back when I started here, I never actually met her but I saw her once or twice."

I turn my attention back to them and see her reach a hand out and attempt to touch Fitz's forearm but he backs away. It doesn't seem to faze her though because the smile never leaves her face.

Lauren nudges me, "Well, go in there. Lay your claim."

I roll my eyes, "You know I can't do that."

"Well, you can't do it in an obvious way, but go in and meet her. Don't sit here and stew about it."

I sigh, "Yeah, maybe that's a good idea. I am interested in meeting her."

"Okay, go! Then tell me about it at lunch." She says, raising her eyebrows like she's hoping for something scandalous.

"You have a problem." I say with a laugh, "but I will meet you for lunch later."

I walk toward my office; I don't want to walk right over to them because I'm not sure how he's going to react. I walk in the direction of our offices and I go in to mine to grab a file that I can pretend to do something with.

I walk out of my office and over to Martha's desk, I ask her to make a few copies of some designs for me and I notice that Fitz and Mellie are walking towards me.

Martha gives me the copies and I turn around just as they are in front of me.

Mellie looks away from Fitz and spots me, "I don't think we've ever met before, I'd surely have remembered someone so lovely. Fitzgerald, are you going to introduce me to this lovely young lady?" She's complimenting me but I feel like she's also commenting on how young I am.

Fitz looks nervous, "Mellie this is my assistant, Olivia Pope. Olivia this is Mellie Ford, my ex-wife." He sounds tense when he says 'ex-wife', like it's painful for him to say.

She reaches out to shake my hand and I do the same. Her handshake is kind of intimidating, very stiff and strong, kind of in contrast to her silky smooth skin and her beaming smile. That's probably a facade; I bet this woman is seriously intimidating when she wants to be.

"Olivia, it is such a pleasure to meet you." She clasps her other hand over mine so that my hand is now stuck between hers and I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable. She looks me up and down like she's assessing me, "Gosh, you are just gorgeous. What on earth are you doing working for Fitz? You should be in front of a camera somewhere."

I can feel my face getting hot, "Um, thank you."

She turns around to look at Fitz, finally letting go of my hand. "Truly Fitz, where have you been hiding her? I'd love to use her for one of our Real Women articles."

I'm confused now, "Sorry, Real Women articles?" I say.

She turns back to me, "Oh dear, I'm the editor-in-chief at Poise Magazine."

My eyes grow wide and Mellie laughs, "Wow, that's amazing. I've been reading Poise since I was in high school."

"Well, then you know all about our Real Women articles!" She exclaims.

Fitz cuts in, "I don't think that's something Olivia would be interested in doing."

Mellie turns back to him, "Fitz, let the girl decide that herself. You don't know that." She turns back to me, "Olivia, don't you agree, it's every young girls dream to be featured in the Real Women article in Poise when she grows up?"

I hate that she's right, but I can't deny it and even if she weren't right the freaky smile and her cold eyes are scaring me a little bit so I'd probably agree with her anyway.

"Um, yeah, I do agree with you."

Mellie has a triumphant grin on her face and Fitz just looks annoyed. I really hate everything about this situation right now.

"Okay Mellie, I'm on a schedule. Let's talk about this event and be done." He says as he walks into his office.

Mellie pats my arm before she walks in after him, "It was a pleasure to meet you Olivia, I'm sure I'll see you again before I leave."

I nod my head, "Yes, same to you Ms. Ford. It was a pleasure."

I notice then that she's wearing a huge ring and has a wedding band on her left hand and I sigh, I forgot that she was remarried.

They walk into the office and close the door so I head into mine.

I stand up next to the door between my office and Fitz's for a moment and then decide that I can't do that, that is the kind of thing that crazy girlfriends do and I am not crazy. I really need to get out of here. I spot some mock-ups I have edited and need to give to Lauren so I hastily run out of my office and down to hers.

I burst in and shut the door so I can lean backward against it.

Lauren turns around, "Whoa, you look crazy. What happened?"

I look over and see that there is one other person in the office, its just Dan but I still cannot talk about this in front of him.

Lauren turns to him, "Hey Dan, can you give us a minute?"

He turns around, "Oh, hey Liv. Yeah, that's no problem I needed a coffee break anyway."

I move away from the door, "Thanks Dan." He nods and walks out.

"So, what happened?" Lauren asks.

I sit down next to her and sigh, sliding back in the chair. "She's gorgeous and surprisingly nice and she's the editor-in-chief of Poise Magazine and she offered to put me in their Real Women article."

"Wait, you didn't know she was the editor-in-chief at Poise? Do you and Fitz actually talk or are you just constantly having sex?" She teases.

I roll my eyes, "We do talk, he's told me things about her but they're all regarding their marriage, he doesn't actually talk about _her_. And wait a minute, how did you know she's the editor-in-chief at Poise?"

"Because we've hosted events for her before dummy."

"Oh right, sorry my brain feels fried at the moment."

Lauren laughs, "Oh come on, you have nothing to worry about. They've been divorced forever and she's remarried."

I shake my head, "You need to distract me. Tell me what you have planned for your anniversary with Savannah."

Lauren laughs again, "All right, I will placate your ridiculous concerns with the details of the very romantic night I have planned for Savannah."

Lauren and I talk until lunch and I'm nervous because Fitz doesn't come out to eat. I'm not sure if Mellie left or not and I don't want to go back to the office to check and seem like a creep.

All of a sudden Fitz appears out of nowhere and he looks pissed. "Olivia, I need you. _Now_." He says as he abruptly opens the door to the patio area and just as quickly heads back into the office.

Lauren looks over at me apologetically, "He looks pissed."

I look at her and I know it's obvious that I'm internally freaking out.

Lauren touches my hand, "Hey calm down, she's gone, he's pissed but I'm sure he just needs to talk to you and he'll be okay. He's not pissed at you." She whispers.

I give her a grateful smile and get up out of my chair.

"Good luck to you." Lauren calls out.

I shoot her an uneasy smile and make my way down to Fitz's office.

I look to Martha who shoots me a look of pity and says, "That woman always manages to set him off, good lucky sweetie."

Great, now I'm even more nervous. I walk into Fitz's office and decide to lock the door behind me just to be safe. "Fitz, are you all right?"

He doesn't respond, instead he grabs my arm, drags me into his private bathroom, and hoists me up onto the counter next to the sink.

He begins to kiss my neck and his hands are pushing my skirt up my thighs.

I come to my senses and push him off me, holding him at arms length. "Fitz, what are you doing? We cannot do this at work. What is going on with you?"

He looks at me, with this sad, defeated look on his face.

"Livvy, please. I _need _you."

I run my hands down his face, there is something majorly off about him.

"Okay, Fitz. Okay." I say softly, slowly taking his hands in my own and placing them on my thighs.

He doesn't miss a beat and his hands find their way up my skirt and pull off my panties. He lifts me up slightly so that he can push my skirt up and around my waist. He's kissing me like he's trying to breathe me in instead of the air.

I start to undo his belt and his pants. I can already feel him at attention when I part his briefs and pull his member outside of his pants.

He scoots me closer to the edge and lines himself up and buries himself inside me in one quick motion. He's holding me close to him and vigorously thrusting into me. I know I can't make any noise so I use my mouth to continue kissing him deeply but the pressure is getting to be too much. Fitz knows me well and lightly pushes my head down to his shoulder so that I can bite down.

I come undone and it only takes Fitz two more thrusts before he gets his release as well. He's clinging to me and his lips find mine again, lazily kissing me.

I take his face in my hands and he leans his forehead against mine. He looks his age right now, he's tired and stressed and completely worn out.

"Fitz, what is going on?"

He sighs, "She still knows how to push my buttons and it just drives me crazy. And I know that I shouldn't let her but that's much easier said than done."

I nod my head I definitely understand that.

"I'm sorry about this I just needed you because you remind me of everything good in my life I just needed a moment to just have you and to know that you are mine and I am yours. I needed to know that you're real and you're here and you're mine."

"It's okay Fitz, it's okay. I'm yours."

He clings to me for a few more minutes and then pulls back, reaching down to pull up his pants as I slide of the counter and find my panties on the floor.

He's adjusting his tie in the mirror and I come up behind him and put my arms around his strong torso.

He grabs my arms with his hands and holds me close to him.

"So what happened that made you so mad?" I ask into his shoulder.

He turns around and envelops me in his arms. "She just wants me to focus all my energy on this LA event and it's forcing me to neglect my charity event and I hate that because I'd rather be working on that but if I don't focus on these damn big events then we can't do the ones for charities and I hate that. It makes me feel like a sellout."

I look up at him, "Fitz, you are anything but a sellout. So big deal, you're running PR for a magazine, that's not selling out. The fact that you care so much about your charities is incredible and it's noble and I promise you that I will make sure everything gets done properly for your charity event. I will not let you down. I promise I will be really annoying."

Fitz smiles at me, "You never let me down Livvy."

I smile back at him, "Okay, I need to get back to work, are you going to be okay?"

He takes a deep breath and nods, "Yes, I'm going to be fine, thanks to you."

"Okay, I need to go finish my work."

He nods his head and pulls me back to him, kissing me one more time and then I walk back into my office.

To my dismay Mellie has been around for the past three days and keeps dropping by. It's now Friday and she has arranged a big dinner between the big wigs at her magazine and the people at GGC who are supposed to be running the event.

I normally enjoy dinners with Fitz's clients but tonight I can't wait for this one to be over. It's a very large dinner, normally it's just Fitz, Harrison, and me but tonight two of our other co-workers Jen and Rob are here, and usually where it's two to three people from the client's office, tonight there are five women and three men from Poise, plus several spouses from both sides. I'm sitting to Mellie's left and Fitz is to her right. Mellie is being very nice to me but she's talking to me in a way where I can tell she's trying to size me up. Plus she keeps making strange comments to Fitz about me.

She's explaining something about her job to me and I'm trying to pay attention but it's hard when I just want to focus on Fitz. "Olivia really, you have to let me use you in the magazine. You could model with those gorgeous cheekbones; honestly you're absolutely stunning. Isn't she stunning, Fitz?"

Fitz takes a big gulp and he nods his head, "Yes, she is." It's almost like Mellie expects something is going on with us but I don't have any idea how she would even know. But then again, although she is a magazine editor she is technically a journalist so she's probably just fishing.

Another editor, Julie, is sitting next to Fitz and she's been flirting with him all night and it's driving me crazy. I spot her put her hand on Fitz's arm and it makes something inside of me flare up in anger. Rationally I know Fitz isn't doing anything wrong, he hasn't even touched her and he's just being the charming businessman he is, and I'm very glad Mellie isn't the one with her hand on his arm. But even though I know that I suddenly have the urge to flirt with the man who is sitting on the other side of me and has been attempting to flirt with me all night. He's older than me but not as old as Fitz, I want to say mid-thirties, and he's an attractive guy, he's very nice too, not flirting with me in the obnoxious way guys my own age usually flirt. In just a nice way that I actually might respond to if I had any interest in dating anyone other than Fitz, which I do not.

I ease into the flirting, a light touch on the arm, grabbing his watch and complimenting him on it, showing him the weird napkin trick my Dad taught me when I was a kid, leaning in too close when I talk to him. I know Fitz has been watching me, I can practically feel his gaze burning into me. I don't really understand—and I'm not entirely sure that I want to understand—why seeing Fitz get angry and possessive over me turns me on. Suddenly he excuses himself from the table and I get a text message, just a single word, 'Outside'. I snort and excuse myself, not that anyone has really noticed since the group is pretty much collectively drunk.

We are eating in one of the conference rooms of the hotel Mellie and the rest of the people from the magazine are staying at and when I walk out of the room I notice Fitz is right outside the door. He grabs onto my arm and he pulls me behind him until we walk through an exit and out into the night. He turns toward me and he looks kind of angry but kind of turned on, like he knew I was flirting just to get a reaction out of him but it still pissed him off a little bit. He walks up to me and pushes me against the wall; his left hand is gripping my hair while his right hand heads for my bum and uses it to push my pelvis into his own. His mouth captures my own and he grinds against me and I can feel through his pants that he's starting to get aroused. I push him away after his hand has made its way down my thigh, bringing it around his hips and starting to push my dress farther and farther up. I hold him at arm's length and he sighs but doesn't try to move my hands because he knows we can't do this here and he backs away gracefully. He then looks at his watch.

"A car will be here in ten minutes for you, it will be taking you back to my house."

I pout, "Why am I going alone?"

He laughs and runs his hand down my arm, "You know why." I sense a hint of sadness in his voice; it's been harder and harder for us to keep our relationship a secret lately.

I frown, "You'll be there soon after?"

"No more than thirty minutes later, I promise."

I pout but turn around and head back into the hotel anyway.

Approximately twenty-seven minutes after I arrive at Fitz's house he walks through the bedroom door where I am lying—clad in one of his Berkeley t-shirt's as usual—on his bed and watching the Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon.

He walks into the room and quickly deposits his suit jacket and tie on the lounge near the fireplace. He disrobes slowly and puts a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt on before heading into the bathroom. He hasn't said a word to me and I'm getting a little nervous that he actually is angry about my little tease at dinner.

He comes back into the bedroom and walks over to my side of the bed instead of his own. He grabs the remote from my hands and he moves to get on the bed, his legs straddling my own so that his pelvis is right on top of mine. He doesn't actually sit on my pelvis because he is much heavier than I am and is always afraid he's going to break me, but he puts enough pressure on my pelvis so that I can feel his hardness in his pants.

He moves to his side of the bed after a moment and pulls me down so that my back is flat on the bed and he is now lying beside me. He pulls my arms across my body and holds them together against my chest with one of his hands as the other makes its way down my body and into my panties.

I gasp when his fingers reach my core and dive into me, he continues his ministrations as my hips start to buck and I turn my head toward him in an attempt to find his lips with my own. He starts to breathe heavily onto my neck, driving me even crazier. He knows that I want his mouth on mine and he's purposely not giving it to me.

"Fiiitz." I moan as he pumps his fingers into me quicker and quicker and I can feel my release building.

His thumb is working magic and within minutes he's sending me over the edge into oblivion.

He rolls off me and lets got of my hands, pulling me closer to him so that our bodies are lined up, a smug smile on his face.

I'm still breathing heavily when he finally kisses me and in-between kisses murmurs, "You make me so possessive Livvy, I can't trust myself to behave around you. The next time you try to make me jealous I will march over to you and claim you as mine in front of whoever is watching, fuck the consequences."

He is scary serious as I look into his eyes, almost so serious that I'm a little scared. But as his tongue finds its way into my mouth my fears are quelled and even I am kind of amazed at the power I have over this man.

I pull back just a little bit, "I hate that Mellie didn't even do anything, she didn't even flirt with you, and yet I still find myself hating her. I get that its irrational because I don't even know her and she's been nothing but nice to me but I know that she hurt you and that makes me hate her." I say quietly.

Fitz smiles and runs a hand through my hair, "I'm okay with that. Actually in a weird way it boots my ego a little bit."

I roll my eyes and laugh as I try to turn away from him, "You're such an ass."

He pulls me back toward him, "Yes but I'm an ass who loves you."

I try not to smile but I can't help it, "Yeah, I guess there's that."

"Do you think she suspected there was something between us or if she was just fishing?"

He sighs, "Just fishing, she just does that. It's like her creepy way of tracking my life."

I nod my head, "Okay, just checking."

He pulls me closer to him and starts to kiss me lazily until he lets out a big yawn. I push him over onto his back and laugh quietly at him.

I run my hand through his hair and start to lightly massage his scalp as I lay beside him.

"Oh god that's good." He groans.

After a little while I sit up and pull my hand away and Fitz doesn't miss a beat, "Noooo, don't stop." He whines.

I roll my eyes even though he can't see me, "Turn around and take your shirt off, you baby." I say as I reach down to slap his thigh.

He struggles to take his shirt off while maintaining his position lying down and then flips his body over like he's a small child and I can't help but laugh. He finally deposits the shirt on the floor and I climb over him so that I'm straddling him and I begin to massage his shoulders. He's been so tense the past week with Mellie in town that I can feel his stiff muscles loosen up as I take my time massaging his neck, shoulders, and back. He groans in appreciation as my hands work their magic.

Since he's been so stressed and I can tell he's pretty exhausted, I've decided to give him a little treat to help him fall asleep.

"Turn around one more time," I say, balancing myself on my knees over top him so he has room to shift.

He turns around and smiles at me, "Hi."

I'm grinning back at him, "Hi."

He pulls me down for a long and lingering kiss and after a moment I break away and sit upright again, making Fitz pout.

I laugh at him and stick my tongue out, now he knows how it feels! I bring my hands to his pants and start to undo the drawstring, sliding myself down so that I am sitting on his thighs.

Fitz's eyes grow wide and he grabs my hand as I start to slide the pants down his body, "Livvy, you know that if you don't like doing this you don't have to."

I smile at him, "Fitz, I like this, I like doing this for you. Just lay back, relax and let me do this for you. This moment is all about you."

I pull his pants down and off him slowly, he sleeps with no boxer briefs on under his pajamas and I love that, it's much easier access. I take him softly in my hand and stroke him for a moment so that he is straight at attention. I lower my body so I'm kneeling in between his legs and I take him in my mouth. I can hear Fitz groaning in pleasure and it just spurs me on, I love how good I can make him feel when I do this. I work my magic with my mouth and a little bit later Fitz reaches his climax and finds his release. He takes a moment to catch his breath and then pulls me up his body so that I am lying on his chest. He hugs me close to him and places kisses on my jawline and then a hot, wet kiss on my mouth.

"I don't know if I'm majorly over-sharing and maybe going to freak you out, but I want to tell you something."

I look up at him, confused as to what he's talking about.

"You know the last time I had a blowjob?"

"You mean last week when I gave you one while we were in Carmel? Because if you've had another one since then there might be a murder happening in a few minutes."

Fitz laughs, "No, no I'm sorry I mean the last time I had a blowjob before you came along, the last time was when I was first engaged to Mellie, which was almost sixteen years ago. She didn't really like them and also wasn't very good at them. "

I sit up straight and stare at him, "You mean to tell me that the blow job I gave you at Quasar Con was the first one you had gotten in sixteen years."

Fitz nods his head and I'm still staring at him in shock.

"So the last time you got a blow job…I was only ten years old. Holy fuck. You were engaged to be married and I was in the fifth grade. I don't think I even know what a blowjob was back then. That's probably a good thing though."

Fitz laughs for a moment before his laugh turns into a frown, "Sometimes I forget how young you are." He says as he runs his hand through a strand of my hair. "I mean I'm almost a whole person who can vote older than you. Sometimes I just, I feel like I'm a dirty old man who's taking advantage of you."

I mimic his frown, "I don't care that you're older than me. You want to know something?"

Fitz smiles and nods his head.

"I liked you from the moment I met you. I was so nervous; it felt like I was meeting a movie star or something. I just couldn't stop staring at you and comparing you to Clark Kent in my head."

Fitz grins, "I reminded you of Clark Kent?"

"Yeah, it was mostly your hair."

"I'm still going to take that as a compliment, especially coming from you, you nerd."

I laugh and slap him lightly on the shoulder. "Well, you should take it as a compliment. I _love_ Clark Kent."

There's a moment of silence between the two of us, but it's comfortable silence, easy silence. I decide I should be the first one to break the silence, "Fitz, I love you, and only about five percent of that has to do with the fact that I think you're the most handsome man I've ever met in real life. I…I love you as a person, I love being around you, I love talking to you, I know this is kind of complicated but I am in love with you and I don't care what anyone else thinks about that."

Fitz is grinning at me by the time I stop mumbling. "I love you so much, Livvy."

"Okay then, go to sleep because I want to hike tomorrow."

"Yes, ma'am." He says and kisses me on the forehead, pulling me close as we both drift off to sleep.

I wake up the next morning and Fitz and I have shifted positions. He is now on top of me, his head is in between my breasts and his arms are wrapped around my waist and his legs are tangled in my own.

I don't want to make him move so I just lay there silently and run my hand through his hair. He starts to wake up and turns his head so he's looking up at me.

"Good morning." I say to him and he smiles up at me.

He then nuzzles his head into my chest and I start to laugh at the contact, he then scoots himself up so we are eye level and kisses me lightly. He then grabs the hem of the Berkeley shirt of his that I love to sleep in that has ridden up so far that it's exposing the undies I'm wearing.

He tugs at the shirt; "I love it when you wear my shirts."

I laugh at him and turn slightly so I can kiss him. He leans into me and starts to kiss me back, slowly pushing me back into the pillow so that I'm lying flat on the bed once again. Then all of a sudden I feel his hand slide down from my stomach and into my panties. I gasp as his fingers find the sensitive bud between my legs and start to massage me slowly. He continues to kiss me and his fingers make their way to my wetness and I start to roll my pelvis as he pumps his fingers in and out of me.

"Fitz." I moan. He pushes my panties all the way down and he pulls my body back toward him so that we are both lying on our sides. I pull the sheet off his body and I see him ready and at attention. He runs his hand down my thigh and he moves it so that it's covering his own thigh. I can now feel his member pressing at my entrance and I can't wait any longer so I reach my hand down and guide him into me. I move my hips and feel him sink into me and I moan into his mouth.

Fitz's hand makes its way back up my thigh to my bottom and pushes himself further into me. We sink into a familiar rhythm, soft and slow sex, but this morning I'm in the mood for Fitz to have total control so I run my hand along his back and I tug at him, indicating I want him on top of me. He moves over so that he's shifted on top of me. He pushes my legs back and I can't help but arch forward at the change in angle.

His mouth finds my neck and he's definitely going to leave a mark but right now I don't really care. His hand finds mine and he intertwines our fingers as he picks up his pace.

He's groaning into my ear and I'm arching into him and I know this is going to be fairly quick.

I come quickly and Fitz is close behind, collapsing over me as we both try to catch our breaths.

He rolls himself off me once he catches his breath and he pulls me with him so that I am now resting on his chest.

We lay there in silence for a little bit until I remember something I've needed to tell Fitz.

"Hey, um if you want to have any sex tomorrow through Wednesday then you're going to have to buy some condoms."

He leans forward a little and gives me a totally confused look, "Wait, what? Why?"

"Remember how I told you I was going to switch from the pill to the implant?"

Fitz nods his head and so I continue talking.

"Well, today is the last day for my pill and I couldn't get an appointment to get the implant in until Tuesday so therefore you have to go buy condoms if you want to get up in this business for the next four days." I make a wave motion over my pelvis and Fitz bursts out laughing.

"Liv, really? I can't buy condoms; I'm forty-three years old. How come I have to buy them?"

"Because you're the man, the man buys the condoms." I say, trying my best to give him my most serious look.

He lays his head back and groans.

"It's either buy condoms or be celibate for four days. Your choice but I am absolutely not getting pregnant so those are your only options."

Fitz sighs, "What would you do if you did, I mean birth control isn't one hundred percent effective, have you ever thought about what you would do if you did get pregnant?"

I prop my head up on my arm next to him and I purse my lips together in contemplation. "You mean would I consider…terminating it?"

Fitz turns to face me and nods his head yes.

"Fitz I need to be honest with you here, I'm twenty-six, I don't want to have a baby. There's a lot I want to do with my life that would be massively complicated if I had a baby. I can't tell you that I wouldn't consider it; I can't lie to you like that. Now, would I ever be able to actually go through with it? I don't know. I honestly just don't know." I pause for a moment to assess Fitz's reaction.

He looks like he's thinking about my response and it's making me very nervous. Finally he speaks, "Okay, I appreciate you being honest with me."

I move my hand up to his head and run it through his hair gently until he grabs it and brings it down to his mouth so he can lightly kiss my palm.

I smile, "I do picture it sometimes though. Especially since you took me to Carmel. Us together, a couple kids. I can picture it."

Fitz grins, "Four kids?"

I roll my eyes, "Nope. No way."

He laughs, "That's all right, I still love you."

I shake my head and then start to get up and out of the bed.

"Come on old man, let's get our day started."

Fitz practically leaps out of bed after me and I squeal and scamper away.

"I am going to get you for that Ms. Pope." He says, grabbing onto my waist and throwing me over his shoulder.

I am laughing hysterically as Fitz carries me into the bathroom, this is definitely not the worst way to spend a Saturday morning.

* * *

Thanks for reading guys! I don't know that I'll get another chapter up tomorrow but I should be able to get one up on Thursday. Thanks for being patient with me :]. Please don't forget to leave me a review!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	25. Chapter 25

"_No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his ghostly heart." _

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

Fitz and I have started out on our hike after eating breakfast. We are making our way through the hills behind Fitz's house and it is really quite a gorgeous day for a hike.

We get to the spot atop the hill he took me to on our first weekend at his house together and we put down a blanket and we take out a few snacks we brought along.

"So why does Mellie piss you off so much? I mean, it's been so long since you guys have been together, I just…I guess I don't understand." I say as I grab an apple slice from the bag.

Fitz sighs and puts his hands behind his head and lies down on the blanket.

"Fitz, come on." I whine.

"It's not that she pisses me off, honestly I don't even think about her until she barges in on my life every couple years. It's the way she treats me when she's around, like she's just trying to push my buttons. It just makes me mad. It's not exactly her, it's just how she knows exactly what to say to hit me where it hurts."

I lie down on my side right next to Fitz, "I get that. Every time I go home and I see Jake and he begs me to reconsider our situation I just feel so guilty. He knows how to make me feel guilty. I get it, exes have power over us sometimes even when we don't want them to."

He just nods his agreement so I continue talking.

"What do you think Mellie would say if she knew we were dating?"

Fitz laughs, "Oh my god, she'd blow a gasket. And it's not because she wants me, she's happily married, but I think she's just gotten used to the idea of me being alone, like it's some sort of prize to see me alone, like she's won or something. That is kind of ridiculous but that's the way her mind works."

I start to laugh too but I get serious rather quickly, "Why did you get so jealous of me flirting with that guy?"

He turns his head slightly to look at me, "I know what you're thinking and it's not because I don't trust you. It's just that you're young and beautiful and you could have literally anyone you wanted and sometimes I get nervous that you're going to realize that you could do better than some old man like me."

I give him a small smile, "I can't do any better than you because you are the best. I know that I'm beautiful, I'm not stupid. I've always been able to have anyone I wanted. The problem always was I never really wanted anyone. I never knew what it felt like to really want someone until I met you. I liked Jake, I thought that I could convince myself that I really wanted him but it never happened and I thought maybe that was normal. That my expectations were too high and I shouldn't have my heart set on some fairy tale. Then I met you and now I feel silly that I ever stopped believing because this whole relationship has felt like a fairy tale and the thing that scares me is that I'm going to wake up and it's all going to have been a dream."

Fitz turns to me and reaches over to grab my hand that's fiddling with the blanket. He intertwines our fingers and he pulls my hand over his chest so that it's resting over his heart.

"I promise you this isn't a dream. And if it is well, then I hope I never wake up."

I smile at him and scoot my body closer to his so I can kiss him lightly on the cheek. Then I lean over so that I can whisper in his ear, "Fitz, I don't think you're an old man. I know that I joke about it sometimes but I truly don't see you as an old man."

Fitz shifts his body so he's now angled toward me. "Olivia, how old is your Dad?"

My eyes narrow, "Um, first of all, thanks a lot for killing my sex drive right then. Second, why do you care how old my Dad is?"

"Come on Olivia, just humor me."

I sigh, "My Dad is fifty-four."

Fitz sighs and lies flat on his back again. "I am almost eighteen years older than you and I am only eleven years younger than your Dad. How do you think he'll feel about that?"

"I don't know Fitz. Why are we talking about this? Are you trying to get me to break up with you or something?"

"No!" He says forcefully, "No, absolutely not. I'm just warning you that while we see this as a sort of fairytale, not everyone will see it that way."

I nod my head, "Okay."

We just lie there in silence for a little while until Fitz breaks it. "Charlotte is coming to visit me." He says quietly.

"Charlotte your cousin?"

He nods, "Yeah, just for a weekend. She's meeting a friend in San Francisco for a day so she wanted to come down and visit me. She's bringing her youngest son Wyatt with her, her other two are in school so they're staying with their Dad. But I offered to take care of Wyatt for the day while she went to see her friend."

I trace my fingers lazily over his chest, "So…what are you trying to say to me here?"

Fitz smiles, "I am trying to ask you if you'd like to meet my family?"

I start to grin, "I would love to." And I lean in to place a light kiss on his lips.

Tuesday night comes around and I have the appointment to get my implant after work. It's surprisingly quick and I arrive at Fitz's house around 7 PM.

I walk in the door and as I head into the kitchen I smell food and I'm grateful because I'm starving.

I spot him in the dining room and I pause in the doorway, "Hey handsome."

He turns around to see me and smiles, "Hey beautiful."

He walks over to me and grabs my face in his hands and kisses me hard on the mouth, making me laugh.

"How did it go?" He asks, running a hand through my hair.

"It was fine quick and easy." I say, holding up my arm and showing Fitz where the implant now resides in my arm. "See, you can barely tell."

"Does it hurt?" He asks, touching my arm lightly over where the implant was placed.

"No, not at all."

"So now we no longer have any need for the condoms?" Fitz asks, wiggling his eyebrows like a nut.

I laugh, "Um actually we have to use them for a week still. Apparently if you aren't on your period when you initially get the implant then it takes a week to become fully effective."

Fitz groans and I laugh, "God you're such a baby about condoms. Even after I let you get those creepy glow in the dark ones."

Fitz laughs, "I do like those."

"You are such a weirdo." I say with a laugh.

After we eat dinner we decide to watch a movie. We're sitting on the sofa snuggling when Fitz starts to kiss my neck.

I pretend to swat him away, "Fitz, stop it, I'm trying to watch the movie."

Fitz laughs, "You don't even care about the movie."

I try to lean away but Fitz just pins me down on the sofa.

I'm laughing hysterically now and I can't keep up this act anymore.

He starts to kiss me and of course I kiss him back.

His hand starts to find it's way up my shirt and around my back to slowly unhook my bra.

I reach my hands upward to start unbuttoning his shirt and slowly make my way down to his pants and I start to undo those too.

He pushes my arms away after a minute and he pulls my shirt over my head and tosses it on the floor. My bra follows soon after and he starts to kiss my chest.

His mouth makes its way down my body and he starts to undo my pants. He pulls them off my body and he doesn't waste time with my underwear, he just pulls it right off with my pants.

He makes his way back up my body and captures my lips with his own and his hands are strong against my sides, holding our bodies together like his life depends on it.

My hands find their way back to his pants and finish undoing them. I slide them down his body, taking his underwear right with them.

He sits up and takes his pants off the rest of the way by himself before repositioning himself above me as we resume our kissing.

I can feel him pressing at my entrance when I realize we are forgetting something.

"Fitz, wait stop. We need a condom."

He buries his face in my neck and groans, "Okay, lets go upstairs."

He hastily gets off the sofa and he throws me over his shoulder.

I burst out laughing as Fitz carries me up the stairs and tosses me gently on the bed.

Fitz tosses a couple of the throw pillows off the bed and then climbs over me again and he doesn't waste any time as he swiftly puts a condom on and enters me, making me gasp at the contact.

My hands run over his back, I love to feel his back, it's strong and firm and I feel so safe when he's above me.

"Livvy, you always feel like goddamned heaven." He grunts into my ear.

Fitz usually likes to start out slow but tonight he's already going pretty fast. After a little bit he pulls out and flips me over so that I am lying on my front and he is above me. I feel him enter me from behind and I grip the sheets as my body accommodates him. He runs his hands down over my bum and my sides, slowly pausing as he draws circles around my shoulder blades before he runs his hands down my arms and positions himself directly above me so our whole bodies are touching.

His right hand intertwines with my hand on the bed as a support for our bodies while the other hand reaches under my arm and up to cup my neck in order to turn my head so that I'm facing him.

His lips find mine and he picks up his pace again and I can feel all the pleasure building up in my body and getting ready to explode.

A few more thrusts is all it takes for me and before I know it I am collapsed on the bed and Fitz comes slowly after me, sinking down next to me.

He pulls my body close to his, we're both sweaty and sticky but we don't really care.

He plants a few lazy kisses on my neck and I finally catch my breath as we both doze off to sleep.

The next morning comes much too early and I am surprised when I hear a voice I don't recognize in the room.

"Well, well, good morning Fitzgerald." The voice says.

I open my eyes in a daze and I'm completely shocked when I see a blonde woman standing in the doorway to Fitz's bedroom.

I turn over to look at Fitz just as he opens his eyes and I see his facial expression go from confused to in total shock in less than one second.

"Oh, my god Charlotte, what are you doing here?" Fitz exclaims, quickly pulling the comforter up and over his chest.

I have now pulled the covers over my head because I am completely humiliated here.

"You've been strangely cryptic lately so I thought I'd get down here early and figure out what was going on with you. Obviously I have that mystery figured out." She says with a laugh.

"All right Charlotte, now can you please leave the room and shut the door. We can talk about this downstairs in the kitchen." Fitz pleads.

"Okay, don't be too long." She teases and then I hear the door shut and I take a deep breath because I'm grateful that embarrassment is over.

Fitz pulls the covers from over my head and he sinks down into the pillow next to me.

"I am so sorry about that. I didn't think she was coming until early this afternoon." He moans, putting his hands over his face.

I turn toward him and pull his hands away. "That was humiliating but lets just consider it payback for Abby bursting in on us."

Fitz laughs and reaches up to touch my face lightly.

"I love you. And I hope you still love me after you meet Charlotte."

I give him a small smile, "I will always love you. No matter what."

He leans in to kiss me, "We should probably head downstairs then."

We get out of bed and change quickly into some sweats and then we head downstairs.

As we round down the stairs I can hear a voice in the kitchen and when we head into the kitchen I see Charlotte talking to a small child sitting in a high chair next to Fitz's kitchen table.

Fitz walks right over to the little boy and picks him up, cuddling him and kissing his chubby little cheeks.

He turns toward me, "Liv this is my cousin Charlotte. Charlotte this is my girlfriend Liv."

He takes a few steps toward me, "And this is my favorite little man, Wyatt."

Fitz is grinning at Wyatt and I can't help but smile at how enthralled he is with this tiny human.

Charlotte walks over to me and extends her hand, "It's nice to meet you Liv."

I take her hand, "It's very nice to meet you Charlotte. Fitz speaks very fondly of you."

She releases my hand, "I wish I could say the same to you but Fitzgerald here has been keeping you a secret." She says, turning to Fitz and lightly smacking him on the arm.

"Oww, hey!" He says, prying his eyes away from Wyatt and turning them to Charlotte, who in turn rolls her eyes.

"Fitzgerald, how have you failed to mention her to me? How long have you two been dating?" She demands.

Fitz smiles and looks over at me, "We've been seeing each other for three months and actually I have mentioned her."

He turns toward me a little hesitantly and Charlotte looks confused, "Charlotte this is Olivia."

Charlotte still looks totally confused.

"My assistant, Olivia."

Charlotte's eyes grow wide, "Oh my gosh _this_ is Olivia."

I can't read her reaction and it's making me nervous so I turn to look at Fitz.

Fitz laughs, "Yes, this is Olivia. Charlotte please do not make a big deal out of this."

She turns away from me and toward Fitz and starts to speak in a hushed voice, "Fitz, this is your assistant, what are you doing?"

He looks over at her and he has a scarily serious glare on his face, "Charlotte, this is not my assistant Olivia. This is Livvy, this is the person I love."

Charlotte's mouth drops wide open and I think that she's going to protest but she doesn't. Instead she shuts her mouth and she just simply says, "Okay."

I know I look confused and Fitz turns to me and notices my expression and starts to laugh.

Charlotte turns to me and reaches out to grab my hand. "I trust Fitz, he's not technically my brother but he's the only brother I've ever had and I love him and if he loves you then this is okay because all I want for him is happiness. I'm thrilled to meet you Liv."

I smile, "Thank you. And just so you know, I love him too."

Charlotte is staring at me with this goofy smile on her face so I decide to change the subject. "Um, Charlotte, how old is Wyatt?"

"He's fifteen months old. I know, I must seem like a crazy person for having a baby at forty-two but I always wanted three kids."

"How old are your other two?" I ask.

"Parker is eleven and Hannah is six." She replies.

"Wow a five year age gap between each of them. That's kind of a great amount."

Charlotte smiles, "Yeah, I think so too. I liked that I could give them each sort of individual attention but they'd still have each other. Do you have siblings?"

"Yeah, actually I have two sisters. My older sister, Victoria, just turned twenty-eight and my younger sister, Caroline, is twenty-two."

"That's nice, and you're twenty-five?" She asks casually.

I laugh as Fitz starts shaking his head. "She's twenty-six Charlotte, and way to try to be casual about that."

Charlotte just shrugs and laughs it off, "Oh shut up, how about I make some breakfast for us all?"

I laugh, "Yeah, that sounds great. I can help you if you'd like?"

Charlotte shakes her head, "No, no! You sit down and get to know Wyatt, I assume Fitz has coerced you into helping him babysit this afternoon?"

I sit down next to Fitz at the table and turn slightly so I can face Charlotte, "He did, he bribed me with another weekend in Carmel." I say, sticking my tongue out at Fitz in a teasing manner.

Charlotte stops whatever she's doing and turns around to face us. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is open. "You took her to your Carmel house?"

Fitz has a guilty look on his face, "Yeah, I did. Sorry Charlotte."

Charlotte leans against the counter and looks straight at me, "Liv you have to give me the details, what's it like? This weirdo has kept it hidden from everyone like it's some huge secret, he refuses to even show us pictures!"

"Well, um I took a bunch of pictures on my phone if you'd like to see those?" I offer.

Charlotte's eyes light up, "Liv, I like you already."

Later that afternoon Charlotte has left for San Francisco and Fitz and I are playing with Wyatt in the living room.

I am holding Wyatt and bouncing him up and down on my hip as I sing to him softly.

Fitz is just staring at me, a goofy smile on his face.

"What are you staring at?" I ask him jokingly.

"Nothing." He says, still grinning.

I roll my eyes, "Fitz, subtle is one thing you are not. What is your deal?"

"You just look good, that's all."

I tense up and I decide to set Wyatt on his blanket on the ground so that he can play again and I take a few steps backward.

Fitz's eyes narrow, "What's wrong, Livvy?"

I shake my head, "Don't do this Fitz. Please don't do this."

"Don't do what Olivia? Talk about what I want. I know you're not ready to start a family but that doesn't mean I can just suddenly stop wanting one. I'm allowed to talk about the things I want, I'm not just going to file them away and forget about them."

He takes a deep breath and crosses his arms, "And I realize that you want a career but that doesn't mean you can't also have a family. We can have a nanny, I can stay home, we can move closer to your parents, there are a million ways to make this work but you have to be willing to give a little. This relationship can't just be about what you want, it has to include what I want too."

I sigh, "Fitz, we're not married, we're not even engaged. You don't get to be mad about me not wanting to talk about that stuff because I'm not even going to think about any of it until we plan on getting married. You don't just get to skip that step with me because you've already done it. Marriage means something to me, I'm not a girly girl but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about my dream wedding. You don't get to take away that dream because you're so damn worried about being an old Dad. I want to be a bride, at the beautiful, perfect wedding I've been dreaming about since I was a little girl and that dream does not involve me being pregnant or already having a baby. I don't want that until after I'm married. That's important to me."

Fitz doesn't respond to me at first and I'm afraid he might be mad at me. He bends down to the ground to help Wyatt with a toy and thankfully when he looks up at me he's smiling, "I wouldn't have pegged you for the type of girl to plan your wedding."

I look away because I can feel my cheeks getting hot.

He continues, "I like that, what's your ideal wedding?"

I look away without responding.

"Oh come on Livvy, just tell me the theme?" He begs.

I sigh and turn back around toward him and sit down on the sofa. "I always wanted it to be fairy tale themed, The Princess Bride specifically but I'd have other nods to my favorite stories mixed in there."

Fitz is just grinning at me so I continue to speak.

"I want it to be an outdoor wedding and I want the decorations to be lanterns and stone with light blue ribbons all over. Swords stuck in the ground indicating each row of new pews. I'd want wooden chairs instead of pews. I want the groom dressed in an all black tuxedo like the Dread Pirate Roberts. I know Buttercup's dress had a decent amount of detail on it but I'd rather have my dress be all lace with maybe a simple belt with some pearls on it. I'd also want the dress to be champagne colored, not white. I…I don't know…Fitz you need to stop staring at me with that goofy grin on your face, it's freaking me out."

I'm getting embarrassed because Fitz just continues to look at me like that.

Finally I've had enough and I get up and storm out of the room.

I hear Fitz scramble to put Wyatt in his playpen as he follows me. I sit down on a deck chair on the patio and Fitz catches up to me a moment later.

"I'm sorry Livvy, I wasn't trying to make you feel self-conscious, honestly, I just like that you think about that kind of thing."

I turn toward him, "Do you even want to get married again?"

He sighs and runs a hand through my hair, "I wasn't sure I did, but then I met you. If you want a big wedding then I'm happy to oblige. You can have as big and elaborate a wedding as your heart desires."

I take a deep breath and nod my head, "Okay, can we go back in there and stop talking about weddings and babies for a little while? It's making me anxious."

Fitz laughs, "We can do that. I thought we could swim if that sounds good to you?"

I smile, "Yeah, I'd love that. Swimming sounds great Fitz."

* * *

Hi guys! I am SO sorry I haven't posted in a while! I needed a break so I went to Hawaii! Actually, I was supposed to go home yesterday but I will now be here through June 5th...long story! haha Anyway, you'll get another chapter tomorrow because this chapter has a second part to it because I felt I needed to split it up and ALSO since you guys have waited so long and been so cool I'm going to post a NEW STORY tomorrow! It's called "Innocent" and it was inspired by the preview for "How To Get Away With Murder" so please look out for that! And follow me on twitter and tumblr, hazelblye on both, if you want more details on updates and all that good stuff! Thanks SO much guys and please leave me lots of reviews because I loooooveee them!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	26. Chapter 26

"You see I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad things that happened to me."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

* * *

Fitz, Wyatt and I spent some time in the pool and then ate dinner out on the patio. Wyatt is actually a lot of fun to be with. He's probably the most easygoing child I've ever met. He laughs a lot and to my pleasant surprise has not cried once today.

We finish eating and we go in to wash up. We decide to give Wyatt a bath first and after having a great time watching him thoroughly enjoy playing with all the bath toys I had no idea Fitz had hidden under the sink in one of his guest bathrooms, Fitz dries him off and he puts on Wyatt's cute little pajamas and Wyatt cannot stop giggling as Fitz tickles him. I'm watching them from my perch on a cozy chair in the guest bedroom and suddenly I find myself feeling incredibly uncomfortable. This whole day has been fun but it's also given me a glance into something I don't want at this point in my life and to be truthful, something I'm not sure I want anytime soon. And Fitz….Fitz is a natural with Wyatt. It's clear he absolutely adores him and Wyatt seems to absolutely adore Fitz as well.

I announce to Fitz that I'm going to take a shower and I head off into his bedroom. I pause at his dresser as I take off my earrings and stare at a photo of us from Carmel. I sigh, I love Fitz, I really do, but sometimes I'm afraid that we are just at such different points in our life that we're never going to make it work.

I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I quickly strip down and jump into the steaming shower and let the water rush over my face. I lean backward into the cool marble of the shower and I close my eyes. I'm a little humiliated at the thought that I just blurted all that stuff out about getting engaged and married like it was nothing. We've mentioned it in passing but we've never really talked about it and I hate that I just blurted it out like it was a given. What really freaks me out is that it didn't seem to faze Fitz at all. In all honesty, he seemed to like it. And while I do want to get married, I don't want to do it for at least a couple years.

After a little while I open my eyes and proceed with my shower. When I get out of the shower I make my way over to the vanity which although was previously vacant, now houses some toiletries of mine. I pull out a hairbrush and I start to comb through my curly hair.

I must be lost in a daze because I am slightly startled when I look into the mirror and see Fitz's face staring back at me. His mouth is pressed into a hard line and I can't tell if he's angry or if he's just concentrating.

"Where's Wyatt?"

Fitz's face relaxes into a smile, "Fell right asleep after I put him into bed." He motions to the baby monitor he's set near his sink.

I relax a little because now I know he isn't mad.

He walks up behind me and puts his hands on my bare shoulders and starts to massage his thumbs into my spine. It feels heavenly and I find myself closing my eyes once again.

He goes on like that for a few minutes and then he leans down and kisses my neck ever so lightly before whispering in my ear, "What's going on with you?"

I open my eyes and shake my head, "Nothing, I'm just tired."

He frowns, "Don't lie to me Olivia."

I let out an exasperated sigh, "Fitz, come on. I don't want to talk about it."

Fitz lets go of my shoulders and crosses his arms and I'm a little nervous that he's going to get really mad at me.

"I don't care that you don't want to talk about it. We're in a relationship; we need to talk about things, that's how it works."

Yep, he's definitely mad at me. I get up and turn around to face him. "Fitz, you are an incredible person and I see you with Wyatt, you're so good with him and he just adores you, and I…I can't give you what you want. Not right now at least. I just don't see how this is going to work because I can't be the reason you don't get what you want. I just couldn't bear it if you ever resented me."

Fitz looks baffled, like he's dumbfounded and doesn't know what to say. He runs his hands through his hair and takes a step toward me. He sighs and then puts his hands on my cheeks, his thumbs stroking my skin.

"Do you honestly think I want a marriage and kids and all that more than I want you?"

My mouth drops open, I don't even know what to say.

He continues, "I forgot I wanted all those things until I met you. I forgot what it was like to love someone, to want to spend your life with someone, until I met you. None of those things mean anything if they aren't with you. We can take as long as you need, it doesn't matter to me, I'm not going to stop wanting them but I am willing to wait as long as you need because if I loose you then I loose everything. I will _never_ resent you."

I immediately step forward and throw my arms around his neck. I just hug him tightly for a little while and I revel in the feel of his strong arms around me.

After a moment I pull back, "I'm sorry I brought up engagements and marriage like it was just a given. I felt so stupid."

Fitz frowns, "Why did that make you feel stupid?"

I shrug, "Because we haven't really talked about it and we've only been dating for three months. That's kind of nuts."

Fitz grins, "Well stop feeling stupid about it because someday it will happen. I can be your Westley as long as you're my Buttercup."

I grin and bury my face in Fitz's shirt and he hugs me tightly.

"Let's go to bed Buttercup. Charlotte won't be home until late and I'm exhausted."

I nod my head and I can't help but laugh at his calling me Buttercup.

The next morning I wake up and Fitz is absent from bed. I creep down the stairs and I hear two voices coming from the kitchen. I pause for a moment to eavesdrop.

"Fitz, she's great I agree with you, but are you sure you're just not going through some midlife crisis?"

"Olivia is not a midlife crisis, Charlotte. She's….she's just extraordinary. Everything about her, she makes me want to be a better person, she makes me feel alive, when I'm with her everything in my life seems like it's in place. I want her more than I've ever wanted anyone or anything in my entire life."

"Oh Fitz, I've never seen you like this before. Even when we were kids you never got all googly eyed over a girl like this. It's kind of nice to see."

I hear Fitz laugh and it makes me smile.

I figure I should probably stop eavesdropping and I take a few steps backward and I try to make a noise at the bottom of the stairs so that they know I'm coming.

I walk into the kitchen and both Fitz and Charlotte smile at me.

Fitz gets up and walks over to me, planting a big kiss on my mouth and make me blush.

"Good morning gorgeous."

"Good morning." I whisper against his lips.

He finally releases me, a huge, satisfied smile on his face. "I made pancakes. I'll get you a plate, how you usually like them?"

"Yes please." I say with a smile.

I walk over and sit down next to Charlotte.

"You have a usual pancake order? How many nights a week do you two spend together?" She teases.

I blush profusely, "Um, usually about five. Sometimes we spend the night at my apartment."

Charlotte raises her eyebrows in amusement, "Fitz sleeps at your place? Wow, that's a very un-Fitzgerald Grant thing to do."

I frown, "Why is that?"

Charlotte reaches over and grabs my hand, "Oh sweetie I didn't mean to make that sound so strange, I just meant that he's a bit of a homebody."

I smile, "Oh, yeah, that's definitely true."

"Livvy, I seem to be out of that syrup you like but I could have sworn I bought some."

I look up, "I think we may have put it in the cabinet next to the basement refrigerator since there was already one up here. I'll go look."

"No no, I've got it." He says and he's out of the kitchen before I can object.

Charlotte turns to face me, "Okay good, now that Fitz is out of the room I want to talk to you. I really like you Olivia, I think you're a great girl and I haven't seen Fitz this happy in a very long time. I do need to say that apart from my children and my husband, Fitz is my favorite person on the planet. I love him dearly and I never want to stop seeing him this happy. I know you're young and you have a lot of life left to live but please, please don't break his heart. I see him with you and I just can't help but think that he wouldn't ever recover from losing you."

I smile at her and I grasp her hand tightly, "I don't think I'd survive losing him either."

Charlotte grins and leans forward to hug me and just as she pulls back Fitz walks back into the room, syrup in hand.

"You were right, as usual Livvy." He says with a grin that sends a tingly feeling down my spine.

We eat our breakfast and Charlotte leaves soon after.

Sadly, the rest of the week drags by tediously slowly. We're incredibly busy and that's usually good but all of a sudden it's Saturday and Fitz and I have not spent one night together since Sunday night.

Fitz and Harrison had to take a client golfing this morning and I declined their invitation to join. I absolutely hate golfing, plus I promised Abby I would go scope out a few galleries with her.

Fitz has promise to come to my apartment as soon as he's done with dinner and walking around the shops and galleries has given me an idea.

Abby is gone for the night with the guy she's currently seeing and therefore I have decided to make my bedroom a romantic paradise.

I have spent the entire afternoon getting ready. I bought a really nice bottle of wine, some candles that smell like Paris, and a ridiculous new piece of lingerie that I can barely breathe in when I wear. I hung decorative lights in my bedroom behind sheer pieces of fabric and truth be told I'm pretty impressed with myself. The room actually has some romantic appeal. I've got the lingerie on because I know Fitz should be here fairly soon and I want to be ready when he shows up.

I get excited when I see his name appear on my caller ID but my mood quickly goes crashing to the ground when I hear why he's calling me.

"Livvy, I'm going to be late."

I groan, blowing out the candle next to my bed. "What's wrong?" I ask, thinking there is some business issue he needs to attend to.

"That girl Harrison has been seeing dumped him and he's sulking, he's been miserable all day and I need to take him to get a drink."

I scowl, "Fitz, he doesn't need you to babysit him."

"I know, Livvy, but he's upset and he needs someone to vent to and he's my friend."

"Yeah, well I'm your friend too and I'm pretty sure my friend card trumps his friend card. Unless he's sucking your dick too."

"Olivia." Fitz sounds deadly serious, "Don't be crude."

I roll my eyes even though he can't see me, "Why the hell not? It's the truth."

"Olivia stop, don't demean our relationship because you're angry or frustrated."

I scoff, "Relationship? What relationship? We can't even go out to dinner or a movie like a normal couple. We constantly have to hide everything about our relationship. I'm basically your mistress."

"OLIVIA." He cuts me off, now he's really angry. "Stop talking right now before you say something you're going to regret. And don't you dare call yourself a mistress. That's unfair to both of us and it sure as hell is not the truth."

We are both silent for a few minutes and then Fitz speaks again, "I'm getting one drink with Harrison and I will talk to you later. I love you." He abruptly hangs up the phone and I sink back into my bed.

I can feel the tears start to threaten and I grab a pillow and cover my face. No one can hear me but I'm still uncomfortable crying. I let myself sob into the pillow and then pull the pillow off my face when I think I've cried myself out.

I don't even know why I'm so mad all of a sudden, it's not like anything has changed. Fitz and I have never been able to do things normal couples do. We are basically recluses and rarely leave his house save for the few and far between movie nights we have with Abby. I'd like to try to convince myself that the reason I'm getting so frustrated is because keeping this secret is tiring and getting old but truthfully that's not it, the issue is that I'm falling more and more in love with him and I'm scared that maybe he isn't, maybe he doesn't want to go public because I don't mean as much to him as he does to me.

I get up out of my bed and grab for my favorite DVD. It's the one movie I can watch no matter what emotions I'm feeling. I put the DVD in and go to turn off the lights and blow out the candles but I decide to leave them on, I worked hard putting them up so I might as well enjoy them a little bit.

I smile when the credits start, The Princess Bride has been my favorite movie since I can remember and I don't think it will ever change. This was always how I imagined falling in love when I was a little girl, the perfect—if slightly skewed—fairytale.

I quickly shed my lingerie and pull a Berkeley shirt of Fitz's over my head and slide into bed, clutching a stuffed dog.

Westley and Buttercup are traversing the fire swamp when I hear my front door unlocked. I know Abby won't be coming home so I'm confused for a moment until I see Fitz in my doorway and remember that I gave him a key.

"Hi." He says quietly, standing in my doorway and leaning against the doorframe.

"Hi." I say back, only pausing to look at him long enough to notice that he's wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants and then return my attention to my movie.

Fitz looks over at the tv, "You're watching The Princess Bride and I know that's your "happy place" movie. I don't like that I made you sad Livvy."

I resist retorting with a snarky comment about his Al Czervik-esque getup and instead I continue watching my movie.

He moves to sit on my bed so that he's blocking my view and he reaches for the remote and pauses the tv.

"I'm watching that." I say, still trying to ignore him.

"Olivia, we have to talk about what happened. You calling yourself my mistress—that hurt me. You said that because you knew it would hurt me and what I don't understand is why you're so mad about this all of a sudden?"

I sigh and just sit there on the bed with my arms crossed like I'm a grumpy child. Fitz glances around the room and his eye narrow when he gets a glimpse of my nightstand and the piece of mail I totally forgot I left there. He picks it up and reads it, smiling and then looking up at me, "You got a wedding invitation from your friends."

His face then falls into a frown as if suddenly he's realized why I'm so upset.

"You're upset because your friends are getting married and they are able to profess their love for each other freely and openly while you can't even tell them you are dating someone."

I nod my head, of course Fitz is right.

I sigh and I start to speak, "I'm sorry Fitz, I am. I shouldn't have said those things but I got this and I was upset because they are so happy and all they ever talk about is how happy they are with each other and I'm really happy with you and yet I can't tell anyone. I have to hide how I feel about you as if it's some dirty little secret and I hate that."

Fitz nods his head and sets the card down on my bedside table. "I'm sorry Livvy. I know this is hard and I want to tell people too. I love you, there is literally no one else I'd rather spend my time with and I hate that I can't talk about that and if this is really bothering you that much then I want to tell people. I don't care about the consequences, if you are ready to tell people then I am too."

"Fitz, we can't." I say, tears starting to flow freely down my face. "You can say you don't care about the consequences but you have to care about them, they could ruin us. I'd rather keep this a secret, no matter how hard it is, because I don't want to lose you and we are going to be under so much scrutiny if we go public with this while I still work for you that I'm afraid you'll start to resent me and that will drive us apart."

Fitz is looking at me like he is going to start crying. "Olivia, no matter what we do, I need you to know that our time together, our relationship, has been the happiest part of my life. Being with you has made me a happier person than I ever thought was possible. I love you and whatever happens with us down the road, I need you to understand that I could never resent you and I will fight for you because how I feel when I'm with you, even when you're angry at me, is a better feeling than my happiest moment with anyone else. So whatever you want to do Livvy, I'll do it. I just want you to be happy and I don't want _you_ to start resenting _me_."

Fitz pulls me into his arms and just holds me and strokes my hair. He takes a deep breath, "Oh Buttercup, death cannot stop true love, it can only delay it for a while."

I pull back and wipe the tears from my eyes, "You knew that by heart?"

He grins, "Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I can't like The Princess Bride."

I hug him again, "I'm sorry Fitz. I don't know what's wrong with me tonight."

"It's okay Livvy, all is forgiven." He looks around the room, "It looks as if you had something special planned." He says, nodding to the candles and lights.

I shake my head, "Yeah, it was stupid. I just wanted to do something romantic. I even bought new lingerie." I say shyly.

Fitz ears perk up at the word 'lingerie'. "You bought lingerie? Are you still wearing it?" He asks, not even waiting for an answer and pulling the shoulder of my large t-shirt down to try to get a peak.

I laugh and swat his hand away, "I took it off. It's over there on the floor."

He jumps up and grabs it off the floor, holding it up. "Wow, Livvy…you think I could entice you to put it back on?"

I laugh, "Only if you take off that ridiculous Caddyshack outfit you're wearing."

Fitz grins at me, "Done." And with that he wastes no time in stripping down to his boxers and gets back onto my bed.

"Okay, you're turn." He says, grinning at me with his hands behind his head.

I shake my head and laugh hysterically at him for a few minutes until I pull myself together, "You can't watch me put it on."

Of course he protests, "Why not? Come on Livvy, I've seen you naked many times, my mouth has literally been on and inside every possible part of your body."

"First of all, way to make it sound gross. And secondly, it's not that dummy, it's just that what men don't understand is that putting on lingerie is not sexy, I swear to you. It's a lot of squirming around and trying to fit skin tight fabric over your body."

He laughs at me, "Fine, I'll close my eyes."

I quickly shed my shirt and put the lingerie on as quickly as I can, trying not to grunt as I try to pull the tight fabric over my body. Miraculously I manage to put it on without making much noise and I climb on the bed, straddling Fitz just above his pelvis.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now." I tell him.

Fitz opens his eyes and immediately they grow wide, "Oh my god. Well done, Livvy." He says as he runs his hands up and down my sides. The lingerie is dark purple fabric covered with lace on the front. The sides are black mesh and so is the back. You can pretty much see everything except the front of my body in it.

"So you like it?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

Fitz pulls me down to kiss him and I have my answer.

A few hours later I wake up next to Fitz who is snoring softly next to me. My lingerie never came off, it's just pushed up my waist and is pretty uncomfortable so I get out of bed and take it off, depositing it on the ground and grabbing my short knit robe as I head to the bathroom. I exit the bathroom and decide I need a drink so I head to the kitchen. I'm standing in front of the sink gulping down a glass of water when I hear my name.

"Livvy?" Fitz says groggily.

I turn around and see him standing in doorframe that connects the kitchen to the living room clad only in his boxers.

"Fitz, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He shakes his head and walks over to me. I offer him my glass of water and he takes a big gulp of it before he speaks. His voice is less groggy now.

"Thanks Livvy, and it's okay. I don't mind when you wake me up."

I smile up at him.

He grabs the lapel of my robe and pulls me toward him. "I like this." He says, running his hands down the front of the robe.

I put my arms around his toned waist, "Well, we can get you one if you want. I mean, I have a robe for your house so maybe you should have one for mine."

He grins and plays with the belt of the robe. "I think I'm just going to steal yours."

I laugh, "This thing will barely go over your arms, it would be tighter than a muscle tee."

Fitz feigns offense, "Are you saying I'm fat, Olivia Pope?"

I laugh, "Absolutely not, I'm calling you muscular and you just happen to be a lot bigger than I am."

Fitz smiles, "That's because you're tiny."

I roll my eyes at him.

"I think I'm going to steal it anyway though because I'm pretty sure you have half of my Berkeley t-shirts."

"Yeah, you're never getting those back. You should just forget about them."

"That's okay, they look better on you anyway."

I look up at him and grin. It's funny, without heels on he is almost ten inches taller than me. I'm sure it looks awkward but it doesn't feel awkward. I like looking up at him.

"Let's go back to bed." He says, holding his hand out for me to grab onto.

And with that, he leads me back to bed. We climb into my bed together and within minutes I find myself falling into a deep and peaceful sleep curled up next to the man I love.

* * *

Hey guys! Sorry, this was supposed to be posted yesterday but we ended up doing this insane twelve hour hike and when we got back last night I crashed so hard. The next chapter probably won't be up for a couple days because sadly my vacation is coming to an end, BUT I will be posting my new fic, called 'Innocent', very very soon TODAY so please check it out and leave me some comments on it!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


	27. Chapter 27

"I understand and I'm happier than life ever meant me to be."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Benediction from Flappers and Philosophers

* * *

I'm dreading the hours until I have to leave Fitz. Five days without him seems like an eternity. It will be nice to spend a long weekend in Chicago with my family-and it's crazy to me that my baby sister is graduating college-but it's going to be so strange not spending the weekend with Fitz. Weekends feel like our time, we have been making more of an effort lately to act like a normal couple by driving down to Santa Cruz and having dinner or going to movies. Fitz even agreed to spend some time with me and Abby and Quinn, God bless him for that, and I've actually been feeling like a normal person in a relationship. I'm lying in bed next to Fitz and I can't sleep, even though it's midnight and Fitz is dropping me off at the airport in a little over six hours, meaning I have to be up in less than five. I feel a little bit guilty for wanting to wake him up since he's being so nice and dropping me off at the airport and then he has to go straight to work, I really shouldn't wake him up but I kind of need him awake in order to complete the activity that will put me to sleep. We're both naked; our bodies pressed together, arms around each other and legs tangled together. I feel so safe when I'm sleeping like this; Fitz makes me feel so safe.

I wait a little while longer and I know it's no use; I'm not going to be able to sleep without a little help. I start to kiss up Fitz's neck and down his jawline. He starts to move and I can see the smile appearing on his face indicating that he is waking up. I reach my hand down in between the sheets and I run my hand down his chest and through his chest hair, grazing his skin lightly.

He doesn't open his eyes yet but he starts to kiss me back, his mouth finding mine and engaging me in deep and passionate kisses. I feel his flaccid member start to get hard on my thigh and I can feel the need pooling deep in my core and I reach my hand down so I can start to stroke him. He groans and pulls my body closer to him.

I can feel him pressing at my entrance and I feel the desire coarse through my body in waves.

He presses me onto my back and he wraps one of his hands around my left leg and pulls it up around his body. He moves his mouth down to kiss my chest and I start to run my hands through his hair.

He slowly makes his way back up my body and our mouths meet again in a searing kiss. He reaches his hand down and positions himself in between my legs. He enters me at a painstakingly slow pace, his hips are moving tantalizingly slow as he gives me soft thrusts. He continues to kiss me as he pulls me close to him. I try to roll my pelvis, indicating that he's driving me crazy, and he starts to thrust harder, pausing every time he thrusts to roll his hips around and sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through my body. He moves his head to my shoulder and kisses his way along it as he grunts along with his thrusts; his right hand finds its way down to my bum and presses me into him so that every thrust goes a little deeper.

I love this kind of sex, it's slow and intimate and I love to savor every moment with Fitz. I know he can tell I'm close so he starts to thrust his hips even harder and at a quicker pace. I scream into his shoulder as I find my release, biting down to keep myself from being too loud out of habit even though we are at Fitz's house and there's no one around for miles. A few moments later Fitz finds his release and collapses on top of me. He pauses for a few moments, catching his breath and then he moves to pull out of me but I hold him in place, I'm not ready to loose contact just yet.

"Can you just stay here for a little while?" I ask him shyly. He answers by pushing my hair back and placing a long and lingering kiss on my lips. I wrap my legs around his and I move my hands up his glorious naked back and place them around his neck. He runs his hands down my sides and stops at my waist, capturing me even closer to him. He starts to kiss my neck and nuzzles his head in a cozy spot next to my right ear.

After a little while he moves to shift off of me but I clasp my arms around him more tightly and he starts to laugh at me. "Livvy, I'm going to crush you if I stay on you for much longer." I sigh, even though I know he's right. He rolls out of me and I immediately feel empty. He shifts to the side so that we are in a spooning position and my body is pressed tightly to his.

His arms are wrapped tightly around me and his face is nuzzled into my neck. "Do you have to go to Chicago this weekend?" He asks softly and I can't help but crack a smile.

"Why don't you just come with me?" You can just camp out in the hotel and whenever I'm not doing family or graduation stuff I'll sneak off to see you?"

Fitz laughs, "I think that would qualify me for the 'completely whipped boyfriend' category."

I join in on the laughter, partly because of his joke and partly because I always find it amusing when he calls himself my boyfriend. I guess maybe because he's older I have a hard time picturing him as something as casual as a boyfriend.

"Yes, but you'd be MY completely whipped boyfriend."

Fitz laughs, "You're right, as long as I'm your boyfriend I don't care how whipped I am."

I'm blushing profusely at this comment and Fitz takes that opportunity to kiss my cheek.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Fitz asks me.

I turn around so that I can see him eye to eye and I nod my head, snuggling closer to him.

"I _was_ going to go hang out and wait for you like a creep but then we got this new account and the bastards want to go to dinner on Friday night."

"Next time then." I say with a wicked grin.

Fitz laughs and kisses me again, "Next time it's going to be you and me in some tropical location where we can be half naked on the beach all day."

I sigh; I want to do that so much. "Can we go to Palau? Or Bali? Oh how about Zanzibar?"

"Mhh, any one of those places sounds glorious to me. You and me in a hut over the ocean, no one for thousands of miles who knows us, I could kiss you in public."

I lean up to kiss him; I do wish I could do that in public more often. It's so hard to be around him all the time and unable to do something as simple as take his hand unless we're outside of San Jose. It's nice to go to Santa Cruz and Carmel and be able to act like a couple but those blissful moments of acting like a normal couple always make it a little harder to go back to pretending like we have a strictly professional relationship.

"I'll confess one of my own secrets since you shared one of yours with me, sometimes where we're out together and other women are staring at you I literally get so irate that I just want to jump you right there and claim you as mine."

Fitz laughs, "You're hallucinating, women do not stare at me. Also, how many drinks have you received from random men while you've been out with me? It drives me insane."

I laugh, "_You're_ bonkers. For two reasons, one because of your denial about women staring at you, you _were_ named San Jose's most eligible bachelor, and it's not just because you're successful, it's because you're smoking hot."

Fitz laughs and pulls me closer to him, nibbling on my ear and breathing heavily onto my neck, getting me a bit aroused in the process. I continue to speak even though I'm starting to breathe heavily myself, "And reason number two, you're insane if you think there's even the tiniest part of me who would rather be with anyone who isn't you."

Fitz and I lock eyes for a moment and I know he can see the honesty in them, I genuinely meant every word of what I just said to him. We break our eye contact when we both dive in for a kiss, it's a hot, open-mouthed kiss, our tongues are dueling for dominance and I can feel the desire start to pool in my belly once again.

Fitz presses me onto my back and starts to kiss his way down my body. His lips find the heat between my legs and he starts to use his superpower. Within minutes I'm moaning his name and grasping at the sheets beside me as I try to twist and turn my body but can't because Fitz has me pinned to the bed. A few seconds after I let go he is above me and thrusts swiftly into me. He then flips us around so that I am now on to. I start to move my pelvis slowly and I bend forward so I can look into his eyes. I love that I'm the reason he's making those gorgeous looks of absolute pleasure. With every twist and thrust we are closer and closer until we both come apart at the seams. I collapse on top of him and we cling together until we drift off to sleep.

Fitz and I are both lagging when we get up in the morning, it's partly because we're tired but it's mostly because we are both dreading the upcoming long weekend apart.

We are silent as we drive to the airport. Our fingers are intertwined over the console and all I can think about is how I'm going to miss him and how that is pathetic because I'm only going to be gone for five days. Five days, I mean honestly, I feel so ridiculous right now but I can't help it. I don't want to be away from him for four days. He pulls up to the terminal and we get out, he gets my luggage for me and we stand on the side of the road, an arm's length apart and just stare at each other for a moment.

Fitz sighs, "I know we aren't supposed to show any public displays of affection, but I'm going to kiss you in two seconds unless you tell me I can't."

I start to smile, "I will absolutely not stop you."

Fitz bridges the gap between us and wraps his arms around me, brings his face down to mine and presses our lips together firmly. I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts me up so that he doesn't have to bend over me anymore.

We finally break apart and he sets me back down onto the ground. I open my eyes and see that he's laughing at me.

"What?" I ask, a grin forming on my own face.

He shakes his head, "I just forget how much shorter than me you are when you're not wearing heels."

I laugh and run my hand along his cheek. He grabs my hand and looks at me, "You have to go."

"I know." But I can't move just yet.

He cups my face with his hands, "Go have fun with your family."

"I love you Fitz."

He grins, "I love you too sweet baby. Be safe."

And with that I reluctantly turn around and head into the airport.

A few hours later I'm sitting on a plane next to a sleeping Victoria en route to Chicago. Victoria, who hates flying by herself, somehow managed to find a flight that started in San Francisco and stopped in San Jose before it headed out to Chicago. She was so excited to not fly by herself but she's been sleeping since I got on the flight so I haven't even said hello to her yet. But that's okay, I'm still a little mopey from having to leave Fitz and I'm enjoying the view from the sky, plus I had a latte before I boarded so I couldn't sleep if I wanted to. I'm enjoying my favorite view but at the same time all I can think about is how I won't be seeing Fitz for four days and how much I am going to miss him. I feel a little pathetic for thinking about this; I'm not the kind of person who misses someone for so short a time and the more I think about it the sillier I feel, and yet I still can't help it.

About an hour into the flight Victoria finally wakes up. She groggily opens her eyes and stretches in the seat.

"Good morning, sunshine. So how many lunesta did you take last night?" I tease.

"Liv, holy shit, I can't believe I slept through you boarding the plane. How come you didn't wake me up?"

"And get snapped at? No thank you."

Victoria laughs, "Yeah, you're probably right. So crap, how are you sis, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!"

I roll my eyes at her and laugh.

"Damn, Liv, have you lost weight since Christmas? You look awesome." Victoria scans me up and down with her eyes. "Like super fit, are you working out?"

I look down at myself, I don't think I'm skinnier but I guess I'm probably more fit, Fitz and I have been hiking a lot lately—plus we have a _lot _of sex which can definitely be a workout.

"I guess I've been hiking a lot lately, I don't know." I say with a shrug and lean back in my seat.

Victoria continues, "I've been trying to lose weight but I keep going out to dinner with Matt, you know the guy I'm sort of seeing, and he keeps taking me to all these restaurants where I just overindulge and whatever, I'm not gaining weight so I guess it's fine."

Victoria keeps talking and I let her, it's comforting to listen to her talk about her non-problems because it helps me to not think about Fitz, at least not think about him too much.

The flight goes by quickly and Victoria and I arrive in Chicago. We've been here a few times before so getting on the L and heading downtown to the hotel our parents are staying at is no problem.

We arrive in the Windy City late in the afternoon and we meet up with Mom, Dad, and Caroline for dinner. Fitz and I have been texting all day but I haven't had the opportunity to call him and it's driving me crazy. Finally, after a long day of sightseeing and shopping on Friday, I get the opportunity late that night when Victoria is engrossed in something on the television.

I walk out into the hallway and find a little corner where I can sink down to the floor and be out of sight. I pull my phone out of my pocket and I hit the phone icon and smile when my favorites list pops up, Fitz's name comes up first. I just love his name and I get downright giddy when it appears on my Caller ID. I sigh because my boyfriend is ridiculously dreamy. I hit his number and bring the phone up to my ear; my anticipation heightens as the phone rings and within two rings Fitz picks up.

"Hello beautiful." Fitz says as he picks up the phone.

"Hi handsome." I respond, I can't contain the huge smile that unfolds on my face.

"How's the windy city?"

"It's good, I like it here, except for the humidity because it's making my hair crazy. What are you doing?"

"Oh, I bet your hair looks sexy all wavy and natural. I just got back from dinner and I'm getting ready for bed."

I laugh and glance at my watch; it's about 11:30 here in Chicago so it's only 9:30 in San Jose.

"My hair is definitely not sexy like this and you're getting ready for bed right now? It's like 9:30."

Fitz laughs, "Yeah, well I'm sad and pathetic without you here."

I let out a small laugh but I fall silent quickly and we both just let there be silence for a moment.

Eventually I break the silence, "I kind of miss you."

I can practically hear him smile on the other end, "I kind of miss you, too."

I sigh; I really wish he were here with me.

"Did you do anything fun today?"

"We took that architectural boat tour you suggested, it was really nice. Seeing the city from the river and Lake Michigan was really beautiful."

"I thought you'd like it. Did you do any shopping?"

I smile, "Yeah, you were right, Oak Street kicks Michigan Avenues' ass. Caroline was impressed with my 'googling'."

Fitz laughs, "I miss you."

"I wish you were here. This hotel is gorgeous, I bet it has amazing suites."

"Oh, Miss Pope, assuming I'd spring for a suite now are we?"

"Oh, Mr. Grant, I _know_ you'd spring for a suite."

Fitz laughs, he has a gorgeous laugh. "You know me well, Olivia."

I love it when Fitz calls me Livvy, but I like it when he calls me Olivia as well. It's different from the way my Mom uses it, usually only when I'm being scolded. It makes me feel like an adult, like someone who can be taken seriously, someone who is mature enough to be in an adult relationship with a ridiculously handsome man.

"How was dinner?"

He groans, "It was unbearable without you."

I stifle a laugh, "Why was that Mr. Grant?"

"Because they were dull and there was practically no drinking and you weren't there sitting next to me and every time I reached over to cop a feel Harrison got all weird with me."

I can't contain it and double over in laughter.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you? Well, Harrison didn't, he's probably filing a sexual harassment complaint as we speak."

I am laughing so hard I can barely breathe.

"I love your laugh." Fitz says and I can practically feel his smile through the phone.

"Well, you can hear it in person again in like sixty-one and a half hours."

"That was very specific."

"Maybe I more than kind of miss you."

"I more than kind of miss you too, Livvy."

"So, do you have any plans for tomorrow?"

"I'll probably just sulk around the house and get some work done. I have honestly no idea what to do with my weekend without you."

I laugh, "Why don't you call up a friend and bro-out or something?"

I hear Fitz burst out in laughter. "Bro-out? And you think I have friends? I am a sad old man who is far too obsessed with his much younger girlfriend."

I can't help but laugh, "Oh shut up, call a friend, have some beers, and I'll call you tomorrow night."

"I'll be looking forward to it."

I sigh, "I should get going, my Dad has a whole itinerary planned for tomorrow and it starts early."

Fitz chuckles, "Okay, goodnight beautiful. I love you always."

"Goodnight Fitz. I love you always."

I hang up the phone and throw my head back against the wall. I should probably get to bed.

I head back into the room and to my surprise Victoria is still up.

"So, who's the guy?" She asks casually while lying on the bed and flipping through a magazine.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, trying my hardest to be cool.

She puts her magazine down on the bed and looks directly at me, "I'm talking about the guy that you left the room to call, the one who you've been swooning over all day every time you get a text from him."

I shake my head at her and walk over to my own bed to sit down. "There's no guy."

I pick up the television remote and switch it on, casually flipping through channels and not once turning to look at Victoria. If you're going by technicalities, I'm not actually lying to Victoria. I'm not dating a guy, Fitz is not a guy, Fitz is all man, all extremely handsome, muscular, beautiful man.

Victoria gets up and stands in front of the television. "Olivia Katherine Pope, I am your older sister, I know when you're screwing someone." She's using her Mom voice and that's her indication that she's not going to let this go anytime soon.

I lean back and pull a pillow over my face, groaning into it.

"Come on Olivia, tell me what's going on with you now or I'm going to bring it up in front of Mom."

I shoot up, "Screw you Victoria, you need to stop threatening me with telling Mom. We aren't ten years old anymore. You whine about Caroline and I being closer but how can we not be when you're always holding things over our heads?"

She sighs and moves to sit next to me, surprising me when she starts to apologize.

"Fine, you're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't do that. It's a defense mechanism."

I nod my head, "I know, but that doesn't make it right."

She nods her head, "I know."

We are silent for a few minutes and she reaches over to grab my hand. Her hands are warm on my icy ones. It's always been like that, she's warm and I'm cold. I used to think it was a cruel metaphor on our personalities but as I've grown older I realize that's insane.

"Liv, you know I love you and even though we fight sometimes I am still your older sister and I want to be there for you. I promise I won't say anything to anyone if you decide to tell me what's going on with you, especially Mom."

I sigh; Victoria really is a good older sister in spite of her flaws. I mean, I can't really fault her for having flaws she is human after all. It would also be nice to talk to someone about this besides Abby, not that Abby isn't a great confidant; she just has always been kind of a relationship floater and can't really give me much advice on the subject of real relationships. Victoria, on the other hand, is a relationship connoisseur, her last three relationships have all been almost two years long and she recently started dating a guy who I know will become her boyfriend in less than a month. Victoria is just one of those girls that men fall head over heels for. It's not the way she looks, Victoria is beautiful but the one thing I've always been ashamed to be happy about is that I am prettier than she is, it's what Dad calls her "hook", which is his nice way of saying she's good at manipulating people into giving her what she wants. He doesn't mean it in a cruel way, Victoria is not a narcissist or anything and she can be an incredibly selfless person, but she just has this personality that draws you in—men and women alike—and people just flock to her. I've always been a little jealous of that because I've always been awkward and just kind of odd, but truthfully I don't know if I'd enjoy being boisterous like Victoria, it seems exhausting.

I turn toward her, "Okay, you promise not to say anything to anyone?"

"I swear." She says, raising her hand up like she's about to testify in a 50's courtroom drama.

"Swear on something you love, swear on your favorite pair of shoes."

She thinks for a moment, "Okay, I swear on my favorite pair of patent leather cobalt blue Louboutin's."

"Those are mine if you tell anyone so you better take this seriously. You aren't even allowed to tell Caroline."

"I'm totally serious, I am a secret keeping vault." She pretends to lock her mouth and toss away the key.

Laughing, I roll my eyes and turn so that I can cross my legs on the bed. I take a deep breath.

"Okay, you aren't allowed to act all 'big sister' on me and you don't get to interrupt me while I'm talking. Can you do that?"

She crosses her legs on the bed and faces me, nodding her head. "I promise, I can do that."

"Okay, for about four months I have been dating a guy from work."

Her eyes grow wide but she keeps her mouth shut as promised so I continue.

"I know what you're thinking and I promise you I'm not seeing Harrison. That would be so weird; he's like a brother. I don't know why everyone thinks we should date."

Victoria is glaring at me now.

"Sorry, I'm rambling." I shake my head and get my brain thoughts back on track. "He's older—a lot—older than I am and I didn't intend for it to happen. You know how I got to meet the cast of Helio Space One at Quasar Con? Well, it wasn't just a special ticket I won, it was actually a special meet and greet just for me that this guy set up. I had a crush on him since I started working there but that was the moment I realized that maybe it was more than a crush and I could tell he had a crush on me too but I also realized then that maybe he had more than just a crush on me as well and so I just…I went for it."

I fall silent and Victoria waits a moment before she speaks, "Okay, so who is this guy Liv?"

I take a deep breath before I speak, "He is my boss. The owner of the company. Fitzgerald Grant."

Victoria's mouth drops open, she's clearly baffled because Victoria is rarely speechless.

"Holy crap." She finally sputters out.

I give her a moment more to think about what I've just told her but she is still just staring blankly at me.

"Come on, Victoria, can you please say something?"

"What is with you and dating white guys?"

I roll my eyes, "Really? That's all you have to say? And how did you even know he was white?"

She shrugs, "First of all, his name is Fitzgerald Grant, that is like the whitest name I've ever heard."

I narrow my eyes at her, "Like Victoria Pope is any better?"

"First of all, it's less white than Caroline Pope."

We both laugh; she's right about that.

Our laughter quickly fades and we get serious again. "I've seen pictures of him, he donated a lot of money to a charity my boss runs and you guys have planned a couple events for us. He's really attractive, Liv."

I cover my eyes with my hands and groan, "I know. I really like him."

"Wow, for a girl who doesn't use the word 'love', 'really like' is a pretty big deal."

I prop my elbows up on my knees and hold my head up with my palms, "I know, he's just so great. He's nice to me and he makes me laugh and I would rather be with him than pretty much anyone else. I actually miss him right now, am I pathetic?"

Victoria starts laughing so hard she almost falls off the bed.

When she composes herself she grabs my hands and makes me look at her. "You aren't pathetic, that's how you're supposed to act when you're in a relationship."

"But I feel so pathetic, I actually wanted him to meet me here so that I wouldn't have to be away from him all weekend."

Victoria laughs, "What did he say to that?"

I smile, "He would have come but he had dinner with clients tonight that he couldn't miss."

She grins, "It sounds like he really likes you too."

I can't help my maniacal grin, "He does, Vic he's so perfect and I'm so deep into this but I can't tell anyone about it and that's so hard. He's my boss and he's almost eighteen years older than me and…and what would people think even if I could tell them? They'd think I was a gold-digging whore and I don't want that because that's not at all why I like him. He…he sees me and it's so refreshing. And I'm just…I'm so confused because I've never felt anything like this before."

Victoria is laughing at me, "God Liv, you are in this deep!"

I take a deep breath, "Victoria I don't just really like him. I'm in love with him."

Victoria's jaw drops open and she just stares at me for a moment and I let her process what I've told her.

"Liv, are you…are you serious?"

I nod my head and flail back dramatically on the bed, "I am so unfortunately serious. I am desperately, devastatingly in love with him."

Victoria moves so that she is lying on the bed next to me, her head propped up on her arm so that she is looking at me. "Soo...have you told him that?" She asks quietly.

I turn to her and I can't stop grinning, "I have."

Victoria grins, "Has he said it back?"

I nod my head, "He actually said it first."

Her eyes open wide, "Wow Liv, I'm impressed, Mom and Dad always thought I'd be the trophy wife."

I know she's joking but I don't like it. I turn onto my back and stare up at the ceiling, "It's not like that Victoria. I'm not interested in his money."

I feel her hand touch my upper arm, "Liv, I'm sorry, I was joking. I didn't mean it like that."

I sigh, "I know you didn't, it's just that's what I'm afraid of. That everyone is just going to see me as a gold digger."

Victoria laughs, "Liv, no one who knows you well is going to think that. I'm you're Olivia Pope for gods sake. You tutor children, you spend your summers at Uncle John's clinic, you refuse to sell out and get an easy job writing at a trashy magazine. Anyone who knows the real you knows that you would never date anyone just for the money. Plus, even though you refuse to admit it, your Princess Bride loving self is a romantic at heart. You never really reacted like a typical girl around boys even in high school. You didn't have crushes or go crazy over boys. You liked them and they liked you but you never got crazy about it. It's nice to see you all head over heels like everyone else."

I grin, "He's the most wonderful person I've ever met Vic."

Victoria shakes her head and laughs, "My god Liv, I don't think I've seen you smile this big since…" And her voice trails off and I know she was about to say 'since before Huck died'.

We're both quiet for a moment until Victoria bridges the slightly awkward silence. "So what's it like dating an older man, is he romantic? You know what apparently passes for romance lately if you're a guy in your twenties? Dinner at a Burger Joint and then getting felt up on a ratty sofa while watching a ridiculous action flick. Please tell me there's hope for more?"

I laugh and turn to the side, propping my head up on my hand. "Yeah, that definitely does not pass for romance with us. I mean, we have definitely had our fair share of nights at In-N-Out and heavy making out during mindless movies, but that is not what we'd call a romantic night."

Victoria leans in, "Okay then, give me some details!"

I grin, "Well, we can't do a lot of activities outside the house so Fitz makes a lot of dinners for us. He's a pretty excellent cook but lately we've been going to Santa Clara every few days just to feel like a normal couple, but the most romantic thing he's ever done for me is take me to his house in Carmel for a weekend."

Victoria's eyes grow wide, "He has a house in Carmel? Oh my god Liv, I'm so incredibly jealous right now!"

I smile and continue, "He has this gorgeous house right on the water. It's amazing; it's like a little piece of paradise. But that isn't even the best part, he took me to this vineyard—he knows the people who own it—so he had this private tour arranged for us and this incredible dinner planned. We walked around under the stars and he held my hand and he planned it all out because he wanted it to be like The Princess Bride."

I see Victoria's face fading into a look of utter disbelief and I continue talking, "That was when he told me he loved me for the first time."

"Awww." Victoria moans.

"He's just always doing little sweet things for me, like for my birthday—this was before we were even dating mind you—he gave me this gorgeous painted picture of a starry night with the words 'You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are'."

"Oh my god from The Fault In Our Stars. Ugh Liv I'm so incredibly jealous right now. So…tell me something else…how's the sex?"

My face turns flush and I roll over onto my back so I don't have to look Victoria in the eyes while I answer. "Oh god, I mean….all right it's absolutely fantastic. I mean hands down the best I've ever had."

"Well what's so good? Give me details!" She pries.

I laugh and roll my eyes, "Okay…it's not just the sex part that he's absolutely incredibly at, it's everything. The way he kisses me, the way his hands touch my body, the way he holds me when we're being intimate, the way our bodies fit together, the way he looks at me with this incredibly sexy carnal need. I've never wanted anyone so badly in my entire life. And that's not even mentioning his _superpower_."

Victoria props herself up a little bit so she can get a better look at me, "Um superpower? Olivia Katherine Pope you cannot just mention that and then stop talking!"

I laugh, "His superpower is what we refer to as the incredibly ability he has with his mouth when it's…er…between my legs."

I can see Victoria's eyebrows rise up in intrigue. "Go on Olivia." She says sternly.

"He um, well lets just say the frequency at which he um, goes down on me, is far more often than any other guy I've ever been with. And also the uh, feeling, is so much better than anything else I've ever experienced. I mean honestly, every other guy that's ever gone down on me has been completely terrible compared to Fitz."

Victoria is oddly silent and I sit upright and find that she's now lying flat on her back with her hands over her eyes.

"Victoria?"

"I'm sorry Liv, I'm just so incredibly jealous of you right now that I can't look at you."

I burst out laughing, "I'm sorry Vic."

She uncovers her eyes, "It's okay. I'm happy for you Liv. You've had such a rough go of it the last few years I'm just glad to see you happy again."

I lean forward and hug her. She wraps her arms around me, "I love you big sister."

She sighs, "I love you too little sister."

Victoria and I finally go to bed and the next morning comes far too soon. I am awoken by the sound of knocking at our door. I groggily get out of bed and open it to find my Mom at the door.

"Good morning Olive." She says brightly, barging right into our room.

I let out a big yawn, "Morning Mom, what are you doing?"

She walks over to Victoria's bed and gently taps her on the shoulder, "Time to get up Tori."

Victoria groans, "Mom don't call me that." I laugh, she hates being called Tori.

Mom claps her hands together, "Come on daughters, let's get up we have lots of things to do!"

All of a sudden she narrows her eyes at me. "Olivia, where did you get that shirt?"

I yawn, "What do you mean? I'm wearing a Berkeley shirt, I did go to school there."

My Mom gives me one of those motherly glares she's famous for, "I know that Olivia, but it says Class of '92 on the sleeve and you only graduated last year."

Crap, I didn't realize even think about that when I threw this t-shirt into my bag. "Um, it's just from a thrift store."

My Mom looks at me more closely; she definitely knows I'm lying. "Olivia are you all right, your face looks flush?"

I know I can't avert my eyes because then she will really know I'm lying and this is one secret I'm not ready to divulge. So I look her straight in the eyes and I respond, "I'm fine Mom. I'm just going to take a shower." And before she can protest I turn around and disappear into the bathroom.

The rest of the day Mom seems to be quietly trying to analyze everything about me. All through Caroline's graduation and dinner she seems to be gauging my reactions and watching me whenever I take my phone out. Later that night Caroline has invited Victoria and I out to Wrigleyville to a massive graduation party a few of her friends are hosting. I've been enjoying meeting all of her friends but it's almost 1 AM and all I want to do is talk to Fitz.

I find my way onto a fire escape and am grateful it's a small solace from the loud party. I take out my phone and dial Fitz's number. He picks up almost immediately and I can't help the ear-to-ear grin that breaks out on my face.

"Hi." He says as he picks up.

"Hi." I say quietly.

"Oh sweet baby it's so good to hear your voice."

He's not even here and he still manages to make me blush, this is the effect this man has on me.

"Fitz, I miss you."

I can almost hear his smile through the phone, "What are you doing up so late? You need a little help…_falling asleep_, if you know what I mean?"

I laugh, "You're such a pervert."

"How was your day today Livvy?"

I sigh, "It was good. Long. I'm at this graduation party with Caroline and Victoria and all I want to do is get into bed and go to sleep."

"Ohh a graduation party, I bet all the graduates are all over you."

I scoff, "Is this your not-so-casual way of asking if I'm flirting with twenty-two year old boys?"

He laughs, "I know you aren't flirting with them but I also know you're far too beautiful to get out of there without any of them trying to flirt with you."

I grin; he can flatter me even when he's being overprotective. "Eh, maybe I don't really notice. I'm not interested in them anyway. I much prefer older me."

"Oh yeah, how much older?"

"Oh, _much_ older than me."

"Anyone in particular?"

"Well, there's this man I work with. He's got gorgeous blue eyes and beautiful curly hair but those aren't even my favorite things about him. My favorite thing about him is his hands. He has the best hands. The way he touches me, the way my body feels under his fingertips. The way he holds me close to him and strokes my skin when we make love."

Fitz groans, "Livvy god what are you doing to me?"

I know it's a rhetorical question and we both just sit there in silence for a few minutes.

I am the first one to break the silence, "I have a hard time sleeping without you. The bed is too big and I find that even with blankets piled on me I can't get warm enough because it's just not the same as the heat from your body."

All of a sudden our moment is interrupted when Victoria opens the window and pears out at me, "Liv what are you doing?"

"Um, I'm talking to Fitz." I say.

She grins, "Okay, well I think we should leave soon."

I nod and she heads back into the house.

"Was that your sister?" Fitz asks.

"Yeah, she knows about us I'll tell you about it later but I should get going."

"Okay. Goodnight Livvy. I love you so much sweet baby."

I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath, "Goodnight Fitz. I love you too."

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please leave me reviews because I LOVE them and they make me write sooo much faster! Also, if you haven't read my new fic 'Innocent' please check it out! I will be updating it on Thursday or Friday, it is requiring quite a bit of research but I love doing it! And follow me on twitter and tumblr to get updates on when my stories will be updated and random details about them. You can find me on both sites as hazelblye thanks so much!

Hugs & high fives, Hazel


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